I'm sure you've heard the phrase
"Don't be THAT guy." Well folks, I am here to tell you that I AM "that guy."
The urban dictionary says "that
guy" is the person everyone loves to hate and never wants to become. You know,
they say things no one wants to hear, they over-react, they're drama queens. We
are the people no one wants to be around because you're never quite sure what
you're going to get. Yep... that's me. Argh.
I remember a counselor once
telling me I tested high for drama. I wasn't too thrilled and told him I
wished I wasn't that way. He said I needed to work on letting it out, as well as start liking myself.
Yeah... still working.
So, yesterday I posted a long-ass
whine about work and faith and other stuff (without mentioning much
other stuff). I wrote it first thing in the morning but didn't publish it until afternoon. I spent most of the rest of the day wishing I hadn't posted it
and made a number of edits into the evening. Several times I was
going to take it down, but finally just decided that really is who I am,
and part of why I blog is to be open and honest and have a record of
who/what/where I am for posterity.
Anyway, after trying to kill the
treadmill this morning I was feeling some better. But life is not easy for
people like me who can't "just let things go," or "just get over it," or "just
get along." I would guess most people like me wish we could, but for whatever
odd reason this is kinda sorta how God programmed us; and there is probably a good reason for it. I don't happen to know what that is just yet.
-------------------
My day yesterday was both up and
down.
Work continues to just suck.
Everyone ignores me except the one person who most drives me nuts. It is also way
busier than I want to be. Awhile back I asked if I could transfer to a
location that wasn't as busy - heck, I'd even take a pay cut! - and what did
they do... they added this stinking kiosk which is making my life a chaotic bear.
Apparently the kiosk is not going to replace me (at least not yet), but it is
going to require me to have to do a lot more work. You know, the exact opposite of
what I asked for.
Like that isn't bad enough, one
of the local TV stations came yesterday to film a TV commercial for my
facility. They were supposed to highlight the kiosk. The GM of our company had
asked me if I wanted to be in the commercial. I told him no. Twice! I think he
thought I would think it was neat - which just goes to show how much of a moron
he is! I detest that fucking machine and everything it stands for, and I don't
know how he could not know that I wanted no part of it!! I'm actually starting to think they're trying to make me quit. So anyway, when the cameraman
gets here, first thing he says is, so _____ (the GM) says he wants me to
get a shot of you using the kiosk. I looked at him, simply said "no," and he
wisely got my drift. He even said he didn't blame me. So he shot the stupid
commercial and left.
I do have a new person in the
adjoining office to mine (we share a bathroom). She is very nice and is only
here a few times a week. She works for the non-profit one of our owners also owns. She has a newborn baby and sometimes brings it with her
to work. I guess I don't even know if it's a boy or girl (not that I'm wrapped
up in myself or anything).
After work Jane went to church
and helped serve food on the street but I stayed home because I needed to get
the lawn mowed. It was overdue and it is supposed to rain for the rest of
eternity. I'm glad I got it done.
I also fixed our kitchen light
last night. It is one of those push-button adjustable switches, and the kids
love to play with it. It quit working last week and we kind of forgot about
it. So I swung over to Menards and got a newfangled slide switch instead. I did
blow the circuit breaker once when I accidently crossed leads on my electrical
tester. It shot sparks and the one lead welded into the wire, but no foul was
called (no harm done).
So, after assaulting the
treadmill at the Y this morning I stopped at Meijer on my way to work and bought
an 'arthritis glove.' My left hand has been hurting for awhile now. Nothing
serious, but my index and middle finger are sore a lot. I don't know if it has to do
with playing guitar for years, or it actually is arthritis, or who knows what. I
suppose it mostly means I'm just getting old.
Speaking of the treadmill
again... I was reminded this morning how meditative running is for me. The past
couple days I have so not wanted to run, but once I start it's like everything
else goes away. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a "happy spot"... but it's
better. I've gotten to where I can maintain 6-6.5 mph for an extended period and
not be too winded. I like the feel of that. I suppose if I can increase my
speed a little more, transition to outdoors, and avoid injury, a marathon
could be possible. I'd rather not think about it though, and just try to enjoy
the journey.
So, here's to another stinkin'
day. It's pouring down rain, I'm stuck at work, and my fingers hurt. That's the
guy I am. You'd think I would be used to it by now...
