Reading through old sermons

I spent some time on this slow Tuesday afternoon looking through some of my old sermons. I have a file box with my paper copies from 2008-2013. I've been driving around with them in my car for awhile thinking someday I might have a chance to sift through them. I would like to have a few on hand just in case I might need one on short notice. I've honestly had plenty of chances to look through them. It ended up being worse than I thought.

I noticed three things about this period of sermons:

1. It was pretty easy to tell what books I was reading at the time they were written. Lots of quotes and sometimes I just flat out said this is what I'm reading right now. The books were heavily reflected.

2. Rick Warrens influence over my preaching ran deep. The Purpose Driven Church came out when I was in seminary. I also took an online preaching class of his. I have a lot of "How To" sermon titles. He was big on preaching toward what people should do. I wish I'd had better influences. Or different.

3. The biggest thing I came away with this afternoon though is simply how terrible a lot of my sermons were. Ugh. They were especially bad that last year. It's obvious I'd lost my sense of creativity. The further back I went they were a little better, but I'd say I thought I was a way better preacher than I really was.

Anyway, I did find a few that I may rework and keep on hand. I also want to go through the sermons from 1999-2007. For some reason I think the ones from 2003-2007 might be some of my better ones, but who knows.

Authority in preaching/teaching

Lately I've been thinking about the place of authority in preaching and/or teaching. I have the opportunity to hear a variety of speakers at our Sunday worship gatherings, as well as other places. I am certainly not trying to knock anyone - we all have different styles - and I was never what I would consider a great speaker either. However, in my opinion...

...speaking "AS" an authority seems to be completely different than speaking "FROM A PLACE OF" authority.

I recently heard a sermon that, while it sounded good, and a lot of people thought it was really good, I was a little more... skeptical (see, I'm not just cynical). The speaker shared biblical references, but then he seemed to back up - or prove - all of his points from his own life. In a seemingly subtle way I felt like he was claiming the events of his life as the authority behind the truth of Scripture. I sense this now and then. People speak as an authority because they have lived out a biblical truth.

Now, it may be true that no one is more of an authority on their own life then themselves. However, I'd like to think that Scripture is Truth APART from our life experience. Yes, you may have life experiences that illustrate biblical truth, but that is not what deems it truth.

One thing I'd like to think I learned as I matured in my preaching was that it's easy to sound like an authority when everything is going well in your life. It's another thing to preach from a place of humility when nothing seems to be working out (in a worldly manner anyway). The truth of Scripture should not be diminished by our LACK of experience anymore than personal experience proves it.

Not to pick on young people, because they certainly aren't the only ones who do it, but I wish someone had figured out a way how to teach me sooner rather than later how to better handle the authority of Scripture. How to see IT as the authority, rather than myself. How foolish it is to think I "have it figured out," only to discover later that maybe I didn't have a clue what I was talking about.

Anyway, I guess my point is, I sense a trend among some young-ish preachers/teachers who seem to believe their lives hold the authority with which to preach (ie. being a preacher gives them some kind of authority), rather than what I believe is a healthier respect for the authority of God's Word itself. It makes no difference if I understand it or am able to follow it. It is what it is, so to speak.

I dunno, maybe it comes down to trusting the Holy Spirit; or trusting Its ability to read us, rather than our ability to read it. Meh... whatever.

God's new song for my 2015

The main speaker at our church (Chris) just completed a 2-part series on New Beginnings this past Sunday. It was based on the Psalms in general - particularly Psalm 40 - as well as Philippians 3:13-14. This past Sunday he emphasized Psalm 40:1-3.

¹ I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
³ He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in him.

 I LOVE this passage. I am a lover of the Psalms in general - I would regularly read from them and preach from them when I didn't know what else to read and/or preach - but Psalm 40 is an incredible piece of writing.

We also looked at Philippians 3:13-14 - about "forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead." The past has passed - we have been forgiven and there's nothing we can do to change it - so we look ahead at what God wants to do in and through us in the coming days.

