tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-182831312024-03-15T11:50:12.325-04:00Everyday with dan...Random thoughts from beyond middle age - as I wonder/wander through life.danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.comBlogger5264125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-82986992387775738372024-03-15T11:49:00.000-04:002024-03-15T11:49:18.156-04:00Five things friday<p>It's here. It's really here. As you feel your way through this Friday...</p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li> Our church sings songs from <a href="https://www.portersgateworship.com/">The Porter's Gate</a>, and it turns out <span style="color: black;"><a href="https://petersoncenter.org/">The Eugene Peterson Center for Christian
Imagination</a> has partnered with The Porter's Gate and the Peterson family
to set portions of <em>The Message</em> translation to music. The singles <em>New Every Morning</em> and <em>Happy from the Inside Out</em> are available now for streaming on Spotify and Apple Music. You can catch a little video preview here: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prIw3IgaApw">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prIw3IgaApw</a></span></li><li><span style="color: black;">Do you know the <i>name</i> of your generation? You can find out <a href="https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/59963/how-do-generations-get-their-names?utm_source=chartr&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=chartr_20240313">How Do Generations Get Their Names </a>by clicking the link. I don't know if I buy that stuff anymore. Jane and I technically fit into the tail end as Baby Boomers, but we have both identified more as Gen Xers most of our lives. Nowadays I just don't think it's that easy to categorize people.</span></li><li><span style="color: black;">This morning I had a great conversation about... <i>death</i>. It kinda turned into a simultaneous wondering on <i>resistance</i>. As someone trying to live with a new kingdom perspective there are certainly things to be resisted (greed, group-think, and groping come to mind... because they all start with a g; but there's a boatload more). Yet the majority of people in our society seem most resistant to all things death and dying. Yet that is the ONE THING we are assured will happen. And I'm not so sure it's something to be dreaded in the Christian sense.</span></li><li><span style="color: black;">The above chat took place in a coffee shop I'd never been to before. <a href="https://www.daveysdeliciousbagels.com/">Davey's Delicious Bagels & Deli</a> has a super cool artsy vibe and I really liked it. Probably the main reason I'd never been there before is because I had no idea where to park! It turns out that must be a "thing" because on the front page of their website they have a map with giant arrows pointing people to their parking (in back). So I'm pondering the importance of <i>ease of access</i> (or whatever you want to call this). I mean, our church space is in another church's building and we enter through a side door and it's on the third floor. Is getting there half the battle (or fun), and is that a good or bad thing? I dunno.</span></li><li><span style="color: black;">I am also thinking on this question from <a href="https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/march-14-2024">James Clear</a>: <i>"</i></span><i>What is something you want, but you haven't asked for?"</i></li></ol><i> </i>Hey... just in case you forgot... it's <i>FRIDAY</i>! Resist those things you know won't be good for you; be open to embracing something only God could have placed in your path. ;)<span style="color: black;"></span>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-20043073932973592272024-03-14T10:46:00.001-04:002024-03-14T10:47:03.346-04:00The ablation<p>I suppose at some point I should get around to jotting down here some specifics of the ablation procedure I had done last Tuesday, March 5. It's not that I don't want to talk about it, but, yeah, I kinda/sorta would just as soon not think about it. Still, there's the posterity aspect, and someday I may need to recall this stuff (like when I need to have this done again). Plus, I know you've been dying to hear all about it!!<br /></p><p><b>WHAT I HAD DONE </b><br /></p><p>I don't fully understand much of this, but I think it was called a <u>Catheter Radiofrequency Ablation</u>. They went through my groin with tubes and wires and burned parts of my heart. Or, as the clinical notes say:</p><p><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 470.646px; transform: scaleX(1.12541);"></span></p><blockquote><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 470.646px; transform: scaleX(1.12541);">Procedure Name</span><br role="presentation" /><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 488.646px; transform: scaleX(1.05875);">1.</span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 72.705px; top: 488.646px;"> </span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 82.0717px; top: 488.646px; transform: scaleX(1.01535);">Ultrasound-guided bilateral femoral vein access</span><br role="presentation" /><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 506.646px; transform: scaleX(1.05875);">2.</span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 72.705px; top: 506.646px;"> </span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 82.0717px; top: 506.646px; transform: scaleX(1.02571);">Ultrasound-guided right femoral artery access for blood pressure monitoring</span><br role="presentation" /><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 524.646px; transform: scaleX(1.05875);">3.</span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 72.705px; top: 524.646px;"> </span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 82.0717px; top: 524.646px; transform: scaleX(1.01397);">Electrophysiology study</span><br role="presentation" /><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 542.646px; transform: scaleX(1.0475);">4.</span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 72.57px; top: 542.646px;"> </span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 81.9367px; top: 542.646px; transform: scaleX(1.01229);">Intracardiac echocardiogram</span><br role="presentation" /><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 560.646px; transform: scaleX(1.05875);">5.</span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 72.705px; top: 560.646px;"> </span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 82.0717px; top: 560.646px; transform: scaleX(0.972539);">Transseptal access x 1–Baylis versa cross</span><br role="presentation" /><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 578.646px; transform: scaleX(1.05875);">6.</span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 72.705px; top: 578.646px;"> </span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 82.0717px; top: 578.646px; transform: scaleX(1.02085);">Three-dimensional electroanatomical mapping–Abbott</span><br role="presentation" /><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 596.646px; transform: scaleX(0.9675);">7.</span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 71.61px; top: 596.646px;"> </span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 80.9767px; top: 596.646px; transform: scaleX(1.01713);">Pulmonary vein isolation–cardio focus X3 laser balloon</span><br role="presentation" /><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 614.646px; transform: scaleX(1.05875);">8.</span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 72.705px; top: 614.646px;"> </span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 82.0717px; top: 614.646px; transform: scaleX(1.03373);">Radiofrequency ablation–cavotricuspid isthmus ablation for typical atrial flutter</span><br role="presentation" /><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 60px; top: 632.646px; transform: scaleX(1.05875);">9.</span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 72.705px; top: 632.646px;"> </span><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 82.0717px; top: 632.646px; transform: scaleX(1.01987);">Manual pressure and figure-of-eight sutures for hemostasis</span></blockquote><span dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; left: 82.0717px; top: 632.646px; transform: scaleX(1.01987);"></span><p></p><p>As near as I can tell there were 23 actual ablations - whatever that means.<br /></p><p><b>WHY I HAD IT DONE</b></p><p>I was hospitalized and diagnosed with Atrial Fibrillation (AFib) on November, 14, 2023. They did a cardioversion (shocked my heart back into rhythm) on 11/15. I then wore a monitor for two weeks and it was determined that I had<i> </i><u><i>persistent </i>AFib</u>. They suggested since it was fairly early and I'm in otherwise good health, I was a good candidate for ablation.</p><p>At the time of the procedure the EP (electrophysiologist) said I also had <u>Atrial Flutter</u>, which he could fix with the ablation as well. I don't know the difference.<br /></p><p><b>THE PROCESS</b></p><p>The procedure was scheduled for Tuesday, March 5, 2024 at the Lutheran Heart Pavilion. After fasting since midnight the night before, I arrived at 5:30am with Jane holding my hand. I had preregistered and already paid the ~$3,800, so it wasn't long before they took us both back and strapped a bracelet to my arm. Then it was off to get me ready. My nurse was also named Jane, and she was super. I put on my gown, got an IV, a tech came in and shaved my front-side from neck to knees, and then I chatted with the anesthesiologist, his assistant, the EP (Dr. Rodriguez), and probably a couple other people. Right around the scheduled procedure time of 7:30am a nurse came and wheeled me down to where they did it.</p><p>The procedure room had a ton of people in it. They were all joking around and very friendly. They had me walk from my bed over to the operating table. First I sat up and they stuck monitor pads (or something) all over my back and front. People were asking me questions and everyone seemed to be talking at the same time. Finally they told me to lay down with my head on this little pink piece of foam. The anesthesiologist had told me in my room that he could give me something to help me relax before the actual anesthesia if I wanted. I told him to feel free to give me anything and everything they had! The last thing I remember is someone saying, "Okay, you can give him the good stuff," and someone else said, "He's already getting it." :)</p><p>The next thing I know I was waking up and a nurse was leaning over the side of my bed. She said they were all done and she asked me some questions (I think). Then I vaguely remember being pushed down the hall back to my room where Jane was waiting.</p><p>According to the notes <u>I arrived in the operating room at 7:30am</u>; the <u>physician arrived at 8:14am</u>; and <u>I was out of the room at 9:59am</u>. So almost exactly 2 1/2 hours (which is what they said it would be).</p><p><b>RECOVERY</b></p><p>I'm guessing I was in post-procedure recovery for about 1/2 hour coming out of the anesthesia, because I thought I got back to the room with Jane around 10:30. I remember feeling very relaxed and sleepy.</p><p>It was kind of a blur for awhile, but I remember them asking what I wanted to eat. There were several options and I chose yogurt with blueberries and granola. I remember Carrie being there because she said something like that's what I would be having at home. They also let me have coffee through a straw - which tastes different for some reason. Anyway, I remember it all tasted pretty good.</p><p>I needed to lay still for 3 hours to make sure I didn't bleed from the insertion sites. About that: for some reason I thought there would be one incision in the artery (or vein) in the groin area. What they actually did was go into BOTH SIDES of my groin, but instead of an incision they sort of just <i>punctured</i> the skin with a tube. So I had no stitches in my skin, but they did use sutures to close the artery/vein. So, I had to lay fairly still for 3 hours until they removed those sutures and made sure I wasn't bleeding. </p><p>I don't really remember much about that 3-hour waiting period. That and the incision are what I had been most concerned about, and neither was much of an issue. </p><p>At 1:30pm the nurse removed the sutures - and I didn't feel a thing! Then I had to wait another 30 minutes and as long as I could walk and everything seemed okay I was free to leave.