U23D

Jane and I went to the new U2 movie last night. Bogey just wanted to wear the 3D glasses when we got home and act all Bono-like. That's kinda how he is.

This was an awesome show. I mean, I've been a U2 fan since before they were an "acceptable" Christian band. I bought their albums before *I* was even a Christian. I've always liked their music. But seeing them in concert in 3D is just wild. And it's basically just them playing their songs. Very minimal crowd interaction or agendized rants. I was actually hoping there would be more. But it was good. It only lasts 1 hr. 20 minutes. And there were only 10 of us in the theater. I did have one complaint though - and I don't know if it's the movie or this particular theater - but the music wasn't near loud enough. I mean, if they're going to make it look like you're at a concert (which they do), it would be nice to make it feel like you're at a concert. I want to feel it in my chest, you know.

Anyway, I don't know if they can do the 3D thing on dvd or not, so I highly recommend seeing the movie (even though it was like $10.50 a ticket). And if you like U2, don't leave when the credits start rolling, because they do "Yahweh" as a closer. All told, it's almost as cool as a dog who wears sunglasses.

The voice in between

From Mark Labberton's article "Between Failure and Fraud" in the winter 2008 issue of Leadership magazine.

I tried to respond gently to the outspoken critic in my office. "You are more right than you know," I told her. "I don't have many of the qualities of a gifted pastor. But you have the wrong list of deficiencies. The real list is far worse. God knows the real list, and God, by his grace, has still called me to be a pastor."

And at the end of the article:

My life swings between the voices calling "failure" and "fraud." The key is not listening to either. I'm not as bad as my critics accuse me of being, but I'm not as good as I've led some to believe. And right there, in the truth somewhere in between, is where we hear the voice of God. He still says to me, and to everyone called to follow Jesus, "I want you and I will use you."

Wow, I can't imagine that Mark Labberton struggles with the same things I do. May you lead me to the truth in between, Lord, so I can hear your voice.

The pastor's responsibility

I originally called this post "Auditioning For Congregants." It was going to read as follows:

I've been thinking of starting a new church that will take the world by storm. Anyone interested in joining, please contact me. We can set up an appointment to meet where you should be prepared to answer these questions: What is your talent; what will you contribute to our group; why should we let you join; and just what makes you think you're so stinkin' special anyway? Please leave a comment below with your name, telephone number, and email address if you would like an audition.

Of course I was being sarcastic (it's my gift, you know). I don't really even know what I was thinking about. I guess sometimes I think I get tired of hearing about how church needs to always be about DOING something. And, I know, the church doesn't do near as much as it should - we have been irresponsible, lazy, and self-centered. But I think many people are like that because they've never allowed God to DO SOMETHING inside THEM. That's why I like Eugene Peterson so much. I started re-reading his book "Working The Angles: The Shape of Pastoral Integrity." I AM a pastor, after all; and I think integrity is somewhat important (and not just for pastors).

On the very first page he jumps right in with this: "American Pastors are abandoning their posts, left and right, and at an alarming rate. They are not leaving their churches and getting other jobs... But they are abandoning their posts, their calling. They have gone whoring after other gods..."

Gulp. Um... yeah... I remember this now.

Page 2 has this awesome quote that I think sums up so much of the problem. Too many people (again, pastors and non-pastors) want to be part of a "successful" church, and it just ain't gonna happen. Eugene says:

The biblical fact is that there are no successful churches. There are, instead, communities of sinners, gathered before God week after week in towns and villages all over the world. The Holy Spirit gathers them and does his work in them. In these communities of sinners, one of the sinners is called pastor and given a designated responsibility in the community. The pastor's responsibility is to keep the community attentive to God. It is this responsibility that is being abandoned in spades.

Hmm. Yeaaah. I really think this is what I've been missing. What so many churches are missing. Even the one's trying to have an impact in the world - too often it's of our own doing; rather than being attentive to God and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us.

I used to have this friend who would always ask, "So what's God been saying to you lately?" Sometimes it made me real uncomfortable - because I hadn't really been paying attention. But it always made me start thinking about it. So... what's God been saying to you lately?

It's her birthday!!!

Today is me-lovely lady Jane's birthday. You can wish her a happy one by leaving a comment on her blog: Radical Hope. (go ahead, I dare ya)

She is truly a saint for putting up with me all these years. Our first date was actually early March 1981 (I think it was March 2nd). I took her out for her birthday. We went to a volleyball game in Tampico, Illinois (anyone know what U.S. President was born in this town?). Five months later we were engaged to be married.

Happy birthday, dear. I love you!!! :)

Hiroshima crawl

I ended up driving down to see my favorite scream band in all the world last night - Hiroshima Mon Amour. I wasn't sure if the weather was going to cooperate, but it was alright for the trip down. The trip home was a different story.

Anyway, I didn't realize it was HMA's cd release show. Good thing I brought money, so I could buy two copies. They put on a great show - even though they hadn't played for four months. It says on their myspace that they don't just want people to listen to their music, they want you to FEEL it. Man, they do that. And I don't know that it's just because I'm the father of one of their members, but there is just an energy that builds up to the start of their shows and... then... all... of... a... sudden...... THEY JUMP DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!! It's hard to contain my grin when they're playing. :) Sometimes people will describe a band as "tight." That is definitely a good way to describe them. The core (Isaac, Aaron, and Graham) have played together since 7th grade.

