Christmas 2025

The Christmas and New Year's holidays are over, and now we settle in for the long winter suck. Though it is currently a sunny 38F in this little slice o' heaven known as northeast Indiana, USA.

As per usual, if you had any expectations of me posting over the past couple weeks, I have let you down. Such is life. Get used to it.

Still, here is what I can recall from the time:

THE PRESENTS

Since we all know Christmas is about the presents we get... ;). The above pic is my haul.

• Jane and I got each other pajamas, because we're like that now
• Bombas socks are a staple gift around our house every year, for everyone
• Books for me is another given
• The daughter got me a digital picture frame - which I really like!

One other gift that I got for Jane, which is actually for both of us, is this 'We're Not Really Strangers: Couples Edition.' They say it's "For couples looking to deepen their existing connection." I thought it might help create discussion on long trips, or as an alternative to sitting and staring at our phones at night. We've already gone through several of the questions - which come on cards - and I would say it has proven quite nice already. I'm glad I got it!

PRESENCE

I do realize this holiday season is way more about presence than presents, at least in the world I live in. And we were once again fortunate to spend time with family. My mom was here from 12/24-12/30, the son's family from 12/25-12/29. The daughter's family (who live in town) were in and out the entire time too. 

I went and got my mom on the 23rd/24th, and we went to our church's Christmas Eve service at 4:30p, along with the daughter's family. On Christmas Day we always go out to the daughter's house for breakfast and to see what her kids got. Then we drove to Anderson, IN and picked up the son, daughter-in-law, and little Wynn. We all then gathered at our house to open presents in the afternoon, then had the big "Christmas" feast for supper (lasagna - both with and without meat).

We did also remember, and manage to get, this family pic (as well as various other combinations of people).

On Saturday night, the son-in-law's band played a show at a local brewery, so we all went there for supper and baby Wynn's first ever concert. It was fun!

Otherwise, aside from a few shopping trips and occasional walks around the block, we didn't do much but laze around the house and eat. A very nice and relaxing time.

TRAVELS

As mentioned, I drove to pick up my mom, and then Jane and I both took her home. Both trips were just overnight, and traffic was a piece of cake. We returned to FW around 7:30a on both Xmas Eve and NYE, and it was smooth sailing!

The son's family flew from Minnesota to Indy on the weekend before Xmas. They stayed with her family until Xmas Day; then stayed at our house until early Monday 12/29, flying out of FW. It sounds like both flights were excellent and the little traveler seems to be a natural. 

OTHER

Besides all the above, we had our nephew from Colorado and his wife and two kids (teens) stop by and spend the night on New Year's Day. It was a brief visit including supper, and he regaled us with some of his hurdy gurdy playing. 

Well, I'm sure I've forgotten several important details - like having a couple bouts with Afib during the week - but that's about it for the most part. Lots of food, a little bit of fun, and nothing much got broken. A pretty swell time once again...

Five things friday

Can you believe it? We made it to the second-to-last Friday of the year!! And it's the last one before Christmas, so there may or may not be another ftf in 2025 (we'll see how it goes). Anyway... this week is a bit "R" rated (hopefully you'll catch on). Here ya go...

1. REGARDING MENTAL HEALTH AND GOD

I try to read Richard Beck's substack every day - though I admit it's difficult to keep up, because he literally posts one every day (and it's not everyday stuff like I post). It is so good though. And this post on Soteriology and Mental Health hits so many nails on the head for much of what ails many people today. Here's a blurb (and don't be intimidated by the big words... he explains them):

Here’s the basic thesis. Much of our imagination about how God works in our lives has been shaped by soteriology, our beliefs about salvation. That is, when we talk about God’s actions in the world we mostly talk about how God saves us. This creates a habit of mind, an imagination about the shape and nature of God’s actions in our lives. But this imagination, while appropriate for talking about salvation, isn’t always the best for thinking about mental health and well-being. Basically, we import a soteriological imagination into therapeutic contexts where it is ill-suited.

2. RUNNING

The next round of marathon training starts Monday (12/22/25). This is according to my 18-week training plan in preparation for the next Fort Wayne Marathon on April 26, 2026.  

I've been doing between 2-5 miles a day for the last couple weeks, four days a week. Once again I will use a Hal Higdon plan - either Novice 1 or Novice 2. I'm thinking of the latter this year, though it calls for 8 miles next Friday. Gulp.

3. REFLECTION 

I'm not entirely sure where I even stumbled upon this journaling app: Reflection journaling app, but it looks kinda cool to me. I have yet to use it, but I may give it a try. Here are a few blurbs from their website:

• "Journal daily, unpack your thoughts, and improve your mental well-being with an AI coach."
•  "Your private journaling app with real-time guidance and insights to help you flourish."  
• "...more than just a digital diary — it’s a tool for clarity, self-awareness, and personal growth."

4. READING

I finished, 'Something To Do With Paying Attention' by David Foster Wallace, this morning. This was a stand-alone piece from his novel 'The Pale King,' both of which were written before he died, but published after. Amazon says, "It is the story of a young man, a self-described “wastoid,” adrift in the suburban Midwest of the 1970s, whose life is changed forever by an encounter with advanced tax law." So, other than the tax law part, made it interesting to me. It reminded me of 'On The Road' by Jack Kerouac, in that it had no chapters and was basically a very long train-of-thought from beginning to end. I liked it, but, as with most things, I don't know that I would recommend it, because you may not like it. Still, it made for a worthwhile read to occupy my mind for a week.

