This and that...

Yeah, it was one of those days. I actually got a lot done today, but there just seemed to be a lot of different things going on. My mind can only take so much.

Me boy Isaac actually blogged TWO DAYS IN A ROW! :) That was good. He posted some nice quotes from Oscar Romero.

We went to see a financial planner sorta guy today. That is weird. Talk about feeling stupid. I've never had too many finances to try to plan, and just writing a check can be a challenge for me. But, now that we're like rich farmers and all (we 'almost' own 39 acres of Illinois farmground)... We had some questions. I tried to look intelligent and nod and smile at all the right times, but it felt just like bein' in Junior High tryin' to act cool with a girl. I'm sure I looked stupid. But at least the guy is nice enough to make us think we're important.

Jane got the Christmas tree up!!! She is such a dandy wife. The tree is not decorated (well, actually, for some reason there is one ornament on it), but it looks kinda cool in the corner of the living room. She had to move the marble-top table with the antigue lamp over where the dresser thing used to be; and it was moved into Isaac's now-vacant room (sorry bud... it doesn't look too bad though). 'Course, Carrie's now-vacant room is much too small to move anything into. I tried squeezing a box of kleenex in one day, and about blew the roof off. Anyway... I like our Xmas tree - it's a "skinny" tree. Understated.

Tonight I messed up and went and got elected as secretary for this ministry organization I'm on the board of directors of. I can't believe I am even on the board of directors for ANYTHING. And actually, I am on the board of directors for a couple different things now (that just means I'm an old fart). I guess it won't be that bad though. Take some notes; mail some letters. But the meeting was soooo stinking long. I tried to get Tom's attention a couple times - hoping he would stifle some of the kooky talk, but... once it starts, it's hard to stop. The worst part of the ordeal was that I missed "My Name Is Earl"; "The Office"; and even "Grey's Anatomy" (Yes, Carrie, you got me hooked).

Well, it's my night to stay up late (the Thursday night partay - all by myself). It's not everybody that gets Friday off. I need to take something for this stinkin' sarcastic mood. The silence is deafening.

Rain.

Drops.

Splat.

A Christian Influence

Last night was our next to last study on Philip Yancey’s book “What’s So Amazing About Grace.” He was discussing the kind of influence Christians have in the world – how it’s often more negative than positive. I have to admit, I struggle with this some, because I don’t usually think I am a very good “Christian” influence. For instance, Jane and I have recently become friends with some people (Yes, Mike, that would be you and Kim, if you’re reading – Howdy!), and I was really hesitant to tell them what I did for a living, because we enjoy their company, and I didn’t want them to feel weird around us, or to be afraid that I was going to try to “save” them. So I don’t talk much about God or faith, and I don’t really even know where they stand on such things, so sometimes I feel like I’m not a very good Christian, let alone pastor (and maybe I’m not).

But the reason I feel like this is probably largely due to being indoctrinated under the belief that Christians are to always be trying to “save people from hell.” You know, the first thing we need to do upon meeting someone new is find out if they’re a Christian or not so we can establish our agenda with them (Ugh).

My friend, Mike Clawson, shared in a comment about Leslie Newbigin’s book “The Gospel in a Pluralist Society” that Newbigin says “if it is our responsibility to save people from an eternity in hell, then that is more important than anything else in the whole world, and it justifies using whatever means possible to achieve that goal, no matter how manipulative or destructive or apathetic towards other needs in the world.” However, Newbigin (Mike C. writes) suggests that “this is not the case, that the gospel is not about us rescuing people from hell. That is God’s job, and ours, rather, is simply to advance the kingdom of justice, love, compassion, joy, etc. That realization then gives us the freedom to deal with people as people, without manipulation or coercion, and without the anxiety that if we fail that that person is necessarily lost for all eternity.” The idea is that salvation is not so much “getting people into heaven” as it is bringing the things like “justice, love, compassion, joy, etc.” into the world (‘Thy kingdom come… on earth as it is in heaven’). And the truth is, I know a lot of people who are better at doing this than many of the church people I have encountered.

Yancey even took it a step further. He said, “For people who feel obligated to clean up all the evil in the world, I have a word of encouragement: Relax. That’s not our job. Not even Jesus attempted that.” I remember cringing after the 9/11 attacks every time I heard George W. say we were going to “rid the world of evil.” Man, in order to do that we’d have to kill everybody.

Anyway, last night we discussed the parable of the weeds in Matthew 13:24-30; 36-43. The servants asked if they should pull up the “evil” weeds. But the master said no, let the evil and the good grow together, and he would take care of it later. It’s not our job (and we probably don’t really know how to tell the difference).

