The wedding

Wow, what a weekend! I have been speechless for a couple days because words simply cannot do it justice. Let me just say Drew Carrie's wedding could not have been any more awesome. I am one proud papa. This will be a long post.

REHEARSAL
Friday night was the rehearsal. It started at 6 pm. I went to the church early and Andrew was there getting the music set up (Joel wasn't able to be there until later). He was just playing some stuff on guitar and piano, and when he began to play "Storybook Love" on the piano (the Mark Knopfler song that the mothers entered on) it all became real like a lump in my throat. I was sitting at my desk when I heard it, and time stopped... My daughter was getting married this weekend.

As people arrived it became a bit more festive. The rehearsal went well. Everyone was easy to work with. Around 7 we went downstairs and had a meal of Casa food served to us by Robin, Shelley, Lucy, and Joan. After that some of us went to Curly's in Waynedale and the party was started.

THE WEDDING DAY
Jane and I spent the night at the same hotel our out-of-town guests stayed in (Isaac and some friends stayed at our house). The Hilton Garden Inn was fantastic, and it was nice to be where everyone else was so we could visit aside from at the reception. We were in room 332.

Saturday morning Jane and I went to McDonald's across the street for breakfast. Then she went with all the bridesmaids to get her hair done. I went down to the exercise room and ran on the treadmill for an hour. Four miles. It felt good to run off some tension and lose myself for a little bit. After showering I hung out in the lobby and chatted with people. Then we enjoyed a fantastic lunch at the hotel that Joan put together for the wedding party and out-of-town guests. Joan was such a huge help this weekend and everything she does is just right.

After lunch it was time to go to the church. I put my tux on at home and headed over around 1:30 (I think). I had wanted to kind of go over what I was going to say a little, but the photographers were ready right away. And, let me say, the photographers were EXCELLENT. It was a man and wife, and she took all the photos of the girls, while he took all the photos of the guys. And they were there for the entire reception as well! So I was involved in all the pics with the guys before the wedding. Then when the girls were in the sanctuary I spent some time in my office going over things, because I didn't want to see Carrie before the start of the ceremony. Time seemed to fly by. I didn't really think I was all that nervous, but there just seemed to be so much going on. As it got closer to the 4:30 start time, right before we were to line up, I kind of got a frog in my throat. I didn't tell anyone, but I finally went outside and tried to sort of cough it out, and I actually had the dry heaves several times around the back of the church. I've not done that in a long time. I began to wonder if maybe I was more nervous than I had thought. I was finally able to compose myself, and went back inside.

THE MOMENT
The best moment of the whole day for me was... when the ceremony started... after the grandparents were seated; after the parents were seated; after the groomsmen and bridesmaids entered in pairs... as the best man and maid of honor were heading up the stairs to walk down the aisle... I went downstairs to get Carrie. The partition into their dressing room was closed, and as I slowly opened it... she was standing right inside... and as I pulled the door open........ I saw the most beautiful bride in the world... and she had the biggest and prettiest smile I have ever seen on her face. This set the tone for the entire ceremony. She looked so happy, and so pretty, and she was so calm, and it was like all was right with the world. How could this not be the most awesome of days. And it was.

We went up and stood around the corner so no one could see us for a bit. I wanted to let Joel and Andrew play "Into the Mystic" for awhile before we entered, because not only do I think it helps to build a little anticipation, but I also wanted them to get into the song a bit. So we waited until Joel sang, "I wanna rock your gypsy soul"... and we entered. I was afraid I might get a bit teary-eyed, but it felt so right and good, and I was so proud walking my lovely daughter down the aisle. I wasn't nervous or sad or anything but elated. Everything seemed to be perfect. I was able to look at people's faces, and was totally in the moment. We made it down the aisle, the music was timed perfectly, and my good friend Tom set the tone with a nicely done welcome and prayer. Nephew, Dr. Tim, did a splendid job reading the Scripture passage. Then Tom did the 'declaration of intent' and asked who was giving this bride. After saying "Her mother and I," I gave the former Carrie Horwedel a hug and a kiss on the cheek, shook Drew's hand, and I went around behind Drew and took my place in the altar area to perform the rest of the ceremony. [Note on performing the ceremony for my daughter vs. just being the father: It may have been different if I were just 'a' pastor and not 'their' pastor; but I would not have wanted it any other way. I think I would always have regretted it if I hadn't done it. It was an honor and a privilege.]

I had been thinking about the message - and the ceremony in general - almost since they announced their engagement. I wanted to make it personal - because, after all, how many fathers have the opportunity to be officiant at their daughter's wedding - but I didn't want to make it SO personal that it was too much about me and/or Carrie. This was Drew & Carrie's day, and I wanted it to be just as special for he and his family as it was for her and our family. So I tried to not get overly personal. I actually built the message around the song Carrie and I walked in on (Into the Mystic), and the name of Drew's band (Swimming Into View). I tried to connect them to God's sending of Abram on a journey of faith, and the chosen people coming into the Promised Land: Regardless of the events or location, we always need God involved. Which is why marriage is never about just the two, but it is including God in our lives as well.

Not only was I not nervous during the ceremony, but I actually think I was more calm than during any other wedding I have ever done. I had hoped to be able to memorize some parts, so I wasn't so tied to the page. But I just can't do that, and I totally underestimated how much prep time I would have in the days preceding. So I was forced to read more than I wanted. Other than the message to the couple it was a fairly standard ceremony. I personalized the prayer and a few other moments, but I didn't veer too much; and it seemed like it was over as soon as it began.

I think it took about 40 minutes overall (from the grandparents being seated to the wedding party exiting); which is a little longer than most of my ceremonies. We didn't get started right on time. There were three groups of people where I said, "Okay, after they're seated we're going to start." But then another group would come in. So it was probably more like 4:35 when we started. We didn't have to set up any extra chairs, but it was packed pretty tight. One girl came in late by herself. I felt bad making her stand in the hallway alone, but it was just too late.

And, let me just say... THE MUSIC was the best ever. I hope it turned out on the video. Joel and Andrew did a better-than-fantastic job with the half hour of music beforehand and all the music during the ceremony. It could not have been any better. It helped so much having professional musicians. I only wish Carrie could have heard more.

