New Computer

Well, we got a new computer at home last night. It has lots of bells and whistles and seems to be much faster/nicer than our old one. I think the neatest thing is the "aquarium" screen saver. I always liked having fish, but it was such a pain to keep the tank clean and stuff like that.

Other than that... not much happening. It seems quiet with the kids both gone. They're skiing in Michigan - or at least they're at a ski resort in Michigan. I hope they're having fun. I wish I were there.

You know, it's kinda strange how sometimes the things we enjoy the most are not really the things that are pointed out. I mean, like, the screensaver isn't what computer companies use to market their computers. But that's what I like most about my new computer. Hmm. Is it the same with the church? What are the things we try to "sell" people on; the reasons we give that people should be a part of the church? And are those really the things people find meaning in? I wish there was a way to find out what people really like about the church. But I think even that would be hard because we've all been conditioned to say certain "pat" answers (I think).

I dunno, the above paragraph maybe doesn't make sense. But there have been times I've heard somebody sing in church - and they didn't do a real good job, but you could really sense God through their singing. Or someone has spoken, maybe preached a simple sermon, and it just "connected." Or even like the other day, I called a man I didn't want to talk to, and he was reading me a story over the phone, and he has trouble reading, and breathing even, so it took a really long time... but as I sat and listened to him... read the words... it was like one of those... holy moments, you know.

Come, Holy Spirit. I want to be holy.
I want to want You.
Make me new.

Come, Holy Spirit. Work in my heart.
Soul, mind, and senses.
Make me Your art.

I love you, Lord. To the rest... peace & revolution.

Spirit

Reading Eugene Peterson's "Traveling Light." He says on p.87, "Spirit is the scriptural word for God sharing his life in our lives. It means that God is not an anonymous somebody 'out there' or an idea explained in a book, but a living presence whom I experience in the life I live day by day. God gives himself to me. I receive God into myself. Spirit is God's gift of himself in my experience."

That's pretty cool. I like Eugene. And, thanks God, for your gift to me. I feel much better today than the past... um, many day. I was thinking about my posts, and they all seem to be me griping and complaining (except the optimist one). Seems kind of odd that - on the cggc blog I posted about optimism, and it seems to have shut the site down. I'm just asking myself really... why? I dunno.

At any rate, today seems a good day. It's really cold, but it's pretty, and my chest doesn't hurt, and I think we're going to buy a new computer for home, and it's interesting that the church gave us a Christmas gift last Sunday that will help with that in a huge way; plus I took some of the memory out of my home computer and put it in my work one and that helped.

Now if I could just get motivated to do some work. That's the bad thing about not having to prepare a sermon - I have time to do all the other things I need to catch up on, but I don't feel like it, or I can't decide what to do, or something. And I actually don't have to prepare a sermon for TWO WEEKS IN A ROW! Cool. I am looking forward to seeing how people react to the "Luggage" nooma video on New Year's Day.

Well, it's been real. Thanks for sharing your life with me, God. Thanks for letting me tag along. Spirit is as Spirit does. (and what was that abotu chocolates?)

The Chronicles of Narnia

I saw "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" the other night. It was okay. But I have to say... I'm glad I didn't buy in to all the hype; glad I didn't sign up for the SERMON CONTEST; glad I didn't show a bunch of pre-release clips; etc.; etc.; etc.

Maybe it's just because I'm in a real cynical/depressed sort of mood right now, but I just don't get it. Or maybe it's because I haven't read the books. Like I said, it was "okay," but not great. I doubt that I will see it a second time. Just didn't meet the expectations I had. Which were pretty high. So, again, it's not like it was "bad."

And I've heard that the "Christian message" comes through loud and clear. Really? I mean, I can see it. But I was looking for it. But if I weren't, and I'm almost positive if I weren't a Christian, I don't think I would see it at all. Which doesn't make it a bad movie. I guess maybe I was just really turned off by all the hype, and it didn't deliver for me.

Other than that, I'm rather blue due to my compu(ter) at home still not working right. Spent almost all day yesterday and last night on the phone with Gateway, Juno, McAfee, and I tried to call Microsoft but they weren't open. I think it's depressing becuase there is really nothing I can do. People can tell me to do this or do that, and if I try it and it doesn't work... there is nothing I can do. I feel helpless. Hopeless. I feel like a failure. And to top it off, I get to cantata practice last night and somebody jumps on me for not speaking loud enough during part of the service this morning. She could have been talking about when I was trying to pray for the little girl who is missing in Fort Wayne. I was crying for crying out loud! I am so sick of people bitching and moaning and whining (excuse me). I just don't even care anymore. Merry bleeping Christmas. Oh, and I forgot the phone call I got DURING cantata practice, from the guy who doesn't even attend church, who read the bulletin insert about the candy canes, and he wanted to read me one he had that was better, so maybe I could put it in the bulletin next week. :) You don't wanna know what I'm thinking.