So… what if Christianity is more about being kind, compassionate, and loving, rather than feeling the need to point out all the evils of the world or figure out who’s “in” and who’s “out”? Hmm… kinda seems to be what Jesus was all about. I pray that I might become more like that kind of person, and have that kind of influence.

Peace, friends. Yep, that’s the revolution.

Youthful Desires

I should have plugged this book some time ago... written by my friend Darrell Reimer. I've actually never met Darrell (otherwise known as Whisky Prajer), but he's been a good friend to me in many a times-o-need and seems to be a good guy (even for a Canadian). :) And... actually, I have yet to read the book meself, but simply based on his blogging, I am looking forward to it. Here's the description on THE ORDER PAGE:

Rowdiness, brains, and a tormented sense of piety run amok in this collection of stories from one of the blogosphere's most charming intellects.

Congrats Darrell, I went ahead and ordered a copy. Not that I was tired of waiting on an autographed one from the author, but... :) Someday maybe I'll just show up in yer neck o' the woods with pen in hand.

Ten Characteristics of A Gracious Person

I got the following from Jim Martin's blog A Place For The God-Hungry. I think Jim's is my favorite of all the blogs I read - always positive, insightful, practical stuff you can use every day. I actually put this as an insert in our Sunday bulletins this past week, and while trying to get the creative juices going today, took another gander and decided to post it here too. I need all the help I can get. Thanks, Jim.

Gracious … Now I like that word. This word is reserved for people who recognize that they are privileged to receive what they have been given. A gracious person is wonderful just to be around. So what is a gracious person?

• A gracious person is slow to take credit and quick to lavish praise.

• A gracious person never seeks to embarrass another. Humiliating another is not in this person’s vocabulary. (And please … don’t say something that humiliates another and then try to escape responsibility by saying, "I was only joking.")

• A gracious person is always thanking others. Do you go through an entire day without thanking another?

• A gracious person doesn’t monopolize the conversation. Someone else has something to offer.

• A gracious person doesn’t try to play "one up-manship." ("That’s nothing, you should have seen what I did!")

• A gracious person pays attention to people. Sometimes people come away from such conversations saying, "He made me feel like I was the most important person at that moment."

• A gracious person desires to say what is appropriate. He doesn’t just say what is on his mind or whatever he might be thinking. (There is no redeeming value in emptying one’s mind of whatever fleeting thought has happened to land at the moment.)

• A gracious person looks out for the comfort of others. "Would you like a cup of coffee? What about a coke? Can I get you a newspaper while I’m out?" etc.

• A gracious person understands that she is not indispensable. You’ve seen this person. She desires constant attention. She has a way of constantly focusing most any conversation back on herself. There is a humility in realizing that you are dispensable.

• A gracious person constantly points out the good that he sees. Maybe you are visiting a friend who lives in another place. Instead of pointing out the inadequacies of your friend’s community, you are constantly finding things that are good. "This cafe has outstanding peach pie! That was delicious." "I just love the way you have planted your garden. It is beautiful!" Gracious people look for the good.

Tony vs. Paul

Man... I saw this at Randy's and it is wild. I wanna live in this world.

Food for thought

"If man is not made for God, why is he not happy except in God? If man is made for God, why is he so opposed to God?"
... Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), Pensees [1660]

Goin' to California...

WHAT A DAY!

First, a delivery truck pulls up with my ink order, and I got a free MP3 player with it (the MP3 player cost more than my order). So I thought that was pretty cool (well, if I can figure out how to use it).

Then... I get a call that someone got Jane and I tickets to San Diego in February - AND THEY'RE FREE!!! They had some frequent flyer miles they had to use before the end of the month, so they got us two round-trip tickets - from Fort Wayne even. Heck, we can almost walk to the airport!

Okay, so, I know how this works... what's going to go wrong now? Ahhhh, I'll just enjoy the moment while it lasts. :)

Peace, friends. Revolution.

Put Christ Where???

It seems that every December you hear people start to complain, “We need to put the Christ back in Christmas.” With schools and governments more and more not allowing religious displays or anything with ‘Christian’ connotations, this is certainly an issue. However, what I feel is even more important than ‘putting Christ in Christmas,’ is perhaps our need to ‘put Christ first in OUR LIVES.’ We don’t just need more carols and manger scenes, we need more of his influence in every area of life – and all year long. So I wish we would be more Christ-centered always, not just at Christmas. But, you know, that's just me. :)

Peace, friends. Revolution(ate).

Christian Coalition President-Elect resigns

Hmm... Now isn't this interesting. I kind of forgot there even was this thing called the "Christian Coalition," and now I know why. I saw this tidbit by Greg Fielder on Jim Martin's blog. Good for you, Rev. Hunter. Read about it HERE.