</p><p>At 2pm the nurse accompanied me down the hall, I stopped and peed at the restroom, then we went back to my room and they removed the IV and told me I could get dressed.</p><p>By 2:30pm they were wheeling me out to the door and Jane picked me up to take me home!</p><p><b>RECUPERATING AT HOME</b></p><p>For 48 hours I was supposed to take it easy and avoid: heavy lifting (5 pounds or more), continuous stair climbing, prolonged walking, and squatting or bending for prolonged periods of time. The EP also suggested I take at least 5 days off from running, but I could otherwise resume normal life.</p><p>The rest of that first day I actually felt pretty good. I spent most of my time in the recliner and we watched TV.</p><p>I didn't sleep great the first few nights. My chest hurt and it was a little hard to breathe Wednesday and Thursday. I don't know if it was swelling from the ablation or the anesthesia (or both), but they said to expect it. It wasn't terrible, but I've never had a hard time breathing other than the couple times I've had bruised ribs. It's not fun.<br /></p><p>Thursday evening was my first venture out of the house. We went to a play the two grandsons were in. It was a bit of a chore, but actually felt good to get out. Leaving their school I felt better than I did arriving. That night was the first good sleep I'd gotten and I felt much better Friday.</p><p>I think Saturday was my first actual "walk" outside and that went well. I hadn't really had any pain in the groin area like they said I might.</p><p>Saturday night I tended bar for a concert and... that just about did me in. Being on my feet for 5 hours of activity was probably not a good way to <i>ease </i>back into things, but I survived. I had a little groin pain, and was pretty wiped out. Fortunately our church doesn't start until 11am Sunday, and that arrived early enough. After resting the rest of Sunday, though, I felt like I was almost back to normal.</p><p>Monday afternoon I did an easy 4-mile jog and it went better than expected. My legs were a little tight, but nothing other than from being a lazy slug all week.</p><p>Wednesday was an 8-mile run and it went pretty good. Again I kept at an easy pace, which was 10:15/mile and included stopping at several lights because I went from our house to downtown. I guess I did walk a tenth of a mile during the 6th or 7th mile, but the run felt fine. I was kinda wiped out after though.</p><p>This morning was 5 miles, and I did it on the treadmill at 6am because it was supposed to rain all day and I just didn't feel like that right now. Actually, it's been storming. </p><p>So far I feel like I'm back on track not only as far as general health, but maybe even the marathon at the end of April. My only concern is if my achilles tendons can deal with the week off or not, but I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic.<br /></p><p>As for whether it "worked." I don't know. And probably won't until my scheduled return visit to the doctor in June. Apparently it takes 2-3 months for the heart to fully heal and during this time I can still have AFib and flutter episodes, but that doesn't necessarily mean the procedure wasn't successful. In fact, I had an AFib episode the morning after the procedure! My resting heart rate has been running higher than it used to, and I can feel things get a little wonky from time to time. However, everything else seems to have healed up, and I feel pretty good. I don't seem to have tired spells for as long or as often, and that's maybe the biggest problem I had before. So, we'll see.</p><p>And... there you have the long and short of it, folks (if anyone is still reading). Perhaps the only thing to deal with now is the itch of chest hair growing back!<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-9735159837761383882024-03-13T09:10:00.003-04:002024-03-13T09:10:59.658-04:00Respect is a gift you offer with your eyes<p>The title of this post comes from David Brooks in his book '<a href="https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X">How to Know A Person</a>' (32). Chapter 3, on <i>illumination</i>, is a warm treat on the art of seeing others. There are two segments I want to highlight: <br /></p><p></p><blockquote>Jimmy is a pastor. When Jimmy sees a person - any person - he is seeing a creature who was made in the image of God. As he looks into each face, he is looking, at least a bit, into the face of God. When Jimmy sees a person, any person, he is also seeing a creature endowed with an immortal soul - a soul of infinite value and dignity. When Jimmy greets a person, he is also trying to live up to one of the great callings of his faith: He is trying to see that person the way Jesus would see that person. He is trying to see them with Jesus's eyes - eyes that lavish love on the meek and the lowly, the marginalized and those in pain, and on every living person. When Jimmy sees a person, he comes in with the belief that this person is so important that Jesus was willing to die for their sake. As a result, Jimmy is going to greet people with respect and reverence. ... ... If you see the people you meet as precious souls, you'll probably wind up treating them well. (31)<br /></blockquote><p></p><p>In the section on generosity...</p><p></p><blockquote><p>Dr. Ludwig Guttmann was a German Jew who escaped Nazi Germany in 1939 and found a job in a hospital in Britain that served paraplegics, mostly men injured in the war. When he first started working there, the hospital heavily sedated these men and kept them confined to their beds. Guttmann, however, didn't see the patients the way the other doctors saw them. He cut back on the sedatives, forced them out of bed, and started throwing balls at them and doing other things to get them active. As a result, he was summoned to a tribunal of his peers, where his methods were challenged.</p><p>"These are moribund cripples," one doctor asserted. "Who do you think they are?"</p><p><i>"They are the best of men,"</i> Guttmann replied.</p><p>It was his generosity of spirit that changed how he defined them. He continued organizing games, first at the hospital, then for paraplegics around the nation. In 1960 this led to the Paralympic Games. (35)<br /></p></blockquote><p></p><p><br /></p><p>I don't know about you but... I would like to <i>see</i> more; and<i> </i>better. </p><p>This was a good chapter.<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-67813675293864809102024-03-12T10:04:00.000-04:002024-03-12T10:04:01.017-04:00The first run - again<p>You remember that first time, right? Whether it's running, playing an instrument, speaking in front of others, asking a girl out, sex... whatever. Sometimes it's the best; sometimes not. Either way there's a certain anxiousness and all these "what ifs." Well, this wasn't <i>exactly</i> the first, first time. However, yesterday was my first run after having the catheter ablation procedure last Tuesday. I was a bit nervous about how it would go.<br /></p><p>The doctor told me to take at least five days off from running, so that's what I did. Normally I run on T-W-TH and Saturday, but I was itching to give it a try; plus I thought maybe it would be better to allow a day between the first one and the eight miles I'm supposed to do Wednesday. So, when Jane determined to do her run after work (instead of before), I decided to join her. It was a beautiful sunny 60+ degrees and it felt nice to be in shorts and a tee again - Outside! </p><p>I went the called-for four miles at a nice easy pace (something like 10:23/m). At first it felt awkward, which often happens anyway. I didn't really even think about my breathing, and had decided not to check my heart rate until afterward. As we got going... a couple blocks into it my legs and motion started feeling "normal" again. Jane only needed to do three miles, and I kicked it up just a notch for a bit and did feel a twinge in my chest once, but I don't think it was anything. All told, it felt pretty good. My heart rate never got over 147, so I wasn't even close to maxing out.<br /></p><p>My legs felt it more than my lungs, but by this morning I didn't have any stiffness at all. In fact, even though I didn't sleep very well, I think my heart rate actually went back lower than it had been since the procedure. I normally have a resting heart rate in the mid-forties, and it has been running in the upper fifties and low sixties since the procedure. This morning I felt calm, rested, my blood pressure was back down (114/65), my heart was more of a gentle purr than a thump. </p><p>We will see how the eight miles goes tomorrow before I get too excited. I have held off on starting back with the two days a week of weight lifting for now - one thing at a time. Hopefully I can work my way back without an injury and pick up the marathon training minus just the one week. Fortunately this Saturday's long run is only thirteen miles. Next Saturday is nineteen!! </p><p>Here we go!<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-51071850278662602352024-03-11T11:09:00.000-04:002024-03-11T11:09:40.746-04:00Diminishers vs illuminators<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhum33FHPzUqNdnUhdrSwiWNjG5_w51eu4ZGbvAYCLpEhVAA6P5FPVv6mR4gdkoAsyhJW0i77UboLB124nd0rC9u4aAaBAFSkTbXlDrAYchc6NYDURT2iGK6d_6f7-1UdmyeRgjVv1YbVDSYKJyLVqa8cjUhpAyk7HLtLJsUbx7pS7a0m8Xm7zawg/s445/How%20to%20know%20a%20person.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="445" data-original-width="293" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhum33FHPzUqNdnUhdrSwiWNjG5_w51eu4ZGbvAYCLpEhVAA6P5FPVv6mR4gdkoAsyhJW0i77UboLB124nd0rC9u4aAaBAFSkTbXlDrAYchc6NYDURT2iGK6d_6f7-1UdmyeRgjVv1YbVDSYKJyLVqa8cjUhpAyk7HLtLJsUbx7pS7a0m8Xm7zawg/s320/How%20to%20know%20a%20person.jpg" width="211" /></a></div><br />I've begun reading '<a href="https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X">How to Know A Person</a>' by David Brooks. It seems like a really important book at this time in history where AI is taking over and the world - especially in the U.S. - is so polarized.<p></p><p>As Brooks points out in chapter 1: "If we want to begin repairing the big national ruptures, we have to learn to do the small things well." At some point we've got to look one another in the eyes and ask if we want to help things get better or not.</p><p>In this first chapter he talks about Diminishers and Illuminators. <b>Diminishers</b> use people and make them feel small and unseen. <b>Illuminators</b>, on the other hand, have "a persistent curiosity about other people. They have been trained or have trained themselves in the craft of understanding others. They know what to look for and how to ask the right questions at the right time. <i>They shine the brightness of their care on people and make them feel bigger, deeper, respected, lit up</i>." To sum up, they make you want to be a better version of yourself.</p><p>Then he tells these two stories:</p><p></p><blockquote><p>A biographer of the novelist E.M. Forster wrote, "To speak to him was to be seduced by an inverse charisma, a sense of being listened to with such intensity that you had to be your most honest, sharpest, and best self." Imagine how good it would be to be that guy.</p><p>Perhaps you know the story that is sometimes told of Jennie Jerome, who later became Winston Churchill's mother. It's said that when she was young, she dined with the British statesman William Gladstone and left thinking he was the cleverest person in England. Later she dined with Gladstone's great rival, Benjamin Disraeli, and left that dinner thinking<i> she</i> was the cleverest person on England. It's nice to be like Gladstone, but it's better to be like Disraeli.</p></blockquote><p></p><p><br /></p><p>So far it's a pretty good read. Definitely something I need, because for as much as I would like to be an illuminator instead of a diminisher, it does not come naturally to me. ;)</p><p>The world needs more illuminators.