The evening actually started well too. Start time was scheduled for 7 pm, but I've been around long enough to know we could get there at 7:30 and not miss anything. Some douche bag named ANDREW CAMP opened. Hahahaha. He's not really a douche bag - that's an inside joke. He called son Isaac that from the stage, and was terribly embarrassed later on. :) Actually, Andrew was really, really, really good. I like his style, voice, and strum. And he didn't even have his band.

The next band - Banana Seat Project - was a jam band that reminded me of hanging out at a Jesus People thing. They were good, but... you know, honestly it went a bit long. My opinion on jam bands is this: start out doing a long jam, but every now and then break into something everyone knows, just to give our minds a break. I wasn't real impressed with how they ended and exited though, but... whatever.

When I left at 10:20 I was not prepared for the trip home. It started snowing pretty hard, and not long after getting on I-69 North everything came to a screeching halt. The semi in front of me AND the one behind me both started going sideways when we tried to slow down. Eventually everyone got stopped, and there was a semi jack-knifed in the road on the other side just ahead of us. It came from our side though. So we went about 20 mph for a long, long time. We saw 4 semi's on their side in all. We were never stopped for long, but the other side was in a couple of places. In 62 miles of interstate we never got over 50 mph the rest of the way home though. So what should have been an hour trip was actually an hour and 45 minutes (Shelly, did you make it home alright? Jim and I worried about you all the way).

At any rate, it was worth it. A good night last night was. Well done, son. And Andrew, Austin, Aaron, Graham, and Joel too.

Looking good for jesus, but not at church

There are two articles I've been sitting on, not sure how to frame them for a post. It hit me today that they could be related.

The first one is about a cosmetics line in Singapore whose goal was to help us "Look good for Jesus" and "get tight with Christ." Some Christians complained and the company halted sales though. You can read the story HERE. What confuses me is... how could someone complain about marketing Christianity - haven't they ever been to a Christian "bookstore?"

The second article (HERE) is about a survey in the U.S. and how the religious landscape is in flux. Droves of people are leaving both Protestant and Catholic Christianity; some are switching churches; some just leaving altogether. I didn't really read anything that I didn't already know. Of course, I always forget that I'm probably considered an "insider."

So I'm wondering.... do you think there's a correlation between these two things? I mean, has the market-driven church created this exodus; or do we need more Christian cosmetics? Or do they have nothing to do with each other? I think a lot of people think the answer is to look good for Jesus but have nothing to do with the church. Not sure how that can happen since he says the church is his body. Maybe it's just being transformed into its more natural self. I dunno.

Tuesday ramble

I am feeling restless. I'm frustrated, and I'm not even sure what about. Not with church, or home. I think I'm frustrated with the lack of community in the church at large. There just seems to be so much animosity - whether it's between differing denominations, different churches, and even within my own denomination. I don't like it. Of course, then I always feel like I must be the one responsible for it.

I had an old retired pastor stop in Saturday morning. He was delivering something to me from someone else (another pastor, and my first thought was that this retired guy was having to do it because the one who should have didn't want to talk to me). I hate it when I get paranoid like this, but... what if it's true? I mean, I think the reason I am such an outcast in my "region" is because I'm seen as a loud-mouth malcontent. I've never been told that, but... I can sense it. I don't want people to think of me like that. I'm just difficult, ya know. Hey, it's hard for me to live with me. I know how they feel.

I don't know. It bums me out that I used to be involved in this great pastors group where five of us got together once a week and prayed and talked about the Bible and whatnot. And now it's just me and Tom, and all we do is complain about the fact that nobody will meet with us anymore. And I used to be involved in another blog where people (mostly pastors) shared stuff and talked about stuff and whatnot... and now no one talks anymore. I used to have a couple people in my church who always wanted to talk and get together to pray or whatever, and now I don't. So I sit here in my office, looking out the window at the snow falling, and it piles up all around. The dog lays in front of the door and pretends to be my best friend (sometimes).

I'm not really even depressed. I just have regrets, and questions, and... don't you wish sometimes that somebody would tell you what they really thought about you - only they could do it in a way that wouldn't come off as rude or smug?

Whatever. The other day at Lowe's the saleslady asked me if anyone had ever told me I looked just like Arnold Swartzeneger (sp? The gov of California). Actually, someone has told me that before. I don't really see it, but.... you know, I do have these gunboats for arms. Hahaha. Anyway... that has nothing to do with anything. But at least someone talked to me. Maybe I should go to Lowe's.

Although, that reminds me, the other day I went to Walmart. I was leaving and I just had two small bags, so I was going to leave my cart in the area inside the doors (rather than take it to the parking lot and leave it in a parking space like most of the carts are there). I grabbed my bags and began to merrily walk out the door - thinking I was such a nice guy and all - and this old bag masquerading as a greeter starts yelling at me; telling me "THAT'S NOT WHERE THAT GOES!" She huffed past me and yanks the cart around. I didn't even know she was talking to me at first. Anyway, stuff like that stays with me for days. It impacted my day. I wish I had been Arnold, and then I'da been able to toss Grandma Grump down the candy aisle right into the photo section. I supposed it's a good thing I'm me.

