I'm sure you've heard the phrase "Don't be THAT guy." Well folks, I am here to tell you that I AM "that guy."
The urban dictionary says "that guy" is the person everyone loves to hate and never wants to become. You know, they say things no one wants to hear, they over-react, they're drama queens. We are the people no one wants to be around because you're never quite sure what you're going to get. Yep... that's me. Argh.
I remember a counselor once telling me I tested high for drama. I wasn't too thrilled and told him I wished I wasn't that way. He said I needed to work on letting it out, as well as start liking myself. Yeah... still working.
So, yesterday I posted a long-ass whine about work and faith and other stuff (without mentioning much other stuff). I wrote it first thing in the morning but didn't publish it until afternoon. I spent most of the rest of the day wishing I hadn't posted it and made a number of edits into the evening. Several times I was going to take it down, but finally just decided that really is who I am, and part of why I blog is to be open and honest and have a record of who/what/where I am for posterity.
Anyway, after trying to kill the treadmill this morning I was feeling some better. But life is not easy for people like me who can't "just let things go," or "just get over it," or "just get along." I would guess most people like me wish we could, but for whatever odd reason this is kinda sorta how God programmed us; and there is probably a good reason for it. I don't happen to know what that is just yet.
My day yesterday was both up and down.
Work continues to just suck. Everyone ignores me except the one person who most drives me nuts. It is also way busier than I want to be. Awhile back I asked if I could transfer to a location that wasn't as busy - heck, I'd even take a pay cut! - and what did they do... they added this stinking kiosk which is making my life a chaotic bear. Apparently the kiosk is not going to replace me (at least not yet), but it is going to require me to have to do a lot more work. You know, the exact opposite of what I asked for.
Like that isn't bad enough, one of the local TV stations came yesterday to film a TV commercial for my facility. They were supposed to highlight the kiosk. The GM of our company had asked me if I wanted to be in the commercial. I told him no. Twice! I think he thought I would think it was neat - which just goes to show how much of a moron he is! I detest that fucking machine and everything it stands for, and I don't know how he could not know that I wanted no part of it!! I'm actually starting to think they're trying to make me quit. So anyway, when the cameraman gets here, first thing he says is, so _____ (the GM) says he wants me to get a shot of you using the kiosk. I looked at him, simply said "no," and he wisely got my drift. He even said he didn't blame me. So he shot the stupid commercial and left.
I do have a new person in the adjoining office to mine (we share a bathroom). She is very nice and is only here a few times a week. She works for the non-profit one of our owners also owns. She has a newborn baby and sometimes brings it with her to work. I guess I don't even know if it's a boy or girl (not that I'm wrapped up in myself or anything).
After work Jane went to church and helped serve food on the street but I stayed home because I needed to get the lawn mowed. It was overdue and it is supposed to rain for the rest of eternity. I'm glad I got it done.
I also fixed our kitchen light last night. It is one of those push-button adjustable switches, and the kids love to play with it. It quit working last week and we kind of forgot about it. So I swung over to Menards and got a newfangled slide switch instead. I did blow the circuit breaker once when I accidently crossed leads on my electrical tester. It shot sparks and the one lead welded into the wire, but no foul was called (no harm done).
So, after assaulting the treadmill at the Y this morning I stopped at Meijer on my way to work and bought an 'arthritis glove.' My left hand has been hurting for awhile now. Nothing serious, but my index and middle finger are sore a lot. I don't know if it has to do with playing guitar for years, or it actually is arthritis, or who knows what. I suppose it mostly means I'm just getting old.
Speaking of the treadmill again... I was reminded this morning how meditative running is for me. The past couple days I have so not wanted to run, but once I start it's like everything else goes away. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a "happy spot"... but it's better. I've gotten to where I can maintain 6-6.5 mph for an extended period and not be too winded. I like the feel of that. I suppose if I can increase my speed a little more, transition to outdoors, and avoid injury, a marathon could be possible. I'd rather not think about it though, and just try to enjoy the journey.
So, here's to another stinkin' day. It's pouring down rain, I'm stuck at work, and my fingers hurt. That's the guy I am. You'd think I would be used to it by now...