<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-25080800696602481092024-03-08T08:45:00.002-05:002024-03-08T08:45:47.715-05:00Five things friday<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBfyDfN0WoPuBWPLqzYyIja78oo-qWGqZnDWMe7mhH_yQHnbMykmOwK7QIpmMCk_2DSq6k0tCnCMDpDRgJjnPwI8fDBgELySbjWkfCLG-8qAepj6sx1k45gryo8nRDuA_6MYivMGrmxfLPj8vp5FJ1aGChSRuxNnzK_zBwW5WdQVl2HK2xGmWYpw/s2048/3.5.24%20after%20ablation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBfyDfN0WoPuBWPLqzYyIja78oo-qWGqZnDWMe7mhH_yQHnbMykmOwK7QIpmMCk_2DSq6k0tCnCMDpDRgJjnPwI8fDBgELySbjWkfCLG-8qAepj6sx1k45gryo8nRDuA_6MYivMGrmxfLPj8vp5FJ1aGChSRuxNnzK_zBwW5WdQVl2HK2xGmWYpw/s320/3.5.24%20after%20ablation.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>Even being mostly dead (at least in appearance) won't keep me from bringing you the FFF...<p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>Yes, that's me following the <b>catheter ablation</b> procedure earlier this week. You can thank my wife for snapping this while I was still enjoying La-la land. I will share details another day, but all is well. I do have to say, though, the weirdest thing may be adjusting to having been shaved from my neck to my knees! Now on to more important things...</li><li>I recently learned two new terms: <span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x1f6kntn xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u x1yc453h" dir="auto"><b><i>CHRINO</i></b> refers to those who are <i>Christian in Name Only</i>, and </span><b><em>EINO</em></b> stands for <em>Evangelical In Name Only</em>. Yeah, that's undoubtedly always been a thing, but maybe never more so than now! Seems more and more folks want to be <i>known</i> for living a certain way, without necessarily having to... live that way.</li><li><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x1f6kntn xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u x1yc453h" dir="auto">Personally, I don't have much use for <b>Google Docs</b> in my life right now. However, I know many people do use it, and I might have to again someday too. Here's a helpful list of <a href="https://freelancebold.com/blog/google-docs-upgrades?utm_source=ForTheInterestedNewsletter">16 Google Doc Tips & Hacks</a>. H/t to <a href="https://joshspector.com/">Josh Spector</a>.</span></li><li><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x1f6kntn xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u x1yc453h" dir="auto">Are you thinking of writing/publishing a book? James Clear is promoting <a href="https://authorsequity.com/"><b>Authors Equity</b></a>. He says they are</span> "a book publisher that will pay authors more profits
than traditional publishers and provide better distribution than
self-publishing options." He's even become an investor! Who wouldn't want to get paid more, get
paid faster, and get to create books on your own terms—all while
getting the editorial skill and mainstream distribution that comes with company behind you? <br /></li><li>Basically, we all suck... at least at this. William Ickes, a leading scholar on <b>how accurate people are at perceiving what other people are thinking</b>, finds that "strangers who are in the midst of their first conversation read each other accurately only about 20 percent of the time and close friends and family members do so only 35 percent of the time." Ickes also says that the longer many couples are married, the less accurate they are at reading each other (we fail to consider how people change over time). I found this innaresting tidbit in the David Brooks book '<a href="https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X">How To Know A Person</a>' - or, in this case, how not to).</li></ol><p>Okay, friends, sweet dreams on the weekend stuffs you have planned. That's it for now! <br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-82767260323380769762024-03-04T10:31:00.000-05:002024-03-04T10:31:45.125-05:00Seventeen-mile saturday<p>This past Saturday was my last long run. 17 miles. At least the last one until I have the ablation procedure this week.</p><p>I'd been dreading it, but it was pretty good. Jane did the first 7 miles with me (as part of her half marathon training). I think I did the Lower Huntington to Bluffton Rd to the Foster Park Greenway and back around twice (plus a little finagling here and there for extra miles). I stopped at home after the first lap and refilled my water bottle and took a leak. It took just under 3 hours for a 10:30-ish pace. I went through two 21-ounce jugs of LMNT-spiked water and three GU energy gels. I was happy enough with things, mostly because I didn't have any injuries, blisters, or incidents. Afterward my left achilles was kinda sore, but I don't think it's anything.</p><p>I am now starting week 11 of my 18-week marathon training plan... and it's about to go to pot! This is supposed to be my highest mileage week, and I'm only going to get in one run - if I do it today; which is typically a day off. After the ablation I'm supposed to take a week to ten days off, and it remains to be seen how I'll feel after that. So... we'll have to see. There's no way I can make up for missing all these miles. Plus I'm not really looking forward to having someone cut into my groin and stick a bunch of wires and tubes up there all the way to my heart; oh, and then make some burn marks for good measure. ... ... I dunno. I'm a little nervous.<br /></p><p>At any rate, I tried to look back through some previous 17-milers and some were not so good and some were okay. I'm at least glad this last one was a good run. I'd have hated for it to be like the year I had to walk at mile 11. </p><p>Today I will maybe do 4 or 5 miles - I haven't really decided yet. It's like a day that doesn't count because I'm not sure how my legs will feel on the other side of all this. I'm probably only doing a run at all to try to keep my mind off things. </p><p>At any rate, don't be surprised if this is the only post all week. On the other hand, there could just as likely be a million more. </p><p>I feel kinda like I'm off to see the Wizard...<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-54155709302812545162024-03-01T08:20:00.000-05:002024-03-01T08:20:19.412-05:00Five things friday<p>You know what day it is (and don't forget it is now March also)... <br /></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>I was chatting with a friend at the gym yesterday and it turns out his dad was having the same procedure (ablation) that day that I'm scheduled to have next week. Small world; or popular procedure.<br /></li><li>I won a free book! I hardly ever enter contests - especially online. However, the <a href="https://englewoodreview.org/">Englewood Review of Books</a> is run by a friend/acquaintance and they were having a free giveaway of a book I wanted to get... so I entered... and I was selected to get a free copy of David Fitch's new book<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reckoning-Power-Church-Fails-Wrong/dp/1587434156"> Reckoning with Power: Why The Church Fails When It's on the Wrong Side of Power</a>! It made my day.</li><li>Speaking of books, yesterday I started reading <a href="https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X">How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen</a>, by David Brooks. Our pastor is reading it and he recommended it for the upcoming teaching series I'm involved in. I've read many of David's articles and like his writing, so I'm looking forward to reading this as I recover from my heart procedure.</li><li>And, what the hey, let's just make this a three-book Friday. I recently added Brian McLaren's <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250893275/?coliid=I12VAPSXCA8CQX&colid=1QDBZOY72SHWJ&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it">Life After Doom: Wisdom and Courage For A World Falling Apart</a> to my amazon wish list. Not only is it being released on our wedding anniversary date, but it looks like something I really, really need to hear. Plus, I haven't read a McLaren book in awhile. He had a huge impact on my journey a number of years ago (that 'New Kind of Christian' trilogy was amazing) and I've kinda lost track of him.</li><li>"It is the most counterintuitive aspect of Christianity, that we are declared right with God not once we begin to get our act together but once we collapse into honest acknowledgment that we never will." -Dane Ortlund</li></ol><p> And there ya have it. Have a great day, folks! Btw, what are you reading, or wanting to read??<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-43287208128238381452024-02-29T10:04:00.004-05:002024-02-29T10:04:51.856-05:00The worst weather for running (or some such contradiction)<p>I used to think running in the cold would be unbearable. However, there are plenty of studies that show it's actually good for us to be out in cold weather (supposedly -18F is the point where it's *too* cold). Somewhat the same is running in the rain. I find both to often be rather exhilarating, actually. And, personally, I don't even mind the heat if I'm used to it and can stay hydrated.</p><p>Wind, though... that's the worst. It throws off your form, the body tightens up leaving you sore afterward, and it can suck the air right out of your lungs! Even worse is a cold wind. The coup de grace is a cold wind in the rain! </p><p>My least favorite marathon was the 2022 Indy Monumental when it was raining and there was a wind advisory. It was just brutal. I believe I shared before about being with a group trying to climb a hill and the gusts were so bad we all just stopped at the same time and dejectedly walked to flat ground.<br /></p><p>Yesterday I had an 8-mile run scheduled. It rained in the morning, then turned to snow in the afternoon. I managed to find a mostly dry window between (a little sleet before the snow), but the wind was ferocious. My first mile was directly<i> into</i> it, and I was freezing and thought several times about just turning around and crawling under a blanket. Once I turned down Bluffton Road it wasn't so bad, plus there's a slight downhill grade. I meandered a bit down the Foster Park greenway and it was almost kind of nice... until I turned around! Ugh. The next three miles were a bit of a challenge, but once I got to the final mile, with the wind at my back, what had been the worst one way was the best going home.</p><p>Today I'm a bit sore from fighting the gales, so I'm presently procrastinating about my four mile jog. At least the sun is shining and the flags are standing still. I suppose it's about time...</p><p>I do have to say, though, it might actually be the worst weather that makes for the best feeling when it's done. I suppose there's a metaphor for life about the sense of accomplishment.</p><p>So, what is it you dread doing right now? You never know, it could be the best part of your day! Sometimes you just gotta... and it's okay. :)<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-18159451624700252232024-02-27T11:21:00.003-05:002024-02-27T11:21:53.860-05:00Happier with h.e.a.l.<p>Can you train yourself to be happier? Well, apparently there is new research saying that very thing is psychologically possible.</p><p><a href="https://getpocket.com/explore/item/science-says-it-s-possible-to-train-yourself-to-be-happier-here-s-how-to-do-it?utm_source=pocket-newtab-en-us">This article</a> (from 2022) suggests the <b>"HEAL Method"</b> to happiness:</p><p><b></b></p><blockquote><p><b>1. <u>H</u>ave the enjoyable experience</b></p><p>This can be by actually doing something enjoyable, or even thinking about something you've done or someone who cares about you.</p><p><b>2. <u>E</u>nrich the experience through these sub-steps</b></p><p>“Focus on multiple aspects of the experience, including its meaning,
your perceptions and sensations, the way it feels and taking action.
Increase the novelty of the experience so that it sticks out more in
your mind and heighten the personal relevance of the experience by
delving into your feelings about it.”</p><p><b>3. <u>A</u>bsorb the experience</b></p><p>"For example, after a night out with friends, spend some time reflecting
on how socializing made you feel, what particular parts you enjoyed and
what you gained from the experience."</p><p><b><b>4. <u>L</u>ink positive and negative material</b></b></p><p>“Focus on something positive even while you’re aware of negative
material in the background,” suggest the researchers. “For example,
become more involved in the film you’re watching while still noticing
that your dread of the coming work day continues to persist. The
positive should ultimately drown out the negative in this step.”