I don't know if I will start anything else before the end of the year or not. I still have a few on the waiting-to-be-read pile, and am assuming I will get some more for Christmas next week. However, I will also be kinda busy until the end of the year, so... we will see.

5. READ THIS QUOTE (and reflect)

"Grace is not a race to the finish line. It is the patient, renovating work of God over a lifetime, often through people who will not collude with our illusions but also will not abandon us in our shame." - Chuck DeGroat, When Patterns Tell the Truth

Alrighty, I have almost all our Christmas presents wrapped - just need to buy two more small things - and now it's time to finish cleaning the house, plus a 5-mile run. I wish I'd have run yesterday when it was 50F, instead of the 18 with feels like of 0 that it is today. Oh well.

Happy festivus and whatever else you wanna celebrate!

Peace

Five things friday

Well, the calendar says it's Friday, so I suppose I should whip somethin' out. I've been in a bit of a rut this week and just haven't been too motivated. Yet, here are a few things...

1. BUDA

We made it to the old hometown (village) and back last weekend. It was a Thursday to Saturday trip this time. Oddly enough, my mom wasn't even there - though she did return home on Saturday after we'd already left. While Jane was at her brother's house most of the time, I spent my time cleaning at my mom's. Dusting, vacuuming, fixed a couple things, and cleaned up her sidewalks and driveway of snow. I wasn't expecting to work quite so hard, but it was otherwise a pretty good trip.

2. AI NEWS

I saw the following two items on the 12/11/25 Superhuman newsletter. Both seem like really cool things (in spite of being sucked further into AI usage):

1. Oboe raises $16M from a16z to scale its AI learning platform: Oboe’s generalized learning platform transforms any subject into a structured learning experience, complete with custom visuals that break down complex technical concepts into digestible lessons. The startup recently raised $16M to continue developing its platform — try it for free here.

2. Adobe launches free access to photo-editing tools in ChatGPT: Adobe announced that Photoshop, Express, and Acrobat are now free in ChatGPT, allowing anyone to easily edit photos conversationally without leaving their chat. Just type each tool’s name in ChatGPT to get started. Live for web, desktop, and iOS — coming soon to Android. See the new features in action.

3. RUNNING

I started back running this week. I took two weeks off... I can't really remember why now. I guess we were in Minnesota for one, and once I'd decided not to do the trail half marathon, I didn't feel the need. Anyway, this week I've run on M,W,F, and I will tomorrow... just 3-ish miles each day. I also managed to do my weight routine in T & TH. So far I've managed the running all outside. Chilly, and Wednesday it was drizzling rain, but it feels good to run in the cold... at least once I'm done. ;)

4. READING 

I finished reading 'Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing' by Jay Stringer. Wowza. That was a doozie of a book. It took me some places I wasn't expecting, and was much more difficult than I thought it would be. Not that it's a hard read, but... it really threw me for a loop in some ways. That's partly why I've been struggling this week. I will definitely be digging into further resources along those lines. It was a very eye-opening book that probably most everybody should read - whether you think you have sexual brokenness in your life or not (because you likely do).

Yesterday I started 'Something to Do With Paying Attention' by David Foster Wallace. So far, in the first 20 or so pages, he pretty much describes my growing up years (we were born in the same year and lived in the same area). It's crazy...

5. QUOTE

I've needed to read this quote from Henri Nouwen a few times, and likely need to many more...

If we could just be, 
for a few moments each day, 
fully where we are, 
we would indeed discover 
that we are not alone 
and that the One who is with us 
wants only one thing: 
to give us love.

 

Okey doke... 'tis the season for busy stores, bad traffic, and holiday parties. We have one tonight, an Xmas concert to work tomorrow, Jane's work party Monday, and I have one on Tuesday.

Watch out for reindeer...

Five things friday

 Greetings, friend, 

Today’s Five Things Friday comes to you from the cold, quiet, snow-covered village of Buda, Illinois. I lived most of my first 35-ish years of life here, and I’m covered in a blanket while gazing out the window of the house I grew up in. My parents bought it just before I was born, and my mom still lives here (sometimes). It’s very peaceful and calm as I sit here alone, trying to write this post on an iPad (which I am not a fan of). Anyhoo…

1. WHAT DO YOU HOPE

I was thinking this morning about the difference between hoping and wanting. This time of year you hear people asking, “What do you want (for Christmas)?” What if, instead, we asked “What do you hope for in this Advent season?” The pondering of it feels different to me…

2. STILLNESS, NOT INACTIVITY

It’s a busy time of year, right? Perhaps now more than ever many of us could use a little stillness (calm) in our lives. Yet, it’s not always seen as very… productive. I think that’s a problem in our world. What if we were more intentional about adding active stillness into our daily routines… as a means to rest, to contemplate, to wonder, dream, and… hope? …

3. ARE YOU HAPPY

When is the last time you asked someone else that question? In our self-care attuned world, perhaps it’s more common to consider Am I Happy? What if we looked across the aisle at the people we care about most… swallowed hard, and asked if they’re happy? I know… it’s a risky question. But… is it important to you? Are they important to you?

4. OTROVERTS

Do you know what an Otrovert is? I didn't either... but I think maybe I am one!