Doug Murren is blogging

Doug Murren has started blogging HERE. I have enjoyed his Square1 Egram's for church leaders for years.

Glad to see you blogging, Doug!

Xmas or Christmas

Jane overheard a couple of ladies the other day - one said to the other, "I #@%ing hate it when people say X-mas, why can't they say CHRISTMAS for crying out loud!"
Well, here's an explanation from Panatti's Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things:

The familiar abbreviation for Christmas was originated with the Greeks. X is the first letter of the Greek word for Christ, Xristos. By the sixteenth century, "Xmas" was popular throughout Europe. Whereas early Christians had understood that the term merely was Greek for "Christ's mass," later Christians, unfamiliar with the Greek reference, mistook the X as a sign of disrespect, an attempt by heathen to rid Christmas of its central meaning. For several hundred years, Christians disapproved of the use of the term. Some still do.

Merry Xmas, folks!

Is It The End For Michael Irvin?

Oh, I used to like Mike. I've tried to like him always - I'm a Cowboys fan. But man... have you watched him on tv lately? Not that everyone with squinty eyes and slurred speech is using, but... I dunno.

And then there's this episode from the other day. Perhaps Ben Maller says it best:

Talking to ESPN Radio's Dan Patrick, Michael Irvin said that Tony Romo's stellar play might be attributable, not to talent and hard work, but to black heritage. Irvin suggested there might have been "some brother down in that line somewhere." Since Romo is almost as white as I am, it is possible that Irvin was joking. But Patrick apparently didn't think so and asked Irvin if black heritage was mandatory for athletic prowess. "That's not the only way, but it's certainly one way," Irvin replied. "If great -great -great- great- great- great- great- great grandma pulled one of them studs up out of the barn ... `Come on in here for a second,' you know ... " Joke or not, by my count, that's offensive to blacks, whites, grandmothers and humanity in general. And if it was a joke, it's as unfunny as that Michael Richards' tirade. At this point, Irvin and ESPN have been silent on the issue though one hopes that Irvin will issue an apology on Sunday's NFL pre-game show. And let's hope it's not one of those phony "if I offended anyone" apologies. But the networks who hire people like Irvin are the ones who should be apologizing, and not just ESPN.
Posted November 24, by Ben Maller

Say it ain't so, Mike.

Peace in Nepal?

According to Wikipedia, Maoist rebels in Nepal signed a peace treaty with the government on November 21, officially ending a ten-year civil war. I hope this is true as some of our best friends reside there. However, I have learned to be leary not only of things at Wikipedia, but you also never know how reliable the news is. I'm praying for peace in Nepal. (Howdy K, T, M & T)!

A helpful article (I hope) on the Nepal Civil War HERE.

What it is...

Seems I've read several posts lately on some of the more "famous" blogs that were being critical of a lack of content from many bloggers. So I thought I would set the record straight on this one...

My blog is basically a personal weblog (blog). That means I usually write about things that are on my mind or stuff that I find interesting. Now, I also hope to write things that are of interest to you too, because, even though it's a personal weblog, I do still appreciate those of you who drop by here and read and/or leave comments. I 'try' to be sensitive so as to not offend others. I also try to post things that are informative from time to time (I wish I could more often).

So... that being said... I guess if you don't like my blog, maybe you shouldn't read it. Sorry to let you down. For the rest of you, I am very thankful. I feel honored that anyone would read anything I write. Thanks.

MY THANKSGIVING DAY

This Thanksgiving was pretty darn awesome for me. Both kids spent the day (and night) here. I got to sleep in until around 7:30; had lots of coffee; messed with the computer; had a FANTASTIC Thanksgiving meal (Jane is one of the best cooks I know of); had a loooong nap (through most of the Detroit/Miami game); THE COWBOYS WON BIG (this has been known to make or break Thanksgivings in the past - often breaking them lately); and later we all went to see "Little Miss Sunshine" at the dollar theater. It was the second time Jane and I had seen it, and it was still just as funny (Warning: the language is pretty bad. It is rated R). Funny thing, there were only 2 other people watching the movie with us, so it was almost like watching it on a big screen at home - other than this terrible odor, and no dog, or couch).

At any rate, a really, really good Thanksgiving as far as I'm concerned. Tomorrow we're heading to the RCA Dome in Indy to watch our high school football team (Norwell) play for the 3A State Championship. That should be fun.

On the Brain: I have been thinking about the concept of "Intellectual Bullying" lately. Perhaps a post will be forthcoming.

Peace, friends. I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving too. What is it they call this day-after-thanksgiving??? Can't remember, but it seems like a good day to revolution(ate). (I remember one Friday-after I went to the mall and just walked around and silently prayed for people I saw - you know, that they wouldn't let the frenzy get the best of them).

