If I could teach the world to sing...

Remember that t.v. commercial with the song, "I'd Like To Teach the World To Sing"? (I realize this ages me, but was it coke or pepsi?) For some reason I was thinking this morning, "If I could teach the world to sing, what song would it be?"

The first song I remember learning when starting to play the guitar was either Neil Young's "Helpless" or Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man." One or the other or maybe both around the same time. Helpless might be a good one. It would be easy. I actually learned it and "Knockin On Heaven's Door" (by Dylan) at the same time, so I guess that adds to the confusion.

Perhaps, though, "Amazing Grace" would be a good one to teach the world to sing. As I've stated before, our church has ended our Sunday gatherings with that song for well over a year now. I don't know why but I am just scared to stop singing it. Isn't that weird? We need grace. We need to learn to extend it more too.

However, I think my all-time favorite song just might be another christian classic -- "It Is Well With My Soul." THAT is what I would teach the world to sing. The coolest of songs, with a noble, tear-jerking story behind it. Yep. (click on the song title for the words and the story). It is well with my soul.

So what about you... if you could teach the world to sing one song, what would it be?

Let's call this a day

JOSH GARRELS AND THE LIONS
Wow. What a night. I kinda rushed us through our Wednesday night devotions - partly because there was hardly anybody there (just like always it's fizzling out), but mostly because I wanted to get to Huntington, IN to see Josh Garrels AND MY WONDERFUL CHILDREN. I took this pic with my phone. That's the back of Isaac's head in the bottom center, and Carrie Jade is to his left.

But, oh, what a night. I had only seen JG solo before, and when we got to this cool upstairs venue just the drummer, bass, and electric guitarist were playing. I was to find out those were The Lions - JG's band (or former band). They were incredible - and it's really too bad they're no longer together. I couldn't tell which one of them more mesmerized me. Some fantastic percussion, superb bass, incredible guitar and singing.

THEN Josh began. He is just awesome. Nothing else to say. He ended with THE coolest version of Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly" I have ever heard. Phenominal.

ON A NIGHT LIKE THIS
I saw and met several people. Mike Clawson's sister Julie was there - though she apparently left before I had a chance to introduce myself (Hi, uh, I know your brother from the internet, and, uh... hi). I think I met my future son-in-law (Seth), but according to Carrie he just doesn't know it yet. I saw Ben again (and he better be right about coming in June and July); saw Eric; re-introduced myself to Andy and met his bass player Brent. I think they might be coming for music month in July. I never did talk with the pastor of the place (and don't know his name, or the church's name), but I couldn't believe how YOUNG he looked, or is. And there were a TON of Anderson people there. It was good to see Caleb, Graham and Megan again, and to meet the rest of 'em.

Apparently the evening was a fundraiser type event for a family who has come upon hard times. I was pretty surprised that they took in over $4,000.00 last night. Kudos.

AFTERNOON DELIGHT
I was already hyped before we got to the show, because right before leaving the office I finally heard from Jason Ringenberg's agent. I think we're booking him for July 20 & 21 (actually it's July 27/28). Friday night will be Jason - "the original roots-punk barnstormer; the rockingest folksinger that ever lived" according to his promo pack. Then Saturday morning the kids will have the time of their lives with Farmer Jason. I can't wait!!!

I am going to stop now while my mind is still in my head.

peace. and... yes, there is a revolution.

Who told you?

Yesterday my morning devotions asked, "Who was the first person you can remember who spoke to you about Jesus?" I kinda spent the rest of the day reminiscing.

I 'think' his name was Sonny Burton. We were sitting in Huckins' living room and he was singing us songs and playing his guitar. He was also the first African-American I had ever met face to face. I was probably 7 or 10-ish. It didn't last long, and the only song I knew was "Sunshine On My Shoulders" by John Denver, but I do remember him singing about Jesus, and talking about him, and he was happy.

Even though I went to church and Sunday School as a youth, I think it's interesting now that I can't recall a single Sunday School teacher I had, or anything I learned. Also, at the time I was best friends with the pastor's kids - Tim, Paul, and Dan Huckins. It was in their parsonage that we sat and listened to Sonny - he was visiting the family. We boys were taking a break from playing football or basketball or some such thing.

It never occurred to me until yesterday though, that he was the first person I remember who spoke to me about Jesus. And I mean spoke to me - personally. Of course I had sat in church services (though I probably didn't listen much). But I remember it being a weird feeling. I felt a bit awkward, but at the same time... it was like I could tell it was something really important - at least to him - and so it kind of gave one of those "chill" sensations. I don't know why I feel like I'm sitting there again right now. And I wonder... is that what drew me to Jesus? Is that what drew me to playing the guitar? Is that why I connect so much more with music than anything else?

It also makes me wonder... how many people do I speak to about Jesus? And how important does it seem to me? Honestly, I don't speak very often to people about Jesus, mostly because I don't want to offend them or turn them off or make them feel like I'm preaching to them. But that's really back-asswords isn't it? Because he has changed my life, and I should WANT to talk about him. And if I care about others I should WANT to talk to them about him.

But...

I remember Sonny. He was on the couch; us boys were sprawled on the floor. Yesterday I sent an email to Tim Huckins. He's a preacher in Ohio now. His brother Dan is a preacher somewhere else. Paul serves in the business world. I'm really glad for that day. I'm glad for those friends. Hmm. So... who told you?

Maundy thursday service

April 5 is our Maundy Thursday service. I plan to do things a little different this year. We usually have a soup and bread meal, but I think I’ll skip it – mostly because it’s a lot of work and I’m just not real motivated at the moment. So here is the plan: Have people gather in the sanctuary and give a little commentary on what the evening is about, maybe sing a song. Those desiring to participate in feetwashing can then go to one of two rooms to do that, and those not wanting to get their feet wet can go ahead and go downstairs and walk through the Stations of the Cross, or simply sit in the darkened sanctuary and listen to the music. Then as people filter back into the sanctuary – either from feetwashing or the Stations – they can come to the altar as individuals or couples and receive communion. People can sit as long as they like, or leave whenever.

I don’t know how people will like this ‘coming-and-going-as-you-wish’ thing… we don’t do much stuff like that. But an element I always try to incorporate in Maundy Thursday services is that of “not knowing exactly what to do or what’s going on.” I think that’s a lot of what it was like at the last supper with Jesus. I don’t know. What do you think?

New strings and feelin' kinda funky

Saturday I put new strings on my Alvarez/Yairi. I am bad about changing strings. Not that I do it poorly but I don’t do it very often - and my sound gets sorta dull.

Yesterday we had one of our lowest attended Sundays in a long time. 20 for Sunday School and 58 for worship. Wow. And the funny thing is… I didn’t even care. Usually I freak out when attendance is that low. A lot of people were gone on Spring break yesterday, but even still… I just really didn’t care.

I don’t know why I wait so long to change guitar strings. Certainly it’s a pain just to do it; it takes time. And I always hate the sound right after changing. There’s just not a ‘cohesiveness’ or something between these six new buds. BUT… once they start to get acquainted they sound soooo good – especially while still shiny and new. It’s kinda like moving… it’s a pain to have to move all your stuff, and at first it can be a bit uneasy, but once you meet some people it usually turns out good in the end. You know… this is actually the longest I’ve ever worked at the same place. Hmm.

