Smells and bells 5: the need of our churches

In Mark Galli's book Beyond Smells and Bells he talks about 'a more real culture.' I've spent most of my church-leader life thinking the church needed to be more "relevant" for people. He debunks this thought. Here are a few good quotes:

p. 57 - The world the liturgy reveals does not seem relevant at first glance, but it turns out that the world it reveals is more real than the one we inhabit day by day.

p. 58 - How difficult it is to remember the fundamental need of our churches and the people who attend them: to see God.

p. 58 (from Eugene Peterson) - I don't think people care a whole lot about what kind of music you have or how you shape the service. They want a place where God is taken seriously, where they're taken seriously.

Yeah.

New tunes & a candle

I put some new tunes on the ipod yesterday. I found a bunch of empty cd cases of stuff I wanted to put on, but this was the list for today:

• Neil Young - Live at Massey Hall 1971
• Neil Young - Unplugged
• Neil Young - Prairie Wind
• Neil Young & Crazy Horse - Weld (disc one)
• Johnny Cash - American IV: The Man Comes Around (just got it - great!)
• U2 - How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb
• U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind
• Pink Floyd - Dark Side of The Moon
• The Best of Arlo Guthrie
• Eric Clapton - Unplugged
• The Who - The Ultimate Collection
• Sunday's Off (still one of my fav's. Probably because I used to be a roadie, escort, oh, and dad) :)
  

I also made another candle last Friday. I only have one mold - a tall medium round. I used up all the wax I had, and put some colored "chunks" in it. It turned out ok I guess, but I got the wax too hot and melted some of the chunks. You're only supposed to heat the wax to 180-190 degrees when using chunks, and I had it cranked up to like 225. Whatever. It still burns.

I don't know why, but I like making candles. I'm not very good at it, and I don't really know what I'm doing, but it's something to do. Lady Jane likes to burn them at night.

Smells and bells 4: mystery

On pp. 51-52 of Mark Galli's Beyond Smells and Bells he first quotes Benedictine writer Jerry Driscoll:

The word 'mystery' preserves the tension between the concrete and the divine. Something is definitely present, but what is present exceeds and overflows the limits of the concrete, even if it is present only by means of it. This is mysterious, in a way unique to Christian understanding.

Yep, I agree. Just because all we see are bread and juice (in our case), for instance, doesn't mean that is all that's there.

Later on p. 52 Galli says...

A minister says words and performs actions, but at a deeper level, it is Christ who is presiding. We share in bread and wine, but the reality is that we are taking Christ into us. It looks like this is all occurring in time and space, when in fact the boundaries of time and space are being shattered, when for a few moments "heaven and earth are full of [God's] glory."

When all is said and done, though it may look like we've done nothing more than re-enact a routine religious meal, in fact, as the concluding prayer notes, something terribly significant has occurred: "You have graciously accepted us as living members of your Son our Savior Jesus Christ, and you have fed us with spiritual food in the sacrament of his body and blood."

Smells and bells 3: community

On p. 31 of Mark Galli's book Beyond Smells and Bells:

The liturgy leads us first to the Triune God. In the beginning was God, and that means in the beginning was relationship - between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We do not worship a solitary "monogod," sufficient unto himself, but one who has existed from eternity in self-giving love among the members of the Trinity.

If God-as-Trinity is the core reality of the universe, that means that the core of reality is community.

This is not easy for someone like me to accept. I have been suckled since infancy on the metaphor of the social contract: we are individuals first who then band together when it serves our self-interest. The community exists to help me self-actualize. I take it or leave it depending on whether it helps me do that. So I never really commit to community (yeah, you and everybody else).

My lifelong participation in the church seems to belie that, but I've learned the fine art of participating without being fully present, of doing a flurry of work for the church but hiding my deeper self from others. I never get deeply involved in the lives of others, because, well, that just complicates my life. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of a living community.

I'd like to think that I can manage life on my own, with just a 'little' help from my friends - as long as I keep my emotional distance. My primary identity, I like to imagine, is wrapped up in my gifts and talents and unique characteristics - as if the essence of my being is the "I," making the "we" of community a nice add-on, but not necessary. But the truth is that the core of my identity lies not in my individuality. Locke, Hobbes, and Rousseau notwithstanding, it is not "I think, therefore I am." It is not, like Sheila, "I believe, therefore I am." The deeper truth is this: "God speaks, therefore we are."

...

The liturgy is a story we participate in. Part of that story is the story of community -- created, broken, and restored.

This story is both liberating (freeing us from the burden of the self) and utterly frightening (we have to step out of the self). But this is the God and the community that the liturgy wants us to meet -- and be transformed by.

P. 35-36:

This is tough to swallow. The church has always been a worrisome and dysfunctional place where community-destroying sins - gossip, anger, envy, pride, among others - are fruitful and multiply. We rightfully expect much of those who publicly claim allegiance to the kingdom of God, and we are rightfully resentful when the church instead looks like a failed state.

No wonder many disciples bitterly abandon the church, striking out on their own, hoping against hope that, maybe as individuals shorn of religion, they can scale spiritual heights. Granite peaks do not offer sweeping vistas, but they are lonely places. Saints like Francis of Assissi, Teresa of Avila, and Ignatius of Loyola, while knowing peak experiences, grounded themselves in the fellowship of prayer called the church. They knew that they could not ultimately love God whom they had not seen if they could not love those whom they could see.

---

The church is the community that together longs for healing, and is promised that it will receive what it longs for, not just as individuals but in union with others.

The date of easter

In Mark Galli's book Beyond Smells and Bells he tells how the date for Easter Sunday is derived. I have known this, but it seems whenever people ask me about it I can't think of it. On p. 24 he says, "...it is the first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the spring equinox."

Yeah, that helps, right.

Smells and bells 2: the church calendar

In Mark Galli's Beyond Smells and Bells he talks about the difference between the "church" calendar, and the regular calendar most people operate by which marks time by the seasons of Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall. Instead the church calendar marks time by Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Easter, and Pentecost. He says on p. 22...