So much for the optimist revolution. I am losing.

I read this morning from Eugene Peterson's "Traveling Light". He was commenting on Galatians and being free in Christ. He told a story about a guy who visited a mental institution and the guy thought everybody there seemed to be perfectly sane - they spoke well, they talked normal, they didn't seem insane at all. But the doctor in charge said, "Oh yes, they sound fine, but everything they talk about is about themselves. They are completely self-absorbed. They can't talk or think about anyone but themselves. That's why they are in a place like this." Wow... that hit me square between the eyes. I have been so self-absorbed lately. Feeling sorry for myself; worrying about me; wondering why my life isn't better. Forgive me, Lord. May I be released from this institution, and freed into Your world?

Thank You for listening; and forgiving; and caring. I like Your smile. I love You.

Not so much

Okay, so I don't actually "hate" Christmas. But I hate a lot of what goes on around this time of year. I hate being so busy; I hate that others are so busy; I hate that no one has time to blog. :(

But I did get my X-mas shopping done. Yesterday (my day off), I kind of just meandered through Barnes & Noble, Walmart, and Glenbrook Mall. I "do" like doing that at Christmas... strolling around watching other people; saying an occasional prayer for someone who looks especially lonely or stressed (secret prayers).

I was super stressed agian yesterday morning. Our stupid home computer won't work again - won't allow online access. I get soooo frustrated with it. And I HATE calling gateway. So, I haven't done anything yet. I worked for sevearl hours trying to do what I could do. No luck. Maybe Jane will call Gateway this time. :)

Last night both kids had their "significant others" over after the basketball game. I hate to say anything for fear of jinxing it, but they both actually have nice "friends" now. I am especially happy about Carrie. I actually like her boyfriend for a change. Even though I don't know him too well, he at least seems like a good guy.

Isaac had a job interview yesterday - at the Ossian grocery store. Wow - I think that's a first. I hate getting on him about getting a job, but it's one of those "dad" things that I feel like I must do even though I don't want to. That's the part of parenting I don't like -- I want to be friends with my kids, but there are times when you have to be the tough guy. And I just really don't like playing that role. Anyway, I don't know if he'll get the job - I think he should, because I think he will naturally excel at whatever he does. But, even if he doesn't, I think he can get one at East of Chicago or somewhere else. He did another super job of playing guitar and singing at the Norwell basketball game. Maybe the best he's sang. Still can't believe how he does what he does. I don't think he knows he's like the star of the show, and how many girls (and ladies) have their eyes glued to him. I hope he can stay humble.

Well, I have a million things to do. Can't believe Christmas is next week. I would like to go see The Chronicles of Narnia this afternoon. And maybe get another Nooma DVD to show for New Year's Day. I can't decide if I should show "Luggage" or not on NYD, becuase of the ending. I like it, but Jane deosn't think I should show it on a Sunday morning. If you haven't seen it, you should.

Peace, my friends. Much of it. And revolution to the end.

A Quote

"One's destination is never a place, but rather a new way of looking at things."
... Henry Miller

Too Busy

Okay, I'll go ahead and say it... I hate Christmas. Not that I hate Christ; not that I hate what Christmas is supposed to be about; not that I hate family and friends getting together or celebrations or programs or parties of any kind. I hate that everyone is so busy around Christmas time. Especially me.

I have so much to do I don't even know what I need to be doing right now. So I stopped. I'm just going to sit and blog here for a bit.

I hate all the discussions over whether some churches should close on Christmas or not. You know, don't we have anything else to do other than criticize and point the finger at what someone else is doing (which is exactly what I'm doing, I guess). I mean, yes, my church is going to have our usual service on Christmas day (we cancelled Sunday School though). I even gave in to the pressure to have a Christmas Eve service. Personally, I think we should have worship services on Christmas day. And you know what... people WILL be having services on Christmas day. So what if some people are not. I don't know what it's like running those churches. And I don't care.

I was reading another blog which was solely about this subject - and someone quoted the lyrics to an old Petra song:

We're on another witch hunt
Looking for evil wherever we can find it
Off on a tangent hope the LOrd don't mind it

We're on another witch hunt
Taking a break from all our gospel labor
On a crusade but we forgot our Savior

Which reminds me of another rant I'm sick of... all the people making a fuss over whether we say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays." WHO CARES! Is this stuff really worth arguing over? Does it really make a difference in anyone's life? It's like whether we should include certain words in the pledge of allegiance. As a Christ-follower, I don't think we should even say the stinking pledge of allegiance. Or whether we have flags in our churches; or whether the Ten Commandments are hung on a wall; or... you know, I could go on like this for hours.