This is an interesting little article explaining the nuances between Extrovert, Introvert, Ambivert, and Otrovert - What is an Otrovert and I My Child One?

Here's how they explain an Otrovert:

...the term otrovert indicates that the person doesn't feel a sense of belonging in either social setting (solo or group) and often feels that they are on the outside—think of the Spanish word otro or other. 

“It isn't necessarily an indicator that they don't have social skills or can't fit in, as they often do have high empathy," explains Moorehead. "Their need for authenticity and to avoid being forced into a box or a role or a norm is what can lead them to feel that they are outsiders."

 I don’t know… I guess I often feel like an outsider whether alone or in a group. It was a new word for me (I think, unless I just forgot). 

5. A QUOTE

“Love isn’t saying, I love you, but calling to say, did you eat?” - Marlon James (I love this quote, not specifically about the eating, but that love carries with it practical concern… and it’s often a question more than a statement).

 

Okay, well, I need to get to cleaning my mom’s house, shoveling snow, and… re-reading what I wrote above (because this iPad is so hard for me to get used to. Why? Why can I not get the hang of this thing? Grrr. 

Enjoy your day. Don’t be afraid…

The tears of things - pt. 7 (final)

 Hey, I think we're going to do it! It's the last of my summarizing of Richard Rohr's grand book 'The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage.' 

I will follow the same format here by providing a summary of chapters 9 & 10, and then the points I highlighted within them.

ChatGPT summary:

In chapters 9 and 10 of The Tears of Things, Richard Rohr continues to explore how suffering and loss are integral to spiritual growth. He discusses the transformative power of embracing the shadow side of life, including the personal and collective wounds that shape us. Rohr suggests that through these experiences, we learn to see the world and ourselves with greater depth and compassion. In the final chapter, he ties everything together by emphasizing the importance of surrender and acceptance. True spiritual freedom, he writes, comes when we stop fighting against life’s challenges and learn to live fully in the present moment. Rohr’s conclusion encourages readers to let go of their attachments to success, control, and certainty, and instead embrace the unknown with trust in God’s presence within all things.

Chapter 9 highlights (Ezekiel: Redemption and the Grace of God) --

Ope... I guess I didn't actually highlight anything in this chapter...

Chapter 10 highlights (It All Comes Down to Love) --

*****p. 142-143 - "The early English Franciscan brother William of Ockham (1287-1347) had an overriding principle that is still taught in philosophy classes, and is somewhat humorously called 'Occam's razor' (using the Latin spelling of his name). As he put it, 'The answer that demands the fewest assumptions is likely the correct one.' If his students wanted to discover the truth of something, he encouraged them to 'shave' away as many assumptions, beliefs, or complicating explanations as possible. Great truth might well be mysterious, Ockham believed, but it is never complex. The better answer is almost always the simpler one was his conclusion. ...  What I have tried to say in this book is that prophets are those who simplify all questions of justice, reward, and punishment by a simple appeal to divine love. God's infinite, self-giving care is the only needed assumption, cause, factor, or possible variable in the drama of creation. All else must be 'shaved' away as creating needless and useless complexity -- which only confuses the soul and the mind. ... This is the nature of mature, mystical religion -- simple and clear."

*****p. 145 - "I have met too many saintly people in a confessional context whose holiness is the result of years of struggle with their darkness and their ego, which they could never completely overcome. In fact, such folks are the quite obvious norm! Our job, like that of the prophets, is to guide their struggle toward love, not to deliver them altogether from struggle."

p. 146 - "Divine light does not inflate us with the pride of "I know," but illuminates those around us with the gratitude of "I am, too" -- a kind of joining "everyone in the house." Both light and love reveal not our separate superiority, but rather our radical sameness. That quality is, in fact, the way you can tell divine light from human glaring."

**p. 147 - "The last veil to fall is when you see your own negative projections - not only your participation in the collective but also the hurts you've transmitted to others and yourself - and just want to weep. This is the universal solidarity and sympathy that I believe characterizes mystical and prophetic Christianity."

p. 149 - "Mature religion and good prophets make sure that this growth happens. They liberate us to be like God, who is love (1 John 4:8), and reveal that God is not like us, which is the purified message of almost every prophet." 

p. 154 - "Please remember that certainty - not doubt - is the opposite of faith."

p. 155 - "...we haven't understood or appreciated the prophet's unique job description in Israel: 'licensed,' internal, faithful critic of one's own people and leaders. The prophets were radical traditionalists whose conservatism ironically made them into tearful and empathetic 'progressives' by contemporary standards."

 

Yeah, that last chapter... whew... it's a doozy. So good.

This is, honestly, one of those books that I have a hard time just saying, "Oh, yeah, it's a great book. It's about ______ whatever, and everyone should read it." I don't know if it's good or not... nor if everyone should read it. But I liked it. A lot. Sure, there were a few dry sections, but there was also so much goodness. It was almost like, some chapters had too much good. I simply wanted to underline everything, and it took so long to read through them...

So, this ends my look back through The Tears of Things. I'm really glad I read it.

(tears of things - pt. 6)

I'm going to get through this book eventually...

Here is a brief synopsis and my highlights from chapters 7 & 8 of Richard Rohr's 'The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage.' 