</p></blockquote><p> </p><p>Honestly, I don't know how I feel about some of this stuff. I mean, as a follower of Jesus, I'm not sure exactly where happiness is supposed to fit into the equation. Not that we should be in a constant state of sorrow, but maybe the manufacture of good feelings isn't all it's cracked up to be. I don't know.</p><p>That said, though, I can see some value here. For instance, I've mentioned before about how I can get while watching my grandkids sporting events. I don't much like myself when cynicism creeps in and I'm the grouchy old man in the stands.</p><p>So this past weekend as I watched my granddaughter play basketball I tried to change that. I did <u><i>have</i></u> a positive experience. It was fun. I tried to <u><i>enrich</i></u> the experience by keeping in mind my role as being one of support and encouragement not only for my granddaughter but the team and school as a whole. Afterward I <u><i>absorbed</i></u> the experience by looking through pictures and reliving the joy of the occasion and how it made me and everyone involved feel. Then I <u><i>linked</i></u> positive and negative by reflecting on how, even though her team lost and it was a trying circumstance, it was such a good effort and it really was more enjoyable for me being supportive rather than being grumpy. It seemed to be an enjoyable experience in spite of some unfortunate events going on around it (two girls got suspended before the final game). </p><p>Meh, who knows. Sometimes I think I can get carried away with things like this, but I can also get carried away with what is or isn't supposed to be "the right thing to do." Maybe the best thing is to just not get so carried away. :)<b> </b> </p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-66573248642675122072024-02-26T14:23:00.000-05:002024-02-26T14:23:40.379-05:00One love (movie)<p>We went to an actual movie theater for the first time in I don't know how long! It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and we decided, "What the heck, let's go see the '<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Marley:_One_Love">Bob Marley movie</a>.'" </p><p>We've been fans/followers since the album <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exodus_(Bob_Marley_and_the_Wailers_album)">Exodus</a> came out in the late 1970s. It was and still is a favorite. For some reason I also always remember reading a book on <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rastafari">Rastafarianism</a> either as I ended high school or just after. It was one of the few books I remember buying at the time. I suppose the fact my lovely wife's initials are J.A.H. has also endeared us to the<i> movement</i>. </p><p>As for the movie <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Marley:_One_Love">Bob Marley: One Love</a>... I really, really<i> wanted</i> this to be a good movie that did not disappoint. However, I feel this critic aptly summed it up as "a sanitized take on an icon." Here's a snippet from <a href="https://www.cityam.com/bob-marley-one-love-review-a-sanitised-take-on-an-icon/">their full review</a>:<br /></p><p></p><blockquote>Marley’s status as an icon is rightly celebrated, as is his artistry,
meaning this will receive a warm reception to hard core fans. However,
the absence of the grittier elements of his legacy means this isn’t the
whole story. </blockquote><p></p><p>Yeah... it's not like it was a<i> bad</i> movie... but I feel he did not receive his full due as a revolutionary and was hoping it would dig a little deeper. I suppose that's how these things go though.</p><p>It was still a nice way to spend an afternoon with the one I love, reminisce a bit about our past, and take in some great reggae music. Certainly I was hoping for a bit more, but it's not like that should be dismissed... and maybe Bob would have been cool if that were enough for everyone...<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-9375171361189114802024-02-23T12:46:00.002-05:002024-02-23T13:11:06.143-05:00Five things friday<p>How can it be Friday already? Of course you <i>know</i> the answer... It comes after Thursday, which comes after Wednesday, which... yada yada. Anyway, here's what's rattling 'round my noggin' this morning:</p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li> I had a great conversation with a friend on the topic of - friendship (even though the stupid coffee shop didn't open until 9am!). My question: <i>Do old white guys have anything to offer?</i> Are we the reason it's so difficult anymore? Is our "place" now to simply shut up and get out of the way, or is that shirking our responsibility of imparting learned experience? Is<i> wisdom</i> even a thing anymore (does anyone have any/ has anyone ever had any?)? It's a hard place to be - for everyone (I think). My friend suggested we <b>approach friendship as art</b>. I think that's a great way of thinking about it! How does an artist approach a work? Perhaps stepping back and pondering... which, you know, kinda sounds like how Jesus often approached things (again, in my opinion, that is). Lots to wonder about...</li><li>It's on my mind a lot. I'm beginning to brace myself that even though I am now at the halfway point in my marathon training schedule...<b> it's probably not going to happen</b>. For me. The more I read about the upcoming catheter ablation (which I'm trying not to do), the more convinced I am that it will be next to impossible (or at least highly inadvisable) to attempt a marathon six weeks later. Not that training is ever wasted, but my concern is what happens next... (and I apologize for deleting the previous #2 and replacing it with this - trying to minimize controversy here).<br /></li><li>Apparently President Biden canceled 1.2 Billion dollars in federal student debt this week. I have no idea how that works or what it means, but I thought it funny how one publication noted: <b>"Congrats to those <i>three</i> students."</b> Lol</li><li>Some items of note from <a href="https://thefridayupdate.org/?rh_ref=7ff20d6d&sl_campaign=MF0ea6ed0f6268">TFU</a>: 1) F1 > F2 = SQ means: if the fear of change (F1) is
greater than the fear of not changing (F2), the Status Quo will prevail. 2)<i> Looksmaxxing</i> = the goal of men going under the knife to get a chiseled face. 3) <i>Boy sober = </i>when women choose to avoid men.</li><li>From Henri Nouwen's 'The Way of the Heart' (64): <i>"...<b>silence of the heart is much more important than silence of the mouth</b>... Silence is primarily a quality of the heart that leads to ever-growing charity." </i></li></ol> There are so many things going on in the world today and all around us... I keep coming back to how terrible I am, and how much I long to be better at... silence (of the heart); learning to be still. It's work (for me). Do you think it's worth it?? <br />danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-52572120570670717122024-02-22T10:14:00.000-05:002024-02-22T10:14:31.556-05:00Tree trimming<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2kCIVsq3T4fqkdYoxI7znwqf7VFM8s0KtZV4kNhkTP3uGH7hBJ29ZyYQlLjtz0gDFa4iEWCOKDw5IEqkA56yi6Y7ORqiXMtCmp0ee9-DM6tc48Na8r0gv8kH8hRj6cRoCw7UlpNGcNkRlY8HpRkuQfiG1Fns4wRCa-tnXqouqgv2Q5ewwcfBVA/s2048/tree%20trimming%202%202.21.24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2kCIVsq3T4fqkdYoxI7znwqf7VFM8s0KtZV4kNhkTP3uGH7hBJ29ZyYQlLjtz0gDFa4iEWCOKDw5IEqkA56yi6Y7ORqiXMtCmp0ee9-DM6tc48Na8r0gv8kH8hRj6cRoCw7UlpNGcNkRlY8HpRkuQfiG1Fns4wRCa-tnXqouqgv2Q5ewwcfBVA/s320/tree%20trimming%202%202.21.24.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />We had two trees trimmed in our back yard yesterday. Of course I forgot to get a 'before' pic, and didn't feel right taking any 'during' pics. So both these are what they look like now after the fact. <p></p><p>This had been on my to-do list for... yeah, several years. Suffice to say this was perhaps my most-procrastinated project ever. I know. I'm not proud.<br /></p><p>Actually, it wasn't entirely my fault. It's not easy finding someone to do tree work anymore. I called two companies that had good ratings and I never received a response. Finally I called Marvin - who has a giant sign in his yard a couple blocks away - and he got back to me within the hour. He was here the next day with a quote, and since it's the 'off-season' was able to do it whenever I wanted (plus at an off-season price).</p><p>Originally I hoped to have like the top 1/3 of both these trees removed, so we would still get good shade in the summer. However, Marvin suggested removing some of the lower branches growing sideways or downward that posed a greater risk of falling on the house and/or power line and preserving the sturdiest branches straight up that are the main part of the tree. That made sense, plus they use "climbers" instead of a bucket truck so it would have been near impossible to top these trees in the limited space we have. </p><p>Not only did I have to call a tree trimmer, but Marvin also suggested I call the power company and have them drop the line from the pole to my house. He said they could work around it if need be, but it was a lot safer doing it beforehand and would maybe save having to pay to have them reconnect if it were to accidentally get taken down by a limb (they do it for free if you schedule it before). So I made TWO phone calls! Whew.</p><p>The day of the work (yesterday): The power company was set to disconnect our power at 8:30am. I ran my 7 miles at the gym and hurried home to get ready. However the guy was here at 8! That was fine, but I wasn't able to get a shower when I planned to. Anyway, it was near 8:30 when he was done, and then I got a text from Marvin that his "climber" went to the ER that morning, so he was waiting on his second climber. He said he would be there around 9:30. Shortly after that Marvin and his wife showed up, along with a pickup pulling a flat-bed trailer with three other guys. I believe the first limb was dropped at 10:10am. </p><p>There was one climber and the other two guys and Marvin's wife did cleanup on the ground. Marvin himself had just had carpel tunnel surgery, so he was on the ground supervising the climber. They didn't have a chipper, but instead just loaded all the branches and downed logs onto the trailer. I couldn't believe they got it all in one load.</p><p>I had a lunch meeting at 11:30, and when I got back at 12:45 the climber was done and gone, the power company had returned to reconnect the electricity, and the ground crew was just cleaning up. I wrote them a check for the agreed-upon $1850 and they were gone before 2pm. That went way quicker than I expected.</p><p>I'd say everything went okay. It was a little nerve-racking listening to big limbs thud on the ground, and a couple times I heard scrape-age on the side of the house; one big limb was tied off on a rope and back-swung into the sliding-glass door, but nothing was damaged. I still wish the trees weren't so tall, but I'm not really in the mood to pay someone else to bring a truck in now and top them. I also didn't really want to lose that much shade, but it will be nice not having to pick up as many sticks and worrying quite as much about limbs on the house or power line. So, all in all, that part of it went well.</p><p>Personally... ugh. I was nervous as a cat about this. Not only the tree work, but the power disconnect too. It seems any time things like this are done there is almost always something that <i>comes up</i>. Plus I felt kinda like I was all alone in this endeavor, and I don't do well on my own. On top of that I was not feeling great. I haven't slept for crap in days, my heart rate had been high and heavy (which always makes it difficult to sleep) and my blood pressure had been up a little. In addition to the physical I've also been dealing with some mental stuff in regard to communication and loneliness... and I was a wreck. I didn't sleep much again last night and just lay on the couch totally exhausted. Finally I noticed I couldn't hear or feel my heart pounding at least, and wonder if I just wore myself out.