After the ceremony Drew Carrie dismissed everyone, then we took pictures with the couple together. I was able to get some stuff put back in place for Sunday morning - since I wouldn't be there Sunday (I took a week of vacation, because I wanted to focus solely on the wedding and didn't want to have to be thinking about anything else). I think Jane and I were the last ones to leave the church at around 6:35 pm. Which was just about perfect, as the reception started at 6:30, and we were to start eating at 7 pm.

THE RECEPTION
We arrived at The Lantern (on Ardmore) and everyone was waiting. And, before I forget, let me just say... this was THE BEST place to have a reception. The people were super great to work with, and they took care of almost everything. The only decorations we had to do were the table centerpieces, and decorating the gift table. Everything else was set up and decorated and ready to go. And at the end of the night, they boxed up all the centerpieces for us, so the only cleanup was putting the gifts in the car and the boxes of centerpieces. You can't beat a 10-minute wedding reception cleanup. I would highly recommend them.

Dan and Sam introduced the wedding party. Then I was supposed to say something as the father-of-the-bride. I had written something out, but I kind of got lost in the moment. So I welcomed everyone; welcomed Drew into the family; made some comments about how proud we are of Carrie; and I can't really even remember what else I said. I skipped through the rest of my written comments and just said grace for the meal.

We ate right away, and I thought they did a good job getting everyone through the food lines. I think we had turkey and pulled pork sandwiches, mac-n-cheese (Carrie insisted), potato skins with a bunch of toppings, chips, and maybe some other stuff (I didn't pay much attention). There was a full bar, and Drew's dad paid for 4 kegs of beer. I would guess there were somewhere between 300-325 people. We told them to set up for 313 RSVP's, but we got more back after that, and there were a few people there who weren't invited; but I know of a few who were planning to be there that didn't make it. It all seemed to even out in the end. A really nice crowd, but no one went without a seat.

Robin and Erik (maid of honor and best man) gave superb toast speeches. Other than that, the rest of the night was kind of a blur. There were so many people that we didn't even get a chance to talk to because they left before we got around to them. But we tried talking to as many as we could. And the dancing lessons were kind of a waste if this was the only reason for them. I only danced a few times, and for the most part I just did the usual that I would have done before. Which doesn't mean the lessons were wasted, they just didn't help for this. I danced with my mom on the mother/son dance; with Carrie on the bride/father dance; and Jane and I danced to a few songs (we did the rumba). Other than that Jane's niece, Allison, dragged me out there a few times and that was it. There was much too much other stuff going on to spend too much time on the dance floor. Mostly I enjoyed seeing Carrie, and even son Isaac, enjoy themselves.

Overall it was a great reception. No one got out of hand at all, but everyone seemed to have a good time. I regret that we didn't get a chance to talk to some people, but I talked way more than I am usually comfortable with. I started wearing down as the night went on, and at one point I sat down and didn't think I was going to be able to get back up. I had a sprite and finally got my second wind after awhile.

The reception was over at 11 pm, and by 11:35 we were out of there. Me, Jane, and nephew Seth loaded all the gifts into our car; and we put the centerpieces and leftover cake in Keith and Seth's vehicle. We took our car to our house and just parked it in the garage, then took the Buick back to the hotel. We got there a little after midnight, and I was kind of pumped again, so I got on the computer for a brief while, but once I laid down I didn't last very long.

THE DAY AFTER
Sunday morning we got up and went down to the lobby around 7:30-ish. Carrie was already down there, as were a bunch of other people. Once again, I'm glad we all stayed at the same hotel. They had a breakfast there and we pretty much took over the breakfast area. Carrie brought down her digital picture frame and we got to look through the pictures she'd had taken at the wedding (they were also playing at the reception, but not many saw them). That was a nice idea we'd seen at the last wedding we did - someone took pictures before and during the ceremony, then they just took the picture card out and put in the frame, and they could show the pics to all the people at the reception. We continued to visit with family and friends throughout the morning, and finally checked out and left just before noon.

Jane and I went back to our house, and there was still a living room full of boys sleeping (other than Isaac, who had come to the hotel for breakfast). We grabbed a bite to eat, then took the car loaded with presents to Drew Carrie's apartment and they opened them. They made a very nice haul. They got some nice presents, and a good bundle of cash. I was glad more people gave them money than gift cards. Gift cards are okay, but money can be used anywhere. We stuck around awhile, then headed back home. I took a short nap. Drew Carrie stopped by the house on their way to Indy, where they spent the night before flying out this morning to Florida. They will be staying at our aunt and uncle's condo until returning on Friday.

Last night Jane and I took her brother Keith out for supper. He and his son, Seth, drove here from Colorado. They spent last night in the hotel again and were going to stop by for a bit this afternoon before heading back west again.

I really didn't think I got all that stressed, but now that I've come down a bit... I think I was more stressed than I realized. I was like a zombie last night. Today I am a little better, but... I am really out of sorts. I'm glad I am off until Wednesday. I wish Jane didn't have class tonight, and didn't have to go back to work tomorrow. She was so great during the whole thing.

All in all, I can't imagine this weekend having gone any better than it did. Every aspect was perfect: rehearsal, wedding ceremony, pictures, music, reception, lodging, weather.... everything. If anything went wrong we certainly don't know about it. Saturday was sunny and in the 50's; then it rained Sunday afternoon after everything was over. It is a nice sunny day again today though. Perfect.

I hadn't really thought about the fact that there is no longer a Carrie Horwedel; but Jane and I couldn't be happier for Carrie Feipel. An awesome wedding and weekend. Hopefully there will be more pictures later.

Thanksgiving day

This was a one-of-a-kind Thanksgiving this year, what with the wedding and all. I didn't get up until 7:30 yesterday. Jane made this delicious sausage and egg casserole thing. Jane, Carrie and I were all up early and busy as bees. They were baking and I started work finishing up the programs for the wedding. Son Isaac didn't get out of bed until 1 pm or so.