ChatGPT summary:

In chapters 7 and 8 of The Tears of Things, Richard Rohr explores the idea that suffering and loss are essential parts of life, not to be avoided but embraced as opportunities for growth. He discusses how our society often tries to shield itself from pain, but true transformation happens when we accept our wounds. Rohr highlights how God works through these difficult moments, showing us the deeper truths of life, including the importance of compassion and humility. He encourages readers to see the "tears of things" as a sign of the beauty and meaning that can come from life's struggles, rather than something to fear or reject. These chapters remind us that growth often comes from facing the hardest parts of our journey. (chatgpt)

Chapter 7 highlights (The Alchemy of Tears: How We Learn Universal Sympathy and Grace) --

p. 96 - "Are we the only animal that cries and sheds tears as an emotional response? It seems so, but what function do they serve for us? Jesus says we should be happy if we can weep, but why? Tears seem to appear in situations of sadness, happiness, awe, and fear -- and usually come unbidden. What is their free message to us and to those who observe them? Has humanity gotten the message yet?... There is only one book in the bible named after an emotion: the book of Lamentations. (from the first two paragraphs of ch.7)

p.98 - "Has God changed, or have we just grown up enough to hear a grown-up God?"

p. 98 - "Tears reveal the depths at which and from which we care."

p. 99 - "Life is inherently sad, the prophets want us to know. Humanity is foundationally unfaithful to love and truth, they seem to shout." 

p. 99 - "Tears invite participation in a wider world and pull us out of our isolation."

p. 101 - "We all need to feel and know, at this cellular level, that we are not the first ones who have suffered, nor will we be the last. Instead, we are in one universal parade - God's 'triumphal procession,' as Paul calls it (2 Cor. 2:14)..."

p. 103 - "You don't think yourself into crying. You cry yourself, if you will allow, into daring new ways of thinking and feeling."

***p. 103 - "All things first and finally deserve tears much more than hatred, fixing, or denial." 

***p. 109-110 - "Don't believe those who tell you that you can grow while staying in full control. It is a lie. In all of our lives, deeper love has to do with giving up some measure of control... ...you must die before you die... ...Giving up control assumes there is someone to give up control to - someone I can trust to do an even better job."

p. 111ff - "Alchemy: The Process of Whole-Making" "These seven stages of alchemy are all spontaneous inner reactions to outer or conflicting events"..

p. 113 - "I began this book by saying that I saw in the prophets a slow but real movement from extended rage and anger (where many of us tire of them), through different forms of holy disorder, to tears and sadness, and then morphing into compassion as their mature response to evil and injustice."

*p. 115 - "You must cooperate with grace."

Chapter 8 (The Three Isaiahs: The Heart of Prophecy) --

p. 117 - "What has come to be known as the 'III Isaiah theory' provides a perfect example of how knowing the historical context is necessary to understanding the text. Such a view of Scripture helps us realize that real people in real contexts wrote the Bible; it did not fall out of thin air onto an inspired page. When we take Scripture literally and uncritically, with a bit of study, we can make it say whatever we want, even if it is the justification of war, slavery, fabulous private wealth, gun culture, polygamy, or genocide - all of which has been done without shame by people who read the Bible literally...

p. 117 - "Using what is known as the 'historical-critical method' of biblical interpretation gives us much more honesty and accountability in our interpretations..." 

***p. 119 - "Divine perfection is precisely the ability to include imperfection! God forgives by including the mistake and letting go of the need to punish it. We can do the same." ... "Forgiveness is not denial, but 'yes and': Yes, you did wrong, and I forgive you."

p. 123 - "...the language of redemptive suffering instead of the universally admired language of redemptive violence."

p. 124 - "...the rejected and silenced ones always expose what the culture actually idealizes."

I'd forgotten how much good stuff there was in these two chapters. Which is a reminder to myself why I should do this with every good book I read. ;)

Perhaps instead of wishing one another a "good day"... we should be wishing one another more "tear-filled days"? Or, simply, "Have a good one!" :)

Thanksgiving in minnesota (the worst drive)

Who would have guessed Minnesota would be the least wintry place we would be over the Thanksgiving holiday?

The Mrs and I ventured north a week ago today (11/25/25) to spend some time with the boy and his family (we were also joined Thanksgiving day by my sister and our daughter-in-law's mother). It was a nice time in St. Paul, and we were fairly cozy in their little house of three.

The drive there Tuesday wasn't terrible. The worst part is always getting through Chicago. It was foggy, misty, and rainy the first couple hours, but actually cleared up a big as we hit the city. Traffic did slow a few times along I-90, but never once came to a standstill. The rain picked up again a couple hours south of the Twin Cities, and got a bit heavy an hour away. Fortunately it calmed down as we rolled into St. Paul around 4:30pm. Total time was right about 8 hours, 45 minutes (just like google said).

We didn't really do much while there. Wynn is just about to start walking, and plenty mobile. He is also talking quite a bit. We were happy to hear something resembling "Grandma" and "Grandpa" soon after arriving. So we played with him, read books, took a couple walks, ordered takeout food and lived off that and leftovers.

It snowed a few inches on top of the rain Tuesday night into Wednesday morning, so Wednesday we needed to buy a snow shovel and ice scraper for our hosts.

Thursday (Thanksgiving day) my sister arrived around 1:30, and Ricci's mom shortly after. R's mom made the turkey (our hosts are vegetarian). It was also her birthday, so we sang happy birthday when we had pie. The meal was devoured around 2:30 or so, then it was time for football. My sister left shortly after eating, and the rest of the day was spend lounging and snacking.