The church calendar aims at nothing less than to change the way we experience time and perceive reality.

I like that. Merely following the seasons doesn't change anything - other than making us more aware of how old we are. But for the Christian - for those of us with an eternal mindset - we don't need to be concerned with aging. It's about following, and participating in, the story of God and Christ and Spirit.

Donald miller at the dnc

We've been watching bits and pieces of the Democratic National Convention. I don't care much for the commentators, but some of the speeches have been good. I missed this closing benediction by Donald Miller though. Thanks to marko for posting it. Thanks also to Don for giving it.

(NOTE: There is one little part where the sound drops out, but it comes back.)

Smells and bells 1: what is liturgy

I'm reading Mark Galli's little book Beyond Smells and Bells. I like books like this. One, because it is short - around 130 small pages (with regular-sized font). Two, because it is easy to read and makes sense. So, I will drop a few quotes here and there.

On p. 14 he explains:

'Liturgy' comes from a Greek word meaning "a public service." When I refer to "the liturgy" in this book, I am referring to the public Sunday service performed by liturgical and mainline churches.

On p. 18:

So, the liturgy teaches us ABOUT the story, especially in Word and Sacrament. But it does more. It also EMBODIES the Christian story in its very structure - God gathers people for a great banquet at which he presides, gives us a Word, and offers us the fruit of his labor of love. From there, God sends us out to participate in the great gathering work.

By participating in the liturgy, we're doing more than "attending a service." We are entering a story - a story in which we also play a role. We are the people who have indeed been gathered. We are the people who share in God's very life. We are the people sent forth to proclaim God's story and to invite people into the grand story.

Let me die

I was mowing today and when I got around the pavilion I noticed a furry ball curled up right smack in the center of the concrete floor. At first I couldn't tell if it was a cat or a raccoon. Eventually the old masked marauder lifted his head and wobbled a few steps... before falling in another exhausted heap. He did this for awhile - gingerly taking a few steps, collapse; wander a little further, and collapse again; over and over. It was sad to watch even a raccoon in his dying moments.

I didn't know if this was nature taking its course, if he was rabid, or both, but I decided to mow on the other side of the building nonetheless and let him be. He finally made it out into the field. But later I noticed that he was back in the church yard, and he seemed to be ever-so-slowly meandering in my direction. I swung around him and finished up mowing the pavilion area, put the mower away, but when I headed back to the office... he had plopped himself down right in front of the church door. His chin gently resting on his hands - one on top of the other.

I don't know why I feel so bad for a raccoon. He looked really lonely. It makes you wonder if he didn't see a little church and hope beyond hope that he'd find some kind of solace there. His last desperate attempt at salvation possibly; and if all else fails, hoping someone will at least find him on their way, and offer as much as a prayer.

I'm not really into praying for animals. But what can it hurt.

I've been listening to Dylan while writing this.

Tangible quotes

Here are my highlights (or things I wanted to remember) from The Tangible Kingdom. Sorry it's long. I tried to trim it down, but... you know. Hopefully my lowlights won't be quite as long.

** p. xxii – “…create new places of belonging, benevolence, and blessing…”

p. 27 – “We used to be told that the number one indicator of a new church’s success is how many people they have when they start. Now we say, the number one problem you’ll have will be based on bringing too many people with you. Why? Because a good majority of the Christian world is unconsciously a Milo or a Mitten (his cats). They have good hearts, but they hate change, they’ve gotten used to being provided for, and many will take too much of your time and energy to try to keep on the mission with you.”

** p. 30 – “We must realize that slight tweaks, new music, creative lighting, wearing hula shirts, shorts, and flip-flops won’t make doing church more attractive. Church must not be the goal of the gospel anymore. Church should not be the focus of our efforts or the banner we hold up to explain what we’re about. Church should be what ends up happening as a natural response to people wanting to follow us, be with us, and be like us as we are following the way of Christ.”

** p. 34 – “Would it be okay to consider that there are degrees of missionality? That some will be sent to cross the blue seas, cross cultures, and go to the far reaches of paganism in order to find the one lost sheep, while others may just need to be sent across the street? Is it possible that God doesn’t need nor ask everyone to start something new? Is it possible that God needs millions of leaders to care for a host of Christians who won’t be able to make the turn into new forms of church? I think so… I think we must. The transition within the U.S. church doesn’t require that we all travel on the same ship, but we must all sail on the same sea.”

All of chapter 6 is good – POSTURE.

p. 38 – “Missional has an inseparable twin. It’s called “incarnational.” The root meaning of incarnational means ‘any person or thing serving as the type or embodiment of a quality or concept.’ Specifically, it means to ‘embody in the flesh.’ John 1:14 gives us the picture: ‘And the Word (Jesus) became flesh and made his dwelling among us.’ The missional part was Jesus leaving his Father’s side in the heavens and coming to us in the form of a human. The incarnational part was how he took on flesh and lived with us. Said another way, missional sentness is focused on leaving and everything related to going, but incarnational represents how we go and what we do as we go.”

p. 39 – “This (previous) is where a missionary starts. And the first thing that must change is our posture.”

p. 39 – “Words communicate what we know; posture represents what we believe and feel. Therefore, posture is the most important part of relationship and communication. Posture shows true emotion and the intent of our heart.”

p. 41 – ”In North America, people don’t have any sense of the true Christian message any more because the face of that message looks so unlike the founder. Christianity is now almost impossible to explain, not because the concepts are intelligible, but because the living, moving, speaking examples of our faith don’t line up with the message. Our poor posture overshadows the most beautiful story and reality the world has ever known.”