Anyway, I almost somewhat enjoyed playing yesterday. Seldom do I get enjoyment out of playing my guitar anymore. I am pretty tense and uptight when trying to lead worship – there are too many things I’m worrying about: how the flow is going; did I put the right song and number of verses in the computer; what’s happening with the audience, the other musicians, does it sound as bad out there as it does in the monitors; what’s coming up next; did I forget to do anything; did I remember to bring my sermon with me; how many people are playing with one of the babies instead of worshiping, etc., etc. Sometimes it's almost like work, but for some reason yesterday wasn't. Maybe I should care less.

I’m thinking about trying to learn a few songs just to “play.” You know, you never know when an opportunity might present itself. I’ma feeling kinda funky. And I got some new strings on. Certainly “Helpless/Knockin’ on Heavens Door;” “Hold Me, Jesus.” I need to find some other songs too. Any requests?

Music month at church

I had an idea yesterday while listening to Ben Laatsch play at 3 Rivers Co-op in Fort Wayne. During the month of July I would like to find a different person or band to play each Sunday; have them start about a half hour or 15 minutes before time for worship – as people are coming in and drinking their coffee and stuff – and then keep playing for the first 15-20 minutes of the church service. Then we would have announcements, a message from the Bible, then the congregation would sing a few songs, and we would leave (after mingling and having more coffee and cookies).

I would think this a good opportunity for people who were looking for exposure. It would allow them a chance to be seen; get some experience; and they could set up a table to sell their demo’s or cd’s or whatever.

It would also be good for our church. It would be different (though I wouldn’t mind doing it all the time); it might bring some different people into the church; perhaps might even lead to finding a worship leader or new band.

My only problem is… yeah, so this is another idea I’ve had. And now that it’s Monday morning and I see all the crap I need to do this week… it’ll probably go the same route as all the other ideas I have. But…

If you are a musician and would be interested in playing a half hour to forty-five minute show on a Sunday morning in July – or know people that would – please contact me. Leave a comment, or my email is to the right.

Midwest Emergent Gathering

Click on the banner for info on this event. I am glad someone is doing something like this in the midwest. Unfortunately I don't think I will be able to attend on that date. Plus, it doesn't appear to have much to do with my situation - since I am not urban or suburban - but... I do hope it goes well.

What gives you hope?

Son Isaac sent me a good article from his pastor - Matt Conner - about their church. It's called No Trespassing. While perusing his site I came across Kelley's site/idea/project. What Gives You Hope is a project she's doing where she takes polaroid pictures and tapes them up in different cities with that question ("What gives you hope?") and her blog address on the back. What a cool idea. You should check out her photos and give her your thoughts while you're at it. I hope I see one of her polaroids some day.

By the way... what does give you hope?

Van Halen Van Halen

I'm not repeating myself.... but I did splurge today and buy Van Halen's self-titled first album (the cd, actually). Recorded in 1977 and released in February of 1978, it is considered to be one of the most famous debut albums by a hard rock/heavy metal band in history. My fellow "soup" mates would be ashamed of me, but I got in the car and CRANKED IT! The old Taurus does have one nice sound system. It took me back to the late '70's/early '80's when we rode around in Skipper's old green Nova with the '3-speed on the tree' and listened to this 8-track over and over and over and over. At least until "Damn the Torpedoes" came out by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

I don't really care about all the commotion over DLR or Sammy Haggar. Every now and then I just love to hear Eddie scorch on the guitar.

You can hear Bobby Yang play "Eruption" on his violin HERE.

How to read the bible

Mike Clawson has another excellent post on his blog. It's from a combination of conversations he's been having. I suggest reading the entire post HERE, but here's a snippet:

I view the Bible as dynamically unfolding story of God interacting with humanity at various points in our historical development. And it seems to me that God therefore has to deal with us differently depending on the culture and circumstances we faced at the time. A lot of what he told the Israelites 3500 years ago doesn’t necessarily apply to us today, because frankly, we’re not nomadic pastoralists trying to find land to settle in anymore (at least, most of us aren’t).

However, that doesn’t mean I want to just throw out those parts of the Bible. If the Bible is a story, then to throw out those parts would be like throwing out the first few acts of Hamlet because they’re not as current as the last act! There’s value in the story - in knowing where we’ve been and where the story is headed. Thus my job, as someone who is trying to live my life within this grand drama I believe God is directing, is to continue the drama as best I can from this point forward, in resonance with what has gone before, but not just slavishly repeating the lines from first act again either. Rather I have to move the story forward, keep it heading in the direction that I believe scripture has pointed us (which is in the direction of increasing love and justice in the world). If I were to just throw out the first part of the story simply because those people weren’t as far along as we are now, I might lose the sense of moral trajectory and have a harder time figuring out where the story as a whole is headed.

Proof of global warming

FYI: I do believe taking care of the environment is serious stuff. But it doesn't hurt to laugh now and then.

h/t: alan hirsch

Psalm 51 - The Sole of My Soul

At our Wednesday evening Lenten gatherings we've been reading Psalm 51:1-17 out loud, together. It's kinda cool... to hear yourself... then you'll hear someone else take the lead, then someone else, then yourself again. I dunno.... it's nice. We read the New International Version, but this is from Eugene Peterson's 'The Message'. I wrote a poem today called "A Pastor's Lament: Sole of My Soul." Maybe I'll share it someday; but this seemed much better.

Psalm 51:1-17

Generous in love - God, give grace!
Huge in mercy - wipe out my bad record.
Scrub away my guilt,
soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I've been,
my sins are staring me down.

You're the One I've violated, and you've seen
it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
You have all the facts before you,;
whatever you decide about me is fair.
I've been out of step with you for a long time,
in the wrong since before I was born.
What you're after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,
scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don't look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don't throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.

Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;
I'll let loose with your praise.

Going through the motions doesn't please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don't for a moment escape God's notice.

Church changes

These are a couple of changes I proposed to our church council recently. I haven't heard anything back yet, but thought I would just see if anybody else has any input or words of wisdom. Plus, sometimes things look different after I've "read" them.

DROP SUNDAY SCHOOL IN THE SUMMER
I am proposing we completely do away with our 9-9:45 Sunday School classes during the month of July. Then, in August, we start back with ALL CLASSES meeting in the basement for an informal discussion led by a different person each week, and also have coffee and donuts and such. Then in September we would go back to our regular classes.

Reasons:

• We're only running 30-some for Sunday School right now, and it's getting worse all the time.
• Our teachers are BURNED OUT. Not all, but some. I know my wife has had to teach a class every Sunday she's been here since the first day we arrived almost 8 years ago. It gets old after awhile. They need recharged; they need a rest; some may even need replaced. But we have a severe shortage of teachers - or anyone willing to take any kind of leadership role for that matter.
  
• If our teachers were recharged and rested, perhaps they would be that much better when they came back. We struggle with the concept of our teachers being "shepherds" of the people in their classes. Most think it's just about preparing a lesson and give little thought to other areas of spiritual growth or opportunities that exist outside of class.
• I am hoping that this might also wake a few people up to the fact that there actually is a problem. We've talked about it for a long time, and everybody just kind of shrugs their shoulders.
• It will give people a month to not feel pressured into coming. I always wonder whether people who just attend the worship service but not Sunday School feel a little like "outsiders."
  
• It might be easier for new people to break into groups when we come back. It will kinda be like everybody is starting over.
• I actually think we should consider taking a month off every summer. I don't think it means we're flushing everything down the toilet. Schools take off in the summer.

CHANGE OUR START TIME
I think this would also be a good time to move back our worship time from 10 am to 10:30 am. I think it would be better to go even later, but that's about as late as we could probably get away with at this time (we would end at 11:35 instead of 11:05).