Friday we ventured out to a market at the Palace Theatre in downtown St. Paul, as well as the Minnesota Children's Museum, where Wynn got soaking wet and had to wear grandpa's t-shirt home. They were both very cool places, and only a mere 2 miles down 7th Street from their house. 

Saturday, then, is where everything went sideways, upside down, inside out, and every other type descriptor no one wants to use in winter weather...

We left St. Paul just before 7am, while it was still dark and snow had just begun to fall. The Minnesota-Wisconsin border is only about 20 minutes south, and snow had picked up, but still wasn't bad. It was maybe around Madison, WI when I began to think about the fact we might not make it home on this day. We discussed veering to my mom's house in north-central Illinois, but soon discovered a stretch of road we would have taken was already shut down due to snow. In Rockford, Illinois I considered getting a hotel for the night, but we decided to trudge on toward Chicago. At the northern-most toll plaza/rest area, we stopped to get something to eat, and traffic had been crawling at around 45 mph for miles. We went most of the rest of the way through the city around 30 mph - but at least we never came to a standstill. I almost wished we had a few times, because ice was freezing on the windshield and neither of us could see to well (see pic above). By the time we got through Chicago and to our exit at Chesterton, IN we were seriously considering getting a hotel there. It was getting dark, but I thought we would see if the snow let up any as we made the 10-mile jaunt down to route 30. It only continued to get worse, and the roads, as well as our vision, deteriorated with every slowly passing mile. This is when I kicked myself for not having already stopped for the day. I was also getting more and more worried not only about not making it home, but not even making it to a hotel. Somehow - likely by the grace of God - we made it to Warsaw, IN. A mere 43 miles from our house, but I could no longer see straight, and that section of route 30 was closed. So we stopped at Meijer and got some wine and cheese, and found a room at the Tru by Hilton Hotel. Probably the best $100 I've spent in a while.

All told, Saturday's 564-mile trip that should have taken just under 9 hours, took just over 12 to get even that close to home. Had we not stopped, it would have been at least 14 hours all the way. The most miserable winter weather I can ever remember driving in. I stopped counting cars and semis in the ditch at a dozen, and there were probably that many more. I'm hoping to recover from the trauma at some point, because it is much too early in the winter to already be afraid to drive anywhere...

In spite of that, though, it WAS a nice trip. We have much to be thankful for. So, here's a couple pics to remember the good part.

The last mow (again/maybe)

I thought I recorded the last mowing on November 10th. However, I’ve mowed twice again since then. 

I thought I was simply grinding and bagging the leaves with the mower, but I’ll be darned if the grass wasn’t still growing. 

So, this past Sunday, November 23rd, I mowed one last time (hopefully). It looked nice and clean. Now if the city will come and get the leaves before the snow covers them, all should be well with the lawn for the winter. 

The end.

Five things friday

Hey,

Sorry about skipping another ftf last week (and maybe the week before, I can't remember). Anyway, here are a few things I've had laying around and I'm gonna try to squeeze them in. I got my run in this morning (6.5 mi), have an early lunch meeting, reading, house cleaning, basketball game to attend, date night... all the stuff. So, here's some... things:

1. PORN STARS FOR JESUS

I still read relevant magazine posts now and then (though not as much as when Tyler H was running it). I don't know that this article about former adult actress Jenna Jameson getting baptized is super in-depth, but I read it. My first thought was, honestly, why does this stuff surprise us? I would think there are a lot of people in that industry who would love to be loved. And I mean *really* loved... not just lusted after. Anyway, good for her! 

2. WHAT EXACTLY DOES GRACE MEAN 

Did you hear about this? Tiny Grace College (which is not far from where we live, in Winona Lake, IN), set the college basketball scoring record for most points. Their women's team won a game 172-91. Apparently they practice that full court press the entire game system. The winning coach was asked about possibly running up the score... He says, "But they scored 91!" Ha. So I guess 81 points wasn't a large enough lead. Maybe they should look into a new name...

3. LIVING AND DYING

This week marked the 5th anniversary of my dad's death (Nov. 18th). I was going to write a post about it, but realized I didn't have that much to say. Other than... I recall saying not long after he died that I hated him. I have since realized that's not really true. I was angry with my dad... for not really being the type of father I wanted him to be. We never once had a "normal" conversation, and I resented that. But, I've come to accept that he was a flawed and sinful person just like me. I am not the type of father/grandfather I want to be either. Such is life, I guess.

4. WHAT I'M READING

The book I am currently reading is 'Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing,' by Jay Stringer. I got this from our church as part of our mental health initiative, but didn't realize just how personally helpful it would be. It's an excellent book (connected to the Allender Center), and I would recommend it to anyone - whether you think you have sexual brokenness in your life or not (because you might be surprised)!

5. A QUOTE

"The transformative journey of the prophets from anger to tears to compassion is the journey of the God of the Bible and those who read the Bible with love." - Richard Rohr (Yes, I realize I shared this yesterday... but I feel like it's worth saying again)

It's Friday, my friend. Give yourself a break today. And someone else too. We all need it... and love.