** p. 42 – “What makes the gospel good news isn’t the concept, but the real-life person who has been changed by it.”

** p. 44 – “Henri Nouwen puts it like this: ‘The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares.”

** p. 46 – “Our main contention is that what drew people to Jesus, surprisingly, was not his message. It was him. His face, the softness in his voice, the whimsical look he gave the children, how he laughed, and how he lived. His message repelled people. Many people who were drawn to him as a man would leave after he let them in on the message. This is quite a switch for most of us. We try to draw others by soft-pedaling the message and end up repelling them by how we live our lives.”

pp. 52-54 – The kingdom values of Sacrificial Community, Confrontation, and Inclusive Community…

p. 54 – “We really don’t need more converts; we need people who are willing to act upon the basics that Jesus taught. Things like caring for the poor and oppressed, the hurting, and the confused.”

p. 61 ff – The three paradigms of Westernism, Easternism, and Postmodernism. (good)

p. 67 – “Remember, there’s one thing that is just as important as truth, and maybe even more important. That is whether or not someone is willing or ready to receive truth.”

p. 89 – “…blessing, as we have said, means the ‘life of God flowing tangibly onto his people.’”

p. 90 – “What was the gospel? What is the gospel? It is the tangible life of God flowing into every nook and cranny of our everyday life.”

p. 101 – “Where we have people, and vision, and a common call (especially if that call is from God), we have to commit at some level to structures, even if we’re helping coach the neighborhood soccer team.”

** p. 101 – Question to church planting candidates who don’t feel structure is necessary: “What happens if it works?... You know, what if all your spontaneous, natural, relational, nonreligious ways affect someone’s heart and they want to join in? And what happens if that keeps working the same way for hundreds of people?”

p. 109 – “The Scriptures call for people to trust, work with, respect, give to, and even submit to godly leaders.”

p. 110 – “Most pastors we work with would love to lead from the front instead of from above, from the streets instead of from the office. But they don’t because so many people still expect them to keep the spiritual vending machine spitting out all the goodies!”

*****p. 111 – “So, who are the missional people? They are the individuals committed to forming their character and lifestyle after those of Christ and who are compelled to live out their faith in the context of a community.”

**p. 112 – Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Life Together): “He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.”

p. 118 – “I’d get questions like, ‘But what happens if someone from the clubs comes in and sees pagan Pete playing his tuba to ‘This is the Air I Breathe’ and yet the night before he saw Pete smoking a joint? Won’t that send the wrong message?” My response is, “What is the message you want to convey?” If you want to convey that someone who is up on the church stage has to prove a certain level of spiritual stability, then fine. That is your choice. But if you want to convey that your community is a place where anybody, in any phase of spiritual curiosity, can be in an environment in which God can touch their hearts, then you may try something like opening up your music group to include some Sojourners.”

p. 140 – Jesus prayer from John 17:15: “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.”

p. 144 – Selfishness is the enemy of “Leaving.” Fear is the enemy of “Living Among.” Arrogance is the enemy of “Listening.” Expectations are the enemy of “Loving.”

p. 148 – “We believe that whenever you see a group of people who find a rhythm or balance among communion, community, and mission, you will always find the Kingdom. It will be tangible!” (good section on the primary spheres of Incarnational Community).

p. 151 – “We win out over individualism by discipling togetherness, through gentle confrontation, and by eliminating spiritual services that allow people to remain autonomous or invisible.”

p. 151 – “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” (Mother Teresa)

p. 167 – How they do “Bible and Discussion Times”:

Stretch out your right hand as far as you can. Next, measure the distance between your thumb and pinky. Read that much scripture only. Preferably a contained story or idea. Like the second chapter of James, or a parable, or one of the Psalms like chapter 23. After you have read the scripture, ask these five questions and let people answer as they feel led:

1). What did you like about what we just read?

2). What didn’t you like?

3). Was there anything you didn’t understand?

4). What did you learn about God?

5). Regardless of where your faith is at right now, if you were to apply what we learned about God to something in your life this week, what would that look like?”

p. 168 – “Church gatherings were never the intended goal; they were the natural result of people finding others who were living their alternative Kingdom story. The goal of our missional life is not to grow churches. The goal of church is to grow missionaries. The goal of the gospel is not to get people to church. The result of the gospel is that people will find each other and gather because of the deep meaning of a common experience.”

p. 168 – Hebrews 10:24-25 explanation…

** p. 173 – “True transformation happens only when God’s heart becomes a habit in our normal Christian community.”

Pot cleaner in yellow

Ugh. A long day. Another one of "those" days.

I thought I might organize some files today but instead I found a gallon of vinegar in my office, so I decided to clean the six coffee pots in the church kitchen. I ran a pot of vinegar through each, then two pot-fulls of plain water. Then I washed all the pots and baskets in the sink. Don't ever let anybody tell you that pastoring a church doesn't involve some majorly fulfilling work.

I also cleaned out the fridge in the pavilion. I brought the remaining pop, water, and juice boxes inside. After we're done using the pavilion this season - probably early October - I think we should bring the fridge inside. I think it will fit in the main hallway under one of the coat rack shelves. We'll have to take the coat rack part down, but we can probably live without one. I think it would help to have a fridge in the hallway by the coffee/cookie table. I could be wrong though.

I also did some sermon prep thinking/planning/reading; threw away some mail; and I finished The Tangible Kingdom. Not really in the mood to talk about it. Probably will one of these days.

My dang ear is still bugging me. I can't believe I may have to go back to the doctor AGAIN. It's been bothering me since Christmas, and it's just a wee bit annoying.

I have a yellow shirt on ...again. I don't really even like yellow. Maybe I don't know what I like. The air is heavy.

Car shopping, and other stuff

Yesterday we finally went car shopping. Nothing to show for it. And, man... do I hate buying cars. I'm just not big into pressure sales and all the "negotiating" stuff. I have a hard enough time just buying shoes.