I am restless. There are days like this, you know. Days and sometimes years. I wish it would stop snowing. I wanted to go to Anderson tonight and see Isaac's band play. Hmm.

Eeyore at the helm

So... I'm reading this article by John Ortberg on Hope Management. I have always liked reading John's books and articles and listening to his sermons. I wish I knew him - or even someone like him - someone who was positive and upbeat and hopeful. In the article he says optimism is the one responsibility no leader should delegate. The quote that sorta got to me was:

"...when Eeyore is at the helm, the whole ship is in trouble. Eeyore may be the most intelligent, gifted, attractive, educated, credentialed person in the room. But if he or she is easily deflated, sensitive to defeat and criticism, and de-motivated by setbacks, the whole community begins the long slow spiral downward."

By no means do I think I am ever the most intelligent, gifted, etc. person in a room.... but I'm also not at all hopeful most of the time. In fact, the truth is: I am most likely the problem in our church. I am too easily deflated, too sensitive to defeat and criticism, and too de-motivated by setbacks. It's no one else's responsibility, and it is entirely my fault. I don't say that out of pity or a false sense of humility... I say it as a confession of sin. It's true. I am the most negative person I know, and I hate it. I hate it! I don't want to be this way.

I confess it to you, Lord, and ask you to forgive me. And to empower me, refresh me; and give to me a new heart and a new hope.

Amen.

Church mapping books: emergent, emerging, evangelical

Scot McKnight has a post listing three new books that apparently give a good view of the landscape from evangelical to emerging to emergent. The books are: The New Christians by Tony Jones (emergent); The New Conspirators by Tom Sine (emerging); and How to Be Evangelical Without Being Conservative by Roger Olson (evangelical).

They all sound good, so... maybe by the time they're outdated my current pile of books will be at a level to where I can buy them.

My kinda church

I was perusing the net for worship ideas (occasionally I find something worth stealing) and I stumbled onto the UCF Sunday Service - Order of Worship. You really need to click on it and give it a read. It is hilarious! Also check out their Frequently Asked Questions page. Hehe. I wish it wasn't all the way in Syracuse, NY or I'd go visit just for fun sometime.

Into the wild

We saw this movie at the dollar theater last night. I still don't really know what to say. It kinda sucks the wind right outta ya. Powerful-good-terrible all at the same time (not that it's a terrible movie - not at all) . My kinda movie. Eddie Vetter does the music. For the nuts and bolts, son Isaac has a review here.

Things that came to mind while watching it:

• These words were stuck in my head throughout the whole movie for some reason: "The painful innocence of beauty." I don't know what it means or why I kept thinking it, but... it was there.
• Also, a line the main character wrote: "Happiness is real only when shared." Hmm. Seems sometimes our dreams can imprison us no matter what they are. The importance of finding our way into God's story, maybe.
  
• And, of course you know I was teary-eyed through most of this movie (if you've seen it, and you know me, you know why), but part of it was because it was like going home to me. It just reminded me so much of home and the people I knew there. I also thought a lot about part of why I went to seminary was because I wanted to start a church for those people, and somehow here I am....
  

Powerful movie. Nothing more to say.

funny and sad

I saw this cartoon from xkcd on Jim's blog. I thought it was really funny. I don't know why it is that some people feel so obligated to point out when they don't agree with someone else. Especially on the internet. I mean, like, if you come across something that you don't like or don't agree with... there's a little "x" in the top, right corner, and if you click on it the whole thing goes away. But I know people who are like this in person too. Anything you mention, and they'll point out everything they don't like about it. Like if you're reading a book, why is it that some people will only discuss what they don't like about it, rather than trying to find something they can learn from it? My philosophy is - I can probably learn something from just about anybody and everybody. But that's me. I have a lot to learn. Some people seem to think they just have a lot to teach. (And apparently I feel the need to tell them they're wrong. Ugh). In an unrelated thought - I might not get outta the bathrobe today.

Tanning, pics and eclipses

Okay, you can go ahead and make fun of me: I used a tanning bed for the first time in my life yesterday. Ugh. Jane MADE me do it! Actually, I suppose it does make sense to get a little tan before going on our trip. I've made the mistake of getting burned to a crisp on the first day before, and it's not any fun. I want this to be an enjoyable vacation. But lemme tell ya... this tanning bed thing FREAKED ME OUT!!! I had asked a bazillion questions beforehand, but I was NOT prepared for the real thing. I've never had an MRI either, but I gotta think it's about the same. When I pulled the door down and hit the "on" button I felt like Michael J. Fox when he hits the guitar standing in front of that giant amp in Back To The Future. BZZZZZZZZZZ!!! I think I burned my retinas - I can't even see your face! But I suppose I'll do it again. The things we do for love.

We also went to another camera seminar last night at Mitchell Books. This one was a little better than the first one, but I still felt stupid. They say they're going over the basics, but I just don't know the lingo. I suppose it's like a person coming to church for the first time. I need to remember that. Jane came home and put the training to use with our in-house model, so I'll include some of her pics at the bottom, or you can go to her blog and see some too.

And did you see the Lunar Eclipse last night? It was awesome. It was just starting when we came out of class, and the night was so beautifully clear. We went out several times and froze our toes. Jane got this pic of it at about 9:30 pm.