Knowing God vs. Obeying His Commandments

Argh. Only had 6 people show up for Bible Study tonight. I think we started with 13 seven weeks ago. There's probably nothing that frustrates me as much or makes me feel as worthless as the fact that this seems to happen every time we do a study. I just don't have that 'cheerleader quality' to keep people interested. You'd think I would be over it by now, but...

Anyway, it was at least a good discussion. Usually seems to be that way.

I had one thought that I wanted to remember: Yancey asked the question, "What's the difference between knowing God and obeying God's commandments?" I said,

Knowing God means you know you can't obey his commandments, and not knowing God means you think you can obey them (in your own power).

Well, that's about it. Happy Thanksgiving!

Legalism vs. Grace

Our study tonight is from Philip Yancey’s ‘What’s So Amazing About Grace’ session 8. Yancey writes,

At first glance legalism seems hard, but actually freedom in Christ is the harder way. It is relatively easy not to murder, hard to reach out in love; easy to avoid a neighbor’s bed, hard to keep a marriage alive; easy to pay taxes, hard to serve the poor. When living in freedom, I must remain open to the Spirit for guidance. I am more aware of what I have neglected than what I have achieved. I cannot hide behind a mask of behavior, like the hypocrites, nor can I hide behind comparisons with other Christians.

Question: What do you find most difficult about freedom in Christ?

(Yancey asks) Which of the following comes closest to describing you?

- A legalistic emphasis on externals: I sometimes fall into the desire to impress others with my actions. I want people to feel I’m a deeply spiritual person.

- A legalistic extremism: Better safe than sorry is how I sometimes feel. Like they say, “If you give an inch, they’ll take a mile.” I tend to want more rules so I and others don’t stray from God.

- A legalistic emphasis on trivialities: I care about the weighty matters, like justice and faithfulness, but feel overwhelmed by them. It’s easier to control the smaller things, like dress and music. Sometimes I feel this is a manageable way of doing my part.

- An urge to rebel due to legalism: I feel certain religious practices are important, but struggle with a spirit of rebellion against these practices.

- A legalistic sense of failure: I struggle with feeling that I’m constantly failing God or have failed him in a big way in the past.

- Alienation from God due to legalism: I struggle with relating to God due to the legalism in my past.

In another section of his book Philip writes:

Jesus proclaimed unmistakably that God’s law is so perfect and absolute that no one can achieve righteousness. Yet God’s grace is so great that we do not have to. By striving to prove how much they deserve God’s love, legalists miss the whole point of the gospel, that it’s a gift from God to people who don’t deserve it. The solution to sin is not to impose an ever-stricter code of behavior. It is to know God.

I liked this session. I think I probably struggle with A LEGALISTIC SENSE OF FAILURE more than any of the others – though I have issues with several of them. I have trouble with boundaries, and with being accepted. Like... if I don’t know what the boundaries are, how will I know if I am doing okay? And it’s hard for me to believe that God accepts me for who I am. THAT is what I am perhaps most thankful for on this ‘Thanksgiving Eve.’

What about you... what are you thankful for? I'd like to know. :)

Peace.

Say it ain't so, Romo...

I think this teammate is trying to hold Tony back from going after Jessica.

Okay... so, I am a Dallas Cowboys fan. I have been since I was in the second grade. And I've been a Tony Romo fan since he signed with the Cowboys. I lived in Charleston, IL for a summer, which is where Tony played college ball (Eastern Illinois). But, these reports of Tony dating Jessica Simpson... Ugh.

Oh well, if he can keep playing the way he has been, and maybe even get us into the playoffs... heck, he can date Rosanne for all I care!

Random Thoughts (again)

• I can't believe I'm in this good of a mood seeing as how I was brought into reality by a tractor plowing outside our bedroom at 5:30 this morning! Who said country living was quieter?

• "Only the brave know how to forgive...A coward never forgave; it is not in his nature." ~ Laurence Sterne

• My favorite son, Isaac, finally posted again with a Homeless Update and Who am I and What am I doing?. A very nice looking blog, son. I wish more people would comment, and I'm sure they will in time (comments do make a bloggers day). One bit of fatherly advice... regarding your music: I'm not saying you shouldn't pursue writing and being original, because you should. But it kinda seems to me that some of the best just went ahead and PLAYED. They played covers, old stuff, new stuff, stuff they were unfamiliar with, stuff they'd played all their lives... And pretty soon THEIR stuff 'just came out.' So, I'm glad you've got the urge to play again. You have always seemed to tick better when you were doing it more often (even if it maybe doesn't always "feel" better). Okay, 'nough advice from the old man. :)

• From newlivingtranslation.com: "Don't forget to do good and to share what you have with those in need, for such sacrifices are very pleasing to God." Hebrews 13:16 (From the Study Bible note: "Wealth is a gift from God, but we must be wary of becoming too dependent on money. The best way to loosen money's grip is to give generously to God's work.")

