Monday, December 29, 2014

Relaxed

I commented to Jane the other day that I think I'm about as relaxed as I have ever been. I know this is the most relaxed I've been for the last 15 Christmases. Certainly Christmas-time was busier and more stressful when I was a pastor - it's one of the busiest times of year in the church - I still used to enjoy it. However, this year it seemed enjoyable in an entirely different way. I really had no stress whatsoever.

Even beyond the season and the work of being a pastor, though, I feel different. My job is a lot less stressful, I am growing older, I appreciate different things, and there are differences in my faith journey that I can't really put my finger on. Something is happening. I can't say that it's good or bad, or where it will go, but I feel relatively calm and at ease with life. There is now a 'peace'... or 'quiet confidence'... that has been missing for quite some time.

I stumbled across this quote by A.W. Tozer the other day that seemed to resonate:
God never hurries. There are no deadlines against which he must work. Only to know this is to quiet our spirits & relax our nerves.

Yes... while some might say I am less "religious," I actually feel better in my relationship with God. I am hesitant to say "in step with," but... it seems a good pace for me right now. I feel unhurried, quieted in spirit, and relaxed. For as terrible as 2014 was, it is ending nicely for me. I think.