Peace

Finished vs. unfinished prophets (tears of things - pt. 5)

Today we move into chapters 5 & 6 of Richard Rohr's fantastic book, 'The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage.' Here is a brief summary of the two chapters:

In Chapter 5, Jeremiah: The Patterns That Carry Us Across, Rohr draws on the prophet Jeremiah to show how genuine prophecy involves three stages — order, disorder, and reorder — that mirror a spiritual maturation from righteous anger, through lament, into a kind of hope-filled surrender. Jeremiah, the so-called “reluctant prophet,” challenges his community’s shallow religiosity and violence, yet ultimately models a covenant of unconditional love rooted in grief and fierce longing. In Chapter 6, Unfinished Prophets: Elijah, Jonah, and John the Baptizer, Rohr reflects on three biblical figures who remain “unfinished” — they stay stuck in anger, blame, or dualistic thinking, never fully moving into the deeper compassion and grace that a mature prophet embodies. Through their unfinishedness, Rohr warns against moralism without transformation and invites us toward a prophetic maturity shaped by vulnerability, humility, and a relinquishing of ego.

Here are some of my highlighted (underlined) parts:

p. 64 - "Here we see the emerging pattern that God's people are invariably rescued by those on the edges themselves..."

**p. 65 - "I used to say 'I will not think about God anymore, I will not speak in his name anymore,' Then there seemed to be a fire burning in my heart. I am weary with holding it in and I could not bear it." (Jeremiah 20:7-9)

p. 69-70 - "So many religious people could be called 'defenders of the metaphors'! They love the bread or the water, but do not go where they point: to the inherent scrality of quite ordinary things."

p. 70 - "Authentic Christianity must be an utter commitment to reality, as opposed to ritual, or it is not a commitment to God." ... "The question is whether the ritual is pointing to the good, the true, and the beautiful, or pointing to the drama."

p. 73 - "Constant success does not teach you much that is helpful in terms of the less visible world."

Chapter 6 --

p. 81 - "My major thesis in this book is that most prophets invariably start with legitimate but righteously dualistic anger at the sins and injustice in the world. AS they pursue their calling to teach what they think is God's truth, they confront confusion, denial, doubt, love, and most especially epiphany. Maturing prophets let these experiences change them, allowing themselves to evolve into non-dual and compassionate truth-tellers.... What I call 'unfinished prophets' don't evolve and mature but persist in anger, blaming, and accusations. They remain moralistic and judgmental, but without the non-dual mysticism that characterizes a major prophet..."

p. 85 - "Their job is to speak the truth and let go of the consequences of any need for an ideal response. Even if no one listens, they do not lose heart. That is a major indicator of the purity of their message."

**p. 94 - "The transformative journey of the prophets from anger to tears to compassion is the journey of the God of the Bible and those who read the Bible with love."

--

And... there you have it. 

Critical mass & holy disorder (tears of things - pt. 4)

If I'm ever going to get through Richard Rohr's 'The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage,' I suppose I need to condense and combine.

Here is a summary of chapters 3 & 4:

In Chapter 3 of The Tears of Things, Rohr reflects on the biblical concept of the remnant — the small, faithful minority through which God brings transformation. He argues that real change often starts at society’s edges rather than from the center; this “critical mass” isn’t about power but witness, and it resists scapegoating by taking responsibility for collective ills. Rohr draws especially on the prophet Hosea, suggesting that divine love is adult and committed, even when our fidelity is broken. In Chapter 4, titled “Welcoming Holy Disorder,” Rohr introduces a spiritual pattern of order → disorder → reorder and argues that prophets don’t just condemn, they provoke a necessary upheaval. He outlines ten qualities of a true prophet — such as courage, humility, and compassion — showing that prophetic work isn’t motivated by status or reward but by love.

Below are some of the underlined sections from my reading...

p. 29-30 - "I am not sure how explicitly the prophets understood this seeming divine strategy, but they certainly learned to work inside of littleness, failure, and rejection from a nonresponsive audience."

p. 30 - "Power distorts truth, so God plants and develops it at the edge, where the power-hungry least expect it. The truth will always be too much for everybody, but God seems content with a few getting the point in each era." 

p. 32 - "This revelation of the remnant is the clear opposite of our notion of majority rule, authority rule, Christendom, or even 'one person, one vote.' In a very clear way, it presents an utterly counterintuitive theme that a humble minority is always the critical stand-in for God's big truth -- and the group through which God is working change."

p. 33 - "The critical mass in biblical theology is always the small, 'edgy' group that carries history forward almost in spite of the whole. Think of Noah and his family in the ark; the youngest and forgotten son David becoming king; the barren wives Sarah and Elizabeth, each giving birth to a special child late in life; the twelve outlier fishermen being called as Jesus's disciples instead of anybody from the capital city temple team."

p. 41 - "A minority within a minority, they taught the refined and actual message of love of God and neighbor as one, which is full religious transformation."