The reluctant model

The challenge of church leadership

The other day Scot McKnight posed an interesting question on his blog. He asked:

"What was the biggest change of perspective from the time you were anticipating and reading about pastoring in seminary (if you went that route) and to, say, 2-3 years after you had been pastoring?"

It's funny, because I had actually been thinking about this (kind of). I had been thinking about how so many people seem to know exactly what churches, and church leaders, and pastors ought to be doing, and they write and write and talk about it.... And, you know, I would love to be able to read all the latest books, attend all the cool conferences, blog all kinds of interesting thoughts, study the Bible for hours and hours, map out my theological position on every little thing, but..... I just don't have time. And I'm glad there are people who can do these things, but there are just too many people involved and too many things that need done for me (as a small church pastor) to be able to do all that.

Anyway, I thought this comment left on Scot's blog pretty much summed it up. Erik said:

The biggest change for me is that the ideas and theology have faces, names, and a story to which I must now attend, rather than just making sure my theology is properly stated. Its messier, with probably the same amount of questions, just less easy answers.

Yep. And I don't know that that's a bad thing.

4 miles

Usually I run/jog around 3 to 3.5 miles on the treadmill, 4 or 5 days a week. Tonight Jane had class so I thought I'd see if I could make it 4 miles. It's been a couple of years since I've done that. And that was when I used to run outside (which I don't do anymore 'cause I'm scared of dogs and it's too doggone hard). So I went nice and easy (4.5 mph), with a minimal .5 incline, and even though it took me almost a flipping hour - I did it! Ended up at 60 minutes for 4.28 miles and burned 529 calories.

I suppose I should take a shower now.

Tommy, martin, preachers and singers

I need to find someone to preach for two Sundays in April. Any good ideas???

I also need to start working on scheduling some concerts and such at the pavilion this summer. I was lookin' at my idol Tommy Womack's schedule and see he's swinging through Ohio in early June. I'm thinking about seeing if he'd be interested in doing an outdoor church gig on Sunday night, June 8. But... I have to admit... I dunno how Tommy would feel about playin at a church, and I don't know if this would be pushin the envelope a bit much or not. Hmm. Whadda you think?

Anyways, I found this videa of Tommy singing a song called "Martin Luther." Very cool.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFg-2kLSlks

Are we done - the myth of leaderless church

Yesterday during our worship gathering someone had a small child who, at the end of each song/prayer/whatever, would say loud enough for everyone to hear, “Are we done?” I thought it was cute the first time…. But pretty soon it started to be quite the little distraction. And I know there were probably some adults who were thinking the same thing, but I also believe there are many people who really want to worship God, to sense the Holy Spirit's presence, and learn and grow, and they (as well as the kingdom) truly do benefit from our gathering together each week.

As a church leader perhaps I am over-sensitive to all the talk in the blogosphere about *leaderless churches.* If I were a better blogger I would cite a few examples, but… I’m not. And I suppose everyone has their own definition, but I think what most people mean by “leaderless church” is a church where no one tells them what to do. You know, “Why can’t we all just get together and talk about God and follow Jesus in community and everything will be peachy keen cool.”

Hey, I’m all for not having to tell anyone what to do. That would be great. But…. What freakin’ planet do you live on?!? I mean, do you really think you can get a group of people together and things are just going to *happen*? My experience is – there are people just waiting to pounce on opportunities to make things all about THEM. People who want to dominate conversations, who want to air their dirty laundry, who lack social and emotional skills and the maturity needed to keep things from deteriorating into a demonized demolition derby. “Are we done?”

I have led and attended way too many gatherings where one or two people have done more than just create a distraction - they’ve derailed the group entirely. And it’s always funny, because what often happens in those situations is…. the very people who complain about leadership are often the ones demanding “Why doesn’t somebody do something?!?” You know, “I don’t want anyone telling ME what to do, but would you please tell THEM what to do.”

I guess my point is: I don’t think leaderless church is the answer; I think we need better leaders. By *better* I mean humble servants who not only have the spiritual gift of leadership, but the humility and character to lead from a heart surrendered to Jesus Christ.

Let’s face it, there are some terrible leaders in some of our churches. I don’t know that it means the church is beyond hope (I don’t believe we could kill it if we tried). But I also know there are some good leaders out there – young and old – and we need for them to step forward. In order for good leaders to be developed it’s also going to take some good followers to step forward. People who will give them half a chance, who will encourage rather than tear down, who will offer to help rather than hinder, who will listen rather than trying to manipulate and control.

We are NOT done yet, my friends. But we can’t just idle along and *hope* things turn out. No, we press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus (Ph. 3:14).

So…. GO!

Sunday clothes system

I usually dress up for our Sunday worship gatherings. That means I wear a button shirt, docker-type pants, and either my black or brown shoes. I've never worn a suit, and I detest neckties, but I think it's important for me to at least be presentable since I will be up in front of people. However, the other six and three-quarter days of the week I go strictly casual (r-e-a-l-l-y casual). So this has always presented a problem of sorts for me: how do I remember what I wear from Sunday to Sunday? Sometimes I worry that I will wear the same thing two weeks in a row and people might start to talk (well, I don't know how worried I am about this, but it could happen). So after eight and a half years of strategizing... I think I've finally found a system. I don't usually have to wash the pants after each wearing, so when I've worn a pair I'll simply hang them closest to the shirts (pants are on the left, shirts on the right). That way I know which ones I wore last, and so forth. I do usually have to wash my shirts after one wearing, so today I got the idea that I just won't iron them until all have been worn. Then, when I'm outta shirts, I'll iron up a storm and start all over again.