Reasons:

• Why not?
• One of the biggest complaints I hear about church (from churched & unchurched) is "It starts too early on my only day to sleep in).
• Now that Indiana is doing Daylight Saving Time, it's like we're starting at 9 in the summer according to the temp and sun. Moving back will still be earlier than it used to be.
• If we want to worship outside this summer, we need all the extra sun and warmth we can get (although I just don't see this happening a lot at this point).
  
• In the winter it will allow another half hour to get the roads cleared of snow and ice.
• It should make it easier for older people who don't like to drive in bad weather.
• It should make it easier for young people who have small children.
• Um... why not?

So what do you think? Any red flags? Any suggestions; ideas; feedback of any kind?

Queer is such a funny word, OR "Why don't you come to our bible study, preacher?"

Last night Jane and I made a late-night run to the hospital. An older lady in the church was just getting settled into her room. I'm not sure if anything is really wrong with her, but she was in all her glory being the center of attention. Anyway, she's always asking me to come down to her house for the "Bible Studies" she supposedly has. I have actually gone a few times, and I hate to tell her, but sitting around gossiping about people to make yourself feel better does not a Bible Study make. And, besides the fact that there are always several ex-members of our church there, what she said last night was a good reminder.

The nurse was asking her questions, and she starts in on me "Why don't you come to our Bible Study, preacher?" and then blurts out, "Guess what we talked about the other night!" I would have guessed the End Times, or Revelation, or something - because that is often the topic. You know, talk about something that has nothing at all to do with showing God's love to the world RIGHT NOW or things you might need to do as a follower of Jesus. But I wasn't at all expecting what came out of her mouth next. With several other people in the room she shouts... "QUEERS!" She went on to tell us how so-and-so went through the Bible and read all the Scriptures that told how terrible it was. And how much fun they had putting down the "queers."
I was too embarrassed to even look up at the nurse standing there. And the thing that boggles my mind is how said patient is always wondering why she can't get people to come to church with her. You know, heathens and late-sleepers and other evil-doers.

I think we all have "blind spots." I'm sure I do. Things that I say and do that are completely contradictory and I'm not aware of it. But I don't know... I don't even have a point I guess. I don't know what to say. It just really saddened and angered me all at the same time. A self-righteous crowd of hate-mongers sitting around licking their chops oblivious to the fact that they're all elephants sitting in the room.......

Telling the story...

I don't know that I have too many preachers reading here, but this post from In The Clearing is one I need to read and re-read and remind myself of often (it probably works for Sunday School/Small Group leaders too). The title is "Tell Me The Story," and I appreciated reading the whole thing. Here's a little snippet (h/t - Milton Stanley):

Show me Jesus, Pastor. Don't assume I need a talking to about getting involved at church. Don't rifle the Scriptures for items that help you make your point. Take me through the Word, re-introduce me to the Great Story. Tell me about Abraham and how he fits into the grand plan, and Moses and how he does, and all the wild and visionary prophets; show me Jesus in the ancient Jewish texts, and show me the Roman world in which Paul traveled, and who it was that set him to journeying, and tell me what he meant when he said, "Not I who live, but Christ lives in me."

A revolutionary church planting idea

Well, okay, so it's not exactly revolutionary... but it certainly flies in the face of almost everything I've ever read about it. Jordon Cooper shares how he's going about planting a church - with little to no money! It's in his post: Ecclessial Mercenaries. I don't know if this is the "best" way, but it's certainly "a" way. Kudo's Jordon. (and I think I spelled his name right too).

Slipping in, in the dark, missing the mark

Last night I went to c2g and listened to the North River Agents. They were alright. Americana music - which I like. Pretty good bass player (huge guy), the singer and drummer were good enough, the banjo player added quite nicely, an awesome viola player (at least I think it was a viola. it played like a violin but was a little bigger. man, he could rock. it added so much to their sound), and the lead guitarist got a really sweet sound out of his strat. It kinda reminded me of Mark Knopfler a bit. They just played an hour, and their last song was like 18 minutes long. "Carnival." It was good. I just closed my eyes and tilted my head back.

I love going to c2g on Monday nights. I went alone last night 'cause Jane had women's group, and it was nice. I think what I like best about it is the darkness. After walking into a regular lit entry hallway, once you get to the big room it is all black, and very little light other than the stage lighting. So I just cruised into a seat at a back table and felt good and relaxed.

I really think churches could learn something here. And I realize that church is ultimately about 'community', but I think it's difficult for people to break into those communities. We need to provide more places for people to "sneak in." Because, you know, sometimes we don't want to just be right out there in the open with all of our sin and hurt and heartache and all. It would be nice to have a place to 'crawl' to Jesus... to hang at his feet... let our tears fall on his toes...

Anyway, it was sort of a 'missing the mark' night. On the way I heard Chris Rea's "The Road to Hell" - and I always think that's Mark Knopfler. I love that song, though I wish the radio station hadn't cut off the blazing guitar solo. But they followed it with another song I love: "We Were Only Freshmen" by The Verve Pipe. And then the NRA guitarist had this sorta Knopfler-esque sound... so I thought a lot about Mark and Dire Straits and all.

Did you know Mark Knopfler was left-handed, but played his guitar right handed. That is perhaps why he was so good at finger picking. Other tidbits: "Money For Nothing" was the first video ever played on MTV in Britain. And he did the soundtrack for the extraordinarily awesome movie "The Princess Bride."

Hello old friend

I did a little research today on the Fort Wayne music scene. I was blown away to find a coupla guys I used to know from my days of hangin' out in this little music store in Huntington, IN. Isaac started guitar lessons there when he was in 7th grade (I think), and that used to be my favorite hour of the week waiting around, playing guitars, chatting with musicians and stuff, while he was in his lessons. Ben Laatsch and Eric Squires were some young student/teachers at the time who I took an immediate liking to, and it is so cool to see and hear them now that they're a tad more grown up. (That's Ben in the top left pic; Eric is below on the right).

I look forward to catching some of their shows; and I would also like to see Sunny Taylor sometime. I've heard much about her, but never seen her live. And I wish like heck I could find out something about JENNIFER SPRINGER. I can't even remember the name of the band she was in - something like "full circle." If anyone has any info on them, please let me know.

The 'hello old friend' reference came to mind while listening to Ben & Eric's music. Every so often throughout my life I have heard music that so resonates within me that it's like stumbling across an old friend. Funny how I can remember these guys like yesterday, but also, their sound is so familiar to my soul. ...an' it was good.

Well now, THAT, was certainly a day...

I am glad yesterday is yesterday, and not today. And I'm glad yesterday started poorly but ended well, rather than the reverse.

