Wednesday, July 09, 2014

I forgot how... or, stage fright

I desperately need to start running again. Not only to get back in shape, but for my mind as much as my body. But it's like I don't even know how to start. I can't remember how to do it. I actually think I walk different now (since the plantar fasciitis).

Plus... I have to admit that I'm kind of scared. I'm scared it will be discouraging. I'm scared of another injury. I'm scared that I will give up.

That seems to apply to a lot of things anymore. I got asked to do a wedding recently, and I really wanted to do it... But I just couldn't. I can't imagine speaking in front of a group of people again. I don't feel like I can speak for God, or about God.

The same goes for preaching, or speaking in general. I just can't imagine it.

I suppose it's only natural though. This is kind of who I used to be. Before. Before any of it.

But to be "running" from running... Ugh. I dunno. Life is a funny thing.