</p><p>Today it is raining (unlike the beautifully sunny 60F we had yesterday). I lifted weights early like usual and intended to run outside at 8. I just can't get into 45 degrees in the rain though, so I'm still just sitting here. </p><p>I'm glad the tree work is done - though I will still worry about limbs falling on our house, the power line, or the neighbors house or fence (and they would likely do more damage now). I continue to feel up and down physically (and it seems more down now than it used to). I'm tired. I've got one of those 'gut feelings' that I don't like. And... I just don't like feeling like I'm alone. I feel kinda like this tree looks. All by myself, exposed and vulnerable. </p><p>Such is life, I suppose. We never know when a part of us will be lopped off. And so I've once again managed to turn something as simple as trimming trees into a sad yarn about my pathetic life. You're welcome. Just be glad YOU don't have to live with me and my brain...<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrl6j1H-uj8EhrAJZijr21Ez8OQQTYmiThebikjOYuKeCzHTpKpnZJcZ-FC3O5FDE7QOqYpHfw6hKFBYTWP0HHCH2uSo8ycAUB3sCqpi1xSXvFND8dDhq3e4jo9Sv6cAimF9vsN6V7BdSsI7_t2IQMFZ2tpC4TpTxR9ZoQKxylCZ86btBm4FDVHw/s2048/tree%20trimming%201%202.21.24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1538" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrl6j1H-uj8EhrAJZijr21Ez8OQQTYmiThebikjOYuKeCzHTpKpnZJcZ-FC3O5FDE7QOqYpHfw6hKFBYTWP0HHCH2uSo8ycAUB3sCqpi1xSXvFND8dDhq3e4jo9Sv6cAimF9vsN6V7BdSsI7_t2IQMFZ2tpC4TpTxR9ZoQKxylCZ86btBm4FDVHw/s320/tree%20trimming%201%202.21.24.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-58665789960524547482024-02-21T08:08:00.000-05:002024-02-21T08:08:09.885-05:00Who is the honest broker and why you should care<p>Who is the honest broker? His name is <a href="https://www.tedgioia.com/">Ted Gioia</a>. Click on his name for his website, or go <a href="https://www.tedgioia.com/bio">HERE</a> for his full bio. This is the sum-up:</p><h2 class="preFade fadeIn" style="transition-delay: 0.0988235s; transition-duration: 0.4s; transition-timing-function: ease; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ted Gioia is a cultural critic, music historian, record producer, and jazz pianist. He has published 12 books, translated into 9 languages, and is author of the popular Substack newsletter <a href="https://www.honest-broker.com"><em>The Honest Broker</em></a>. </h2><p>That first little bit there (cultural critic) is why I think you should care.</p><p>I don't know if you're a <a href="https://substack.com/">substack</a> reader or not. I follow a few people, and though I don't really want to, I will likely be opening mine up to the public one of these days (why can't we all just blog again?). But if you want to KNOW stuff... you should read Ted's <a href="https://www.honest-broker.com/"><i>The Honest Broker</i></a> (not to be confused with someone else who also has a substack by the same name). You can get the app or just insert your email on the link right back there.</p><p>Or, let's say you don't want to do that... then at least check out these two posts by Ted:</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/tedgioia/p/i-ask-seven-heretical-questions-about?r=1n32p6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email">"I Ask Seven Heretical Questions About Progress"</a></li><li><a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/tedgioia/p/the-state-of-the-culture-2024?r=1n32p6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email">"The State of the Culture, 2024"</a></li></ul><p>I almost guarantee both will raise your blood pressure and/or send you into a state of depression (well, maybe not, but you've been warned). Lemme just drop this sample slide in here from <i>The State of the Culture</i>:</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2YuG6aqktieUnvyvq0WsXcZlT6lBMR9hJ_w5jMs3JCHcPwyCekNILy1GNy1_K2E9VAQ2FGhS5xWoa1XMiJ9Kky-gyabh3aLGEBK8Qf6m4FQv5g7QjWcSC25gfnoSp3tbKB5Tyxj63s2p3doSiZACHzHP0SE43zJVs1GdhQjOvMQ8L62UFxyeVwg/s1456/dope.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="835" data-original-width="1456" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2YuG6aqktieUnvyvq0WsXcZlT6lBMR9hJ_w5jMs3JCHcPwyCekNILy1GNy1_K2E9VAQ2FGhS5xWoa1XMiJ9Kky-gyabh3aLGEBK8Qf6m4FQv5g7QjWcSC25gfnoSp3tbKB5Tyxj63s2p3doSiZACHzHP0SE43zJVs1GdhQjOvMQ8L62UFxyeVwg/s320/dope.webp" width="320" /></a></div> <p></p><p>Yeah, we are all addicts, or slowly making our way there. What's happening ain't pretty. THAT is really why you should care.<br /></p><p>So, now you know all that.</p><p>You're welcome. :)<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-84649231292018806712024-02-20T09:16:00.001-05:002024-02-20T09:16:06.968-05:00Life together<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYVZPATzHrR3HP7OVCfruBG7aNDviMbx6jUJM4voK-OONE1mGwU0XUKagpAIVvCrz0iaRyAA1xsvBzCk8-nZuFYaKLM6kuSARYS26okV4HXgq-bdqayHVPwlZM2Fx6pzXIXuqxEhddE9FHp7WtmNXOJ5T7-Hy7JROzIE6r4XSgDWK6NXIkv_KgUQ/s499/life%20together.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="327" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYVZPATzHrR3HP7OVCfruBG7aNDviMbx6jUJM4voK-OONE1mGwU0XUKagpAIVvCrz0iaRyAA1xsvBzCk8-nZuFYaKLM6kuSARYS26okV4HXgq-bdqayHVPwlZM2Fx6pzXIXuqxEhddE9FHp7WtmNXOJ5T7-Hy7JROzIE6r4XSgDWK6NXIkv_KgUQ/s320/life%20together.jpg" width="210" /></a></div><br />I finished Dietrich Bonhoeffer's <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Life-Together-Exploration-Christian-Community/dp/0060608528"> Life Together</a> in the wee hours of the morning (I couldn't sleep). It was originally published in 1939 (German), and was published in English in 1954 by John W. Doberstein.<p></p><p>And... I gotta be honest... I'd heard a lot of hype about this work over the years. I <i>expected</i> to really like it (and not just because it's only 122 pages). I WANTED to like it! Maybe it was my foul mood, or the archaic language, but it did not match the blurb on the linked Amazon site in my opinion. I was disappointed.</p><p>As someone else summarized, <i>"</i><span class="ILfuVd" lang="en"><span class="hgKElc"><i>He aims to
describe the nature of Christian community through five concepts and
devotes a chapter to each: Community, The Day with Others, The Day
Alone, Ministry, and Confession and Communion."</i> That's an apt description.<br /></span></span></p><p><span class="ILfuVd" lang="en"><span class="hgKElc">Certainly it is not without any substance. I thought this sort of set the tone for not only this work, but Bonhoeffer's life in general: <br /></span></span></p><p><span class="ILfuVd" lang="en"><span class="hgKElc"></span></span></p><blockquote>"Bonhoeffer was born in a family of seven children in Breslau, in what is now East Germany. He grew up, however, in Berlin, where his father, a noted physician, was the first to occupy a chair of psychiatry in Germany. From his father, as he wrote in his last letter from prison, he learned, what characterizes all that he wrote, an insistent realism, a <i>'turning away from the phraseological to the real.'</i> For him Christianity could never be merely intellectual theory, doctrine divorced from life, or mystical emotion, but always it must be responsible, obedient action, the discipleship of Christ in every situation of concrete everyday life, personal and public. And it was this that led him in the end to prison and death..." (8)</blockquote><p></p><p> This clip from pp.26-27 under the heading <i>'Not an Ideal but a Divine Reality'</i> also hit home for me:</p><p></p><blockquote>"Innumerable times a whole Christian community has broken down because it had sprung from a wish dream... He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial... God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious..."</blockquote><p></p><p> </p><p>Meh, I don't know, it's not that the book was bad... it was just so difficult to read. I'll also admit that my expectations were likely a tad high as well. So, I'm glad I read it, but I'm also glad it's been moved to the 'finished' pile...<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-19455568181845578892024-02-19T12:09:00.001-05:002024-02-20T09:16:24.128-05:00Weekend trip to buda<p>Driving there it dawned on me that we have lived more of our
lives elsewhere than we did here. While I do still love the countryside
view, this explains why it is no longer "home." I don't feel welcome,
comfortable, or at all a part of these people. I am strange, and a
stranger... and it's a bit sad. Such is life, I suppose.</p><p>Anyway,
we left The Fort mid-afternoon Friday and headed into the driving wind,
snow, and sleet until it finally let up just before the Gary-Joliet
stretch. As we dodged I-80 potholes the skies cleared and we didn't have
to drive after dark for too long. It was an uneventful four and one
half hour-ish trip.</p><p>Saturday morning Jane headed to her brother's
house - which was the reason for the trip on this particular weekend. It
was his 70th birthday. She was there the entire day. I went to Kewanee
and got some furnace filters for my mom, did a four mile run, and
stopped to wish him a happy birthday at one point too. Everyone seems to
keep their homes very warm, and the brother's is dark with the curtains
closed at all times. Mom warmed up potato soup for us for both lunch
and dinner. We did also watch the Illini-Maryland men's basketball game
in the evening (which was fortunately a win).</p><p>Sunday morning we were on the road at 9am (their time) and made an equally easy voyage back here.</p><p>These trips aren't a lot of fun anymore. I rarely see anyone other than my mom (which is my own fault, I know). So I'm sure some of it is imagined, but sometimes you can almost feel the racism, trumpism, and cynicism in your bones. And it's not like I ever set out to be <i>different</i>, or that I think I'm any better than anyone (God knows I'm way worse). It just seems like being there makes me not like who I am. I don't know why that is.<br /></p>I suppose until I
can one day perhaps grow up and get over myself, or the inevitable lack
of reason exists for making this trek, it will continue to be... what
it is.<p> </p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-88384577601195636152024-02-16T12:00:00.001-05:002024-02-16T12:00:38.658-05:00Five things friday<p>Yeah, this seems like a good weekly rhythm to get into. Here's the weekly dose I know you've been holding your breath for...</p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li> I did a <b>15-mile run</b> this morning and it started snowing about two miles from the end. It was nearly perfect and I felt really good. Sub-freezing weather is not at all bad to run in as long as it's not windy. I'm feeling pretty darn thankful, all things considered.</li><li>There are many things where the saying is true "they just don't make 'em like they used to." However, I am a big believer in<b> Band-Aid brand <i>Flexible Fabric</i> band aids</b>! I've had some foot sores recently (maybe due to the blood thinner I'm on, and running) and just starting wearing one on all my long runs where I've had blister problems from time to time. It's on the big toe side of the ball of my right foot. Let me tell you... I'm talking just a regular sized band aid, and they do not move! Even after 15 miles of running!! Take it from me, those are good band-aids.</li><li>I read this report this morning: According to <a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://mikewoodruff.us20.list-manage.com/track/click?u%3De55356c9e1b8eb288a35c9929%26id%3Db17d863c36%26e%3D1f5f048101&source=gmail&ust=1708187574117000&usg=AOvVaw1huaLnSswl2jogkkvFTTA_" href="https://mikewoodruff.us20.list-manage.com/track/click?u=e55356c9e1b8eb288a35c9929&id=b17d863c36&e=1f5f048101" style="color: #5485c8; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">the CDC</a>,
the<b> leading causes of death in the US</b> during 2021 were: 1) Heart
disease - 696K, 2) Cancer - 605K (breast cancer is 45K), 3) COVID -
417K, 4) Accidents - 224K, 5) Strokes - 163K, 6) Chronic respiratory