I was out of sorts from the beginning. I've just had this nagging ..."restlessness" or something. Things were not well with my soul. I don't know if it had to do with all of us travelling, or pondering all I need to do, or what. Anyway, the first thing I did yesterday (as every day) was sit down at my 'outside-world monitor' (computer)... and I couldn't get an internet connection. I messed around for quite some time, and finally got it going, but it had already put a dent in my day. When I finally made it to the office I wrestled with my sermon a bit. I had wanted to vary the form this week, because it seems like I've been in a rut lately, and so I don't know that I don't like my sermon this week, but it's different. And that always leaves me with this tightrope sorta feeling. Nekkid. THEN I got a call from a pastor "friend." And... I don't really know how to put this into words, but lets just say I kinda came unglued. We have never agreed on too much, and he has rubbed me the wrong way many a time. Anyway, he started in on me about something and I just lost it. I finally told him what I'd wanted to tell him for a long time - that I thought he was full of sh**! I don't cuss often, but man the floodgates came open. He apologized for some things, and asked for forgiveness... and I couldn't give it. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't have meant it. I was madder than I have been in quite some time. I'm sure I will come around one of these days, but yesterday was not the day. The conversation started bad and ended worse. So THEN I put in ANOTHER call to this church that I was told I was to contact about using for a wedding. The couple had already talked to them, and supposedly the pastor wanted to talk with me. But every time I called everybody said they had no idea what I was talking about; and the secretary, quite honestly, was a bitch about the whole thing. So, in the afternoon I had to take Jane to the doctor (for several things - which will now require two more visits to two different specialists) and while waiting in the doctors office I called again and was finally able to talk to the Senior Pastor (I was given a 15 minute window to call and talk with him - how generous). At any rate, it was another one of those, "We have a policy and simply cannot allow people to use our building who do not attend our church. If we did, someone would always be wanting to use it." Wow, so, like, God forbid the church be there to serve people or anything. We wouldn't want our buildings to be used more than one day a week! Plus... it's also a great way for the bigger churches to get people to leave smaller churches: "If you want to utilize our resources, you need to start attending OUR church." Anyway, I was able to keep my personal comments to myself, but I was pretty upset. *Sidenote: You know, I never knew how hard it was to find a church to hold a wedding in. I have never experienced such rivalrous attitudes anywhere in my life. Personally, I am ashamed to call myself a Christian around these parts. And... it's no wonder people were so freaked out that we wanted to build a park/pavilion and allow people to use it FOR FREE! Geez, I just never knew it was such a novelty to have a church group who wanted to SHARE their blessings, and SERVE the community.

Well, this is where my day started to turn around though. I had to stop back at the office, and someone had left a message - just to tell me how much they appreciated this Lenten study that we're doing on Wednesday nights. It's amazing how a 1-minute message can change a day. I almost cried. Then we went to a Verizon store, and there was no line, and the person working there was super nice. He was just a young guy - about the age of my kids. Why is it that a Verizon employee is so much nicer than a church employee??? The night was topped off by going next door to Casa. Carrie was working, and we walked in, said we would like to sit in Carrie's section, and were told that a table had been reserved for us. This is the second time in a row we've walked in and been seated immediately - in front of several others who were waiting. It feels a little awkward, but I have to say, it is just real nice to be treated well. And, of course, our service was the best ever. Our daughter is one fine waitress if I do say so myself. So the evening ended with a diet Coke, Casa salad, and ravioli.

And today is a new day. I have to say though... I am disappointed; distraught; discouraged... After trying to defend the church last week, it seems I've been bombared this week with nothing but negatives. We watched "Andy Barker P.I." (or whatever it's called - it has Andy Rikter in it) last night, and the video store guy instructs Andy: "Just don't park in front of the Christian bookstore, or they'll tow your car." That seemed to perfectly describe it all. Everybody else is forgiving and easy to get along with... except those dern Christians. Man... I wish that wasn't so. I wish it wasn't so. (sigh)

NCAA Tournament post - Go Illini!!!

Alright, I know Illinois isn't going to make any noise. And my Bradley Braves had to settle for the NIT. Somehow I ended up with Ohio State winning it all on my sheet, but I really don't think they will. So..... while I have nothing else to write about the tourney, I thought I'd pass along this juicy little piece from Justin Peters at Slate:

Implausible as it may seem, new Indiana head coach Kelvin Sampson is more loathsome than Bobby Knight ever was. Whereas The General was just an everyday chair-throwing hothead, Sampson's more like Snidely Whiplash. He lurks in the shadows of high-school gymnasiums, tying rival coaches to the railroad tracks and absconding with their recruits.

Sampson thinks that ethics are a brand of sneakers. At Oklahoma, he and his staff committed 577 separate recruiting violations. As punishment, the NCAA restricted Sampson from telephoning or visiting recruits for one year. No big deal: He used e-mails and text messages to lure prize prepster Eric Gordon away from Illinois this fall.

Hehehe. Just because I live in Indiana doesn't mean I have to like IU. And I don't.

Does it bother you?

Mark 14:66-72 shares the account of Peter denying Jesus. Basically we deny Jesus every time we sin... we're denying the Lordship of Christ in our lives. And when Peter realizes what he's done - when the rooster crows the second time - it says, "...he broke down and wept."

Does it bother you when you sin? Sometimes it bothers me when I do, but I have to admit... sometimes it doesn't. You know, God-will-forgive-me; everybody does it; I'm just human, an' all that.

I don't think it's something that we should continually dwell on, and we shouldn't just mope around our whole lives feeling defeated... but I think our sin should bother us more. It should bother us to the point of confession. If I did something that really offended my wife, or a good friend, I would think it would bother me. I would probably want to get things right in good time. Perhaps our lack of confession, or being bothered by sin, says something about the relationship - or lack of one - we have with Christ. If I offend someone I hardly know it doesn't concern me near as much as offending someone I know well.

One of my favorite true stories is shared by Donald Miller in 'Blue Like Jazz.' Here it is from p.233:

A guy I know named Alan went around the country asking ministry leaders questions. He went to successful churches and asked the pastors what they were doing, why what they were doing was working. It sounded very boring except for one visit he made to a man named Bill Bright, the president of a big ministry. Alan said he was a big man, full of life, who listened without shifting his eyes (cool phrase, I think). Alan asked a few questions. I don't know what they were, but as a final question he asked Dr. Bright what Jesus meant to him. Alan said Dr. Bright could not answer the question. He said Dr. Bright just started to cry. He sat there in his big chair behind his big desk and wept.

When Alan told that story I wondered what it was like to love Jesus that way. I wondered, quite honestly, if that Bill Bright guy was just nuts or if he really knew Jesus in a personal way, so well that he would cry at the very mention of His name. I knew then that I would like to know Jesus like that, with my heart, not just my head. I felt like that would be the key to something.

The key to something, indeed. I want to know You like that too, Jesus.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

I am a liar

Yes, I know, I’m not supposed to lie because I am a member of the clergy; I have a lifetime ordination and all that. But it’s true.

I preach every Sunday and sometimes I tell people things they should do or believe… and I don’t practice them or live by my words myself. Oh, it’s not that I intentionally try to deceive people. But the truth is… there are certain things that I ‘want’ to believe about God… about the Bible… about humanity… but the reality is – I don’t honestly know. Or, there are some things that I really do believe, but it’s just as hard for me to trust in those beliefs as it is for everyone else. I mean, I sure hope I will go to heaven when I die; I sure hope a life of faith is more about a relationship than religious rituals; I sure hope it’s okay to still sin and all that. But do I know beyond a shadow of a doubt? Hmm.

I preach what I believe to be true, but I do not claim to know all truth. I preach from my relationship with God, but I don’t claim to have a perfect relationship. I preach from my beliefs, but I do not always live them because I am as human as the next person. It doesn’t mean I don’t believe at all. It might mean I am messed up. It might mean I am inadequate to speak for God. It probably means a lot of things, but it is what it is.

Perhaps what’s worse than the fact that I ‘have’ lied, is the fact that I will almost assuredly continue to lie. I am sure I will still say things like, “Oh, that’s alright;” “It doesn’t bother me;” “Don’t worry about it;” “I’m not upset;” and the biggie of all biggies… “They’re in a better place.” There are a whole host of things I WANT to be true, I want to believe… but…. you know.