I guess I'm tired of Christians being known as people who do nothing but whine and bitch. Or, better yet, I'm tired of Christians BEING people who do nothing but whine and bitch!

Do we really think that if we don't go on these crusades the church is going to lose? Do we have that little trust in God to keep things together? Sometimes I think it's more a case of... if we can occupy our time with nonsense like this, we'll be so busy, and we'll think we have an excuse for not doing more "Christ-like" things. But... maybe this whole post is just my excuse... to keep from finishing my sermon, or calling someone, or sending a note, or doing something constructive.

I really hate that people are too busy. I hate sitting here alone.

Happy Holidays

Sundays Off

Yesterday was an AWESOME day!!! I was involved in my first African-American funeral service. The lone black member of my church lost his mother. The funeral was at Wings of Deliverance Church. It was an honor to be a part of it. It lasted 2 HOURS before we even went to the cemetary. Bishop Jimmie Clark preached for an hour himself. It was incredible. Rev. Sparks sang this song that drove me to tears. Undoubtedly the most inspiring funeral I have ever been a part of or attended.

But that's not even the best part of the day. I had a chance to seee my all-time favorite band again last night... Sundays Off. A 3-piece band that will knock your socks off. And they have one of the best guitists I know of too -- Isaac Horwedel. :) Anyway, they hadn't played out in a long, long time, and it was soo good to see them again. They did 2 White Stripes songs, 2 Hendrix songs, and a whole lotta improvisation stuff. The only regret is that they didn't do any of their original music off their first cd. "Watching Words" is one of my favorite songs. I wish they would play out more - like every weekend! :) And to top it off... my lovely daughter was there too!!! What a nice night.

Okay, gotta go shovel snow so people can get to church this morning.

peace and revolution!

Optimism is a revolutionary act

I just read a thing on Cameron Crowe and read that quote: "Optimism is a revolutionary act." THAT IS AWESOME. I wanna be an optimist. (that sounds so strange compared to 'I wanna be an anarchist). Crowe also said, "There’s a lot of cynicism in the world, but you can be an optimist without being a puss about it." Okay, cam, I will try. :)

And this is quite a switch if you happened to read my original blog from yesterday - which I later edited because it was terrible and I used a cuss word and everything.

I got a new book last night: "No Perfect People Allowed." Started reading it because for the second night in a row I couldn't sleep (though I finally did, but I only had 1 1/2 hours the night before). Anyway...

Right from the start John Burke says, "We have deconstructed everything, identified all the problems with the current church, and proclaimed what we knew would not work. We've read statistitians like Barna, Gallup, and Regele warn of the impending doom for our generation and the church in America. What disturbs me is the absence of a path forward. We don't need more deconstruction, more theories, and more statistics; rather, we need tangible evidence that God is still doing what God has always done in every generation, constructing his church out of the most hopeless situation. It's not tearing-down time anymore - it's construction time!"

Isn't that great?! The book sounds really good - even though it's a big one (thick). I like small paperbacks, but sometimes the thick ones are okay.

On another note... I went to a thing for church leaders last night and the leader of it asked me to say a few words about Donald Miller... but then he never gave me an opportunity to talk. It was kind of funny. And probably a good thing, becuase I didn't really know what to say (nothing personal, Don, you're a great guy!). :)

Well, there's a bunch of snow and it's my day off. I need to remember to pick Jane up from work. She's the sexiest pizza maker I know. I also need to remember to ask Bob Eatherton for the dvd's from the Catalyst conference 2005.

That's it for now. Gotta clean house. Peace and Revolution!

What a day...

I am so glad there is an "edit" button on these blogs. I wish life could be like that.

This morning I posted on this very post some really negative stuff. I had had a rotten day yesterday. I was depressed, mad, nuts... the whole nine yards. And I did ask for prayer. Maybe somebody prayed for me... because today has been so much better. Thank you, Lord.

If I offended anyone in my earlier post, I am sorry. Sometimes I can be so self-centered and stupid. So, I erased the post. Let's put it behind us. Forget it was there. Okay? :)

Anyway, I am glad to have had this day. I just arrived home from Huntington -- in 8 fresh inches of snow. We should not have been on the roads because there hadn't been any snow plows out. But WE MADE IT nonetheless.