Around 10 Jane and I ran to Ossian and got a few items we forgot for cooking. After dropping them off at the house we headed to Nadeans to get the cookies she made to put in the gift bags for our guests staying at the hotel. I finished up some laundry and ran over to the church to borrow a couple of crock pots. I also picked up my tux from the church so I could try it on (fits perfect). I vacuumed the carpet and hung a shelf in the bathroom. Then waited for my parents to arrive.

Drew came and picked up Carrie right before Isaac got out of bed, and the two of them went to his aunts house for lunch. Once Isaac woke up he started in on some of his laundry and ate breakfast. My parents arrived around 3 pm.

We watched football and chatted most of the day. Drew Carrie arrived back at our house and we had Thanksgiving supper shortly after 5 while watching the Cowboys game in the living room. Jane and Carrie made a superdelicious meal: turkey, two kinds of dressing, green bean casserole, carrot casserole, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, rolls, pumpkin pie, chocolate chip pumpkin cookies, and... there was probably more but I stuffed myself so much it's all kind of running together.

We didn't do much the rest of the night. We finally had a toast for Drew & Carrie's engagement with some kind of good champagne Jane got. Nothing like waiting until the last minute. Drew Carrie also gave us our gift for helping with the wedding (which wasn't at all necessary). They gave us a gift certificate for a couple massage at some place in FW. We could probably use that right about now. Later on we did some more decorating at the church, Jane and mom rolled silverware for tonights rehearsal dinner, Isaac went to Blockbuster and rented some movies, yada yada yada. All in all it was a nice Thanksgiving day even though it rained almost the entire day. At least it wasn't snow, and wasn't overly cold. Probably lingered in the 40's.

Today is a busy day getting ready for the wedding rehearsal tonight and waiting for more guests to start arriving. I have a list made for myself. Ready, set, go....

Last lesson, new teacher

Last night we had our last private dance lesson, and we had a brand new teacher. Last week Chad called and said he was sick, and when we went in tonight we didn't see him. We asked the lady at the desk if he was here and she said, "No, but you'll still have your lesson." Then she leans in and says, "We had to let Chad go." Apparently he is famous for calling in sick. So... we had Josh for our instructor. I feel bad for Chad, but we actually liked Josh really well. He taught us stuff I wished we'd learned from the beginning. And at one point he says, "Are you two some kind of teachers or something?" So I said I was a pastor, and we talked about where we were from and stuff. He was nice. He taught us a totally different 'Swing' dance than we had been learning, and it was SO much easier.

Josh taught us the Jitterbug (or one-step swing). There is a nice Youtube video HERE. We can use all the turns and spins that we learned in East Coast Swing in this, so the other wasn't a waste. I wish we'd have learned this a long time ago though.

We still have a couple of group lessons left, and we haven't been to any Friday night dances (we have five). So... yeah, we'll see. It was nice to end on a good note though. And during our lesson we were the only ones on the floor most of the time, so that was kinda nice too. A couple more days and it will all take place for real though. I'm still no dancer.... but now I can at least Rumba and Jitterbug.

Shane claiborne in esquire

Shane Claiborne was named one of the "radicals and rebels who are changing the world" in Esquire magazines 'Best and Brightest' year-end edition. Apparently he had a nice discussion with one of the lead editors, and it resulted in him being asked to write a letter about his faith in said men's magazine. You can read how he came to be asked to write the letter here: "How I Came to Write An Apostolic Letter to Non-Christians in Esquire." You can read the actual letter that appears in the magazine here: "What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff."

A little snippet:

The more I have read the Bible and studied the life of Jesus, the more I have become convinced that Christianity spreads best not through force but through fascination. But over the past few decades our Christianity, at least here in the United States, has become less and less fascinating. We have given the atheists less and less to disbelieve. And the sort of Christianity many of us have seen on TV and heard on the radio looks less and less like Jesus...

I want to invite you to consider that maybe the televangelists and street preachers are wrong - and that God really is love. Maybe the fruits of the Spirit really are beautiful things like peace, patience, kindness, joy, love, goodness, and not the ugly things that have come to characterize religion, or politics, for that matter.

You should really read the whole thing. It's not long, but it's good.

Vacation so far...

Well I guess I am on vacation until the middle of next week. What with Thanksgiving and daughter Carrie's wedding and all, I figured I might as well not even try to do any work. There is plenty of other - more important - stuff to do right now. So we have a singing group coming Sunday, and I am going to busy myself with Wedding & Thanksgiving preparations. I think someone told me there are 31 hotel rooms booked for out-of-town guests (not all are coming for Thanksgiving, but mostly the wedding).

So, my first order of business after working yesterday was to try to get a bed in the exercise room again. Carrie has removed most of her stuff from the closet in the guest bedroom, so I was able to get a lot of stuff in there. I put the exercise bike in the garage for the time being (Lady Jane doesn't have much time for riding at the moment). I got it all cleaned out - and even cleaned the treadmill off - and was able to fit a single bed along the wall under the guitars, and even had room to leave the treadmill up. I will put it in upright/storage position when son Isaac gets here tomorrow afternoon and this can be his room for the rest of the weekend.

I spent most of this morning working on maps for our out-of-town guests. Jane and Carrie are making little bags to give people as they arrive at the hotel. I don't know what all else will be in the bags, but there will be maps and directions from: the hotel to the church; church to the hotel; church to the reception hall; reception hall back to the church; hotel to Glenbrook Mall; and the hotel to the Jefferson Pointe Mall. I also made maps from the church to Curly's bar and grill, for after the rehearsal dinner; and from Curly's back to the hotel. I think that ought to cover just about everything everybody needs to know. I made 20 of each, and then I made extras from the church to the reception for people coming to the wedding.

I debated on whether to use Google maps or Mapquest. I just don't really care for the Mapquest maps, but I do like how they put the map and the directions all on one page, as opposed to Google which prints the map on one page and the directions on another. So, what I did was, I used the Google map, then in MS Word I just typed in the directions at the bottom, then ran the map through the printer again to get the directions printed below the map. Yes, I know it was probably unnecessary, but these are things that bug me. So now there is a somewhat decent map, with directions on the same page.