Chapter 4 -

p. 46-47 - "I founded the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC)... in 1987 because of the growing sense that we needed to educate people to the truth-tellers who are inside and effective critics of religious institutions, without becoming negative or cynical themselves - a loyal opposition, as we call it today."

p. 52 - "A major assertion in this whole book is that they (prophets) were angry, even depressed, before they were sad and enlightened. Remember when Paul said that 'prophesying [can be] imperfect' (1 Cor. 13:9) and still be prophecy? Good news indeed."

p. 53 - "I think a prophet's reward - as well as the reward for those who receive a prophet - is precisely nothing, except the telling of the message itself. When you want and need something extra, like fame, money, or notoriety, the truth is already lost." ... "Jesus is forever purifying his messengers by pulling them outside of the usual reward systems."

p. 56 - "Look for humility, love, and detachment in the speaker. If those elements are not present, be careful and rightly doubtful. A prophet does not need to push the river of her ideas too feverishly, because she knows the source of the river is beyond her."

p. 56 - "Prophets must have asked themselves, many times, How do I know this is not just my idea? They have learned to be their own devil's advocate."  

p. 56-57 - Great section on the need for humility, simplicity, and a vow of poverty (to guard against corruption).

p. 59 - Remember, every time God forgives sin, he is saying that relationship matters more than his own rules. Think about that. Forgiveness honors disorder while still naming it disorder." 

p. 61 - "When criticism is not tolerated or encouraged, the proud, deceitful, and power hungry will invariably win out. Every institution needs designated, positive, and affirmed whistleblowers, or the shadow always takes over and the problem is never included in the resolution."

 

Okay... that's a lot. Happy chewing... :)

The receiving end of capitalism's damages (tears of things - pt.3)

Today I'm posting a few morsels from chapter 2 of Richard Rohr's book The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage. This was a really good chapter, focusing specifically on the Old Testament prophet Amos, among others.

The best way to sum up this chapter is from this bit on pp.22-23:

...If we do not recognize that evil first and foundationaly resides in the group, we will continue to search out, condemn, or perhaps forgive the "few bad apples," thinking that will take care of our problems. But too often, sins we condemn in the individual are admired, or at least given a cultural pass, at the corporate level. Consider some of the contradictions in our own culture, for example:

• Killing is wrong, but war is good.
• Greed is wrong, but luxury and capitalism are ideals to be sought after.
• Pride is bad, but nationalism and patriotism are admirable (never in the Bible, however).
• Lust is wrong, but flirting and seduction are attractive.
• Envy is a capital sin, but advertising is our way of life.
• Anger at our neighbor is wrong, but angry people get their way.
• Slot is a sin, but wealthy people can take it easy.
• Murder is wrong, but easy access to guns is a right and duty.

 ...The view from the bottom helps us escape this human tendency. I have learned from a lifetime as a preacher that even a slight critique of capitalism is totally unacceptable in American pulpits. It can be intuitively and freely understood, however, in the barrios of Guatemala, or the lower-middle-class Mexican American parish where I preached regularly until Covid, because their viewpoint is from the receiving end of capitalism's damages...

Continuing onto p. 24 -- 

"The church has been trying for centuries to save individuals while ignoring the corrupt system in which those individuals operate."

"My point here is that the prophets approached evil from an entirely different perspective"

**"The prophets, far ahead of their time, learned that it is social sin that destroys civilization and humanity: global warming, war, idealization of immense wealth, celebrity worship, the pursuit of fame and fortune, immense and growing income inequality, a denial of common truth, and on and on."**

"Jesus, you can see when you read the Gospels, is not much concerned about sexual issues, for example, except as matters of justice and honest."

 P. 27 - "Radical unity with God and neighbor is the only way any of us truly heals or improves."

 

Whew... that's some stuff there, is it not? I don't even know what more I can say. It sort of leaves one... humbled.

Monday meander

Oof. Yep, I missed another Five Things Friday. Sorry about that. I don't really even have an excuse. It just didn't happen.

So, here is a sort of substitute. Some stuff...

• Most of our evening activities now include basketball games. Either the granddaughter's JV high school team, or our grandson's who both play on the middle school "varsity" team, even though they are in 6th and 7th grade (usually the MS varsity is 8th graders, but they don't have any 8th graders that play). They are both fun to watch.
• Last week we did work the concession stand with our daughter for a varsity high school girls game. The wife and daughter worked the pretzel maker, and I was the drink runner for the counter people. It wasn't bad.
• I did my usual setup of the concert hall last Thursday, with one added twist: We had to set up the dance floor for the show on Saturday night. Ugh. I hate the dance floor. It comes in 4'x4' squares that lock together. It ended up at 16'x24' (I think). It's old, and some of the plastic "locking" features don't work so well anymore. It's a bit of a job for two people (me and a guy named Mark set up for most of the shows). Normally they charge an extra $450 to set it up - which we don't make any money off of ourselves - but it was for a local band and they didn't charge. I did get two free tacos for my trouble (which is not worth it).
• The show on Saturday night was actually pretty fun. I did my usual bartending gig, and made a decent amount in tips ($45 in cash; I'm still waiting on credit card tip money). A local band with a good following which includes a lot of younger people. They play very high energy music with a heavy latin sound (think Carlos Santana), and they had a 7-piece band on this night. Fun time.
• What was an even better time this past weekend was the Story Workshop led by Adam Young, of the Allender Center. It was held by/at our church on Friday night and Saturday. Adam led us through a series of talks, discussion, and journal prompts designed to provoke curiosity, prayer, and discovery around our personal stories. He was excellent, and it was a really good workshop. I will likely share more about it in a separate post one of these days. For now, here's a blip off the Allender Center site as to what it's about:
  

  Story is the heartbeat of God, the primary form for revealing who we are, who God is, how the world is broken, and how God intends to restore us and the world. We believe, too, that no one escapes harm over the course of their lifetime. Therefore we all have stories that need healing and restoration. Unfortunately, there are very few contexts in which the full extent of harm and heartache in the human experience can be explored in a way that brings healing. Many therapists are not equipped to address the narrative dimensions at the heart of human brokenness, and many churches and communities avoid the conversations out of fear, discomfort, or lack of training. So we live in a world of silos where narrative therapy, inner healing, and spiritual warfare are seldom integrated for the hope for restoration.