It is depressing. Because I really hate it when people lie to me. And they do. I think Pastors are probably lied to more than any other people-group. So it hurts me to admit that I do it too.

Lord, hear my prayer: “I do believe; [but] help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

Summer planning (freaking out)

Okay, so I'm starting to freak out about this summer. I thought perhaps writing things out would help. I know I am not the busiest person in the world - not even close. But I don't run well at a fast pace. And once I hit overload... it can take me forever to recover. I don't want to do that. I have 2 weeks vacation left, and 1 "free" Sunday that I can be away.

Here is the run-down off the top of my head:

• April 5 - Maundy Thursday service. Feetwashing, communion, Stations of the Cross.
• April 8 - Easter Sunday. I feel like I "should" be doing something special...
• April 21 - Nephew Tim's wedding in Illinois.
• May 19 - Daughter Carrie's graduation from Huntington University!!! (wow. unbelievable)
• May 20 - Son Isaac starts his internship at the Mercy House in Anderson.
• June 1-2 - Wanted to go to Nashville, TN for reunion show with Jason & the Scorchers.
• June 8-9 - Powell family reunion in Illinois. Also 50th anniversary party for my parents.
• June 18-20 - CGGC General Conference in Findlay, OH. (have to go)
  
• July 17-19 - Midwest Region Conference Convention in Decatur, IL. (have to go)
• July 20-21 - Midwest Emergent Gathering in Rolling Meadows, IL (want to go)
• July 25-28 - Impact in Findlay, OH w/ Tony Campolo (want to go)
• August ?? - Darren & Megan's wedding.

Man, this didn't help AT ALL! And it sucks having to work weekends. Harumphf.

Midwest Emergent Gathering

Mike Clawson is working with some fellow Emergent cohort leaders to put on a Midwest Emergent Gathering this summer, July 20-21, in Rolling Meadows, IL (a northwest suburb of Chicago). It’ll be a chance to get together with emerging church types from all over the Midwest. The theme will be “Creating Missional Communities”. Already they’ve had interest expressed by people like Doug Pagitt, Tony Jones, Spencer Burke, Nanette Sawyer, Dave Fitch, Denise VanEck, Joe Myers and many others.

You can read more about it HERE, along with ways YOU can help; and I would suggest checking the up/rooted blog for further info on this event. Or... you can email me or leave a comment here and I'll do what I can to get you in-the-know.

I really like the idea of doing something IN THE MIDWEST! Yep.

Christian Peace Witness for Iraq

This is apparently what my son, Isaac, and his friends are attending this weekend. This is not my bag, but I admire those who are trying to do something. For more information, or if you would like to participate, go HERE.

3, 500 Christian Leaders from 48 States to Protest War at National Cathedral, Risk Arrest at White House

Tele-press conference Thursday, Event on Friday

Christian Peace Witness for Iraq will begin with a worship service on Friday, March 16 at Washington National Cathedral to be attended by more than 3,500 Christians from 48 states, followed by a candlelight procession through the center of our nation’s capital to the White House, where thousands of Christians will surround the White House bearing the light of peace, and 700 will risk arrest by remaining in prayer in front of the White House. The service begins at 7 p.m., and the White House vigil will begin at 10:30 p.m. It will be the largest Christian peace demonstration, as well as the largest single civil disobedience action at the White House, since the beginning of the Iraq war four years ago.

WHAT: Christian Peace Witness National Cathedral Worship Service, Procession and Action at White House

WHEN: Friday Event: March 16, 2007 at 7pm

Thursday Tele-Press Conference: March 15, 2007 at 10 am

WHERE: The National Cathedral

Massachusetts and Wisconsin Avenues, NW
Washington, D.C. 20016-5098

A road less traveled (I wish)

I have never liked to travel – especially in a car. And perhaps the only thing worse than knowing that I need to travel is worrying about my kids traveling. So this week will be a rough one. Isaac is driving to Washington DC, Carrie is flying to Los Angeles, and Jane and I are making an overnight trip to Illinois.

I think my fear and trembling must stem from two things. One, when I was young we used to travel quite a bit in the summers. My parents were both school teachers/administrators and we always seemed to be driving out west, or down south; and we were 2-3 hours away from their hometowns, so holidays always involved car travel.

Perhaps the major culprit though is that ten year period of working in a gas station along Interstate 80 (exit 45 in Illinois to be exact). I saw first-hand the hassles of breakdowns and the general all-around difficulty ‘life on the road’ can create. Stories always sound better in books and long after they’re over than they do in the reality of the present. There were so many unpleasantries I can’t even remember them all. We have also had our own share of problems with snow, rain, wind and fog in our many trips “back home.” I just don’t like traveling. (I remember now that these are the reasons I was NEVER going to move away from my hometown. Yep, always say never when you don't want something to happen).

But… I realize I probably have an extreme and unhealthy bias; and I’m not supposed to worry, and all that garbage. So today I pray that traveling mercies are real, and I ask you to extend them to our family this week/weekend, and next. And help me worry less… and trust you more.

A funny - but not really

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

from: Mikey's Funnies

Help for hurting women - A Friend's House

Last night we had our first PLS Night (Programs of Peace, Love, and Service). There were 16 in attendance - in addition to the two presenters - and it was a fantastic presentation and discussion on simple things we can do to have a profound impact on the lives of others.

This month's featured program was 'A Friends House' (click on the name to find them online). According to their web site:

A Friend’s House is a residential facility that provides a safe place for young women to live as they learn to successfully handle eating disorders, unplanned pregnancies, sexual abuse and substance abuse. A Friend’s House is located in Bluffton, Indiana and serves the Fort Wayne area, all of northeast Indiana and northwest Ohio, and will consider women from anywhere in the United States.

If you are a woman in need of help, I strongly urge you to visit their website: www.afriendshouse.net, or call them at 1-260-824-5556.

If you would like more information on how YOU can help them help others, there is also information on the website, or you can go HERE. They do not accept any government funding, and it is only through the generosity of people like you that they are able to provide young women with the opportunity to hear the gospel and allow Jesus to change their lives.

Aside from the need for financial assistance their website will soon share other practical ideas and ways to assist; or you can call the above number and ask personally what you might be able to do. They also stressed that they are always available and excited to give tours of their facility, or would be glad to come and share with your group. It sounds like a well-run and meaningful ministry.

Pastoral Health

I am hesitant to post a link to this post because... (1) I don't know that it's all that bad for me (right now). I believe I am in a rather unique situation compared to many pastors; and (2) Thinking about it only makes me feel worse. But, it's an interesting piece on the state of being a pastor. And I really don't think a lot of people realize just what it's like. Not that other jobs aren't difficult too, but some people really do think we only work one day a week. I did actually have a hard time getting health insurance when I first became a pastor - because of the occupational hazard rating coupled with my specific preexisting conditions.

Here's a snippet, but you should read the entire post [HERE] to get the whole story: (h/t Scot McKnight)

48% of them think their work is hazardous to their family’s well being. Another 45.5% will experience burnout or depression that will make them leave their jobs. And 70% say their self-esteem is lower now than when they started their position. They have the 2nd highest divorce rate among professions.

Who are they? They are pastors…[read the rest of this article here]

More than a feeling

I just read (here) where the lead singer of the band Boston died. Brad Delp was 55. I was not really a big fan of theirs, but... it was my "era" ya know.

Who reads "Blue Like Jazz"?