The first place we went was Kelley, and that had to be the best experience I've ever had with a car salesman. They do it right. Unfortunately they didn't really have anything that tripped our trigger. An '04 Malibu Maxx (that's maybe a bit too old), and an '07 Ford Focus (that's white), but not much else. We will check their online inventory though, because I really liked the salesman. Next we went to the big Toyota/Kia place at the I-69 automall. I was freaking out just driving into the place. But we got a pretty nice salesman who has worked there for 31 years. We test drove an '07 Kia Spectra and an '05 Toyota Corolla. The Spectra was really nice. I also kinda liked the smaller Kia Rio too, but I don't think Jane liked it much. It is really small. She made the mistake of getting in an '07 Nissan Sentra that was pretty cool, but it was a bit too much money. THEN we made the mistake of going to one more place - Dimension Ford - and it was there we encountered the high-pressure sales tactics. We drove an '08 Focus - which wasn't too bad, but it wasn't near as nice as the Spectra - and pretty soon the guy has us in the office crunching numbers, and every time I said "Man, I am NOT buying a car today," and he would come at us with another offer. I think at one point we could have actually had a new '08 Focus for less money than any of the other cars, but we were already bolting for the door trying to catch our breath. I hate stuff like that. So... car shopping ended on a downer. I don't know how in the world people can afford to buy a stinking car anyway. Geesh. It's been a long time since we've had a car payment, and I am not looking forward to it. Does anyone know if Kia's are any good?

OTHER STUFF:

• Glad to see Track & Field has finally started in the Olympics. And did you see that Usain Bolt run the 9.92 in the quarterfinals of the 100 meters? I have never seen anyone do anything like that. He was just jogging at the end. Incredible. I am pumped for the semi's and the finals. The 100 is as much mental as it is physical, so it will be innaresting.
• I'm glad I'm not charismatic. I don't even know who this Bentley guy is that everyone is talking about. I'm sure they are nice people, but a lotta them seem just plain weird to me.
• One thing that I really, really, really don't like is when someone patronizes me.
• I don't know if creating community is just something I'm not cut out for, or if it is downright i-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e. But I don't think you can have church without it. It could be that the demon named "self-centered" is the biggest enemy the church faces.
• I want to end this thing on a positive note, and... I don't know... "c" is probably my most positive note. For some odd reason lately, whenever I am stumped and I just pick up the guitar and set out for never, never land... "c" is where I start. Sometimes it's "e." I don't know where this is going, or why it's positive, but... whatever. Lady Jane bought a new copy of Neil Young's "Live At Massey Hall" (or whatever it is), and I can dig it. Neil is the deal in our household. There - that's positive. I'm almost certain of it. Or something like that.
  

Charge.

Tangibly light and virtuous

It's a lazy Friday morning, and me lovely lady and I both have the day off. We slept in until 8:45 and are getting ready for a bacon and egg breakfast. Yum. Some thoughts while my stomach growls...

Last night we rented Marty Scorsese's Rolling Stones movie Shine A Light. We had been looking forward to the release of this movie in theaters. Unfortunately it never made a theater around here. Now we know why. I really liked the Rolling Stones. And their music was good ... um... 20-30 years ago. :) They should have used more concert footage from then, and less from now. Sorry mates, but Mick just cannot sing anymore. We were actually laughing at the intro to Sympathy For The Devil. Even the dog started barking. But... it wasn't all bad. Glad I watched it, and glad I didn't spend $8.50 to see it in the theater too. One of the best parts was after Keith has just greeted Bill Clinton, he turns around and says to Ron Wood: "Sorry Clinton, but I'm bushed." Hehe... get it, "Bush(ed)." Anyway...

I'm almost done with The Tangible Kingdom too. I have underlined quite a bit in this book, and may blog some of it eventually, but overall... it has been mildly disappointing to me. Not that it I disagree with anything in it - I think they are spot on - but I can't say that I've seen anything new. I also have 'attitudinal' issues with it. But, you know, I'm pretty cynical and jaded, so... whatever. One interesting note: they use the term "sojourners" to describe people. I laughed, because 10-11 years ago when I put together a prospectus for the church I was going to plant I used the same exact word, with the same exact meaning, and people laughed at me and told me it was stupid. Hmm. Maybe they were talking about me.

Well, in an attempt to end on a high note here... son Isaac has a new post "The Virtues of Christian Non-Violent Resistance (a first draft)." He is putting together some "virtues for a Christian non-violent revolutionary community." He's got a great list of 15 and is looking for suggestions or additions. Good stuff. I believe he is in Columbus, Ohio (or somewhere) this weekend for a Jesus Radicals conference (or something).

Well, it's eatin time. There's a revolution a brewin'. Peace out, folks; and in.

Family pics

Nothin' much to say, so here are a couple of family pics from the wedding reception we attended last Saturday. It's not often all four of us are together anymore, so it was nice Carrie had her camera. And in case you are wondering: yes, I did wear a suit and tie while performing the ceremony. But I don't wear them any longer than I have to, and they were gone before I left the church building. Gee, my shirt looks kinda big. It's a 17" neck - so I don't choke myself.

Ever and a day

Yesterday I had a visit from some good friends from our seminary time. They live in Pennsylvania and bought a mobile home and drove across and around the country for 6 weeks. How cool is that? And how cool is it that the church he pastors gave him 8 weeks off this summer?!? Anyway, we had a nice visit. It was neat to see how their family had grown. That last sentence just made me feel really old.

Then I went to get a haircut, and it was going along nicely until... all of a sudden the poor woman is almost in tears telling me about her current "situation." I felt so bad, and totally didn't know what to do. I was trying to decide if I should ask if she wanted me to pray with her when another customer walked in. Then she got even more flustered and it was obvious she didn't want to talk about it anymore. I told her I would be "thinking" about her, and left. That was stupid. Why didn't I just say I would be *praying* for her? I don't know.

I have some other stuff, and people, on my mind too, but I just noticed that blogger seems to be weird. I can't insert pictures or links or anything, and I want to. Oh the horror. Well, maybe later it will work and I just may have to post again today. I've got a lot to do anyway. I haven't started my sermon yet. I usually have a bad week when it's this late and I'm not DONE with it. But it hasn't really been a bad week. It's been a different week. They all seem different anymore. I guess that's because the pages on the calendar keep turning. Why is life so hard to figure out? Probably wouldn't be much point in living if we figured it out. I don't know, maybe it's really easy and I just don't know it.

I had a funny cartoon I was going to put here, but apparently I can't. So... just laugh and pretend you liked it too.

peace.