So the gist of the message was.... "What new song does God have in store for me in 2015?" Or "What would we like to see God do in and through us this year?" We were given time to pray and write out - and then discuss with someone else - God's "new song" for our coming year in the areas of: UP, IN, and OUT (3dm terminology).

From J.R. Briggs

 Then, on the other side of the card, we were to write out 'One thing that could only happen this year if God does it.' In other words, if it were not based on my own skill or hard work, but absolutely had to be something God did in/through me, what would I like to see happen?'

I wrestled with it Sunday, and still am. I'm not overly satisfied with my thinking at this point, but this is what I've come up with so far:

God's New Song for My 2015:
1. UP (my relationship with God)
- I would like to have my heart restored for worship (singing in particular, but other ways too). I just don't 'feel' it when I sing or am in a worship gathering anymore. I don't like that.

2. IN (my relationship with other christians)
- I would like to get in a small group or study group of some kind.
- I wish we could find a couple other couples to hang out with, people similar to us and on the same journey.

3. OUT (my relationship with unbelievers)
- Basically, it would be nice to give a crap again - a heart, or desire, to reach out.
- I wish I could come to the place where I felt like inviting others either into church stuff or Kingdom living.
- I want to explore the pizza idea, or maybe hanging with the people at the veterans home... some type of service/ministry thing.

As for the one thing that I'd like to see that can only happen if God does it... Two things:
1. Forgiveness and restoration with the church council (and a few others) at my former church.
2. A desire for ministry again - whether occupational or not.

So, we'll see where this goes. I can't really say if I feel better or worse at the beginning of this year than past years, but I am at least hopeful this year. I feel like something is going to happen. Who knows. God's works in some mysterious ways, and life is strange.

I don't know nothin' and a recovering racist

There are a couple pieces I want to point to regarding the whole race/ferguson/police thing. I've been hesitant to discuss it much, but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it. I am not usually so restrained in my opinions. Maybe I'm maturing. Or afraid. I don't know, but I am learning that anybody can have an opinion; it's another thing entirely to have something worthwhile to say.

The following two posts really stuck with me. The first I saw on Fitch's blog, and the second is from a guy who actually grew up in the same small Illinois town of 400 people as I did. He lived down the street.

David Whited wrote the following, and I'm just going to put the whole thing on here.

One night in high school youth group, my youth pastor told us a story about the first time he was invited to preach at a historically black church in our hometown in Arkansas. My youth pastor had just graduated from seminary and was feeling pretty good about all of the stuff that he learned there, so when the invitation came, he thought he’d preach on a subject he felt would relate to the people he was preaching to.

The topic he chose for that Sunday’s message? Suffering.

My youth pastor told us about how he got up to the pulpit on that bright Sunday morning and preached his heart out. He was shocked by how the shouts from the congregation made him a better preacher than he had ever been in a white church. He was convinced things had gone really well, so he was really excited to see one of the men he had identified as an elder in the congregation start to move toward him to shake his hand at the end of the service.

As the old man made his way to shake his hand, the young preacher indulged in some quick fantasies about the assessment he was about to receive. He was pretty sure that the elder was going to tell him he was surprised that a young white man could “bring it like that”.

Instead, the old man reached out to shake my youth pastor’s hand and gave him exactly one sentence of feedback. He said, “Boy… you don’t know nothin’.”

Ever since the night I heard that story while sitting cross-legged on the floor in the youth room at my church, I have tried to take that elder’s simple remark as my starting point in any conversation I engage in around topics of race, difference, or marginalization. It’s true. I don’t know nothin’. That’s why I need to listen long before I speak and learn before I make a judgment. I’m not naturally good at either one of those things, but because of that old man’s rebuke (and the humility of my youth pastor), I know I have to try.

I pray for all the people of Ferguson tonight and offer up this confession before so much violence and fear:

It’s true. I don’t know nothin’.

