I love Sundays. Especially Sunday mornings. Much more so now that we actually know some people and are starting to get a little more involved in things. I had several conversations yesterday but three in particular stood out, and I wanted to make note of them.
Jane and I were greeters yesterday (which we've been doing more and more). There is a sweet older couple that I'm pretty sure we've introduced ourselves to before, but they introduced themselves again yesterday when they arrived. They are always smiling and happy, and the woman is almost always wearing a hat of some sort and a lot of makeup. Anyway, they asked us if we would like to go out for lunch with them after church some Sunday. We agreed and set a date, then they told us that this is a ministry they do. They like to invite new people to the church out for a meal. To date they have done 57 of them. I think that's a pretty neat, and not just a little amazing. It's not really my cup of tea, but I'm glad they do it.
After the service was over we were hanging around chit-chatting and someone who runs a grief ministry had heard I do coaching. She asked if it would be okay if she referred people my way (she also knows I will be unemployed after this week). She has actually asked me before, and I'm flattered that she trusts me enough to do so. I'm feeling kind of torn at the moment about my ability to coach people, but it's nice to be thought of nonetheless.
The third conversation, which was actually the first one I had Sunday, was with a gentleman in the same Bible Study as me. It was just me, the pastor, and this guy yesterday. We somewhat know each other, but not well. So I asked where he worked. He said he was in retail for a long time and finally got burned out, so now he works for a cleaning company. He said it's kind of nice to not have to deal with people anymore and just keep to himself and work at his own pace. I have to admit, when he said that, it sounded really appealing to me. I'm not sure I want to work nights and weekends (when most office cleaning would be done), but I would probably save myself and a lot of other people a lot of headaches if I didn't have to work with anyone.
So, as I start off my last week of working at my present job, I was thinking about these conversations. I must confess, I'm feeling pretty small right now. I seem to be losing my nerve. I'm beginning to question myself again and have lost my confidence. I've also had a couple panic attacks lately. I hate those. The thought of being without a job - or actually it's more the thought of trying to find another - seems quite daunting and has me a bundle of nerves. I'm sure it will pass, but I don't like this.
Anyway, I have a feeling this is going to be a long week. I'd much rather just do my thing and not have to deal with anything or anyone (mostly myself). I'm sure I will survive, but I will be glad to be past this stage. I think.