• It's Tuesday and the sun is shining. What a great reason to celebrate!!! God is good. But also... He is.

Peace, friends. Revolution(ate).

Them's Fightin' Words...

I've been trying to stay out of the Mark Driscoll fiasco because I can see good points on both sides, but... I just saw THIS ARTICLE where scientists have apparently been able to swap genes in fruit flies and they've made boy flies fight like girls and girl flies fight like boys. Do you suppose they could make Driscoll fight like a feminist and feminists fight like Mark? Or is there even a difference? :)

Eph. 6:10-12
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

FOR THE RECORD:
I have no problem with THIS POST by Driscoll (which seems to be causing the current uproar). That doesn't mean I agree with everything he said, and it doesn't mean I can't understand how some people have been offended by Mark in the past. But I think this latest flap is a little over-the-edge.

Random Thoughts...

- I think my favorite worship song is "How Great Is Our God" by Chris Tomlin, Jesse Reeves, and Ed Cash. We did it yesterday for the first time since my son left for college... because, honestly, I couldn't sing it without coming apart because I always thought it was one of the best songs our band did. It was still good with just guitar and synth, but not quite the same.

- WHAT DO YOU DO? My kids have been ministering to the homeless in Indy and last week my daughter offered to find some shoes for a lady. She wanted a specific pair of these new Nike's. Hmm. My daughter would probably like to have a pair of them herself. I think both can do without, and I'm glad Carrie is wise enough to know that. I'm also glad both my kids are who they are. :)

- COMMUNITY WORSHIP: Last night we got together for our 'community worship service.' It's supposed to be six churches, but there were only four pastors there, and I'm not sure how many churches were represented. It was still a good time though. But... it's funny how everyone assumes that everyone else "does worship" just like them. The pastor of the church where it was held was telling us other pastors what he wanted us to do. He had to explain some things to Tom and I - I guess we're just not as "up" on things as some people. :) It's been awhile since I've helped with the offering, and I'm still not sure if I did the 'prayer of dedication' right. At least the guy behind me told me "nice job" when I sat down. :) It was fun though.

Peace, folks. Revolution(ate).

Trickin'

This guy is part of my church, and I think he is flippin' amazin'! Benjamin Towle Atkins is his name. He is sometimes known to only wear one shoe. Always looks like he's thinkin' deep thoughts. A very cool guy.

Yeah, he's part of the revolution.

Today's Prayer

(from marketplaceleaders.org)

Dear God, Calm my spirit today. Please forgive me of gossip or worry about the people and circumstances that surround me. Please replace anger with peace. Please help me to keep my focus on Jesus, author and finisher of my faith. Please help me to focus on what I need to accomplish today, and what You want me to do. Put away all wrong thoughts and keep me from wrong actions. I want to be a steady, stable, godly person who is a pleasure to be around and a loving witness of your mercy and glory. May I be an instrument that produces a sweet, soothing sound, uplifting spirits and pleasing the Master Conductor, My Lord. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

The Saucy Search Engine

I found this over at AC's blog. She's known as Ms. Dewey. And she's not your average search engine. As described on Adrants: "She's saucy, she's sexy, she even poses provocatively from time to time with a cute little notepad - but beware, like most hot chicks she is chatty as hell and gets a little needy when neglected (along the lines of "Hel-loooo? Type something here!"). Also, sometimes she sings. We don't get embarrassed often, but we got embarrassed then."

I would suggest we not even tell Mr. Driscoll about this. ;)

Peace, joy, and revolution. (not to be confused with peace, love and gap.

Just thinking...

I should probably write something... but I just don't really know what to write. It's not that I have nothing to say, necessarily, but I am trying to be more positive about things and some of what I feel like saying isn't real positive. Not a lot, but some.

MISCELLANEOUS:

- I had tomato soup for lunch today. And I didn't even ruin any pans in the process. The last time I tried to make it I had a little trouble.

- I am just about ready to switch this blog to Blogger Beta. I have been messing around with a test blog and I 'think' I have it almost the way I like. I'm still not sure, but Blogger is telling me it's time to start thinking about it.

- I haven't been reading much lately. I'm kinda just burned out on reading right now. My mind is weary. It's difficult to hold together too many different strains of thought at the same time. Plus I haven't been feeling the greatest. My leg is bothering me again - probably from all the driving the past few weeks. The rainy weather is doing a number on my sinuses too.