Not exactly sure what to do with the rest of this day. Jane had to work today until noon. Plus she had to go in early as they had a breakfast for all the employees at 7 am today. Apparently they don't understand that doing something for their employees would actually be giving them time OFF, instead of asking them to come in earlier. Oh well. At least she will be done for the rest of the week too.

Someone just delivered flowers to the house for Jane. Hmm. Maybe she has a secret admirer. I probably should have thought to do something like that though. She is quite an amazing women: works full-time, going to college full-time, teaches a Sunday School class, plays piano for church every week, does many of the church dinners, listens to me talk and talk and talk, and all this while helping with all the details for the wedding. Amazing.

I should probably go empty the garbage or something.

Why palin's book should concern christians

Interesting article "Why [Sarah] Palin's Book Should Concern Christians, Especially Evangelicals" by Ed Cyzewski. I have not read the book and have no idea what it contains. I also don't really have anything against SP as a person. But this makes sense in the big picture, whether it's her or anyone else. Some snippets from Ed's post...

We should be concerned because Sarah Palin knows her only shot in an election is mobilizing the conservative evangelical base. If we think Christianity has been overly-politicized now, we should shudder at the thought of what Palin can do...

In addition, as Palin stakes her claim as a "Christian" politician, Christianity and evangelicals in particular will continue to be painted as right-wing political affinity groups. Lost in the mix is the Gospel, Jesus, and the Great Commission...

...we should be concerned that the effectiveness of the Gospel message will be blunted because it is being associated with the Republican party, and Palin may need to do that all the more to solidify her place. Christians may play right into this by holding her up as a model Christian, a standard bearer for evangelicals.

I recommend the entire article (which isn't that long), because as he suggests at the end, "Christians cannot afford to let a politician represent us because politicians have to take sides. For those called to reach the whole world with the Gospel, that is a mistake we cannot afford to make."

RT

Twitter as a spiritual discipline

An interesting blog post about using twitter for prayer. Perhaps I should try this, because the value of twitter has sort of escaped me up to now. Though maybe I should pray about it first. Or should I twitter-pray about it?

Anyway... Gerard tells how "twitturgy" revolutionized his prayer life here: http://www.everythingchristian.co.uk/2009/11/twitter-as-a-spiritual-discipline/. What is twitturgy, you ask? Here's what he says...

I simply took the Twitter question "What are you doing?" and translated it as "What are you praying?" taking the prayers I was praying in any case and crafting them into personal liturgies.

Two hundred and twenty-four Twitturgies later, the result has been an unexpected change in my own life of prayer. Others have expressed appreciation for the prayers they have received on Twitter, but the real benefits have been in my own spirituality. By allowing my commitment to Twitturgies to force upon me the regular question, "What are you praying?" the practice of writing Twitturgies has blown a fresh breeze through my prayers.

I like this idea, and may just have to try it. Maybe I can even learn the ins and outs of Twitter in the process.

Guitar-shaped wedding cake

This was the cake for the wedding we did last night (made by the bride). It was 6'2" long and 29" across. Kinda wild. Also, for the card holder they took an old acoustic guitar and cut a slit in the side of the body to slide cards into. When they return from their honeymoon they'll crack it open to get the cards out (it was an old guitar that had a bad neck). They will then use the neck to make a door handle (or something). The couple are both into guitars, if you didn't already know that.

Doctor visit

I went to the doctor yesterday for my regular check-up. I thought the nurse said my blood pressure was 120/88, but wasn't sure. When the doctor came in and high-fived me I realized it must have been 120/80. Very cool. My weight was 173 (down 3 lbs. from 3 months ago); and I measured myself at 68". I think the lower bp numbers are because I've been running again. Seems to make quite a difference.

All seems well. We talked about me doing Carrie's wedding next weekend. He told how he delivered his daughter (though he didn't deliver his 3 sons before that). He said the only way his wife would agree to have another child was if he did her ob care. So he did, but asked the ob doctor to be there "just in case."

I asked for another prescription for Lisinopril. The last time I got it filled at Walgreen's they had upped the price, so I will go back to Walmart. Hopefully it is still $10 for a 90-day supply there.

My meds are still: Lisinopril 20 mg, one a day; Nasonex spray 50 mcg, one a day; Fexofenadine (generic Allegra) 180 mg, one a night.

I have to go back in 3 months again. I don't know why I have to go back every 3 months. I guess because of my bp and my cholesterol numbers are all in the iffy range. Argh. At least I felt good today. All he ever does is have the nurse check my bp, and then he listens to my lungs in front and back with his stethoscope. I think once a year I get a lipid profile. Better safe than sorry I guess, but I don't like having to pay the $20 every time. Whatever.

Siv at cs3 and welcome to the room

Last night we went to Calhoun Street Soups, Salads and Spirits (CS3's) to listen to Drew's band Swimming Into View. It's always interesting walking into the back room of this place, because you go through a solid door and then the stage is right there. When we got there last night the opening band was still playing, and as we walked across in front of the stage and found a seat at a table, the guy was singing about vagina's. I couldn't make out any other words, but he definitely liked that one... he kept repeating it over and over and over. And, of course, almost everyone in there immediately looked at Jane and I because we were quite obviously the oldest people in the room. Then, after the song ended, the singer says, "Is that somebody's parents?" To which daughter Carrie proudly raised her hand in the air. Yep, welcome to the room.

They all seemed like nice people though. And all of Drew Carrie's friends are always super nice to us. So it was all quite fun, and we had a nice time.

I like listening to SIV (can I call them that?). They're not trying to be rock stars, they're just having a good time playing music. You know, it is okay to just have fun and enjoy something. They always make me feel good whenever I hear them. I really liked the rap song where they all switch instruments and Mr. Felts sings; as well as their funky version of Foxy Lady. There are a couple of songs that must be their own that I really like too.

And the cs3 back room continues to get better each time we've been there. There's just something about this place that I like. I don't know if it's the brick walls, the high ceilings, or what. I think it would make an awesome church gathering spot though.