According to J.T.'s blog... Fieldy, the bass player for the band Korn was caught on camera reading Donald Miller's book. What does it mean? Probably that it's a great book. And you just never know...

Turn Your Clock Ahead

Don't forget to turn your clocks AHEAD one hour tomorrow (Saturday) night. At least in the United States, we begin Daylight Saving Time - officially at 2 am Sunday. I believe this is 3 weeks earlier than usual. So... if you go to bed at 11 pm, just set your clock for midnight when you go to bed. Then all will be normal in the morning (except to those who forgot to set their clocks ahead).

And let me just take a moment to speak to all of the people from INDIANA: CALL OR WRITE YOUR REPRESENTATIVE AND TELL THEM WE SHOULD SWITCH THE ENTIRE STATE TO CENTRAL TIME. I am all for Daylight Saving Time, as long as we're in the Central time zone. It's the best of both worlds. It gives us more daylight at night during DST, but we also won't have to start our day in darkness the rest of the year. I personally believe it is because we are the western-most Eastern Time Zone state that leads to Hoosiers being the grumpiest people I know. Some reasons it would benefit us:

• We would be happier and more rested.
• The sun could wake us up - like I believe it should - rather than waking up in the darkness of night.
• Our children wouldn't have to wait for the bus in the dark.
• It would align us time-wise with the largest metropolitan area closest to us (Chicago). God forbid we would want to do something that makes good business sense.
• Letterman, Leno, and Monday Night Football wouldn't be on so stinking late!
  

I actually believe this was the governor's intention: to start observing DST (like the rest of the country), but to switch the entire state to the Central Time Zone. Regardless of how you feel about the governor, this is a good idea (IMHO). So... you have two assignments this weekend: (1) set your clock an hour ahead Saturday night; and (2) call or write your state representative/congressman/senator/governor and whoever else can help, and tell them we want to switch the entire state to the Central Time Zone. Thanks. :)

Contemplation

I don't know why I liked this painting so much. Not necessarily $1800 much... but it just kind of draws me in for some reason. It is an oil and mixed media on panel by Richard Garrison called... "contemplation."

Church critics - pt. 2

Yesterday's post seemed whiny, as usual. I didn't really intend for it to be about the critics themselves, so much as about my need to quit listening for a while. As far as people leaving church, or those who have problems with the church... I honestly do understand in many cases. In fact, I am one of them. I simply could not be a part of a whole lotta churches. That doesn't mean some of them are wrong though - they obviously work for many people. Just not me. But I fear, in fact I KNOW, there are many critics who are just plain critical people. And I am not mad at them near so much as I am sad for them. Because I can tend to be a bit critical myself from time to time, and it's a lonely, sad state to be in. It's usually because there is something else wrong. But at the same time, there are some people who are critical of the church, and they have very good reason to be. I don't want to minimize those who have been deeply wounded, used, taken advantage of, or harmed in any way. As I said yesterday, sometimes pastors/church leaders are very much to blame.

I think the thing that's been on my mind lately is just that I need a break from reading/hearing about it. Certainly, if someone has been hurt, they need to deal with it. And a blog is a nice way to do that sometimes. But there also comes a point where one can only hear so much negative talk without it totally demoralizing them. I mean... the church is not ALL bad; all pastors aren't wrong in everything they do; and sometimes, yes sometimes, the fault does lie with the people spewing the venom.

So, if anyone was offended yesterday... you know, perhaps it was conviction. Or perhaps it was because I didn't state my case very well (I'm not a writer, this blog is just a place to put my personal ramblings). In any event, let it be known that I love the church. Even with all of it's problems, it is still the hope of the world; it is still the body of Christ; it is still a magnificant thing indeed. My life would be incomplete without it. My world would be dark and meaningless. My employment status would be jeopardized! :) Maybe what I should have said was simply: I need to do more reading for personal spiritual growth, rather than church-type stuff. Oh, and I did read some from Kerouac's "On The Road."

Peace, peeps.

(sculpture from New Englad Scupltors Gallery)

Church critics

Warning - Do not read any further if you are easily offended. This is a vent.

I've been thinking a lot lately about critics and criticism of the church. I read this morning about some college basketball teams that were not going to watch or read any sports news for the time being - because of all that's being said about Selection Sunday (for the NCAA tournament). They said they just need to "go out and play and not worry about what people are saying." I think that's what I need to do as a pastor. No offense to anyone, but honestly, I just can't read anymore books, articles, or posts about what pastors need to do, don't need to do, how the church is wrong, and on and on and on. It seems everybody's a critic and everybody knows what church leaders should do... except the church leaders. I'm certainly not trying to say pastors/church leaders know everything - most of them will be the first to admit it - but it's not like we get up every morning trying to figure out how we can ruin people's lives either.

One statement that has always stuck with me was made by someone who had left our church (and a whole string of churches before ours). Jane and I went to visit them to try to find out what was wrong (since they'd said nothing to US about any displeasure), and the wife says, "We're leaving because you just don't care about all the wonderful people at that church." [think about that for a moment]. Um, so, if I understand correctly, they ARE leaving this community because they DO care about them? I mean, if I didn't care about the people in my church I would have left a LONGGGGG time ago. My personal opinion is - these people were leaving because the church leaders told this woman "no" about something and she was going to prove to everyone that no one tells her "no" and gets away with it. It had nothing to do with caring about anybody but herself!

I certainly can't speak for any other pastors out there (well, I can speak for some, because I know them), but I don't know of too many that do what they do for the money, or the prestige, or the benefits. Sure, pastors and priests used to be respected individuals, but nowadays they rank right up there with used car salesmen. And whether they should or shouldn't isn't the issue. Just don't go thinkin it's some kind of ego booster because it's not. I know how people avoid us, how people don't want to make eye contact, don't want to make commitments, don't want to get "too close" because, you know, they don't want the pastor to use them or they know it won't last because pastors are never kept around too long.

Sometimes the most hurtful thing a person can do is take a step away. And while we are supposed to be the most caring people in the world, we're not supposed to let that bother us??

Sure, there are problems in the church. And, yes, pastors share the blame. But not all of it. One thing I just do not understand is how people don't see their actions as making any difference to anyone else. I hadn't really thought about it, but I had someone in my church come to me once and, they were kind of down, and it was because they didn't understand why a few of our older people refused to become members of the church. These people had attended faithfully for years, but they just didn't want to "sign on the dotted line." I shared with this person some of the excuses I had heard, and they said, "But don't they know how that makes the rest of us feel. It's not just that they're not making a commitment, it's that they are rejecting us." And I think that's true.

Everybody wants certain people to be committed to them. We want to know there's someone who will be there for us if we need them; that there's someone we can count on; that no matter what we do these people will forgive us, and accept us, and love us. The problem is... so many people aren't willing to do that for others. I think that could be filed under: "self-centered." It's like people want the church to be something that they don't want to be themselves. And what they fail to realize is that if they aren't willing to be that way, then it isn't going to happen. Because the church isn't an organization; it isn't a leadership council; it is THE people... it is them. It is imperfect, sinful, wanting to do better, hoping, seeking, trying, falling, getting up again, asking for forgiveness, bestowing forgiveness, fighting, surrendering, loving, grace-filled, needful. It is people who need Jesus. Who can admit it; who can embrace it; who aren't afraid to say it.

I don't know... Is there any hope? Personally I don't think we could kill it if we tried. But we're sure giving it a good run for our money. Help us, Jesus. Help us all.

Church I'm talkin 'bout

My mind has been movin' to getting our church building going. Honestly, I can't imagine me heading up any kind of "building program," 'cause, you know, that's just so much pressure. But... it's in my head so what am I gonna do.