disease - 142K, 7) Alzheimer’s – 119K, 8) Diabetes – 103K, and 9)
Chronic liver disease – 57K. What I would like to know is -- how much do pharmaceutical companies and hospitals make treating those diseases? I mean, there have been amazing (incredible, even) advances in treating heart disease alone. But then once someone is treated, how many pills are they bound to for the rest of their lives?!?.</li><li>I will never forget Reggie McNeal making a passing statement a number of years ago something like: <i><b>"I'm not afraid of dying. It's what they do to you before you die that worries me."</b></i></li><li>James Clear says, "If you want a simple formula for having a good day, then get a workout
done and do your most important task before lunch. Knock out those two
things by noon and you really feel like you're ahead of the day." I'll let you decide the validity of the statement for yourself. For me, for as little of a speck as it makes in the universe, I've got my workout done and I'm hitting publish on this post at 11:59. Done! :) <i><b><br /></b></i></li></ol>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-9024109379063743372024-02-15T09:27:00.001-05:002024-02-15T09:27:53.535-05:00Smelling trouble (and grounding techniques)<p>What do you smell right now? </p><p>...</p><p>... <br /></p><p>Well... what is it? I'm curious. I mean, really, how <i>grounded</i> are you???</p><div><p><i><b>Grounding</b></i> is a practice that can help people who struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, stress, depression, PTSD, flashbacks, unwanted memories, negative or challenging emotions, among other things.</p><p><i><b>Grounding techniques</b></i> are exercises that may help you refocus on the present moment and overcome the unwanted feelings, emotions or symptoms. They help you '<i>be where you are</i>.' (<a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques#mental-techniques">https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques#mental-techniques</a>).<br /></p><p>One particular grounding technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 method:<br /></p><p>Working backward from 5, you use your senses to name things you notice around you. For example, you might start by listing:</p><ul><li>5 things you see</li><li>4 things you can touch from where you're sitting<br /></li><li>3 things you can hear<br /></li><li>2 things you can smell</li><li>1 thing you can taste</li></ul><p> </p></div><p></p><p>I utilize this technique sometimes when I'm feeling anxious (and can remember to do it). It usually helps.</p><p>The other day, though, I was doing this and realized that I don't smell very well. Not that I stunk (at least not at that moment), but it occurred to me I generally just skip this part because I have difficulty smelling odors.</p><p>I mean, sure, I can smell stinky garbage, body odor, certain foods, perfume and such. However, to just randomly be sitting here and pick out smells... I can't do it. </p><p>So I don't know if I have <i>smell trouble</i>, if I'm simply not concentrating enough, or if this is common among others. What do you think: do you smell well?<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-6822679420579367452024-02-14T08:37:00.002-05:002024-02-14T08:37:30.866-05:00Practicing with affliction (into the silent land - final)<p>It may seem strange that the title of this (last) post is the sub-heading of chapter six in Martin Laird's fine book '<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Into-Silent-Land-Christian-Contemplation-ebook/dp/B003TWNDXW">Into the Silent Land: A Guide to the Christian Practice of Contemplation</a>.' Why not something from chapter seven or the epilogue, you ask? </p><p>I think Martin does a really nice job of blending and building the chapters onto one another. What, at first glance, may seem as though "Why does he keep saying the same things over and over"... He's really not. There are slight and subtle nuances in depth. Perhaps that's why I was so excited as I finished the book, but it was a bit difficult to convey looking at the separate pieces. </p><p>In the end I've determined I simply can't do justice to explaining this to anyone. I'm certain I have yet to grasp it... but there's a sense... like I've caught a waft of fragrance I can't quite place but I'm really quite drawn to. And it may not have drawn me in at other times in my life, but it is now.</p><p>That said, I'm merely going to drop some quotes from the last two chapters and offer a brief reflection at the end. Here goes...</p><p><b>CHAPTER 6 - FROM VICTIM TO WITNESS</b></p><p></p><blockquote>Most of us live much of our lives caught in the whirlwind of the stories going on in our heads. As our contemplative practice matures we are presented with opportunities to drop the story and to look straight into these thoughts and feelings that lead many of us around by a nose ring. And we see they are without substance. Without the story, they have no power. This insight is behind Mark Twain's famous line. <i>"I'm an old man now and have had a great many problems. Most of them never happened."</i> A lot goes on in our heads that is quite worthless. (115)</blockquote><p></p><p><b>CHAPTER 7 - THE LITURGY OF OUR WOUNDS: TEMPTATION, HUMILITY, AND FAILURE</b></p><p></p><blockquote><p>"Through his wounds we are healed." -Isaiah 53:5 (117)</p><p>The doorway into the silent land is a wound. Silence lays bare this wound. (117)</p><p>The paradox, however, is that this healing is revealed when we discover that our wound and the wound of God are one wound. (118)</p><p>God meets the human condition where it stands most in need, in its poverty and brokenness, and as we make our pilgrim way along the path of contemplation, we will certainly meet, as Merton puts it, "what we resent most in ourselves." (120-121)</p><p>"My grace is enough for you: for power is at full stretch in weakness" (2 Cor 12:8-9). What Paul wanted was relief from his struggle. What he received instead was God. (121)</p><p>The practice of contemplation teaches us how *<i>to be</i>* in this wound. (121)</p><p>Our wounds don't strike us as anything but brokenness and failure. But when we enter the silence that is the ground of all, what we make of our brokenness and failure gradually comes to look very different. (121)</p><p>Trial, temptation, and struggle are the making of the contemplative. Take away these and you take away tremendous opportunity for growth, depth, and wisdom. (123)</p><p>How can the struggle with a temptation have any benefit? In order to see this we must first learn to recognize judging thoughts just as we would any other distracting thought and work it into our contemplative practice. The first step, then, is not magically to decide somehow to avoid judgmental thoughts, but to catch ourselves in the act... (124)</p><p>Self-loathing is just another video we've learned to watch. This actually is an obstacle to the humility required to see straight through our wounds into God. (127)</p><p>Humility is perfect... when its goal is God alone. Humility is imperfect when its goal is anything else mixed with God. ... <u>We have to let go of everything, even our sense of being a miserable failure</u>. (128-129) </p><p>**It is not uncommon to find people with very sensitive consciences and who seem to have a certain attraction, even aptitude, for the contemplative path, but who cannot come to terms with things that have happened in their past. Not only can they not accept divine forgiveness, they cannot forgive themselves. Consequently their self-esteem is too low to accept the fact that <u>failure is part of the search for God</u>.** (130)</p><p>* Our wounds are our trophies. ... Our own interior silence will have solved many riddles and opened many doorways before we can stare failure in the face and see not our own face but God's. In the Crucified and Risen One, grace and disgrace have been joined. Because of this, our failure opens onto the luminous vastness of our depths, where Christ silently presides in the unfolding liturgy of our wounds. (132)</p></blockquote><p></p><p><b>EPILOGUE: "WHO AM I?" A TALE OF MONASTIC FAILURE</b></p><p>The ending is so... I don't even know how to describe it. Perfect? There are no quotes for me to pick out. It's a story... almost a parable... that I'm not sure I quite understand... but at the same time it's like the story of... <i>everything</i>. </p><p>Sorry, I don't feel it would be right to say anything more about it. </p><p><br /></p><p><b>SUMMARY OBSERVATION:</b><br /></p><p>As for the book as a whole... Man. I used to think I was a somewhat contemplative person. Now I feel like I don't know the first thing about it... AND THAT'S A GOOD THING! The double asterisk above hit me squarely between the eyes (and heart). </p><p>I guess, in the end, what excites me most about this book is not how good it is, how well it's written, how much I understand it, or maybe even how important it is... In such an odd way, what gives me such hope is... that <i>I'm so bad at this</i>!!! Lol. Yet, it's in this failure that I find solace. And hopefully... you know... ... God.</p><p>If you have followed along in these five posts, God bless you! They probably don't offer much help to anyone but me. I don't apologize for that, but I appreciate you being here. Thanks.</p><p><a href="https://12ddm.blogspot.com/2024/02/venturing-into-silent-land.html">Part 1</a>, <a href="https://12ddm.blogspot.com/2024/02/entering-land.html">part 2</a>, <a href="https://12ddm.blogspot.com/2024/02/the-three-doorways-into-silent-land.html">part 3</a>, <a href="https://12ddm.blogspot.com/2024/02/the-riddles-of-distraction-from-silent.html">part 4</a><br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-53984711480348781502024-02-13T10:21:00.003-05:002024-02-13T10:21:57.069-05:00The riddles of distraction (from the silent land)<p>How easy is it for you to *SQUIRREL*!!! Oh, excuse me, I got distracted...</p><p>Chapter five of Martin Laird's '<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Into-Silent-Land-Christian-Contemplation-ebook/dp/B003TWNDXW">Into the Silent Land: A Guide to the Christian Practice of Contemplation</a>' helps us deal with distractions... The Riddles of Distraction. This helps us through the doorways we discussed in <a href="https://12ddm.blogspot.com/2024/02/the-three-doorways-into-silent-land.html">the last post/chapter</a>.</p><p>He opens the chapter with this (75):</p><p></p><blockquote>The doorways of the present moment are each guarded by an elaborately simple array of distractions that works in tandem with the prayer word. Together they open the doorways into the silent land. These distractions are like riddles that must first be answered before the door will open. The riddles, however, are not answered by the calculating mind but by successive silences. These silences are built around a central paradox: <u>all distractions have within them the silent depths we seek</u>, the flowing vastness of Presence that eludes every grasp of comprehension. <u>Therefore, distractions do not have to be rid of in order for them to relax their grip and reveal their hidden treasure</u>. Such is the simplicity of paradox.</blockquote><p></p><p>In other words, '<u>Distraction serves a purpose</u>.' </p><p>So, what are these riddles we must navigate?</p><p><b>THE RIDDLE OF THE FIRST DOORWAY: ARE YOU YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS?</b></p><p></p><blockquote><p>"If we think we are our thoughts and feelings, we go through life simply reacting to what is going on around us, with little awareness that we are even doing this or that life could be otherwise." (77)<br /></p><p>"The peace will indeed come, but it will be the fruit, not of pushing away distractions, but of meeting thoughts and feelings with stillness instead of commentary. This is the skill we must learn." (79)<br /></p><p>"The prayer word is of great assistance in answering the riddle of the First Doorway." (80)<br /></p></blockquote><p></p><p><b><span>THE RIDDLE OF THE SECOND DOORWAY: WHAT DO THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS APPEAR IN?