And I found out last night that the nice looking door by the bar actually leads into Babylon - the big Fort Wayne GLBT club. A couple of times people went in and out of it and I could see through the door that it had wild lighting, and multiple levels, and there were sparkly things floating in the air. I am curious as to what it's like, but... you know... I don't know that I'm THAT curious. Apparently you can come from the gay club into CS3, but there was a keypad requiring a code to go from CS3 into Babylon. Hmm.

Anyway... good time.

White stripes

You probably thought this was going to be about music. While it would be totally awesome for Jack and Meg to come pulling into our driveway, I am actually talking about these 'white stripes' I painted today in our driveway. Some people have been known to hog too much space - not being considerate of others who may be coming along later. This should take care of that - as long as we can park between the lines. Not everyone will be able to fit their car in our driveway next week, but at least there should be a little less confusion. There is 10'8" between lines.

Things to do

I think I need to write down a list of things to do in the upcoming week.

Today - Doctor appointment, treadmill, wedding rehearsal.
Saturday - Work in morning, wedding in evening, Illini game at 8 pm (BTN).
Sunday - Worship in morning, decorate church for Carrie's wedding in afternoon, Jane has Charis House meal later afternoon, Community Thanksgiving service at night.
Monday - Work (bulletins for next Sunday, start on message for following Sunday, misc.).
Tuesday - On vacation for a week. Lots to do. First week of vacation this year (3 to go).
Wednesday - Pick up tux, and whatever else. Not sure if Isaac is coming home this day or next.
Thursday - Thanksgiving. Mom and dad will be arriving in afternoon. Cowboys/Raiders. Turkey, tades, Cool Whip with a little pumpkin pie.
Friday - Other family and out-of-town guests arriving. Rehearsal for the Drew Carrie wedding. Hotel.
Saturday - Other family and out-of-town guests arriving. DREW CARRIE WEDDING DAY!!! Hotel.
Sunday - The Northmen at church. I will be sleeping in or sitting at McDonald's or something. Saying some good-byes to those leaving. Drew Carrie will likely open gifts in afternoon.
Monday - Take stuff back to where it goes. Jane's brother and his son will still be here.
Tuesday - Last day of this week of vacation. I'm sure there will still be things needing done. Clean house.
Wednesday - Back to work. Get ready for Sunday morning, and the decorating/church supper Sunday night.
Eternity - the usual.

Screw yew

In the NIV Application Commentary on the book of Mark they share this story on p. 512:

Will Campbell tells the story of an Anabaptist woman who lived in Antwerp. She had been arrested a few days earlier for proclaiming the gospel of Christ as she understood it from her personal reading of the Scripture and from study and discussion with others of like faith. She underwent the inquisition of the clerics for heresy and the bodily torture of the civil authorities, but she would not buckle under to their pressure. After six months, she would not promise to stop preaching the word from her own reading of the Bible. So the authorities did what they thought they had to do: They sentenced her to death on October 5, 1573. Included in the sentence was the stipulation to the executioner that her tongue be screwed fast to the roof of her mouth so that she might not testify along the way as they took her to the stake where she was to be burned.

That day her teenage son, Adriaen, took his youngest brother, three-year-old Hans Mattheus, and they stood near the stake so that her first and last issue might be near her at her moment of death. Three other women and a man were to die that day for the same terrible offense -- unauthorized preaching of the gospel. When the flames were lit, Adriaen fainted. He could not witness the horror. But when it was all over and the ashes had cooled, he sifted through them until he found the screw that had silenced his mother's tongue. It would not silence his.

Yeah... Yesterday I got a haircut. They always ask me in some way or another what it is I do for a living. The girl asked yesterday, and as always, I said I pastor a church. We continued to chit-chat, and right before she was done she says, "I've never seen a pastor with an earring before." I don't really know what I even said, but it occurred to me afterward what an idiot I am. She was trying to open a door; and I was holding it shut. I never did inquire as to her faith, or whether she is connected with a church - much less invite her to ours. I used to invite almost everybody I met to our church. I don't know why I don't anymore. I need to. And even more than that I need to be more open about sharing my faith and my love for Jesus. After all, my tongue is not screwed down.

A missional learning commons: #3

The third annual Missional Learning Commons (non-conference) is January 8-9, 2010 in the lovely Fort Wayne, Indiana again. This is a nice time for missional pastors/leaders/church planters to gather together to encourage one another and discuss the stuff of doing missional church as communities. And I love that Dave Fitch is once again trying to push Fort Wayne as the "missional mecca of the midwest."

It's called a "non-conference" because there are no no fees, no paid speakers and big sponsors selling stuff. IT'S FREE!!! Just a bunch of people gathering to pray, talk missional church, and encourage one another in the Spirit.

I attended last year and found it very worthwhile. Unfortunately I won't be able to be there this year. I will be involved in a Missional Leadership Initiative with Reggie McNeal the very same weekend in Ohio. Kinda bummed to miss it. [Actually, I just realized I WILL be in town then, so I should be able to attend after all]. But you can go. The Learning Commons website has info, as well as Ben's and Dave's blog.

In the storm

In Max Lucado's book 'Fearless,' he is talking about Matthew 14 when the disciples are stuck in the middle of the Sea of Galilee in a storm at night, and Jesus comes walking to them on the water. He says on p. 70...

They didn't expect Jesus to come to them this way.

Neither do we. We expect him to come in the form of peaceful hymns or Easter Sundays or quiet retreats. We expect to find Jesus in morning devotionals, church suppers, and meditation. We never expect to see him in a bear market, pink slip, lawsuit, foreclosure, or war. We never expect to see him in a storm. But it is in storms that he does his finest work...

Perhaps the only question is whether we're looking for him or not.

Civil religion: the enemy of christianity

My wife Jane is taking a Sociology class and in the textbook for the class (Sociology: A Brief Introduction, Alex Thio) there is a chapter on 'Education and Religion.' There is so much to look at, but on pp. 303-304 they talk about "Civil Religion." This, to me, is the crux of the problem in a large number of churches in the good ol' US of A. So many people are adherents of this civil religion rather than Christianity, and they don't even know it (or they don't see anything wrong with it; or they see it as the same thing). I will quote directly from this secular textbook:

CIVIL RELIGION
Rather than a formal separation of church and state, sociologists see full integration of the two in the form of civil religion, a collection of beliefs, symbols, and rituals that sanctify the dominant values of a society. The civil religion is a hybrid of religion and politics. The state takes up certain religious ideas and symbols, and religion sacralizes certain political principals, backing up the government's claim to a right to rule with its own moral authority. Thus, a civil religion can unify the citizens of a country by heightening their sense of patriotism.