 I would like to include the entire post for the second one too, but this is long enough already, so here is the link to Joshua Throneburg's "Thoughts From A Recovering Racist." He starts out, "I grew up white, not just in the color of my skin, but in the culture of my youth..." It's good stuff. Worth clicking through to read.

Where I most need spiritual breakthrough

Yesterday I posted my notes from the teaching we received this past Sunday on Spiritual Breakthrough. We discussed some of the more typical strongholds we face in the Western World. I was already aware of one area I have been struggling with, but during the course of the hour there was another that struck me. My two biggest strongholds right now are: Pride and shame.

At the beginning of the message Sunday we were asked to think about where we most needed spiritual breakthrough. I immediately thought to myself (and wrote in my notes), "I need to start living up to the calling I've received." When Paul (the presenter) defined pride as "the fear of ridicule," I knew that's exactly what he was talking about. Over the past couple years I had become burned out, severely hurt, and (I believe) treated unfairly. Subsequently, I sort of lost my way. As in the prisoner of war analogy yesterday, I was living a defeated existence and hoping someone would rescue me. The Truth is, someone HAS provided a way out. I need to grasp onto it and once again begin fighting the good fight. My pride has been holding me back.

My pride was hurt by getting fired, losing control of how I left the church, having lies spread about me/us, and betrayal from people we thought were our friends. I became overly worried about what other people thought. I was living with a fear of ridicule. That needs to stop now.

The other thing, which I wasn't quite so aware of, was how much I was struggling with shame. I fell pretty hard, and reacted poorly. I sunk to new lows in both behavior and thinking. I started smoking, drinking too much, and doing things with no regard for consequences. Beyond outward actions, though, it had a serious effect on me internally. I lost hope and began to see myself as a failure. That went so far as wondering if I was even a Christian anymore. It was like all the things I'd preached over the years were now a big lie. How could I face people after that?

Well, I guess you do it like anything else... You confess it, repent, and believe. So here goes...

By the way, as an aside, I know these past several posts have been a little more serious and personal. Just to be clear, I am not looking for advice, affirmation or explanations... I'm simply writing out my "stuff." I appreciate everyone treading lightly with any comments. Thanks. :)

Spiritual breakthrough

We were treated to another great teaching this past Sunday from Paul M. You can listen to it HERE. These are some notes I took on my phone...

We started by pondering the question: What is the next area of spiritual breakthrough I am looking for (or need) in becoming more like Jesus? ie - Where do I need to experience freedom in Christ?

We discussed Ephesians 6:12
^"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

 According to Paul (and by "Paul" I mean Paul M, not the apostle), The enemy seems to operate both OVERTLY and COVERTLY in keeping us from finding freedom. In his estimation (and mine), the struggle we face from evil in the West is much more covert than overt. So how do we do battle with this? He says 2 Cor. 10:3-6...

2 Corinthians 10:3-6 
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete."

He defined a "stronghold" as - a way of thinking that keeps us from getting to the deeper things of God.

He made a list of some typical strongholds in the West that are spot on (imho). They are (as best as I can remember):
- Provision (money/security)
- Healing (poverty of Spirit)
- Unbelief (reason vs faith)
- Distraction (idolatry)
- Pride (fear of ridicule)
- Shame (fear of disclosure)
- Workaholism (striving)

"When we start walking in the light, a huge portion of the enemy's power is taken away." PM

Prisoner of War analogy -- 
Paul talked about how prisoners of war are taken captive by their enemy. Their weapons are taken away, they no longer pose a threat. A POW can live out the war simply by doing nothing (albeit on the wrong side). However, every soldier knows that the first duty of a POW is to try to find a way to escape. It's not to wait for someone to rescue you, or to wait for the war to end.......  THAT is powerful stuff. I have been waiting way too long for someone to free me. I need to start working towards my own escape.


He ended the message by giving some pointers for pulling down these strongholds.
1 - Recognize what it is in your life
2 - Admit it to someone else
3 - Repent and believe

Tomorrow, God willing, I will share the two big areas in my life where I need spiritual breakthrough.