MARK DRISCOLL

- I've been following some of the discussion about Mark. I have been tempted to jump into some of it, but... I dunno. I'm not really up for a fight right now. Besides, I am having a hard time seeing either side as being completely right or completely wrong. For those of you who might be unaware, Driscoll wrote a post about the Ted Haggard Scandal HERE, and it has caused quite a stir regarding his comments about women. He mentioned something about wives who "let themselves go and don't keep themselves attractive can add to a husband's temptation problem." He even said they're not 'responsible for the problem', but that it "doesn't help."

You know, I am not defending Mark, and I don't agree with him on gender roles in the church, but the truth is... I think there is some truth to what he is saying. I have known some women who, when they got married, they no longer took care of themselves because they believed it was their husbands responsibility to love them no matter what. And... I have known many husbands who have done the same thing to their wives. And the real truth is... it has nothing to do with keeping yourself looking "hot" for your spouse; but it has more to do with ATTITUDE and LOVE towards your spouse. We are not our own.

Driscoll has since written a response to his critics HERE. And... surprise, surprise... that hasn't helped many of them because what many of them really want is for him to apologize for his beliefs (because they think his beliefs are wrong). Again, I don't agree with his views on gender roles either, but I don't believe it's my place to make sure that Mark Driscoll agrees with my views. Some people just plain don't like Driscoll, and in my opinion, that is THEIR problem.

I guess that's an area where... I dunno... maybe I've grown complacent. Or... maybe I've matured, and I just don't feel the need to defend every-little-thing against those I disagree with anymore. Whichever the case... whatever.

OCCUPATION:

- Another thing I've been thinking about: My old job. This is one of those days when I kinda wish I were still seam-welding pieces of sheet metal. I used to run a machine where I welded together 42" tall round sections of (mostly) 20 gauge stainless steel to make chimney sections. It was pretty repetitive; it involved a fair amount of manual labor - even though the machine was actually doing the welding; but it wasn't a bad job.

You know, I almost feel like I made more of a difference for the kingdom when I was a welder than I do as a pastor. I just feel like I don't really do anything anymore. But when I worked in a factory, I was also on the church council, I helped with the junior high group, I was a Sunday School teacher, I was in a Bible Study at church, Jane and I had a small group every Friday night in our home, and I was constantly talking to people about Jesus and inviting them to church and doing things for people, and so on and so on.

I guess I just don't think one's occupation really has all that much to do with the extent of one's ministry. I think my kids (and most people in high school and college) are all worried about "what they're going to do." And I just don't think the job we choose really matters all that much. It's more the kind of person you become; it's how you do your job; how you interact with others; stuff like that.

Some days I really wish I could go back to the factory. But... I also remember my last year there... When I felt like I was supposed to go to seminary and I said "no." It was a bad year. So the important thing isn't what you do - it's doing what you feel the Holy Spirit wants you to do. And that may or may not have anything to do with your occupation.

Sorry for the long post. More later.

Monte Montgomery: Little Wing acoustic instrumental

I'm not familiar with this guy, but I saw this on Mark Riddle's blog and... I'm a sucker for guitar-playing like this; and a sucker for beat up old acoustic guitars making a sound like this. I also love this Hendrix song.

What it means to blog...

(From my archives - since I can't think of anything to say). This is my revision of a quote from Bruce Thielemann, former dean of the chapel at Grove City College. He used the words "pulpit" and "preach" instead of "blog":

The blog calls those anointed to it as the sea calls its sailors. And like the sea it batters and bruises and does not rest. To blog, to really blog, is to die naked a little at a time, and to know each time you do it that you are going to do it again.

Routine

After having been gone for much of two weeks, it kind of takes awhile to get back into the routine of things. Small things like getting up and making the coffee, checking emails, brushing the teeth. Not to mention the routine of work - which, for me, consists largely of getting ready for our Sunday worship gathering and various things throughout the week.

As I was getting ready yesterday morning, I began to think about the "routine" of Sunday worship. You hear a lot of people complain about how "church" shouldn't be about rituals or traditions; we shouldn't just 'go-through-the-motions'; and that sort of thing. But on the other hand... is it all wrong? I mean, having been away from the 'routine' for two weeks, I was rather discombobulated. But as people started gathering for worship yesterday, I began to feel a certain... comfort. It was like, "yes, this is what I needed."

I agree, our worship shouldn't become a mundane 'going-through-the-motions.' But I don't know that 'routine' is so bad. Isn't that the basis for much of our faith: the routine of going over 'the story'; the routine of communion, baptism, feetwashing; the routine of Scripture reading and recitation; the routine of prayer; the routine of gathering together with one another; etc.? Perhaps "rhythm" is a better word. Are these the sort of rhythm's our life was meant to have? Yes, I think so. Like waking, and eating, and exercise, and sleep... prayer, communion, fellowship, Word.

