Death notes

Yesterday I was afraid of dying; today I fear I've not been living. (random thought I had this morning)

I wrote much of what follows a couple months ago (August 21, 2023 to be exact). I had read something I wanted shared at my funeral, and thought I'd jot it down along with some other things I've always considered appropriate for such a time (whether it was mine or someone else). However, little did I know that at that very moment the wife of one of my oldest and best online friends was passing on. So, while I shared some of this with him, I didn't feel right about putting it on here out of respect for both he and his wife. For some reason I have a feeling today is when I should... Hopefully it's okay.

 

SOME THINGS I'D LIKE AT MY FUNERAL:

In the August 18th entry to the daily devotional Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals they include this little ditty:

Ambrose, bishop of Milan and a doctor of the church, said this in the fourth century: "Death comes to every person. You must keep facing it with perseverance. Death is a passover from corruption to incorruption, from mortality to immortality, from rough seas to a calm harbor. The word 'death' must not trouble us; the blessings that come from a safe journey should bring us joy. What is death, but the burial of sin and the resurrection of goodness? Scripture says: Let my soul die among the souls of the just; that is, let me be buried with the just, so that I may cast off my sins and put on the grace of the just, of those who bear the death of Christ with them, in their bodies and in their souls."

The closing prayer is...

Lord, you have conquered death and triumphed over evil. There is nothing left for us to fear. Put us to work on this earth, striving for the kingdom in everything we do. Let us die to ourselves each day that we might find ourselves made new in you. Amen.

Also, along with the things I wrote from The Lakota Way in my 4/5/23 post The Standard For Truth. Specifically this: "Death does not kill. Disease, accidents, rage, old age, stupidity, among others, are killers. Death is only part of the process of life."

 

Then this from James Bryan Smith's An Arrow Pointing to Heaven (p.200):

Death is really another birth. Imagine telling a baby in the womb, attached to an umbilical cord, "Hey, guess what? You are about to enter into a bright new world with sound and light and air and brilliant colors. You will be able to see and smell and taste for the first time. There are mountains and sunflowers and sandy beaches... a lot of beautiful things out here. You're gonna have to let go of that umbilical cord. In fact, we're gonna snip it. Don't worry. You'll be fine after a few moments of crying." I think our death is something like that. It is actually a birth into a brighter, more aromatic, more delicious, more beautiful world than the one we now know. But we can only guess at it. We are really in no better position of understanding it than the infant could understand our world from the womb. 

As for me personally... I hesitantly share these words a dear friend wrote to and about me. It's very personal and I will cherish this until... well... the day I die. So I guess I might as well be truly transparent and just include it in this post (I have never been as humbled as every time I read this)...

When I think of you, the first thing that comes to mind is your heart that runs, crawls and sometimes even drags itself after God.

You've had some (many) hard things in your life, and I've heard you pray. It was powerful. You are incredibly honest and intentional in ways that I rarely have seen in communication with God... I think this is one of my favorite characteristics about you and displayed often in regard to God - a characteristic found in intercessors.

Also, intercessors bare burdens in a deeper way than most people do. They are feelers in ways that most people aren't. You go deep in your thoughts and interactions. Such a beautiful thing in what is often a shallow world.

You are compassionate for the underdog. Always wanting to lift people up who are hurting....

I love the fact that you are a reader, and you don't just read to read, but you ponder words deeply, and the character of the person writing. Just like you go beyond the beauty of creation, and look to the Creator. It's always about the being, in regard to people and in regard to the things of God. You are relational, even though you are an introvert. That's the best kind of friend and the best kind of introvert.

I love the way you love Jane, and I love the way Jane loves you. So many hard times that you two have been through, yet you still are side by side. Not just a testimony to the Lord, but to you two and your strength, perseverance, and a testimony of hope - things do get better with time, and will not always be as they appear in the moment.

I see Jesus in you. All that I have said are words that can be said of Jesus.

Also... the two decent human beings that you've discipled via your life. They have learned the important things in life. They, too, fight for the underdog, are compassionate toward others, look for deep conversations, and are seekers of truth. They have so many of those good qualities that are seen in you.

Dan, you are an incredible individual. You are put together just as you're supposed to be... The world's a better place for many, because you're in it.

I suppose this would be an appropriate place to recognize the reality of grief, and I've always liked this from the October 8 entry in CP:ALFOR:

Andy Raine of the Northumbria Community has written, "Do not hurry as you walk with grief; it does not help the journey. Walk slowly, pausing often: do not hurry as you walk with grief. Be not disturbed by memories that come unbidden. Swiftly forgive; and let Christ speak for you unspoken words. Unfinished conversation will be resolved in him. Be not disturbed. Ben gentle with the one who walks with grief. If it is you, be gentle with yourself. Swiftly forgive; walk slowly, pausing often. Take time, be gentle as you walk with grief." 

 

At some point I would also like Psalm 23 and The Lord's Prayer. And... maybe... perhaps towards the end or something, one of my favorite verses has always been Habakkuk 3:17-18:

Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

    and no cattle in the stalls, 

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

 

There... there's my funeral service. Feel free to use what you like, change the order of, or disregard all or parts. Regardless though... You're welcome. ;)

Have a great day!