Sounds like a plan.

Happenings

I'm slowly starting to come out of the funk I've been in for the last couple weeks. Just weighted down by "stuff." Hopefully I'll feel more like blogging in awhile. Although I haven't really had a meaningful post in quite some time anyway. Whatever.

Friday me-lady and I both had the day off and we went to the wonderfully wet city of Findlay, Ohio. We stopped in at Winebrenner Seminary and had lunch with daughter Carrie and some of the staff there. The president of the school stopped and chatted with us too. Talk about a leader. He's one of those guys who always seems to know what to say; never says anything bad about anyone; and makes you feel better for having talked to him. And he always prays for us. I like that. Anyway, we brought Carrie's car home - it was just fixed again and I want to make sure it's fixed for good before she scoots across state lines too many more times.

Last night we wanted to see a movie, but we're waiting for Juno to go to the dollar theater, waiting for the U2 movie to come out, and Into The Wild hasn't come out on video yet. So we just went out for supper and dinked around.

This morning our church hosted the Men's Lenten Breakfast. We are in a group of six churches and every year the guys get together for breakfast and a short devotion on the six Saturdays of Lent. Attendance varies from 20-30, and we were on the low side today. We have a great group of guys from our church that always turn out. And when we host it, they take care of all the food. They know I don't know anything about kitchen stuff (other than making coffee). I did the devotion and just used a free dvd I'd gotten from Promise Keepers several years ago and we discussed it. I always look forward to these six Saturdays. I wish there were more who did besides me. They only take about an hour. I sat with the mayor of New Haven and had a good visit. He is also pastor of a small Methodist church and a single parent. Great guy.

Well, tonight we're going out to eat with Carrie & Drew, Isaac & Laura, and Laura's parents. Her parents are picking us up in 10 minutes. Should be kinda fun - although I hope Drew's not too mad at me about my IU comments. =)

Peace, friends.

IU basketball

My thoughts on the situation involving Kelvin Sampson and the Indiana University basketball team can be summed up in one word: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I actually do have quite a few friends who are IU fans, and I feel bad for them. But... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I just can't stop laughing. The athletic director wanted a high-profile coach - he got his wish. Sampson and Greenspan should both be canned; all games should be forfeited for this year (because I believe one Eric Gordon was the recipient of some of those improper calls); no postseason for two additional years; and strip two more scholarships plus the one already removed for next year. And PLEASE spare me the talk of how great Bobby Knight was. He was nothing but a big bully.

Bwahahahahahahahahaahaha!!!!!!!!

Who I think should be president

I haven't felt much like blogging lately, but Tom has a good post about the upcoming presidential election. I know next to nothing about politics, but he said what I was thinking (even though I maybe didn't know it at the time). A snippet:

I want a visionary leader. Someone once said that a visionary leader leads people to a promised land that they never knew existed. I like that. We're talking about visionary here, not someone who takes us where we think we want to go but someone who can take us to a good place where we will be glad to be even if we don't know exactly what that is yet.

Sometimes

I had to go to the post office this morning to buy stamps (I went twice yesterday and it was closed both times). I had to take the truck because Carrie has our good car again, and it wouldn't start. I knew it wasn't the battery, so I got my big screwdriver and touched the two bolt things together on - I think it's the celenoid. It worked. Yesterday it had two flat tires when I went to get in it. It's snowing and blowing and stinkin cold.

It's days like this that I sometimes wish I still worked at the chimney factory. I would have either walked to work or rode my bike. Punched in. Meandered through sheets and coils of steel back to the DW department. Turned on my machine. Said my hellos. Checked my paperwork and leaned on my seam welder for awhile until I got my bearings together. Usually someone would come and lean on it with me - my machine was good for leaning on and a frequent meeting spot. Eventually I would have started welding together sections of 20 ga. stainless steel. They were mostly either 42", 30", or 18" tall. They were rolled in various diameters from 6" up to 48". I welded the seam down the length, then double welded each end about an inch in because after I was done they got a 7/16" 90 degree flange on each end. The worst part of it was having to wear a welding helmet and the fumes; and I had to wear long sleeves year-round or else my arms would break out (I must have been allergic to the fumes).

If there was nothing rolled up and ready to weld I would sometimes cut the steel off the coils (which was one of my first jobs there), or roll the sections if they had already been cut (this took two people), or if I had elbow or "t" parts I would have to trim a half inch off of each end before rolling and then welding, or.... well, sometimes, honestly, I would just stand and lean on my machine or I would have to go find something to keep me occupied (like hiding in the basement). My supervisor didn't care what we did as long as we got our orders out on time and the boss upstairs didn't come down and catch us standing around doing nothing.