Anyway... it was nice to be back among our friends. It was nice to worship God together. This 'community' thing of His was a good idea. 'Relationships' are a good idea too. God is good.

Peace, friends. Revolution(ate).

I Can't Drive...

FIFTY FIVE!

Yep, I have the same problem as Sammy Hagar... but right now I'm afraid I can't drive period. I am beat. I've driven somewhere around 2400 miles in the last twelve days. That's wayyyyy too much for this puppy. I rolled back to the ole' homestead this afternoon, and am anxiously awaiting Jane's return tomorrow. It's been a rough couple of weeks.

It's weird... it just kinda seems like when someone close to you dies, everything should stop. But life rolls along. And there's this weird intersection where the stopped "you" meets the moving "world" and... it's a funny feeling.

Well, I think I'm unpacked; I have the mail piles separated; the dog is asleep in front of the door; I have located where the antifreeze is leaking from the car; clothes are in the wash... Now that I've sat down, I think I'm done. Somebody needs to turn me over.

More later, friends. Peace. Revolu... (yeah).

She's gone home

Jane's mom, Sarah Pratt, passed away around 12:30 this afternoon. She went very peacefully. Much of the family was there (Jane and 3 brothers, plus several grandchildren. One son is still enroute from Colorado). She was a devout Christian woman and her husband, Allen, passed away 25 years ago. I don't know if we'll know one another in heaven, but if so... they are most assuredly having one whale of a reunion today.

FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS:
Visitation will be at Bunker Hill Church of God, 322 School St., Buda, IL on Wednesday from 5-8 pm. The funeral will also be at Bunker Hill - Thursday at 10 am.

This was a tough time for Jane, but this really is for the best. Sarah has been in pain for quite some time with arthritis. God bless her.

peace.

Just needed to blog

It is 10:27 pm and I am sitting at the hospital computer again. I drove back to Illinois yesterday. Couldn't wait until Saturday. Me, Jane, and nephew Tim spent the night in the waiting room last night. I actually got quite a bit of sleep - even though it was in a chair and in my clothes and you can't turn this one stinking bright light off.

Carrie and Isaac got here this afternoon. We hung around the hospital for awhile, then drove up to Buda to visit with my parents, have a nice home-cooked meal for a change, and sleep in a bed. After supper I had one of those rotten-ass migraine headaches. At about 8 pm Jane's brother called and said things were not good with Sarah again and we might want to get down to the hospital. We high-tailed it down here, came to the waiting room, and Jane's brother's small group is having a little party here in the waiting room. Hmm. It was really nice of them to come and visit and all, but... I dunno... I'm just not in the mood to laugh and carry on and visit, ya know. So... I decided it was a good time to blog.

I will miss being at church tomorrow with my "small group." I feel bad for Robin (not robin-the-foot-pic, but Robin-who-will-do-everything-for-me-tomorrow). Not only am I gone, but Scott is gone this Sunday, and I have a retired pastor coming to fill in for me, and our back-up piano player is going to be gone. So... it will be singing with no instruments, and whatever else happens. I'm sure it will be fine though. I have a small church, and we might not be real intellectual or the greatest of Christians, but... we're "real." I like that.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
- For some reason I keep being reminded of my wedding night. A friend of mine - Bill Zimmerman - sang a song for Jane and I at the reception: Southern Cross by CSN. I don't know why I keep thinking of that.

- The Chaplains at Methodist Hospital are FANTASTIC. There are two that are full-time (apparently). They seem to know just what to say, just when to say it, and just how to say it. A good example... yesterday, when Sarah was having a spell, Jane had to leave the room and was just standing there. The chaplain just came and said, "I don't have anything to say, but I'll just be right here." That was so cool. And he just stood there. Didn't butt in; didn't try to 'explain anything'; didn't say everything would be fine. He just stood there with her. Angelic.

I'm tired. My head is killing me. But thanks for being here, Lord. Thanks for being here.

Sarah's blood pressure has dropped, and they can't up the meds anymore. It's not looking real good. Looks like we will be sleeping in the waiting room again tonight. If you're reading... thanks for hanging around.

Peace, friends. The revolution has many faces.

FYI

I am in Indiana. Jane is in Illinois. There have been a few positive signs from Sarah - yesterday she opened her eyes; squeezed Jane's hand; blinked when asked. But it didn't last too long.

I spent my birthday going from Peoria to Buda, then Buda back to Fort Wayne. Got home and had a Tombstone pizza - which was not necessarily a bad birthday supper, except it was pepperoni, and I HATE pepperoni. Oh well, the fitting end to my day.