Jane and I attended our Region's District Leadership Meeting at Ponderosa. We took Scott & Linda Kling with us. They are a FANTASTIC couple. There ended up only being 7 other people there - I'm sure partly because of the weather. But, it was a nice time anyway. And I got a new book -- "No Perfect People Allowed" by John Burke. The by-line says, "Creating a come as you are culture in church." Could be interesting. But then, our church kind of already has a come as you our feel. I like my church. I hope other people do too.

God is good. Thanks for taking care of me. Thanks for the people you've put in my life.

peace.

Dysfunction

I hate it when watching t.v. and one of those commercials for erectile dysfunction comes on. I can't imagine what it's like for a guy who is actually suffering from it... like it's probably not bad enough, and then to sit there and wonder what his wife is thinking.

Anyway, the reason I am even thinking about that is because I seem to be having 'sermon dysfunction.' And to date, I hate that even worse -- because I seem to suffer from it quite regularly.

Why can't I just write? Or even think? Help.

Last week I talked about our need to trust God more for what He can do "through" us. And now I am having a hard time trusting Him to give me a word for this week. Hmm. I hate it when that happens too.

I was hoping that by writing something... something might come to me. Well...

I'm waiting.

Okay... I'll change the subject. Maybe that will help. Can't decide which book to read next. I might read "Traveling Light" by Eugene Peterson. It's his musings about the book of Galatians. I think I might preach through Galatians at the beginning of the year. I haven't done a book series in a while. At least then I will know what to preach each week.

I would kinda like to re-read Donald Miller's books though. I really, really liked the two I've read so far. They just made me feel good; and think good. They made things make sense and seem like 'old times.' Like, when you think about being curled up in the big chair as a little kid and watching t.v. or something. All the planets were lined up.

Yeah... that's a much better thought than erectile dysfunction.

Oh... I just saw the UPS truck. Nope - kept going. I thought they might be bringing my memory for the other computer. Still can't get online at home. And it's a bummer. Gateway said it would be here the next day. That was 6 days ago. They seem to be having 'shipping dysfunction.' Or truth-telling dysfunction. Or...

Alright... later. Dysfunction junction, what's your function...

a Generous Orthodoxy - Why I Am Green

This was a good chapter from McLaren's 'A Generous Orthodoxy' (as they all have been). It's turning into a real good read.

In this chapter I liked what he said Neil Livingstone told him, on p.247: "...that Jesus didn't want to create an in-group which would banish others to an out-group; Jesus wanted to create a COME-ON-IN GROUP, one that sought and welcomed everyone. Such a group came not to conquer, not to badger, not to vanquish, not to eradicate other groups, but to save them, redeem them, bless them, respect them, love them, befriend them, and embrace them."

He went to to say, "Or, put another way, Jesus threatened people with inclusion; if they wre to be excluded, it would be because they refused to accept their acceptance."

I like that approach. But it's so hard to grasp/teach/relay/relate... because I think everyone wants to be accepted. And part of being accepted is this feeling that you're on the "inside"; and inherent with being on the inside is that someone has to be on the "outside." And I don't think that's how I think, but I think that's how a lot of people think. It's the classic Jr. High mentality; and I don't mean to de-mean anyone, but unfortunately I think that is where most people are at (even myself much of the time). It's like that is where people relate when we're not using our brain. And it's so hard for people to constantly being "on"; to constantly be using their brain; to constantly be "aware" of what they're doing.... Hmmm.

And please don't take from the above paragraph that I am somehow superior to others. I am not. I think we all know things that we have trouble living out. I am just really fortunate that I can spend a great deal of my time trying to be consciously aware of how I'm living and what I'm thinking. I wish I were better able to live this out with the people in my church; and could better relay it.

On a somewhat related note... I saw a bumper sticker the other night that said: "When Jesus said, 'Love your enemies' I think that meant 'don't kill them.'" It took me a minute to digest, but I think that's an anti-war saying. AND I LOVE IT. How do you argue with that? Unless you take the approach that we are somehow superior to others. And how Christ-like is that attitude?

I said this at the close of church on Sunday (the bumper sticker). I didn't explain or go into detail, because they all know I am a pacifist, and so many of them are NOT. I would be curious to know what everyone thought though. I have actually been thinking of doing a message on why I am opposed to war/killing/capital punishment/etc. It's certainly something I want to handle with a lot of grace though, because I can understand where people are coming from. But that doesn't mean I think it's right. And I honestly do think that's part of a pastor/preacher/teacher's job - to address wrong thinking/acting, but in a gracious, loving way. And that's usually where I struggle - the gracious, loving part. :) Help me to save, redeem, bless, respect, love, befriend, and embrace them, Lord.