</span></b></p><p><span></span></p><blockquote><p><span>"We move from being a victim of what is happening to being a witness to what is happening... This move from victim to witness is an early psychological fruit of the contemplative journey. It is deeply liberating and gives us a sense of possibility for real change in our lives." (81)<br /></span></p><p><span>"The riddle of the Second Doorway helps us deepen this silence by training the attention not to spin commentary on the thoughts and feelings that we become aware of." (81)<br /></span></p><p><span>"Watch it come and go (thoughts and feelings). It's a subtle art." (83)<br /></span></p></blockquote><p><span></span></p><p><b><span>THE RIDDLE OF THE THIRD DOORWAY: WHAT IS THE NATURE OF THESE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS, AND WHO IS AWARE OF THEM?</span></b></p><p><span></span></p><blockquote><p><span>"This is the great liberation of solving this third riddle, which we come to soon after the second. Inner silence is such that we meet thoughts and feelings purely and simply without commentary, the way a riverbed receives the water from up stream and lets it go down stream, all the same receptive giving." (91)</span></p><p><span>"To know this is to have answered the third riddle: what is their nature? The thoughts and feelings that have brought us such delight and sorrow are also manifestations of this luminous vastness, waves of the ocean, branches of the vine. And who is aware of these distracting thoughts? [Um, only you] Shift your attention from the distraction to the awareness itself... [In other words, recognize they are only thoughts and feelings]." (91-92)<br /></span></p></blockquote><p><span></span></p><p><span>Laird sums this chapter up nicely on 92-93:</span></p><p><span></span></p><blockquote><p><span>"Distractions... serve a purpose. If we cannot weather these distractions in stillness, they will give the impression that the doorway into the silent land is closed. But if we are simply still before them and do not try to push them away or let ourselves be carried away by them, they help deepen our contemplative practice. They initiate us into a sort of education by ordeal. The fruits of this education are manifold... <u>First, we realize that we are not our thoughts and feelings... Second, once we have crossed this threshold of realizing we are not the mind-stream of thoughts and feelings, we find the tensions of life easier to live through... Third, ...We see that these thoughts and feelings that have plagued us, clouded our vision, seduced us, entertained us, have no substance</u>..."</span></p><p><span>"I think St. Paul would simply have called this<i> the peace of Christ</i>..." (93) </span></p></blockquote><p><span></span></p><p><span> </span></p><p><span>Much like when our cars break down (or anything else), it's not a matter of <i>if</i> distractions will arise, but <i>when</i> or how often. Part of the work is understanding this is not something to be avoided or ignored, but perhaps the <i>very thing</i> that helps us into the Silent Land by learning the truth that they do not make us who. we. are.!<br /></span></p><p><span>Practice. Practice. Practice. </span><br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-43061357184298769302024-02-12T12:33:00.001-05:002024-02-12T12:33:20.134-05:00Monday moan<p>There are two more posts on <i>Into the Silent Land</i> coming, but first let me release a long, low gasp of day-after drudgery...</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li> Were you aware of the "Super Bowl" yesterday? Ha! How could you not be, right?! We enjoyed getting together with our daughter's family and took in the spectacle (at least into the third quarter). I once considered this the pinnacle of American life. What's not to like about a reason for folks to gather together over food and entertainment that seemingly offered something for everyone: sports (the game), music (the pregame & halftime shows), and artistry (the commercials). So why does this year seem so different?</li><li>For starters, maybe it's just me, or my age, or maybe I've just never been aware of how really out-of-step this spectacle is with stuff-of-earth reality (much less the ways of Jesus). I mean, we have two franchises built on capitalistic greed, owned by billionaire families (the rich get richer), who in slightly different ways have weaseled their way into the hearts of 'Merica's pocketbooks, in a sport known to cause harm and crippling disability to its participants, in a league steeped in ol'-boy injustice, who've created an event built on all the consumerist, celebrity-culture-driven slatherings of the worst vices known to man... and, gee... what could be wrong? I mean, as I sat there on the couch with my grandkids in the room I started to feel a little <i>"dirty</i>." Like, we weren't being <i>offered</i> something... We were being <i>manipulated</i>. Maybe worse: <i>bought & sold</i>! It simply started to feel... too much. Not that I want to be the morality police or a bible thumping holy-roller... I suddenly started to feel like a foreigner in a strange land though. Like, what's going on? What have we become?<br /></li><li>I don't know. Maybe it had something to do with finding out marathon world record holder <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-68270866">Kelvin Kiptum and his coach were killed in a car accident</a> in Kenya. Reading about his humble life and upbringing is a pretty sharp contrast to what was happening in Las Vegas (of all places to hold the SB). Couple that with news of the <a href="https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/crime/lakewood-church-shooting-houston-texas-b2494731.html">shooting at Joel Osteen's megachurch in Texas</a> where an armed woman was killed by church security (who apparently also shot a small child; and it's unclear yet how another man was wounded)... And the Houston police chief right away blaming <i>the woman</i> for the child getting shot, and... can you imagine someone being gunned down, DEAD at a church service!!!!! Jesus!<br /></li><li>Personally, though, and maybe ironically, I'd like to not let all the above sidetrack me from what happened at our church gathering yesterday. We had several people get baptized. And one of them was the pastor! Yes, he'd been baptized as a child, but I was proud of him for doing something a lot of pastors I know either don't have the guts to do, or congregations that would allow it. He likened it to the bus driver informing everyone on board that he needed to go get his driver license. To me it was a humbling gesture that we are always on journey and God can do crazy stuff at any time and through all kinds of different ways. I felt honored to talk about it with him before he took the "plunge." </li></ul><p>So, there's just a few notes to get the week started here. I have begun reading <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Life-Together-Exploration-Christian-Community/dp/0060608528">Life Together</a> by Diethrich Bonhoeffer. I've read much <i>about</i> this book, but don't believe I've ever actually read the real thing (or, in this case, a translation of it).</p><p>Carry on.<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-81346641005306883882024-02-09T11:16:00.000-05:002024-02-09T11:16:36.617-05:00Five things friday<p>I know you've been holding your breath all week waiting to see what five things popped up in my head today...</p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>I/we have really been getting into reruns of the TV show <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M*A*S*H_(TV_series)">M*A*S*H</a> lately. What an incredible show. It was set during the Korean War and aired from September 1972 until February 28, 1983.</li><li>During an episode last night, where they asked the characters who their heroes were, the thought hit me: Can we even have heroes anymore? I mean, in this cancel-culture age where social media and 24-hour news cycles allow us to see and hear things about people no one has any business seeing/hearing (or do we?) is it possible to esteem anyone? All those 'heroes of old' would certainly be revealed as 'less than we thought' if we had access to every mistake or lapse in judgment the way we do today. Or maybe it's something about how much more judgmental we've become in general. I don't know. </li><li>I also don't know how many pastors I talk with who are muddling through the hurt and disillusionment of ex-members/friends/staff who are trying to discredit them or the church. It's so sad. Yet, I've 'been there, done that' myself. We humans are strange creatures. Anyway, my heart really hurts for these people. Everyone knows "no one is perfect"... yet, when we get offended...<br /></li><li>I have often toyed with the idea of starting/managing a retreat center for pastors and people who need a break or re-centering or whatever you want to call it (or whatever it is they may need). I've no clue how to do this, but I want to keep this alive in my mind. There's got to be something...</li><li>Personally, I'm often haunted by things I said or did when I was a pastor. Man was I stupid. Probably still am(are?). I often wonder if my kids think I still think like I used to. I hope they know I've changed, and continue to discover things everyday that I did wrong or was mistaken about. One thing I feel like I'm learning all over again is that God's mercies are indeed new every morning... and I haven't even skimmed the surface yet.</li></ol><p>Blessings, friends. I want you to know I truly do appreciate the handful of you who take time to stop by here occasionally. I don't know who most of you are (other than the two or three who have told me so), but you make a difference. Thanks. <br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-35539427502882169432024-02-08T10:17:00.006-05:002024-02-08T10:17:57.240-05:00The three doorways into the silent land<p>How passionately do you sing along with U2's "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3-5YC_oHjE">I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For</a>?" It's a good question as we dig into <i>the practice</i> of contemplation as outlined in Martin Laird's '<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Into-Silent-Land-Christian-Contemplation-ebook/dp/B003TWNDXW">Into the Silent Land: A Guide to the Christian Practice of Contemplation</a>.' </p><p>Let's further set the stage with some underlying points of understanding...</p><p>Laird states (53), "Contemplative practice is a skill, a discipline that facilitates a process that is out of one's direct control, but it does not have the capacity to determine an outcome. A gardener for example, does not actually grow plants. The gardener practices finely honed skills, such as cultivating soil, watering, feeding, weeding, pruning. But there is nothing the gardener can do to make the plants grow. However, if the gardener does not do what a gardener is supposed to do, the plants are not as likely to flourish. In fact they might not grow at all." It's the same with a sailor who exercises considerable skill in sailing a boat, but nothing they do can produce the wind...</p><p>This is where the <u>three components of contemplative practice</u> we discussed previously come into play (posture, the use of a prayer word, and the breath). We must first still our bodies, focus on a prayer word to occupy our mind, and breathe deeply to calm our spirit. Again Laird points out: "The skills are necessary but by themselves insufficient. And so it is with contemplative practice and the spiritual life in general."</p><p>This is perhaps also a good time to explain <u>the prayer word</u>. It is a word or phrase one uses not only to still themselves, but to re-focus the mind. It can be the simple repetition of a word like "God" or "Jesus," or maybe a portion of Scripture such as Ps. 23 "The Lord is my Shepherd," or Ps. 46 "Be still and know that I am God." A popular one is some form of what is known as the "Jesus Prayer." From the fuller version "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" to simply "Jesus, have mercy on me." It's not so important what your prayer word is, as that it draws your mind to God and is something you can sync with your breathing - saying the first part on inhale and the second on exhale (but remember to exhale slightly longer than in).