Bibles, reading, and randomnity

Yesterday I took a couple boxes of Bibles and some other books I had laying around to a place in Fort Wayne called Christian Literature for Africa. Daughter Carrie told me about this place. They have been providing Bibles and reading materials to pastors and churches in Africa for something like 17 years. I was expecting to just drop the books off, but the two wonderful ladies who were working there gave me a rather in-depth tour of their place and had me watching videos and were showing me all kinds of interesting stuff about what they do. It was good fun. So, if you have any old Bibles or Bible Study material laying around, give me a nod and I'll hook you up with a way to unload them while at the same time being a real blessing to someone else.

I also started reading The Tangible Kingdom by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay yesterday (the tangible website is HERE). I've had several people recommend this book to me in recent weeks, so I thought I better give it a look-see. I'm not too far into it yet, and have only underlined a part of one sentence so far... The authors want to help "...create new places of belonging, benevolence, and blessing around the world." Yeah, I like that.

Something I've lately been thinking about though... I wonder if I read too much, or at least too MANY books. And I don't read a lot compared to some, but I wondered if rather than reading a lot of books if I would be better off to read fewer books but to read them more often. You know, I've heard of people who only own four or five books, but they know those books inside out. I wonder if it would be better to be like that. I don't know what four or five books I would choose, but... I dunno. Just wonderin.

Along those lines... I also just sat down and started reading the Bible the other night. I mean, I read the Bible all the time - in little bits and pieces - but seldom do I just start from the beginning. I read about halfway through Genesis in one sitting (which is a lot for me). I think it would do me a whole lotta good to read great big chunks of the Bible at a time. Usually I study small sections. Which is good too. I remember I went like 7 years where I read it through every year. I had one of those read-the-bible-in-a-year bibles where you read a little OT, a little NT, and a Psalm and Proverb every day. That was okay, but I think I'd like to just read it cover to cover sometime. Hmm... maybe one of these days.

I had also been thinking we could get rid of the tv set, because there is nothing but CRAP on anymore. I'm sick of reality shows and game shows and variety shows or whatever they call them. But, now the Olympics are on (and I like the summer Olympics), and then it will be football season... and then college basketball... and... eh, we'll see.

Peace out, folks; and in.

A sign of something?

This is the sign in front of our building. I thought I would see just how long it took for someone to notice the letters were all discombobulated. Well, a week has gone by - including a Sunday morning service - and not one person has mentioned it. I finally went out and fixed it this morning.

Stuff like this drives me nuts. It gives the appearance that no one cares, and I know it shouldn't drive me quite as crazy as it does, but... shouldn't it matter a little? I know some people just don't even notice things like this because of familiarity or whatever, but I've got to think somebody in our church noticed it. What I don't know is if they just don't care, or if they think it's not their place to say anything about it, or do they think it's my job and they wonder why I haven't done anything yet...? I dunno. And I'm not blaming anyone - I just wish I knew how to get people to be a little more concerned, or how to get them to take more 'ownership' or something. Again, I don't know that it's anyone's fault but mine. I'm just thinking out loud.

Actually, the sign needs replaced anyway. And we've been talking about it for at least the last nine years that I know of. The light doesn't work, the letters need to be taped on so they won't fall off, most of the letters are rusted and bent anyway, and a couple weeks ago - when I was retaping some letters on - one side of the glass door fell off and shattered. Oops. So I think we're just going to have some permanent inserts made that will fit inside the brick part with the church name, service time, and web address.

This is certainly a sign of something though. I'm just not sure what.

New mic batteries

I put new batteries in the Sure lapel mic yesterday - 8/10/08. The old ones were still ok, but the last time they were changed was 5/26/08.

Also: moved the keyboard on 8/3/08 from on the main floor up to the raised part between main altar area and drum area (where electric guitar and bass used to be). And changed my mic stand so it comes directly out from under the music stand (instead of from the side). I used a black one instead of a chrome one (black one has shorter base). And put small round table beside me (from the wedding). I like this set-up as long as we're the only ones playing. Monitor sound is really good; and I can finally see all the music without having to move around. Not sure what to do if we get more musicians. I like how there is more room up front - especially if we start doing communion stations on each side.

Homeless briefing

Yesterday I rode around town and asked people if they wanted some underwear. A group from our church goes several times a year and takes things to the homeless. In the summer it is underwear, socks, t-shirts, hats, bandanas, chapstick, shoes, bottled water, and packages containing soap, a washcloth, toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodarent. This was my first time to go along. Five of us packed up a minivan and left around 9 am and got back about 2 pm. We went to the Rescue Mission, Frienemann Square, a government housing project, and several other spots where they thought the homeless might congregate. We just stopped along the street for a couple of people who looked like they needed something. It was weird how when we stopped, pretty soon people just seemed to appear out of nowhere.

Before we started out we sorted and unpackaged everything. We put three pairs of underwear and two pairs of socks in ziplock baggies (and wrote the size on the baggy), and separated all the t-shirts and everything else. I guess you don't want to give something in a package that they can try to return to a store or try to sell. Then we prayed, and ...just drove around.

They told me that when we approach someone to try to say something like, "We have some socks and underwear and stuff and we're looking for people that might need some. Do you happen to know of anyone?" That way it's not like we're insinuating that they look like they're in need. We also talked about not wanting to come off like we were the "nice people" doing something for the "unfortunate" people. I never had any trouble with that, because far too often the people we dealt with were much nicer than I am anyway. Just about every single person was polite, though many were pretty quiet too. One guy even brought back his underwear because he said he didn't really need it - he just needed socks right now.

We needed more smaller sizes of underwear, and larger sized t-shirts. And the soap/washcloth packs went over really well. Everyone also wanted bottled water.

We ran across one guy who was asleep leaning up against a dumpster. Two ladies showed up right when we did. He was obviously drunk, and had a cut on his head, and his speech was pretty slurred. He said he didn't want an ambulance or anything. I thought he was just trying to sleep off a drunk and thought we should leave him alone, but the two ladies called an ambulance anyway, and pretty soon the police were there. We didn't stick around to find out what happened.