At break time I would sit with Richard, Tom and Vick and drink coffee, eat either a pop tart or a blueberry hostess pie, and we would talk about what we did the night before or something like that. We sat at the coil line cutting table. In the summer the big door would be open behind us, and if there wasn't a train parked there we would look across the tracks at the old depot. In the winter we could only run the furnace a little bit at a time, so we would have to run it until it was unbearably hot, and then let it cool down until it was unbearably cold, then turn it back on until it was hot again. All day long every day. That was worse than in the summer when it was mostly just unbearably hot all the time.

It probably wasn't the greatest place to work, but at the end of the day I knew I had made a contribution to something.

Yep, sometimes I wish I still worked there.

Monday

I'm a little tired today, but not near as bad as I thought I might be. I tried to watch what I ate, I forced myself to keep my running schedule for the week, but it might have more to do with the number of people who were praying for the situation. And when I say that, believe me, I know that my part in the whole wedding/funeral things was nothing compared to others, but I'm not too proud to admit that I wasn't in need too. So, "thanks," to all of you who have been praying.

THE WEDDING
It was a beautiful wedding if I do say so myself. For early February it was a nice day - about 40 degrees when we arrived. It was actually nice to be at someone else's church, because I didn't have to set up or tear down or worry about the music or anything like that. And their sound guy was fantastic. Little things like that can make all the difference in the world (to me). Plus the wedding party were all pretty mature and experienced at "wedding stuff." It's also a HUGE help having my lovely wife there to do most of the organizing and getting people lined up and on schedule, etc. This was probably the biggest wedding I've done as far as the number of people in attendance, but I really don't think I even broke a sweat. I surprised myself.

THE FUNERAL
The funeral went well also. They had two days of visitation at the funeral home (2-7 each day), and I had heard there was something like 2500 visitors the first day. The second day was almost as bad/good. So they ended up moving the funeral service to the high school gymnasium. That was definitely a good idea. I don't know how many were there - maybe 500-800, but it was without a doubt the largest funeral I had been involved in. I was actually surprisingly calm for this too (at least in my mind). Again, it helped that there were soooo many other people who were involved and I only played a very small part.

The actual service at the school lasted about an hour. The hardest part of any funeral is that last time the family gets to see the deceased. In this case, the family stayed and watched them close the casket. It's been my experience that they don't usually do it when the family is present. No one was going to argue though. I simply do not even want to think about what I would do in that situation.

There was a huge, long line of cars going to the cemetery - which surprised me too because it was single-digit temperatures. Man was it cold. So it was very brief there. And people didn't linger long afterwards.

The only real problem during the day was at the end of the committal service I invited everyone back to the funeral dinner. I had thought that was the plan, but I was quickly told that there wasn't enough room for everyone. Oops. I felt terrible, but at that point there was nothing that could be done. In spite of a few rankled old ladies it seemed to work out fine anyway. Jane and I didn't eat anything though - just in case they were short on food.

SUNDAY MORNING
I decided early last week that I couldn't go with the message I had planned to preach for this Sunday. I tried a few alternatives, but ended up just showing a movie instead. We had actually watched it several years ago, but I figured there are enough new people that many wouldn't have seen it, and even those who had should see it again. It's a 30-minute video called The Journey Home To Love. I really like this piece. If you go to their site (The Father's Love Letter) you can watch a clip of it, read the letter, or listen to it. I highly recommend at least reading The Father's Love Letter - which is a compilation of Bible verses from both the Old & New Testaments that are presented in the form of a love letter from God to the world. It's what the video is based on. I made copies for people to take home (we have had one on our fridge for several years), but I think the movie is just really powerful. I had hoped to have time at the end to give people an opportunity to respond, but I went over and I needed to hurry to get to the funeral. I guess that's how it goes.

Well, I'm not sure what's in store this week, but I hope it's not anything like last week. Again, I can't say enough how much I appreciated all the comments, emails, and prayers.

Peace out; peace in.

Water, water, everywhere

I snapped these pics the other day. The water wasn't at its highest, but it's gone down from this a bit now. You know what they say... "When it rains it pours." And now it's all frozen. At least we're not stranded like Carrie. (click on the pics to enlarge them).

The view from the front door of the church building.

This is from the driveway at our house.

From the road in front of our house.

Weddings and funerals

I appreciate those of you who have left comments or sent emails or have been praying about the events I've been dealing with yesterday and today. I believe it really has helped me be able to help others. Thanks. There is a decent newspaper article HERE about the shooting (thanks to Carrie for pointing it out). I've probably talked to more people in the last two days than I usually do in two weeks (maybe months).

It's funny though... there are tons of books for ministers about weddings and funerals. Many of them are even carry the title "Handbook for Weddings & Funerals." It gives tips and tidbits of information and whatnot, and they're kinda handy to have around. But what strikes me as odd is how many times I have actually had a wedding and funeral on the same weekend. I didn't count, but I swear it's happened to me like five times. And this weekend I have a wedding on Saturday and this funeral on Sunday. I've never done a Sunday funeral before, but... what the heck. Why not, you know. At least the wedding is not at my church (so I don't have to be janitor and stuff too), and I'm just assisting with the funeral (it's not at my church either). The guy I'm doing the funeral with is one of those natural 'people persons' and he excels in all the areas where I lack - so it should work out well. At least as well as a funeral can work out.

