tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post1452500137569841873..comments2024-03-12T19:34:23.734-04:00Comments on Everyday with dan...: Two into onedanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-29205366697050119142014-09-29T21:24:21.516-04:002014-09-29T21:24:21.516-04:00I was on a solo climbing vacation in Colorado last...I was on a solo climbing vacation in Colorado last week. No radio in the truck, no TV in the motel, no internet, barely any conversation with anyone - just eight days of climbing, soaking in hot springs after, and eating and falling asleep at 8:30 to get up at 4:30 and do it all again. My kinda time.<br /><br />Anyway, after a few days of detox it really was some good time for introspection. Last Saturday, I was driving toward the last climb before starting to head back home, and I was thinking about how and why I come across so cynical sometimes, and it hit me how much I am actually an open and hopeful and optimistic person, but because of some life events, some that were decades ago, I have this defense shield around me (I've long said "Scratch a cynic and you uncover a wounded optimist.")<br /><br />Anyway, in there somewhere I started wondering if I could retrieve that sense of openness and wonder I had when I was young, and I just started <b>weeping</b>. For me. For the sense of wonder gone. For all the people I've hurt because I've been "Shields up." For all the things I've lost due to the same. It all came bubbling out (I probably shoulda pulled over, but the mountain highway wasn't busy at 6:00am :).<br /><br />Weirdly enough, it was very cleansing. I have been at more peace with myself and who I am since. I don't know if I can hold onto it - old habits and all that. But I am glad there is still something in me that responded to that.<br /><br />I write that because I have long sensed that we share some similarities in that regard - we wounded optimists.Jim Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02634460171128306060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-34806650072095740982014-09-25T19:45:54.540-04:002014-09-25T19:45:54.540-04:00Which also means - you care - Which also means - you care - Pastor Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09063075847474862992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-75607457771666906692014-09-25T19:44:53.460-04:002014-09-25T19:44:53.460-04:00In one word you have empathy -which means you'...In one word you have empathy -which means you're human - Pastor Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09063075847474862992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-70112264177846385712014-09-25T16:35:48.452-04:002014-09-25T16:35:48.452-04:00sorry Dan, the world doesn't know what to do w...sorry Dan, the world doesn't know what to do with someone who ACTUALLY gives a shit.MRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03543269000083131799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-15605754832498993212014-09-25T13:59:32.098-04:002014-09-25T13:59:32.098-04:00This makes so much sense. It is funning how in rea...This makes so much sense. It is funning how in reading "An Arrow Pointing to Heaven" that is the very thing they were talking about regarding Rich Mullins and it reminded me of you. You just put it into the exact words I was trying to think of yesterday. I guess it is kind of a "heavy blessing" of sort to be wired like this but I can't think of you in any other way and know that many people have benefited from you being just the way you are. Like me. :)JAHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01158413163116547799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-48880788416119198422014-09-25T10:57:14.999-04:002014-09-25T10:57:14.999-04:00Oh, also important to note that I've seen cont...Oh, also important to note that I've seen contagious emotions work on you positively, too. If that guy had come in and said he won 10 grand in the lottery and wanted to change his name to 10Kday@_______.com and went on about how it's come just at the right time to change his life for the better, I have no doubt you'd have been in a great mood the rest of the day.MRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03543269000083131799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-32398126269859486892014-09-25T09:42:46.581-04:002014-09-25T09:42:46.581-04:00Certainly depression is not your identity. And I t...Certainly depression is not your identity. And I think as soon as it becomes a "diagnosis", even a temporary one, the word gets a bad rap. I've said before that it was ironic you were condemned for the very thing that made you a good Pastor, your empathy; you just hit critical mass with the load put on you.<br /><br />That being said, most people only get sad when something happens to them directly or hits close to home. Certainly there is an abundance of sadness out there, enough to be sad the rest of your life if you open yourself up to it. I guess the difference is how much it permeates you. I think Pastors listen, sympathize, pray for those afflicted and they're off to the next person. If you take "ownership" of other people's misery that will be a heavy burden to carry indeed. I think this was the difference between you and other Pastors, that you didn't defend against the sadness but truly felt others pain. This made you a good Pastor, but the individual toll on you and your health also means that it's probably the worst job in the world for you.<br /><br />If you were the person in charge of putting down stray dogs & cats, you'd instead secretly hide them at home. Trouble is your house fills up after a while. And even though those dogs and cats aren't YOURS, people will still think you're a hoarder.MRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03543269000083131799noreply@blogger.com