I don't really know if it was what I expected or not. I have to say, I've never seen anyone get quite so excited over a new pair of underwear and socks. So I think it is definitely a worthwhile venture. I guess I also discovered there were more homeless people in Fort Wayne than I thought. Most of them looked very normal and I would never have guessed they were homeless, but some were kind of sad. I think, if anything, it maybe made me realize that there's not much difference between them and me. Not much at all. We all have needs. Some are just more obvious than others.

One thing I thought really odd though... I don't know how many packages of underwear people from our church donated - maybe 40 or so - but every single one of them were briefs. Am I the only person in the world who wears boxers?

Peace out; and in.

Sometimes I wonder...

Just some things I've been thinking about:

• Sometimes I wonder if I know anything at all about people. You know, I'll think I know someone pretty good, and then I'll say or do something that completely turns them off... and they're gone. Or they'll say or do something that completely turns me off. I hate it when that happens.
• Sometimes I wonder about the guy who went to the store to get a loaf of bread. For some reason I always remember hearing stories about some guy who said he was going to the store for a loaf of bread... and that was the last anyone ever heard of him. I wonder... did he really buy the bread or not?
• Sometimes I wonder if it might actually be a good thing if someone burned down all the church buildings. You know, it always makes the news in such a big way whenever some angry youth burns a church down. But really, what would happen if suddenly all the church buildings were gone? Wouldn't the church still be around? And it would be a lot more visible I would think. I also wonder why we think we can destroy the church by our actions. I mean, I don't think we could kill it if we tried. It is God's church - you know - the God who created and sustains everything. Sometimes I think we think we're a lot more important than we really are.
• Sometimes I wonder what my dog thinks about all day.
  
• Sometimes I wonder just how long my beard would get if I never shaved. If I had a beard. I usually tire of them real quickly, though I can't stand to shave every day.
  
• Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I wasn't a pastor. Actually, sometimes I wonder if there even is anything else I could do, you know, because I'm incapable. I mean, I can type pretty good, use the computer ok, I know how to make coffee. I suppose maybe I could be a secretary. I don't like talking on the phone though. Darn.
  
• Sometimes I wonder why I have such a poor self-esteem. :/
• Sometimes I wonder who will do my funeral.
• Sometimes I wonder what it's like to not care about anything.
• Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live in a tent. A couple who are perhaps our best friends - and live in Nepal - always talk about how easy life is in the USA. So I wonder.
  
• Sometimes I wonder if we've got things all backwards ...and everyone is afraid to say so. sdrawkcab.
• Sometimes I wonder if I know anything at all.
  

What do you wonder about?

As a random yesterday

Yesterday was kind of a weird sort of day. This will likely be a meandering rollick.

• It started out I loaded up the truck (and moved to Beverly... oh no, that was someone else) with the sound equipment I borrowed from Tom's church and headed to his place. On the way, first the "check oil" light came on; then the "brake" light came on; then the "anti-lock brake" light came on. I decided to live on the edge and just kept going. I made it.
• I meet with Tom and Steve - two fine guys who pastor neighboring churches - each week. We used to meet at the local coffee house for breakfast. Actually, a long time ago Tom and I met with the other pastors who were here at the time at each of our churches on rotating weeks, and we would read Scripture and pray for one another, our churches, and the area we lived in. All the other pastors either left or quit liking us, and so we just did breakfast. But since we've got a new guy who hasn't tired of us yet, we decided to start meeting at one another's churches again and praying together. So yesterday was the first time to do that. It was good. It helps that I really like these two guys (don't let it go to your head Tom).
• On the way home from there I sensed that the brake pedal on the truck was going further to the floor every time I touched it. Sure enough, when I pulled into the driveway I had no brakes. That's why I keep a can of brake fluid in the cup holder, I guess. I should probably get that fixed. Dang, probably not going to be free.
• So... when I walk in the house after being at Tom's church for a little over 2 hours, I see the dog perched precariously on the chair in front of the window. Poor Bogey. When I left he managed to jump up on the footstool and chair and bark at me, but apparently he didn't make it all the way. So when I got home his head and body were in the chair, but his back legs had never made it up there and had slid down between the chair and footstool. He had been pinned like that for over 2 hours! He had the most embarrassed look on his face. I lifted him off, and I'm hoping the chair was wet with drool. He just laid down for a long time. Until I went over to the office and made him get up and walk. He appears to be ok.
• Have you ever noticed at the end of some books it has a place where you can email them and tell them what you think of their book? I've never done that before, but yesterday I did. I about wet my own pants when, like, a half hour later I got this nice, long, really nice email back from the author. It wasn't even from a secretary or anything. It was the real person. I couldn't believe it. I went to Barnes and Noble last night and read something that she told me to read. I'm still pretty floored.
• Also yesterday I got an email out of the blue from the former pope of our denomination. I was very nicely surprised by that too. I know people bad-mouth denominations and denominational people, but this guy is one of the truly nicest people you will ever meet. Someone I greatly admire and respect, and someone who always treated me like his best friend in the world. There's not a lot of people that every time you encounter them you feel better about yourself, but he is one of them. So it was really nice.
• Then I somehow stumbled across a song that I had first heard at the Cornerstone Festival probably 15 or so years ago. Glenn Kaiser and Darrel Mansfield's "Long Way From My Home." If I actually have a set list this song is in it - and even though it's a blues song, my version is probably the most sorrowful of any. I can't sing it without crying. I guess I can't listen to it without it either. I was depressed. The rest of the afternoon was spent thinking about our times at C-stone, and the Jesus People, and the blues, and lots of other stuff. It wasn't all sad - actually quite good memories. I may have to try to locate a used copy of their "Slow Burn" cd. We probably still have the cassette - if it works anymore.
• The night was long; and the day... it was. And is. And is to come.
  