The U.S. civil religion includes faith in what is popularly known as the American way of life, with freedom, democracy, equality, individualism, efficiency, and other typically U.S. values as its creeds. The "American way of life," said Will Herberg (1983), is the common religion of U.S. society by which Americans define themselves and establish their unity. Protestantism, Catholicism, and Judaism are its "subfaiths."

God plays an important role in civil religion. God is cited on coins ("In God We Trust") and in national hymns ("God Bless America"). References to God are made in all oaths of office, in courtroom procedures, at political conventions, in the inaugural address of every president, and on practically all formal public occasions.

But the God of U.S. civil religion is not the god of any particular church. Adherence to U.S. civil religion requires only people's belief in God, however they choose to define the deity - as a personal god, an impersonal force, a supreme power, an ideal, or any other form. Americans do not have to believe in Moses, Jesus, the Bible, heaven and hell, or any other doctrine of a particular religion. They are instead exhorted to go to any church of their choice. As President Eisenhower said, "Our government makes no sense, unless it is founded on a deeply felt religious faith - and I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS." The civil religion does not favor one particular church but, rather, religion in general. Everyone is expected to pay at least lip service to religious principles, if not to join a church, synagogue, or mosque. It is considered un-American to be godless or, worse, to attack religion.

Like a genuine religion, U.S. civil religion contains symbols, rituals, and scriptures. Its sacred writings are the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. George Washington is seen as the Moses who led his people out of the hands of tyranny. Abraham Lincoln, the martyred president, is seen as the crucified Jesus and his Gettysburg Address as a New Testament. The civil religion's holy days are the Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, and Veterans Day, when Americans sing sacred hymns such as "The Star-Spangled Banner" and "America the Beautiful," invoke the name of God, listen to sermonlike speeches, and watch ritualistic parades. The U.S. flag, like the cross, is supposed to inspire devotion.

Oh man... There is more, but I think that paints a pretty clear picture. I don't even know where to begin. In fact, I wonder if one even CAN begin to explain what is wrong with this to someone who doesn't see it themselves. Even just simple things like Christ being superior to government; the Bible being superior to the Constitution; all religions are NOT the same; religion and Christianity are not the same thing; etc., etc., etc. I think the problem is: too much of who we are as the church is wrapped up in preserving our country and/or way of life, and not near enough is about loving God and others.

Rape victim tells story

An article about a rape victim telling her story: http://www.journalgazette.net/article/20091115/LOCAL07/311159915/1002/LOCAL

Giving away dollars

Yesterday afternoon Jane and I went to one of the local Walmart stores and gave away 20 one-dollar bills. It's something I've wanted to do for awhile - just to see how people would react. Then Jane took a Sociology class, and she had an assignment where she was supposed to do something 'against the norm' (to see how people reacted), and my sociological experiment was legitimized.

So we arrived at Walmart about 4 pm. I was surprised I was a little nervous at first. Jane was supposed to just observe, so she leaned against the wall around the corner from the entrance, and I stood and waited for my first victim...customer...lab rat(?). I only approached people who were entering the store, not exiting. Most people tried to avoid me, so I would just walk their way, hold out a dollar bill, and ask, "Would you like a dollar?" I counted eight people who declined before the first one accepted. After that I couldn't really keep count anymore, but I would guess just as many if not more people declined than accepted. It probably took about 20 minutes to give away 20 ones.

Some random observations that I can recall:

• One middle-aged couple struck up a conversation and wanted to know why I was doing it. I said I just wanted to give it away. They said I should give it to someone who needs it. I said they were welcome to if they liked. They were quite happy and fun to talk to.
• One 60-ish lady with what appeared to be her 20-30-ish son was very appreciative and said "God bless you" to me.
• One lady around 40-ish wondered if there was a Salvation Army kettle to put it in. I said I didn't know, and she continued to back her way into the store. She smiled and laughed, but wouldn't take the dollar.
  
• With one younger couple the guy ignored me, but the girl started to put her hand out. She finally took it after I told her "Oh, you know you want it," and then she looked at him like she wondered if she was going to be in trouble.
• I had one lady with a child of about 10. The lady ignored me, but the child looked at me like she wanted the dollar. Finally the mom said ok. As they walked in the daughter said, "Is this mine to keep?" to her mom (I'm assuming it was mother/daughter).
• I think only 3 people asked me why I was doing it. 1 wanted to know what the catch was. When I said there was no catch "Just want to give away dollars" she kept walking and didn't take one.
• I think almost everyone who took one said thank-you.
  
• It seemed that when people saw others taking one they were much more likely to take one themselves. Those who came in alone, or in a pair, were more likely to just ignore me.
• Children got much more excited and were much more apt to take a dollar than adults.
  
• I had one family with maybe 4 kids (all around 7-12 years old), and when I gave the first one a dollar the rest didn't ask for one. When I gave them each a dollar they were pretty excited though.
• There was a guy sitting in the passenger seat of a car parked right beside the entrance the whole time. Every time I looked his way he was slumped way down and either looking away or looking down.
  
• No one got ignorant at all, but it seemed quite a few were scared. I'm sure they thought I wanted something in return, or it was some kind of trick, or something. I don't blame them, I would probably be the same on some days.

All in all it was an interesting experiment. I didn't really know what to expect. I'm not sure if it proved anything or not, but... it was fun.

Blood pressure

I hadn't checked my blood pressure in awhile. While waiting for Jane to get her hair done I used one of the machines at the JP food court. I had been walking around for about 30 minutes, and when I first sat down it was 135/82. I checked it again after resting and it was 117/76. I thought that was quite a difference, so I did it yet again, and the third time it was 116/77. Cool. That's the first I've checked it since they increased my dosage and I've been running again. Must be working.

