I honestly don’t know if I am emergent or not, or if I ever was. But… I used to have a “Friend of Emergent” button on my blog; I used to tell people that I was “with” the emerging church people; I used to feel a connection with the things I read and saw from those who say they are part of the emerging church. However, I removed my “Friend of Emergent” button today.
Why, you ask? Well, probably several reasons… and I don’t know that any of them are necessarily good. It probably has more to do with why I root for one sports team over another, or one player against another. Maybe it’s just a “feeling,” I don’t know. But…
- I don’t smoke a pipe or have any facial hair in odd places.
- I’m not young and hip and I really hate going to coffee houses, because I don’t know their lingo and feel stupid just ordering decaf coffee (and why can’t I just get a large and have it be the biggest size?).
- I am not well read in philosophy and church history, etc. (I just bought “Kierkegaard For Beginners” and if it weren’t for the pictures I wouldn’t have bought it).
- Honestly, and I don’t know how to say this in a nice way, I don’t mean to be mean, but… most of the people I know who call themselves a part of the emerging church seem very arrogant to me. Like, they have the answers – even though they aren’t going to share them – but “you” certainly don’t know anything. Maybe “smug” is a better word than arrogant.
- I used to think it was the emerging church that was being attacked by “other” Christians, but somewhere along the way it seems the tide has changed. Now the emerging side seems to be on the attack, or maybe it’s more of an “aggressive defense.” I don’t know, at any rate, this having-to-prove-we’re-right-and-you’re-wrong thing really brings me down anymore. As does the making fun of others.
- Perhaps the biggest turn-off for me is a bit more personal. I guess I’ve always felt myself to be somewhat emerging, or an emerging thinker anyway. I’ve always resonated more with postmodern’s or Gen-Xers or whatever you want to call them… but, quite honestly, I just don’t seem accepted by them. In fact, I feel downright rejected. Maybe it’s just because I’m too much of a simpleton, or maybe I’m a complete fool, but for some reason my emails never seem to get responded to, my comments go unnoticed, and whenever I am at gatherings of church leaders, I always feel left out. Actually, it’s more like, “Oh no, here he comes. Let’s find someplace else to go talk.”
So, I guess it boils down to… I am no longer emergent because of the emerging church people. Sorry. I realize it is probably mostly my fault – that darn lack of self-confidence and all. But it also raises the question of motive for me. Why do people want to be aligned with a specific part of the church? Why can’t it just be “the Church”? Is it because they really don’t like some people; they want to have their “own thing”; they just want to hang with the “cool crowd”? I don’t think that is it for most people emerging… but it can certainly “look” that way to some.
At any rate, I understand there are only a handful of you who read my blog. And I hope you know by now that I don’t really know much of anything about anything. My thoughts are fairly simple, rarely coherent, and largely biased by my severe lack of self-esteem and knowledge. So, don’t go thinkin’ this has near as much to do with the emerging church as it has to do with my own state of mind. It’s just me, you know. I will continue to read things from McLaren, and the Jones boys, and others, but… I don’t think I’m “emergent” anymore. I’m just a follower of Jesus. Okay?
This is what I think: We are all messed up. God is wayyyy patient with us. I like Tombstone frozen pizza’s (deluxe). I hope Jesus accepts me.