  Our purpose is to step into this gap to offer story exploration experiences and to train more leaders to address harm and tragedy with informed care and holistic engagement, identifying the emotional, spiritual, and relational impacts of our core stories of neglect, loss, betrayal, or outright abuse and violence. And in this process, something truly transformative happens: we find the hope of redemption. Courageously stepping into stories of pain and harm is the very place that true healing and restoration occurs.

   

So, that's what's been happening lately... besides reading, running, cleaning the house, and leaf raking/mowing. Hopefully I will put up some more posts this week. 

Have a good one!

The tears of things: why tears? (ch. 1)

Today I will resume my thoughts from Richard Rohr's marvelous book The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage. I felt chapter 1 was the best of the book, as it laid the framework as well as gave an explanation for the title. Here's an Ai summary of the chapter:

In the opening chapter, Rohr sets out his foundational theme: that suffering, lament, and deep vulnerability are central to both spiritual maturity and prophetic living. He introduces his three-stage pattern of growth—“order” (a safe dualistic religion of reward/punishment), “disorder” (crisis, confusion, the breakdown of old certainties), and “reorder” (a non-dual, mature way of seeing everything in relation—what he calls the way of the prophet). He argues that the prophets of the Hebrew Bible typify this journey, and invites us to understand that tears—the recognition of tragedy, suffering, and the brokenness of things (“the tears of things”)—are not failure but gateways into a deeper awareness of reality and compassion. The chapter establishes that true prophetic wisdom is not simply moral indignation but a tender, sorrow-filled participation in the world’s pain with the aim of transforming toward love and wholeness.

Here are some of my highlighted parts:

p. 3 - "In the first book of Virgil's Aenid (line 462), the hero Aeneas gazes at a mural that depicts a battle of the Trojan War and the deaths of his friends and countrymen. He is so moved with sorrow at the tragedy of it all that he speaks of "the tears of things." As Seamus Heaney translates it, "There are tears at the heart of things" -- at the heart of our human experience. Only tears can move both Aeneas and us beyond our deserved and paralyzing anger at evil, death, and injustice without losing the deep legitimacy of that anger."

p. 4 - "It is hard to be on the attack when you are weeping." 

p. 6 - "Collective greed is killing America today." "Somehow the prophets knew, the soul must weep to be a soul at all."

p. 11 - "All of us, prophets included, usually must do it wrong, or partly wrong, many times before we can do it right."

p. 12 - Habakkuk's 'Great Nevertheless' (one of my favorite passages in the bible, Hab. 3:17-18) 

 "If you quote or follow the prophets in their immature stages, you might end up eating your children (Jer. 19:9), firebombing the temple, and meeting a God who is mainly known for his wrath, vanity, divisiveness, pettiness, and petulance (Ez. 13)." 

"Only the whole narrative of any book of the Bible really deserves to be called inspired."

 p. 14 - "We have created generations of good people who use the red and yellow verses as if they were inspired, mature statements. But if you read them closely, you will begin to see a pattern I have long taught about the way we progress as human beings: from order into what seems to be disorder, and finally reaching some kind of reorder." 

Yes, what I liked about this chapter was the emphasis that you can't really just pick some verses from the prophets and say "See, this is what they're like"... or even, "This is what God is like." The prophets, like all of us, were works in progress. They thought different things at different points in their journey. As my old theology professor (RIP, Dr. C) used to say, "Write your beliefs in pencil, because they may change over time."

Anyway, this was a good chapter, imho.

God as grandfather

Have you checked out the First Nations Version of the New Testament yet? You should. I love it!

As they describe on their website:

The FNV is a dynamic equivalence translation that captures the simplicity, clarity, and beauty of Native storytellers in English, while remaining faithful to the original language of the New Testament. Whether you are Native or not, you will experience the Scriptures in a fresh and new way.

Now they have released the First Nations Version of Psalms and Proverbs... and I love it even more!

It makes me want to be a better person...

Richard Beck shares in THIS POST (it's short, read it) how they came to designate the Hebrew word for God as... 'Grandfather.' I'm not sure where he got this quote, but it explains it:

For the FNV Psalms and Proverbs, we followed the Jewish tradition of replacing YHWH with another name. We considered a First Nations name that would be meaningful, honoring, intimate, and intertribal. We needed a unique name we had not used in the New Testament since the New Testament Greek does not translate the name for YHWH.

The title Grandfather was proposed...This title carries the relational weight of the name. This name meets the criteria of intertribal and is often used at powwows and other First Nations gatherings. In all Native cultures, grandfathers and grandmothers are highly honored. Grandfather is a name of honor, dignity, intimacy, and loving authority.

Fathers and grandfathers are not generally depicted as honorable figures in most white American culture (think TV sitcoms where we're the doofus and butt of jokes). And, in some cases, rightfully so. It's not just the depictors fault, but sometimes the fault of us dads and grandfathers.

Wouldn't it be great if we could live up to the honor, dignity, intimacy, and loving authority of Native cultures though? I'd like to give it a try, at least...