Thou shall not murder; 8 little foxes

Scot M. has a good post on this: http://blog.beliefnet.com/jesuscreed/2009/11/thou-shalt-not-murder.html

And I agree with this comment that was left:

It has always been a mystery to me how a person can be anti-abortion and yet pro-death penalty, pro-war and anti-public health care... It seems a great example of how our political views influence our reading of scripture, rather than vice-versa.

Also, Scot has a series going on about the book Hidden Worldviews (Steve Wilkins and Mark Sanford) that is quite good. He calls it "8 Little Foxes That Spoil the Church's Vines". So far they've covered: Individualism, Consumerism, and Nationalism (the one on Nationalism has some great comments regarding the flag in church). I hate to link to Scot's blog because, while I like Scot and what he writes, I can't stand the set-up and maneuverability of his blog since he switched to beliefnet hosting it. But this is worth the hassle.

New suit

I got a new suit last night. Went to JC Penney and they had them on sale, and I found a gray Joseph Abboud suit that I liked and the pants were not even cuffed or pleated. It was $360 on sale for $160, and we got another $30 off because apparently we have a Penney's credit card. Also, while checking out I noticed a navy sport coat hanging there that was my size and it was on clearance for $20, so I got that too. I thought I would see if Isaac wanted it (seems he was wanting a sport coat, but he might already have a navy one), but if not I can wear it. I didn't really want to use my birthday monies for dress clothes, but it's better than using regular money for them. I also got some new white undershirts at Meijers. A three-pack of medium Fruit-of-the-Loom. I have such a hard time finding undershirts that fit right. You know, mediums are too small, larges too big. These mediums actually seemed to fit ok.

New pants but not a new suit

I bought a new pair of jeans last night. I decided maybe I needed some that don't have a hole in the knee. Plus I wanted a pair that could be worn everyday, but also in casual dress situations. I got some D3 Dockers Classic Fit jeans at Kohls. 34/30. They are a tad loose in the waist, but the 33/30 were a tad tight. Story of my life. At any rate, they're actually kind of nice (but I'm not taking the tags off just yet). I've never had a pair of Dockers jeans before. Most of mine have been Levi's, Arizona, or from Walmart.

I also tried on a suit (I know, crazy). I finally figured out the problem with the suit I have: it is a three-button jacket. If I were a bit slimmer throughout it would be fine, but as I have aged and my body shape has changed slightly... it just doesn't fit as well as I would like. Besides, it probably wouldn't hurt me to have more than one. So I am in the market for a nice, inexpensive, two-button suit. The problem I have, though, is that so many suits seem to come with pants that are both pleated and cuffed. I don't like pleated and/or cuffed pants. Jane talked me into trying on a gray suit with the pleated/cuffed pants... and I really liked the jacket, but it must just be my body shape that makes me look like I'm wearing a diaper when I wear pleated pants. And they feel funny. I don't know why they look fine on some people, but they're not for me. So, even though I liked the Chaps suits at Kohls, I am going to have to look somewhere else to try to find flat-front suit pants. I wouldn't mind a gray or a brown suit, or maybe even blue or tan... but we'll see. I am a little nit-picky about how my clothes feel, especially when spending $150-200. By the way - note to self - I wear a 40short jacket.

Dancing with the star

Yeah, so... last night I went dancing with none other than Elena Grinenko of Dancing With The Stars. I didn't actually dance *with* her, but we were dancing at the same time on the same floor. And I think she looked at me once when she swooshed by me.

She was teaching some workshops where Jane and I take dance lessons. We didn't attend her classes, but she was giving a private lesson while we were taking ours. To be honest, I had no idea who she was (I don't watch the show), and didn't really notice her at first. But I loved her Russian accent, and she really is quite the stunning beauty (as well as an exquisite dancer).

Here she graciously agreed to a picture with the lovely Lady Jane as we were getting ready to leave.

Perspective on veterans day

Today is Veterans Day in the United States and some other parts of the world. My wife has the day off of work. As a Christian, and somewhat of a pacifist, this day has always been one of mixed feelings for me. Not that I have anything against veterans - my dad fought in the Korean Conflict, and I have known and love many war veterans. I am not opposed to veterans, but I am not in favor of war. However, I am not sure my opinion on this day has always been correct.

President Woodrow Wilson first proclaimed an "Armistice Day" for November 11, 1919 to celebrate the end of World War I. Major hostilities of this war were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice. According to Wikipedia, "an armistice is a situation in a war where the warring parties agree to stop fighting. It is not necessarily the end of a war, but may be just a cessation of hostilities while an attempt is made to negotiate a lasting peace. It is derived from the Latin arma, meaning weapons and statium, meaning a stopping." It was in 1954 that President Dwight D. Eisenhower changed the name from "Armistice Day" to "Veterans Day" to include all veterans of war, not just those from World War I.

You know, I have no problem with the original intent of Veterans/Armistice Day. To me it was a celebration of peace much more than war - and that is a good thing. I have never understood how people can be opposed to those who desire peace. And I can even understand those wars which were about justice issues and protecting innocent lives. I can respect people who fight for such things even if I am opposed to the use of violence to do so.

What I find unacceptable are those wars that are more about money or political power than actually protecting certain basic human freedoms. And I am not just a little offended by those who insist that the American military has in any way, shape, or form preserved my right to be a practicing Christian. I actually had someone tell me to my face once that the only reason I have a job as a Christian pastor is because of the U.S. military. Um, I'm not sure how they account for Christians in other countries. In my opinion there has been only one war fought for my faith, and that was won by the complete surrender of my Lord and Savior. So please spare me the rhetoric that Christ needs our guns for religious freedom. If my faith is determined by whether my government says I can practice it or not, then I'm not sure it is a Christ-centered faith.

At any rate, I pray for God's blessing on all veterans today, and may the peace of Christ be with us all. I found this ending to an anonymous prayer and thought it nice as well:

Give us all the creative vision to see a world which, grown weary with fighting,
Moves to affirming the life of every human being and so moves beyond war.
Hear our prayer, O Prince of Peace, hear our prayer.