I will likely be heading back to Illinois tomorrow. And... btw, dear... I did find my birthday present. :) Thanks! I will be listening to "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb" at some point today.

Peace.

Happy Birthday To Me

I am 44 years old now. I slept in the damn waiting room last night, and almost killed a bunch of people. I've got a headache. Not that I'm complainin' or anything.

Some people just have no consideration for others though, ya know. Me, Jane, her brother Mark and his wife and son (Tim) were all trying to sleep in the waiting room last night, and there was one other family group in here. Man... they had the tv just BLARING loud, their phone must have rang 100 times, and they talked extremely loud on the phone and to one another, they ordered a stinkin' pizza at MIDNIGHT, and you'da thought it was New Year's Freakin' Eve the way they were laughin' and carryin' on. They finally left at 3:30 this morning! They were asked to turn the tv down, and I tried turning the lights down, but apparently it has to be BRIGHT, BRIGHT, BRIGHT in here.

So... I'm a little cranky this morning (you couldn't tell, could ya?). Other than that... just waitin' around.

UPDATE ON SARAH:
Sarah came through the 4-hour surgery okay. Her heart is working fine. The main problem now is that she hasn't woken up yet. They don't know yet if there was brain damage, or if it's just taking her awhile to wake up. There have been good signs, in that she is a bit more responsive than she originally was. She has moved her feet, and moves them when touched now. She also has pupil activity - which they say is good. So it's not like she's brain dead. It's just... sit around and wait.

This is not exactly how I envisioned spending my birthday, but then again... at least I'm not depressed like I am on most birthdays. It hasn't really even bothered me this year.

Presents? Well, Jane bought me something, but it's in Indiana. I "think" it is probably U2's "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb". That's what I asked for. There was also a nice Martin acoustic/electric guitar that I had had my eye on... but that would just be silly. :) (Really, I am not expecting that - it costs WAYYYY to much. But I go in and dream about it now and then). So, what I hope I get for my birthday is: an end to the war in Iraq; for Sarah to wake up today; for Carrie & Isaac to know that they are loved; for Jane and I to live a long life together; and... oh, heck, I dunno, maybe a few naps here-and-there today would be nice.

Peace, friends. Revolution(ate). God is good.

Change of Plans

Well, we never did leave the hospital today. As I was writing the previous post, Jane came and got me and told me "something happened." It turns out that Sarah was just talking away, feeling fine, then all of a sudden had another heart attack. So, they rushed her into surgery and did 3-bypasses. They were hoping to avoid surgery, since she is 81, but... here we are. It's been a long day, but things seem to be going okay so far. Thanks to all who have been lifting up Sarah, Jane, and her brothers in prayer.

The Waiting Room Blues

Here I am again in the 5th floor waiting room at Methodist hospital. I see a lot of the same people every day. Though most of us don't really speak to one another... we just give knowing kinda glances now and then; respect one another's space; and are slowly learning what tv shows we have in common (and not), how much space we need, and how we SHOULDN'T HOG THE COMPUTER CORNER. Some people think this is a place to sit and hide out - much to my dismay. :)

But... all in all, it's a nice waiting room as far as hospital waiting rooms go. There are two tv sets - though there is SO MUCH crap on during the day. I have watched too much Montel, Judge Judy, infomercials, and soap opera's. If the room clears of awake people, I will turn one to ESPN sometimes, but it soon seems to be changed. Sometimes I wish they weren't even there. I'm not used to all this noise every day.

Mostly I just sleep or read "Jesus Creed." Every now and then I'll take a stroll down the hall. One day I walked around outside, but it's COLD today. Dad said the water was frozen in the horse tank this morning.

Jane just came and said they ARE going to boot Sarah out of the hospital today - even though she can't walk or get out of bed by herself - but her heart thing is over. There is a nice caseworker who is trying to arrange for her to go to a nursing home - at least temporarily. They're wanting to put the other stint in within the next few weeks. Apparently her troulbe breathing isn't from the blockage so much as being anemic. So they're trying to address that right now. But she feels okay. Just short of breath and real weak.

So, I guess I better go snag a recliner, get another free cup of coffee, and read a little. Sounds like we'll be leaving here this afternoon. I can't say that I will miss the one hour drives each way between Buda and Peoria. I can't imagine driving an hour one way each day to work. My sister does that. Ugh.

Side note: Had to pull over alongside the road on the way home last night so Jane could throw up. Don't know what was up with that. I think stress maybe. She got sick again when we got back to my parents, but she felt fine this morning. Of course this was after Carrie and I got cut off 3 times trying to have a phone conversation. We finally gave up. It's just fun all over. :)

I hope life is grand for everyone. One of these days I'll rejoin the real world. Heck, and I almost forgot that tomorrow is my birthday. Yippee!

later.