Weddings and funerals are funny things in and of themselves too. I mean, I really dread having to do either one of them. Weddings can take a lot of preparation. And who ever wants to think about funerals. However, it is also an extreme honor and privilege to be involved in both events. Every time I plan out a wedding ceremony it moves my soul. They can be such beautiful occasions, and I always feel very good and hopeful and even somewhat proud walking a couple through their wedding. Funerals can be that way even more-so. I realize no one in their right mind is really listening during most funerals. But they are such holy moments. I wonder if there is anything holier, actually? When do that many people together think about God?

Anyway, if you're the praying type, I would appreciate them for me as well as those I will be ministering with, among, and to over these next several days. I pray that both events will be filled with such holiness that time will be altered; hearts and minds will be transfixed and transformed. That in the midst of joy there will be a deep soulful experience, and in the sorrow of silence there will be a contentment of hope and faith and a true sense of peace that surpasses all understanding for everyone involved.

Peace, my friends. Out and in.

Numb

This morning started out fairly normal. Then I had a message that the 18 year-old son of a couple in my church was being taken to the hospital. The boy lived with his mother and didn't attend our church, but I headed straight there nonetheless. I didn't find out until I arrived that he had been shot and killed. Ugh.

What do you say to a room full of people looking at their bloody dead son/grandson/brother/nephew/cousin/friend?

I am not good in these situations. Basically I just stood around and cried off and on. I hugged people when I could. Looked at the floor a lot. Prayed. I dunno... I remember once before when I was called in after a teenager had been killed. I hardly knew anyone at that time, and one of the family members asked me what the hell I was doing there if I was just going to stand around and be worthless. He has since apologized, but... I just don't know what to do in these situations. It's hard to even speak without crying. I can't imagine what it's like for his parents.

Apparently he and some friends were messing around, and... things happen. I feel so, so bad for the kid who pulled the trigger. From all accounts it was an accident. I feel bad for the parents. If it hadn't been an accident it would be easier to blame someone. I feel bad for everybody. What do you do?

What do you do...

Sunday pics

Here are some pictures we took this past Sunday. For this top photo we had everyone come up front during the worship gathering (except I forgot to get the people in the nursery, dangit). It actually didn't take too long, and wasn't too chaotic. The reason we took the pic was because one of our people recently went to a nursing home and her birthday is this week. We thought an 8x10 colored glossy photo of her church family might cheer her up some. Yesterday afternoon Jane and I took it to her. We didn't plan on spending the afternoon helping a table full of people play bingo... but I think she liked it. See if you can guess which one is me... (click on the pic to enlarge)

Below is a pic of me and "the boyfriend" Drew watching the super bowl in the church basement. We had about 25 show up for chili and potato soup. Not everyone stayed for the whole game, but it was a nice time. That was actually more people than I expected.

This last pic is the tv that MR was nice enough to donate to the church. How cool is that!? Everyone was much obliged. And on the wall behind it you can see some of the canvas paintings a lady in our church did. Any guesses as to who the singer is on tv?

Weird weather; weird dreams

So what's up with the weather around here lately? Super Bowl night there is a freakish snowstorm outta the blue, then yesterday it was foggy as all get-out. And it got worse as the day went on! Then a major thunderstorm during the night last night. Geesh.

A loud crack of thunder woke me from a dream at 2:30 am. In the dream I was riding in my '92 Ranger pick-up on county line road (just down from my house). In the dream I was dozing off, and all of a sudden, the person driving hollers out "What's that in the road!?!" That woke me from my sleep in the dream, and I noticed that the person driving my ranger was none other than JERRY SEINFELD!!! In my dream I just looked at him. Then I woke up in real life and noticed Jane was not in bed, but the dog was shaking and drooling over my head. It was then that I realized there had just been a loud thunder strike (no doubt because Jerry was driving my truck). I spent the rest of the night with Bogey sharing my pillow. What do you suppose all THAT means?

Old pictures

Since I picked the winner of the Super Bowl (and point spread too!), I thought I'd share some photos of ME from back in the day. Actually, Isaac stumbled over these in my senior yearbook the last time he was home. Yes, I was an all-conference running back and sprinter in high school. Of course, there were fewer than 200 people in all four grades so it wasn't that big of a deal. More of an accomplishment was that me-lady was the editor of this yearbook (and no doubt how I got these three pics in it). :)

I actually wasn't all that good of an athlete. I was just fast (mostly running scared). I really didn't like competing in sports, but my dad was the high school principal and athletic director, so I basically had to. I just never had a lot of drive and never quite developed that competitive spirit. In all honesty, when it was over it was like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. But I suppose there are some fond memories somewhere in the recesses of my brain.

Pictures of walls

If you ever want to kill a day... here is an awesome site filled with pictures of walls. Mostly graffiti and funny signs and the like. It's at www.picturesofwalls.com.

Doctor visit

Yesterday I went to the doctor because my blood pressure prescription had run out. I had forgotten that I'd had a blood test done in October to make sure it wasn't messing with my liver or potassium, so we went over that too. The liver and potassium were fine. Here are my other numbers:

• Total cholesterol - 219 (should be 200 or below)
  
• Bad cholesterol - 139 (should be 130 or below)
  
• Good cholesterol - 33 (should be 40 or above)
  
• Triglycerides - 216 (should be 200 or below)
  
• Blood pressure - 130/90 (should be 120/80)
  

My last doctor (actually, she was just a nurse practitioner) would have FREAKED over these numbers. She was one of those over-reactors who was unable to discern between legitimate concern and just being dramatic for no reason at all. That's mostly why I found a new doctor 2 years ago. I like this guy. He looked over my numbers, told me they were all "just a little beyond what we'd like"... but then said, "Hey, and who's perfect, right?" He laughed and said everything was fine.