My thinking is along the lines of Church as third place. I love their tag line "Your living room only bigger. Your life only bigger." Yep.

My building dream:
Something like a 60'x100' barn-type structure. Somehow attach it to our restroom hallway. Enter from the east or east/north side. Have a big moveable divider down the middle of the room, and as you enter, there would be a kitchen with a big counter and there would be tables and chairs and couches and whatnot (big living room, dining room) and t.v.'s and video games and pool tables and all that whatnot. This would be the entryway, hangout spot. On the other side of the divider would be the worship area. Probably need a portable stage set-up or something in the south west corner, and it would be nice to have several screens hung in different spots - some straight on and some angled in different ways (for when you're slouching sideways in a chair or laying on the floor). Probably have chairs up front, but in the back have some tables and chairs and whatnot. And maybe in the way back have a couple little cubicles where people could go to pray or whatever.

I think in any church building built today the entryway needs to be just as big as the worship space. There needs to be lots of places for COMMUNITY to happen. Face to face, one on one, small group, big group sorta stuff.

I would anticipate there always being drinks and snacks available - heck, maybe pop machines and stuff like that. Having it be a meeting place not only before and after our worship gatherings, but at any time during the week. You know, like, if you don't have anythign to do some night, or need a place to go but don't want to spend a bunch of money, stuff like that. A meeting place; a third place; a place to be alone but not alone; a place to be; a place to find God maybe! And of course there would be free wireless. That goes without sayin'. We already have that.

Yeah, that's just what I'm thinkin. There's more too, but gotta go.

Am I failing... or is this just living?

(mm... I'm just thinking. This could be long)

I was thinking today that… perhaps I’ve never really known what it was like to fail at anything. I mean, my life has been pretty good and all. But then I began to wonder… maybe I have been a failure and I’m just too naïve to notice.

I don’t have a real good recollection of my youth, but I remember not being a real good basketball or baseball player. I went to a small school and one was expected to do these things. I finally was able to escape the embarrassment by deciding to “concentrate” on football and track. Not a big deal.

Then there was my junior year in high school. As a sophomore I had started as a wide receiver and cornerback. This year the coach wanted me to play quarterback and safety – even though I ‘wanted’ to be a running back. I think it was the third or fourth game he told me I could call my own plays. I fumbled the ball SIX times that game. Even though we won, I told him afterwards I couldn’t continue as quarterback and was either going to quit or needed to play a different position. He put me back at receiver. So I could have been a failure, but I ended up playing a number of different positions that year - and really enjoyed being relieved of the pressure. One game I threw a touchdown pass, caught a touchdown pass, and ran for a touchdown.

There were high expectations for me my senior year in track. I had qualified for state the two previous years – but all on relays. This year I was the ‘featured’ sprinter. I had the fastest qualifying 100 meter time in our district. At the qualifying meet for state I easily won the preliminary rounds in the 100, and while running the 200 meter prelim I was running perhaps the best race of my life – it felt soooo good. Until I blew my hamstring about ¾ of the way into the race. I still managed to qualify for finals. I ended up barely being able to get in the starting blocks for the 100, and false started. I couldn’t even run by the time the 200 finals came around. Failure or hard luck?

I also have had several girls who dumped me. And I’ve dumped some of them. Even though I ended up well and have a wonderful wife, it’s not like our marriage has been 24 years of bliss. We ‘might’ have had as many good years as bad ones by now, but I haven’t been counting lately.

I quit college after two years and no degree right out of high school – even though I was only one semester away from an Electronics Repair degree in 1983. And even when I went back to school and seminary… the whole plan was to plant a church. Instead I ended up in a small country church that was basically the kind of place I said I would NEVER go to. But I actually think all those people who say planting is so much better than trying to deal with an old church are maybe not entirely correct. And even though things aren’t exactly going the way I had hoped, I have a hard time looking at it as hope-less.

So, am I a failure? I don’t know… seems pretty much like life to me. Sure I have tripped and fallen and been hurt time and again. But I have also been able to run and play and love. Perhaps failure is only fatal when we let it define us. But as my friend Jason once said, “The point is dying if we don’t live when we’re alive.”

Here’s to livin’ life, my friends. Rock on.

What's the point of worship?

Will Willimon has a great answer! To see the full post go here, but he says,

Love is not love if it is simply a matter of obeying rules, running errands, and performing duties. Some things we do just because we enjoy being in the presence of our loved one. So we sing songs, write poetry, dance, clap our hands, share food, or simply prop up our feet and do nothing but enjoy being with one another. In these purposeless moments of sheer enjoyment, we come very close to what love is all about.

If someone asked a Christian, “What’s the purpose of your worship? Why do you gather on Sunday and sing songs, dress up, kneel, march in processions, clap your hands, shed tears, speak, eat, and listen?” We could only say, “Because we are in love.”

(h/t Milton Stanley)

Not that I believe in karma, but...

Things sure have a way of evening out, don't they? I was feeling pretty good. Last night a friend of ours surprisingly bought our supper. He didn't have to, and it was totally unnecessary, and I wasn't real sure what was even going on at the time... but it was very much appreciated (thanks again, Mike!). So, this morning I was thinking about how lucky we are to have the friends we have. Then I made a trip to the Bluffton Hospital to pray with someone before they had surgery. I really don't like hospitals, but it does often make me feel like I actually contribute in certain times like this. I was feeling good about that. I happened to be driving my daughter's car and thought I would fill it up with gas and even take it through the car wash. Again - something nice I could do that I know she would appreciate and it would make me feel good too. So...... after putting in the gas, I went to get back in the car and... ugh... I locked the keys in it! (I know both my kids are smiling now). :)

So I walked down to where Jane works, took her car home and got the other set of Carrie's keys. At least the car wasn't RUNNING. :) But if that's as bad as my week goes, then it won't be too bad at all.

Peace, peeps.

Random thoughts...

No meat here. Just ramblin'.

• I seem to be extra worn down today. Not just physically tired, but mentally/emotionally. I forgot I hadn't preached or led worship 2 of the previous 3 weeks. Hrmph.
• I once heard that the amount of stress and strain on a pastor for a 1-hour worship service was the equivalent of a normal 8-hour work day. I don't know if that's true or not, but it feels like more.
• I think silence from others is the worst. Not knowing what people are thinking.
• We cleared out all the decorations from our sanctuary - except the crosses. All the wall-hangings, fake trees, flowers, flags, etc. It's a simple measure aimed at trying to keep our focus on the cross during Lent.
• Today was the first Sunday in awhile that I didn't have the pulpit to hide behind. I got rid of it not long after arriving here. Then last year sometime I put it back. I think I was thinking about quitting or something. I like how it looks and the atmosphere it creates with just a music stand and the stool. But I feel so much more vulnerable. Plus it probably drives people nuts when I stand up and sit down all the time.
  
• Several of us went to the Home & Garden Show yesterday to try to find a deal on playground equipment for our park. I think we found some that is pretty much just what we were looking for, and it's way cheaper than most of the stuff we'd looked at. That would be cool to get that done.
• Way more good things have happened to me, but for some reason I only notice and remember the bad things.
• It looks like we might not be able to go to Nashville to see Jason & the Scorchers after all. Too much going on this summer. Whatever.
• I handle disappointment much better now than I used to. I don't think it's because I just don't care anymore. Maybe I'm getting used to it. Or... maybe I'm learning that it's not the end of the world. "Only gypsies are made in a day."
• I have a lot to do this week.
• I have quite a few weddings in the pan at the moment. Seems like I haven't done any for awhile.
• I never thought about getting emotional during my nephews wedding. He was the first baby I ever held. Now I'm marrying him. That will be weird. I plan to use the line from "The Princess Bride" wedding scene in their wedding. "Mawage..."
• I need to go locate my power cord. Battery is about done.
  