</p><p>A large part of the point of a prayer word is to give you something to<i> come back to</i> when your mind starts to wander (which it will). It is fine if thoughts pop up. Go ahead and acknowledge them, but as you think of it, get back to your word or phrase. Personally, this is a practice I have utilized for years when running. It helps with focus and is a good way to keep my breathing regular. </p><p>So, chapter three presents '<b>The Three Doorways of the Present Moment</b>.' </p><p>The <u>First Doorway</u> is practical: addressing general fidgetiness, boredom, and self-preoccupation. Even experienced people of prayer struggle sometimes to be physically still for any length of time. Over time, and using the prayer word, it's possible to cross this doorway. When thoughts come, the advice is to note them; let them be; return to the prayer word. This simple discipline is called "practice."</p><p>The <u>Second Doorway</u> takes us a bit deeper. As noted on 63, "The use of the prayer word at the First Doorway of practice is characterized by the effective use of the prayer word as a refuge or shield from the onslaught of thoughts, even pious thoughts. It isn't that the prayer word prevents thoughts from happening, but we can use it to help us from getting caught up in them. As we cross the threshold of the Second Doorway, however, the way the prayer word is used begins to change. The deeper we delve into the prayer word, the less we use it as a shield from afflictive thoughts. Rather we meet the thoughts with stillness instead of commentary. We let the thoughts simply be, but without chasing them and whipping up commentaries on them."</p><p>The<u> Third Doorway</u> requires vigilant waiting in the silence of just being. This is where we acquire the skill not only to recognize our thoughts, but to shift our attention from the thought itself, to the <i>awareness</i> of the thought. We are no longer tossed about and drawn into internal banter. Laird says one of the characteristics of having moved through the Third Doorway shows itself in our sense of self. Perhaps like Paul in Galatians 2:20, "I live now not with my own life but with the life of Christ who lives in me." This is where we realize "Contemplative prayer is the prayer of <u>just being</u>." (73)</p><p><br /></p><p>I know this stuff can seem a little 'out there' or daunting (different, if you will). It is for me. I was not taught anything like this in the evangelical churches of my past. And by no means have I mastered any of it. Shoot, I'm still working my way through the first doorway! But this sounds like what I've been looking for all my life: peace with God. It's a life completely at home in my skin, knowing God is here with me, and all the thoughts, internal videos, and emotions I constantly struggle with don't have to dictate who I am.</p><p>So, I practice. I'm not yet up to the recommended 20-30 minutes twice a day... But I practice at night when laying in bed; I practice when running; I try to do 5-10 minutes here and there during the day.</p><p>I still haven't found it, but I feel like this just might be... the way. <br /></p><p><br /></p><p>NOTE: <a href="https://12ddm.blogspot.com/2024/02/venturing-into-silent-land.html">Part 1</a> of this exploration is <a href="https://12ddm.blogspot.com/2024/02/venturing-into-silent-land.html">here</a>: <a href="https://12ddm.blogspot.com/2024/02/entering-land.html">Part 2 is here</a>.<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-75923886911557226292024-02-07T08:43:00.000-05:002024-02-07T08:43:39.177-05:00Entering the land<p><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Before we start: You might notice I changed a couple lines in <a href="https://12ddm.blogspot.com/2024/02/venturing-into-silent-land.html">yesterday's post</a>. I may have gotten a little carried away in over-hyping the book. It's not for everyone; nor is the practice of contemplation. Plus I'd forgotten that the book starts out a little slow. If you can make it through the first two or three chapters it does pick up after that.</span></i></p><p>Okay, on to the next post...<br /></p><p>Who can be a contemplative Christian? Does it require some special expertise, or can just any ol' schmuck like me experience the silence (salvation) of God? Well, I'd say this book says YES, you can do it!<br /></p><p><a href="https://12ddm.blogspot.com/2024/02/venturing-into-silent-land.html">Yesterday</a> we began to lay the groundwork for entering <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Into-Silent-Land-Christian-Contemplation-ebook/dp/B003TWNDXW">Into the Silent Land</a></i>, as told in Martin Laird's fine book by that title. Today we will look at chapters 1-3 as he begins to take us there.</p><p>The first two chapters emphasize this foundational aspect...</p><p></p><blockquote>"Union with God is not something that needs to be acquired but realized." (10)</blockquote><p></p><p>Laird quotes a prisoner who has been working with the <i>Prison Phoenix Trust</i>, whose aim is to address the spiritual needs of prisoners by teaching them how to pray: "All beings, no matter how reactionary, fearful, dangerous or lost, can open themselves to the sacred within and become free. I have become free even in prison..."</p><p>For many of us the biggest hurdle is our own minds.</p><p>Martin shares a story in chapter two of a man he used to see every day who walked four dogs. Three of the four romped and roamed all over the open fields where they were, racing along in these wide open stretches of freedom. But the fourth stayed behind and, off to the side of its owner, ran in tight circles. One day he asked what was up with that fourth dog; why did he do that? The owner explained that before he acquired the dog it had lived practically all its life in a cage and could only exercise by running in circles. For this dog, to run meant to run in tight circles. Laird comments:</p><p></p><blockquote>This event has always stayed with me as a powerful metaphor of the human condition. For indeed we are free, as the Psalmist insists, "My heart like a bird has escaped from the snare of the fowler (Ps 123:7). But the memory of the cage remains. And so we run in tight, little circles, even while immersed in open fields of grace and freedom.</blockquote><p></p><p>All of us play videos in our minds of things from our past. Sure, some are pleasant, but many/most of the ones we replay are of hurtful memories we struggle to escape from. We can be held captive by our very own minds.</p><p>"The friend of silence comes close to God," Meister Eckhart says, "The noblest attainment in this life is to be silent and let God work and speak within."</p><p>This brings us back to something from the introduction:</p><p></p><blockquote>God is the ground of our innermost being, yet we skim along on the surface of life. The result is that our lives are rather like that of the deep-sea fisherman who was fishing for minnows while standing on a whale. "You were within me and I was outside myself," as Augustine famously put it. (29)<br /></blockquote><p></p><p>Chapter three then introduces us to<i> the practice</i>: The Body's Call to Prayer. This chapter describes three components of contemplative practice: posture, the use of a prayer word, and the breath. These are all described in more detail in subsequent chapters, so I will leave you with this gem from p. 45:</p><p></p><blockquote>The body is a great reservoir of wisdom. Something as simple as bodily stillness and breathing make a contribution of untold value to discovering the unfathomable silence deep within us. This silence, as R.S. Thomas tells us, "is when we live best, within listening distance of the silence we call God."</blockquote><p></p><p><br /></p><p>I admit, the mind is the greatest struggle for me. I have long been bent on <i>searching for God</i>, or <i>striving after God</i>, and it's a whole new "movie script" for me to get used to the idea God is already <u>right here within</u>. What should be reassuring is so foreign a concept that it almost doesn't seem right. So it's been slow going thus far, but I don't know that that makes it any worse, more difficult, or less possible...</p><p>Taking five or ten minutes to practice contemplation in this way is completely doable for me, and most people. The biggest question is... will I do it? <br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18283131.post-75051251014262043412024-02-06T12:10:00.001-05:002024-02-07T08:15:18.832-05:00Venturing into the silent land<div style="text-align: center;"><i>"By waiting and by calm you shall be saved,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>in quiet and in trust your strength lies."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">- Isaiah 30:15</div><p>There are books I read which I really like but am hesitant to recommend to others. We all have unique tastes and I know mine skew a bit sideways. Some books though, whether I think others will like them or not, <i>should</i> be recommended because of their importance. Martin Laird's '<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Into-Silent-Land-Christian-Contemplation-ebook/dp/B003TWNDXW">Into the Silent Land: A Guide to the Christian Practice of Contemplation</a>' may fall into this category.</p><p>It starts out a bit tedious, but after the first couple chapters gets very practical. Which lends to its importance.</p><p>"Christianity" today is known for many things. It seems most have nothing to do with God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. Contemplation is not something you hear much about in many/most churches. However, as Laird quotes in the introduction (2):</p><p></p><blockquote>"Our greatest need is to be silent before this great God, . . . for the only language he hears is the silent language of love." Silence is an urgent necessity for us; silence is necessary if we are to hear God speaking in eternal silence; our own silence is necessary if God is to hear us. Silence is necessary because, as Maggie Ross boldly puts it, <b>"Salvation is about silence."</b></blockquote><p></p><p>I had hoped to simply write one overview of the entire book, but in my procrastinating I've determined it will require longer, slower, smaller slices. Which is also my recommended way of reading the work and putting it into practice.<br /></p><p>To set the stage, Laird begins by pointing out:</p><p></p><blockquote>We are built for contemplation. This book is about cultivating the skills necessary for this subtlest, simplest, and most searching of the spiritual arts.</blockquote><p></p><p>Though we are built for it, he also warns (3): "We enter the land of silence by the silence of surrender, and there is <i>no map</i> of the silence that is surrender."</p><p>(4) "There are <u>two contemplative practices of fundamental importance</u> in the Christian tradition: the practice of <u>stillness </u>(also called meditation, still prayer, contemplative prayer, etc.) and the practice of <u>watchfulness or awareness</u>." </p><p>A major point to making sense of it all is the foundational assumption that <u>union with God is not something we are trying to acquire; God is already the ground of our being. It is a question of realizing this in our lives</u>. He notes that most of us operate ignorant of this, much like the proverbial deep-sea fisherman "who spends his life <i>fishing for minnows while standing on a whale</i>."</p><p><br /></p><p>So, how this goes I do not know... But I needed to start somewhere. If this is of interest to you, let's set sail... very quietly...</p><p>More to come.<br /></p>danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10088260285661911833noreply@blogger.com0