Actually, my numbers have been MUCH worse in the past. They've also been better at times. :) The blood pressure was probably high due to the fact that I'd just shoveled the walk in front of East of Chicago, and the roads were a little hairy getting there. So he gave me a new prescription for lysinopril (10 mg) for my bp. He also said I might want to try a prescription Niacin instead of the over-the-counter I've been taking. He said they just came out with one that doesn't flush too bad. So I'm going to do that to try to raise my good cholesterol. I've always had trouble getting it up (the cholesterol), and this is higher than it's been in awhile actually. A couple years ago I changed my bp meds from atenelol to lysinopril because I'd heard the atenelol could work against good cholesterol.

I also asked about the pain I sometimes get on the left side of my chest. Not the front-left, but under my arm. He said it didn't seem to be heart-related at all, but more of a "structural" thing. My dad has always had the same problem. His doctor had him quit drinking caffeine. It's not THAT bad for me to give up the coffee.

All in all, a good visit to the old doc. But now I need another blood test in three months to see if the prescription Niacin works any better than the over the counter.

My son's problem with the church

I was going to title this "What the church should be bitching about." I mean, God knows we Christians like to bitch and moan. But it's usually about stuff that doesn't really matter. Son Isaac has a powerful-nice rant Anxiety As A Result of Being A Rich White Male Christian. He says he may never smile again. It's from reading Migeul A. De La Torre's book, Doing Christian Ethics from the Margins. I have not read the book, but Isaac lays a good dose of it out in his post (Um, yes, you should read it). And please understand, this is not just some 19-year-old college kid spouting off. He's spent time with the homeless, goes weekly to the youth prison, has been to D.C. more times than I've dreamed of, and... well, other stuff too. Here's a snippet from his post:

This is my problem with the Church, and especially the "emerging" church. In their attempt to really understand what the gospels are saying they have neglected to ask the very ones Jesus came to save. Instead they write their books and make money, they go on speaking tours, they sip coffee, they surf the net. I can't even begin to say how this effects my view of the mega-church...but I think you get the idea.

I would suggest Jesus came to save all of us, but according to Isaac, "De La Torre's argument is that we must start to understand the world through the eyes of the marginalized...there is no other way to fully realize the gospel message..." Because, as De La Torre says, "Jesus can never belong to the oppressors of this world because he is one of the oppressed. The radicalness of the gospel message is that Jesus is in solidarity with the very least of humanity."

Absolutely(!).... and well done, son. Thanks for not being afraid to speak what most of us in the church REALLY need to hear (Now if I could just get him to come and preach...).

Peace out; peace in.

Night with jg at au

A wonderful little night last night. Me-lady and I looked the winter storm prediction in the eye and drove down to Anderson U. to see son Isaac and spend the evening sweating to the tunes of the incomparable Josh Garrels. Nothing you can say about his music but... awesome. I even got to chat with him for a bit, and he seems a stellar dude too. I asked if he could play his cover of 'Killing Me Softly' but unfortunately he was playing a loaner guitar and - while it was a nice Martin (which I would love to have) - it wasn't good for banging on the sides. But I was ok with that. It was a good show.

They were also raising money for Kenya with an art auction. Lady Jane bid on a drawing, but apparently didn't have the high bid. And... lemme tell ya... I haven't been packed into a room like this in quite some time. All the couches and chairs were overstuffed (in every sense of the word), so we sat on the floor. I was in the aisle actually, and at first thought I was crammed in..... but probably SIX MORE PEOPLE squeezed in around me during the show. It was like a sea of people, and I was dripping with sweat, thought my foot was going to cramp, and Isaac got coffee spilled down his arm and leg, but.... it was worth it.

One of my regrets in life is missing the whole *college scene.* I mean, I went to college. Several times, actually. But I never LIVED at a college; I never got involved; I was never really a *college student.* I think that would be cool. Talk about living in community. It was just fun being around that many young people. Of course, I'm sure it's amplified for me since I'm so often not around people. Which, you know, I do need my space also. But sometimes I wish I could turn the clock back. At any rate, I'm glad my kids both got to experience college life.

That is one thing I've kind of been thinking about lately.... seeing other people on a regular basis. And, I know there are people who say I should make my office at a coffee house or restaurant or something. Um, maybe, but... Anyway, sometimes I miss walking into work and having someone to say "Good morning" to. Someone to talk about the game last night with. But, you know me, I would then start whining about that. So... whatever. :)

At any rate, it was a nice time last night. The predicted storm has yet to materialize. We were supposed to get between 5 and 15 inches of snow. When we got home at midnight there was none, and this morning there is maybe a couple inches.

Well, now I have a doctors appointment. Just a regular checkup to re-up my bp meds. And later I'll be linking to a pretty awesome post by son Isaac. Wow. You can get there from the link on my sidebar if you want to see it now. Hmm. Who'da thought all that was runnin through his mind while rockin out last night.

So far it's a good day.