Link love

Now that I'm down to about 3 readers there's probably not much point, but here's a couple links I liked:

• I've pointed to Andrea's poetry before, but I feel the need to again. I don't know who she is, and don't know that she wants to be known, but her writing warms my soul every time I drop in. Her blog is called Sobornost: moments while seeking the path where there is no trail. Really, really good stuff, I think.
• I've just recently started reading Charlie Wear's blog again too. I used to dig into his Next-Wave ezine regularly, but kinda fell away for awhile. Anyway, he brought to my attention that Greg Laurie's son was recently killed in an accident. I always liked Greg, and actually used to have some people from his church in mine. Charlie has a post "Greg Laurie" with a youtube of Greg speaking at his church the Sunday after his son died. It's worth watching. He also has a nice post called "I Love The Sinner's Prayer." Not exactly what you'd expect from Charlie... which is, of course, exactly what you might expect from him. :)
  

Organic god - pt. 2

I finished Margaret Feinberg's The Organic God yesterday. That's about as quick as I've read a book in a while. Probably partly because it wasn't my book so I didn't write in it or underline, but partly because it was just a good read. I think I'm going to buy a copy for my wife.

Two things to note:

From pp. 107-108 -- building up the bride...

Now I'm not naive. I realize the church in America is far from perfect and in many ways has gone astray, but the church is still the bride of Christ. She may have holes in her dress, stains on her shoes, and smeared makeup on her face, but at the end of the day, she is still the bride. When we recognize that God's perspective of the church is not necessarily our own, then we will begin treating her with the respect and care she deserves. We will begin building her up to what she is meant to be instead of tearing her down.

From p. 175 -- the verbs of God...

When I see God's name mentioned in Scripture, I often find a verb somewhere nearby. God is constantly on the move. Though we may not always see him or sense him, he is actively engaged. Consider for a moment a few of the verbs of God.

God answers (Is. 58:9); God bestows (Pr. 8:21); God blesses (Dt. 14:29); God blots (Is. 43:25); God calls (1 Thess. 4:7); God cares (Nahum 1:7); God cleanses (Jer. 33:8); God clothes (Is. 61:10); God comforts (Is. 51:12); God corrects (Job 5:17); God counsels (Ps. 32:8); God covers (Ps. 91:4-6); God cuts off (John 15:1-2); God delights (Zeph. 3:17); God delivers (Ps. 37:40); God detests (Deut. 25:16); God disciplines (Pr. 3:12); God encourages (Ps. 10:17); God fills (Job 8:21); God forgives (1 John 1:9); God gathers (Deut. 30:4); God gives (Matt. 11:28); God guards (Ps. 97:10); God guides (Ps. 73:24); God heals (Hosea 14:4); God hears (Ps. 69:33); God helps (Ps. 37:40); God holds (Ps. 73:23); God increases (Dt. 7:13); God keeps (Dt. 7:9); God knows (Mt. 6:8); God leads (Is. 42:16); God lifts (Ps. 146:8); God listens (Ps. 10:17); God loves (Ps. 37:28); God opens (Dt. 28:12); God pours (Is. 44:3); God preserves (Ps. 41:2); God protects (Ps. 41:2); God provides (Ps. 111:5); God purifies (1 Jn 1:9); God rejoices (Is. 62:5); God remembers (Ps. 111:5); God rescues (Ps. 91:14); God restores (Ps. 71:20); God rewards (Pr. 19:17); God satisfies (Ps. 132:15); God saves (Is. 40:29); God sustains (Ps. 55:22); God teaches (Is. 54:13); God upholds (Ps. 37:24); God watches (Gen. 28:15); God works (Rom. 8:28); God wounds (Job 5:18).

Good stuff.

Organic god - pt. 1

Last night I read about half of Margaret Feinberg's The Organic God (which Jim was nice enough to give loan me). I just heard Margaret speak a couple weeks ago, and some of the stories came from the book. That is largely what it is - stories from her life. And I like that. It's a nice easy read, and I think it's just what I needed right now. If you need to rediscover God again - in a relationship "stripped of all pollutants and additives of this world" - I recommend it.

Here are a few snippets I want to remember from the first part:

• In chapter 3 she talks about a guy who started a church basically by asking people one question (my sum-up): "What do you love about Jesus?" Rather than trying to tell people they *should* love Jesus, or telling people *about* Jesus... he just asked what they love about him. Sounds like a good evangelism strategy to me... because it's not a strategy at all.
• On p. 78 she talks about her dislike of cutesy little phrases. I couldn't agree more. She says, "Phrases like these get under my skin because even if they are fun to read, they don't require reflection. They may contain a 'ha-ha' moment but no real 'aha' moment. True wisdom, on the other hand, might have the ha-ha, but it always delivers the aha." Yep.
• And on p. 85: "But as I practice the art of listening to God, I am discovering that He is surprisingly talkative even in the silence. Prayers are not going unanswered as much as he is responding in unexpected ways. Listening to God's voice requires more than just my ears; it requires my eyes, my mind, my spirit, my entire being to recognize the God-nudges in life."
  

So, let me ask you... What do you love about Jesus? Really, I'd like to know.

Peace out; and in.

"Welcome to my country"

Tom had a link to his brothers blog, and this post "August Banner", which points out that people in this country have been dealing with terrorism since 1492. It's a short read, and pretty innaresting.

Home with rich

I found a book I'd kinda forgotten about: Rich Mullins: Home. It's a collection of articles Rich wrote when he was alive. I think he wrote them for Release magazine between '91-'96, but I'm not sure if it's the same Release as the one still being published. And I see my copy was less than half of what they're charging now.

Anyway... Rich Mullins had a lot to do with shaping my faith. I loved his music, more for the lyrics than the music; and I maybe even admired him just for how he was as much as anything. Simple, humble, a "man of no reputation"... but yet so real.

Just flipping through the pages took me back to so many places I'd long forgotten; so many memories filled with joy and hope and peace. I'm kinda speechless...

I read the first article, from spring 1991. He was talking about how hard it is to try to explain why Jesus is the only true hope for the world. He said it's like telling a joke - and we need to find a better way to tell it. He talked about the frustration of talking with a friend who simply didn't want to believe in Jesus, and there's really no argument left. As Rich said, "Faith is a matter of the will as much as it is of the intellect." You have to want to believe.