Mowing

Okay, so I think today was the last mowing of the year. I've said that the last two times, but I really think this was it. I mowed north and south. Took 2 hours 5 minutes. I probably didn't really need to, but it was such a nice day, and with 2 weddings coming up I thought it would be nice to mulch the leaves and give it a nice trim. I just cannot imagine mowing it again this year. This was mowing #21.

Random links

• A great post by Rachel Evans on being a Bible-snob. Nicely written and a must read for almost anyone who considers themselves a Christian. I don't like when I am one, or especially when I am around others who are. God help us all.
  
• I ran across a link to this post: "Does Being Sad, or Complaining, Make You Smarter?" Ha! Apparently being sad makes one less gullible and therefore improves their judgment, as well as boosting memory and making one more attentive to their surroundings. I just hope this doesn't cheer me up too much and ruin all my good qualities.
• "Top Ten Things Church Hoppers Say" is one of those posts that is kinda funny, but also pretty sad. As a pastor I have actually heard every one of these. However, there is a difference between someone who continually hops from one church to another for these reasons and those who have legitimate reasons to leave. My heart goes out to the latter group... and, in a way, even the first group. Though some people are just idiots. Apparently these are in a book by Bob Franquiz called 'Zero to Sixty'.
• Slightly related might be this post by DD on "Low-Grade Sense of Ministerial Failure." I have actually had a rather "high-grade" sense of it lately. And now I have my reason for not taking Mondays off. I don't understand why so many church people think pastors are the enemy.
  
• To end on a high note though, Andrew has a nice post about 'Taking The Family On The Road', with links to other articles about people who've sold their homes and taken to living in RV's. I have great admiration for what the Joneses are doing in their 'Great Commission Vehicle.' It is something Jane and I actually talk about from time to time. I don't know if I could do it though.
  

Not a family church

I was recently talking with a couple of pastors who are on staff at a church together. They talked glowingly about their church, and how it is a "family church," and all the things they do to lift up "family," and they're working on making it more "family friendly" and trying to disciple the "whole family" with "family values" and family, family, family, family, family...

However, later on they said one area of concern was their inability to attract students from the college located right next to their church building. They said they wished they could figure out how to connect with them, because they basically had no college-age people in their church.

You know... I might not be real smart, but it seems fairly simple to me. I mean, for one thing, most people that age are still SINGLE. Why would a single person want to be part of a family church? For another thing, most college students are maybe just getting out on their own... Perhaps the LAST THING they want at this time is to be around more family! I dunno. Maybe that's just me though.

At any rate, I have never really liked the "family church" mentality in general. Not that I am against families being a part of the church (I am all for it), but I think when you say you are "family friendly" you automatically alienate a whole lotta people from church. What about those who are single? What about those who aren't in the same place spiritually as their spouse? What if you don't have kids? What if you are a kid? I just think it sends a wrong message. Church should be for anyone and everyone. Sometimes I think we may even need a little separation to sort of "find our own way."

And not only that, but I don't know that Jesus was a "family-church" guy either. I mean, read Matthew 12:46-50. He asks, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers." Then points at his disciples and says it's those who do the will of God. Blood might be thicker than water, but HIS blood is thicker than ours. (Lauren Winner has a nice post: "The Gospels Don't Preach Family Values").

Ultimately I believe a church that just wants to be "family friendly" is missing the point. They make faith out to be nothing more than living a good, moral life - 'cultural drapery' - if you will. There is no interest in seeing lives transformed by the power of the gospel; they mostly just want a nice safe club to raise their family in. And, hey, it's not that I am against niceness, or safety... I just don't think that is what Jesus came to bring us. He came to bring a way out for the prisoner, a way up for the downtrodden, a way home for the lost, and a way to carry on for the weary. I believe he was much more of a revolutionary, and I'm not sure how nice, safe, or "family-friendly" revolutionaries are. To make church nothing more than keeping a set of moral values strips the gospel of its power, and denies a whole bunch of people the chance to find freedom and hope and their true home, in Christ.

So it's not that I am anti-family, but I believe Jesus wants us to look at family differently. We are all related in the human sense... we are all in need. I hope and pray that my church might become more "Jesus friendly"... and that it would be a place where ALL people can feel welcome and accepted in hopes of being a part of his family together.

Birthday number forty seven

So, I guess I am forty seven years old now. It was an interesting birthday this year. The actual day wasn't so bad, and the number didn't even bother me. But for several weeks prior to the day I was in one of my worst funks ever. I hadn't been quite that depressed in a long time; maybe never. And I don't really know that it had anything at all to do with my birthday. The weekend before was just really bad. The last couple Sunday mornings have been terrible (on my part). So many things going on internally. But I think I was able to hide most of them. I dunno... I suppose just the normal October stuff I go through every year...

As far as my birthday... Jane got me a sketch pad and pencil set, and some chocolate dipped pretzels. She also ordered me a Michael Card CD ('The Hidden Face of God'). It wasn't in on my birthday, but arrived a few days later. Drew Carrie got me some candy bars. A guy from church got me a bag of little Almond Joys. I got a few cards, and 2 from people at church. And I had many birthday wishes on Facebook, which surprised me.

The day was kind of a whirlwind in that I went into the office at 8; took Jane to work at 9:30 (and got myself a sausage, egg, and cheese Mcgriddle, to celebrate); took Jane to the doctor at 2:30 (and it took 2 hours); then had to go back and pick her up from work at 6 pm. Then we had dance lessons at 7 on the north side. So we went to Chili's for a late birthday supper after that. And this was THE WORST dance lesson we've had to date. It was like we took stupid pills before we went. I think we actually UN-learned stuff.

Food for the day was: the usual morning bagel (blueberry), the sausage, egg, and cheese Mcgriddle, a couple of little candy bars (left over from halloween), a small Dairy Queen vanilla shake for lunch, a small salad of lettuce, cheese and tomatoes for early supper, a couple more little candy bars, and then a turkey burger and fries for late supper.

Yep, it was my birthday. Now it's over, and I'm just an old fart. I have a headache right between my eyes today. Other than that there does seem to be some light though.