Secrets of a happy marriage (maybe)

I don't know that I'm recommending this. I wanted to keep this article somewhere that I could for sure find it later. Just in skimming it looks okay, but don't go quotin' me.

• Five Secrets of a Happy Marriage: a thirty-minute marriage saver
  

I Got JATS Tickets!

One of my all-time favorite bands is doing a reunion/fundraisor show at the Exit/In in Nashville, TN... and I JUST GOT MY TICKETS! I don't even care that it cost $60, and we'll have to drive to Nashville. I'm not really even sure that Jane and I can get off work yet, and it's the day after Isaac's birthday, but we're going to try like heck to be there! Plus, the show is a benefit for their long-time drummer Perry Baggs - who is struggling with health problems.

In case you're not familiar with Jason and the Scorchers, they are long past their hayday, but I'm thinkin' they can still put on a show. They were once rated as one of the top live bands in the world. Their wikipedia spot says of them:

"Jason & The Scorchers were a pioneering alt country band led by Jason Ringenberg whose sound combined punk with country music. One publication once called them "the great lost band of the [nineteen] eighties."

It will also be a reunion for others of us too. There is a JATS fan group called "Reckless Country Soup" who hail from all over the world (this is where I know my friend Whisky Prajer from). Many of us are already planning a gathering in Nashvegas (look out Hampton Inn). I think this will be the third time that Jane and I have met up with the group for a show. Here are some pictures I took from several years ago. Although the last time we were there we had an even bigger crowd - and a whale of a time at Tommy Womack's house concert the night before.

Jason is actually an old friend... and, in fact, his brother Jerry and I were classmates and quite good friends in high school. Jerry played and sang at our wedding. Truth be told, I always thought he was the better talent, but Jason (we knew him as Jim) had the heart and drive. They are both super-fantastic people. I'm hoping to get Jason and his alter-ego Farmer Jason to come for a show at our pavilion this summer.

Here are links to some of their videos on YouTube:

• Absolutely Sweet Marie
• Shotgun Blues / Ghosttown
  
• White Lies
• Golden Ball and Chain
  
• Find You (off MTV)

Some songs set to video/movies:

• Bible and a Gun
• Ocean of Doubt
• My Kingdom For A Car
  

... I am HAPPY!!!

On the road

For some odd reason I decided I wanted to read some classic literature (other than the Bible - which is about as classic as it gets). After wandering around B & N for a brief eon, wondering when all these 'other' books arrived on the shelves, I finally went with Jack Kerouac's "On The Road." Me favorite son says it's his best, and one of THE best (the postmodern beat that he is). He offered to loan me his, but I tend to mark books up pretty bad, thinking someday I will return to the morsels for a snack, or add them in a stir-fry of sorts. So far I've only read the 27-page intro by Ann Charters out of my Penguin Classics copy. And this just so happens to be the 50th anniversary of its publication.

Supposedly 'On the Road' was typed out in one 3-week period in 1951. Kerouac didn't want to take time changing sheets of paper, so he either taped pages together or used teletype trimmed to fit (I'm not real sure about this), and the finished product was "a roll of paper typed as a single-spaced paragraph 120 feet long" (p.xix). This roll is still in existance, and for us hoosiers you will be interested to know that Jim Irsay - owner of the Indianapolis Colts - bought it in 2001 for $2.4 million. The roll was on display in sections at Indiana University's Lilly Library in mid-2003. In January 2004, the roll began a 13-stop, four-year national tour of museums and libraries. Who'd a thought.

You will find many different definitions and ideas on what a "beat" or "beatnik" is, but the intro to the book says (viii) Kerouac used to define a "beat" as: "...a state of exalted exhaustion, but which was also linked in Jack's mind to a Catholic beatific vision, the direct knowledge of God enjoyed by the blessed in heaven." Apparently folks didn't like the religious derivation, so this explanation wasn't real popular.

One other interesting note: According to Wikipedia, at the time of Kerouac's death in 1969, his estate was worth little more than ninety-one dollars, but by 2004 it had grown to an estimated $20 million. That'll probably be my luck too. Ha!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading it. (Note to self: next read should be 'Pilgrim's Progress').

I confess... I used steroids

Oh, I didn't take them myself. I came by my physique naturally, thank you very much. Actually, I administered them to someone else. And it was a sad shame seeing what they did.

About 8 or 9 years ago our poor little dog Bogie developed some strange blood disorder. So we had to put him on steroids. He didn't balloon quite like Barry Bonds, but the poor little guy got so bloated his stomach almost drug the ground when he walked. And if you're wondering - no - it didn't raise his batting average one bit.

So, there you have it. I expect a full investigation will now ensue. I agree to cooperate fully.

In like a lion, out like a lamb

March is here, and this is the month where the old saying says it's either "In like a lion and out like a lamb" or "In like a lamb and out like a lion." I think the thunderstorm last night and today qualifies this as a "lion" way to start the month (here in Fort Wayne). So that means it should end with nice weather. Right? (We should ask that groundhog someday. Get on that, Frank).

Does anyone know the origin of the saying? According to the Weather Guys "in like a lion, out like a lamb" is true for most locations because the average temperature at the end of the month is higher than at the beginning. But... they also say, "The phrase apparently has its origins with the constellations Leo, the Lion, and Aries, the ram or lamb. It has to do with the relative positions of these constellations in the sky at the beginning and end of the month. But don't take my word for it, check out this illustrative cartoon from the Stargazer himself, Jack Horkheimer."

That's the best I could come up with. Any other info out there?

I'm too pessimistic and leery

Pessimism and lack of trust in others are perhaps my two biggest problems. I don't really trust anyone, and you may wonder why that's so bad, but it leads to being much too negative a person. Which has then robbed me of much joy in the friendships I have, and cost me some friendships that I could have had; but it's also cost others whom I might have helped. As best as I can tell, the reason for my lack of trust is tied to my not wanting to be played for a fool. I don't want to 'look bad.' Which is a rather vain and self-centered reason, indeed.

I've been aware of this problem for some time, but it just hit me between the eyes as I took a phone call a moment ago. I am always leery of answering the phone at the church, because it is usually a sales call (honestly, probably 3/4 of the calls I get are). Or else it's the guy who calls here all the time asking for money. He always acts like he's never called here before, but he does about once a month.

Anyway, I answered the phone and this person asked if I had a moment to talk. I reluctantly said, "okay," only because of the hollow sound of their voice. But then they blurted out, "In the final judgement, what will we be judged for?" And I immediately thought it was one of my dreaded end-times "friends" trying to get me into an argument. So I put up the ole' guard and asked what the nature of his call was. And... to make a long story short, he finally mentioned that his friend had committed suicide... and he wondered what would happen to him... He said he had been going through the phone book... calling churches... trying to find answers... trying to find someone to help him. I was completely humbled.

We talked for a bit, and I didn't have too many answers, but asked if I could pray for him. I don't know if it helped much, but at least it helped me to see how harmful my pessimistic lack of trust in others could be.

Lord, forgive me. I need to quit worrying so much about myself. Help me be more like Jesus. Amen.