He went on to say this:

I am a Christian because I have seen the love of God lived out in the lives of people who know Him. The Word has become flesh and I have encountered God in the people who have manifested (in many "unreasonable" ways) His Presence; a Presence that is more than convincing - it is a Presence that is compelling. I am a Christian, not because someone explained the nuts and bolts of Christianity to me, but because there were people who were willing to BE nuts and bolts, who through their explanation of it, held it together so that I could experience it and be compelled by it to obey. "If I be lifted up," Jesus said, "I will draw all men unto me."

I used to love seeing Rich in concert. Saw him several times. I remember once at Cornerstone watching he and Ashley Cleveland talking backstage... I just stood and stared. I feel like an idiot even saying it, but it was just ..."something."

I've always wished I had a worship leader like him; or better yet - a friend.

As usual this is just a disjointed ramble. I'm sad and hopeful at the same time. Man, I miss Rich. A lot.

Journal entry - ordination

Yesterday I was throwing out some old books, magazines, newspaper clippings and illustrations I've saved over the years, and I ran across my stash of old journals (I didn't pitch any of them). I still keep a written journal - for the stuff I don't necessarily feel like sharing (I know, some of you think that can't be possible). I didn't read through any of them, but one fell open to an entry on 12-13-1999. This is all it said:

This is the day I took my oral examination for Ordination in the Indiana Conference of the Churches of God, General Conference. I went to the Collamer Church of God in Collamer, IN. There were only four members of the MTO there: _____, _____, _____, and one other guy I can't remember. It went fine and I was unanimously approved for life ordination. I have scheduled the service for March 19th, 2000, at Fairview.

So I guess it really must have happened. About the only things I remember from the service were that Dr. Larry White gave the message, and I believe it was the first time son Isaac and I played guitars together... I sang "Take My Life."

Not counting

Yesterday I purposely didn't count how many people attended our worship gathering. Everybody keeps saying how it's wrong... or stupid... or whatever, so I finally decided I would stop. And I didn't used to merely count how many were there, but I have always taken actual attendance. I had a list with everybody's name on it and I used to mark down if they were there every Sunday. If someone new came I would try my best to find out their name and write it down - that helped me learn names. The reason I took attendance was because it not only allowed me to know how many were there, but I could keep track of whether someone was gone, and if someone was gone for several weeks in a row I could surmise perhaps something might be wrong and I would try to find out. I have to admit though, that it was sometimes a problem because there was always a tendency to notice those who *weren't* in attendance more than those who were, and this would bother me from time to time, because I didn't want it to be like you "had" to be there every Sunday. I'd tried to stop before, but it was just something I HAD to do.

I did finally quit having someone do it on the days when I was gone. It seemed no matter who I would ask to do it, they always had a hard time keeping track, so I quit making a list for them. And when I didn't ask anyone specifically - no one bothered to do it. Since I had been gone the previous two weeks and there was no attendance taken, I thought this would be a good time to stop altogether.

Then last night Jane and I were going for a walk and a friend stopped us. While throwing down his cigarette he says, "I'm sorry I haven't been at church for awhile pastor, but my son tried to commit suicide, and I keep having these headaches and getting bloody noses." We talked about that, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking, "Dangit, I didn't even know he hadn't been there the past several weeks. No one took attendance... Or, should I say, *I* didn't TELL anyone to take attendance. And like that wasn't bad enough, one of my church leaders had actually stopped and talked to him earlier in the day - and they apparently didn't feel this was worth letting me know about!

I don't know... I admit, it was nice not taking attendance yesterday. I didn't care how many were there, and I didn't think about who wasn't there. But now I'm wondering if that was a good thing or not.

I am sick and tired of listening to people tell me the right or the wrong way of "doing church." And I'm really sick of people telling me that the church doesn't matter. Because what they're really saying (even though they would never say it) is that people don't matter. And dammit, they do!

I wanna be sedated

To the few regular readers I have I apologize for the lack of posts recently. Nothing much to say about it. Maybe later. I appreciate MR trying to keep conversation afloat, but... you know... sometimes that's just the way it goes.

Anyway... we saw the new Batman movie "The Dark Knight." I wasn't impressed. Not sure what all the hoopla is about. But then, I always liked the tv show.

Had a wedding Saturday. It went well - even though the crazy sound guy (Drew) played the bridal march when the attendants were walking down the aisle (at rehearsal AND the wedding!). It was actually kinda funny, so we'll allow him to stay in the family. :) Wedding time: 25 minutes from lighting of the candles to exit.

Some sad news last week was Bogie boy - who is shown here in his sedated state after getting back from the vet. This is where I laid him after carrying him in from the car, and he didn't move for a couple hours. No, he wasn't much in the mood to listen to the Ramones. He had to have some x-rays taken of his hips and back legs. The doctor thought maybe he had some knee ligament damage or something, but it turns out it's just arthritis. Both his knees are pretty much bone on bone, with not much cartilage left; and what should be smooth surfaces are kinda jagged and cluttered up. He has a hard time getting up anymore, and his back legs go out from under him quite a bit. He's getting good at making it look like he meant to sit down, but he can't do stairs too well, and he has a hard time peeing - as he can't stand on only one hind leg, and he can't lean forward. Sometimes he's resorted to just sitting down when he pees.

We had thought he at least wasn't in much pain, because he never acts like it hurts. But the vet said he's probably just good at hiding it. He said it's probably like having a rock in your shoe, and that's what causes him to fall. So we talked about our options. He was having a surgeon look at the x-rays, but that's probably not doable for a number of reasons. He said we don't need to think about putting him down "just yet" - as long as he's still eating and able to get up. So... I dunno. He already takes more medicine than me, and we're going to start him on fish oil.

Both kids were home this weekend, and he was happy to see them. Drew got him to eat finally, and he was glad to have some of Isaac's clothes thrown on the floor for a spot to lay.