Sinus with pacs (not afib)

"Here we go again," I thought. I'd gone over two months with no Afib issues. I was really hoping since discovering cold things set my heart-rate wacky, just maybe I wouldn't have any more problems. 

Then I woke up yesterday and... dang. I could feel my chest fluttering. I got out the Kardia Mobile device and sure enough it spit out a "Possible Atrial Fibrillation" reading.

I knew I was feeling pretty worn down. I hadn't gotten a good nights sleep since the middle of last week. I had the soreness, the infection, another pill to take, ncaa basketball tourney, a concert, the baptisms... I'd been on somewhat of a roller coaster emotionally too. I didn't even hear Jane leave for work yesterday, and even after waking up, I never really "woke up." So, here we were.

The episode lasted about two hours, and I waited until it was over to text my Kardia reading to the cardiologist (he's actually a cardiac electrophysiologist). He texted back in about an hour:

"Sinus with PACs. Not afib! Extra beats from the top"

I wasn't real sure what that meant, but I am pretty sure "sinus" is good and assumed the "Not afib!" (with exclamation point!) might mean 'Sinus with PACs' is somehow ... not as bad as afib(?).

So I asked Dr. Google (who I don't really trust anymore), and discovered PAC stands for "Premature Atrial Contractions" or "Premature Atrial Complexes." 

This piece from the Cleveland Clinic summarizes with this statement:

A premature atrial contraction is an extra heartbeat that starts in one of your heart’s upper chambers (atria). It may feel like your heart skips a beat. Premature atrial contractions usually don’t need treatment. But you should contact a healthcare provider if your premature atrial contractions start happening more often.

This piece from Very Well Health notes that "An estimated 50% of all people with or without heart disease have PACs," and kinda sounds like it's not that big of a deal.

I do have to say, this is what most (not all) of what I normally call my "afib episodes" feel and act like (since the ablation). My resting heart rate never goes much over 80-90, and it's almost in rhythm, but just not quite. It's like it's trying, but, yeah, it's either missing a beat, or there's an extra. And they do feel different from some of the episodes where the heart beat is just all-over-the-place-total-random and I'm completely worn out. 

So, I guess there's that. After it was over I went for my normal 5-mile Monday run and carried on as usual and felt fine. 

Boy, isn't it great getting old? Though, honestly, if I can just not get myself freaked out, it really isn't that bad. Such is life, I suppose...

 

*That is not my actual ekg pictured above

Baptising the grands

Yesterday I had the pleasure and privilege of being able to baptize 3 of our 4 grandchildren. Words do no justice here... but alas... I will record some thoughts nonetheless.

I was pretty excited when I first heard they wanted to be baptized. That excitement cranked to ELEVEN when one of them texted me and asked if I would do it! 

We actually got together a couple times to discuss what it meant and how it would/should go, plus our pastor sent some resources for them to read. I was more than satisfied even with what they had already learned about it at the Lutheran school they attend. They knew more than I did when I took the plunge.  

There were a number of people getting baptized on this day and the pastor sent some basic instructions. The church is open to allowing for different beliefs about baptism, and encouraging for people to have someone special do the honors, so I sort of planned out how I intended to do things.

I was going to share a few words about each of the grandkids, then offer a prayer for the three of them together - which would kind of sum up their feelings as well as my own beliefs that baptism is much more than just us taking a step of faith, but also God working his grace within and through us. Then I would baptize each of them one at a time using the vows supplied by the pastor.

Well, as is per usual at our church, when we arrived Sunday morning, and they realized there were going to be 18 people baptized, they changed the plan slightly. It wasn't a big deal, but they asked everyone to be brief (a couple minutes): say something about the candidate, ask them for a few words about why they wanted to be baptized, then do the dunking. So we changed on the fly and it worked out fine. Mostly I just didn't do the prayer, which was probably longer than it should have been anyway.

As for how the morning went:

The kids did fine, other than the boys were somewhat picking at each other while standing up front. I'm sure they were nervous, as we were in the main sanctuary and there was probably at least double the number of people who are usually in attendance. Personally, I have no recollection of what I even said. I kind of "winged it." It was about them, after all, so I doubt anyone was even paying attention to me.

I did find it interesting the number of people whose parents did the baptizing, and the number of mothers who did it (as opposed to fathers or both).

I believe there were only 3 adults baptized; the majority were middle school-ish age.  

We did manage to get everyone baptized, sing several songs as usual, and the pastor did some teaching on baptism beforehand - all in just over an hour. 

All told, it was a pretty emotional day for me. However, because everything changed sort of last minute, I was much more emotional before it happened, and even now, as opposed to at the moment. Unfortunately I wasn't aware of much during the actual ceremony. Such is life. 

For what it's worth, here are the vows I asked of each child:

QUESTION 1 - "Do you desire to love and follow Jesus with all you are and all you will become?" (yes or I do)

QUESTION 2 - "Do you commit to belonging and being known in the church for your own growth and the good of the world?" (yes or I do)

BAPTISMAL STATEMENT: "Based upon your desire to love and follow Jesus and to belong to His family, and the many ways we see God's Spirit alive and at work in your life, I now baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

 

Five things friday

Yeah yeah... I know. Anyway...

1. After a rough 16-mile run last Friday, a week of feeling like crap again, visit to a new doctor, and getting some antibiotics for a bacterial infection... My 19 miles today wasn't half bad! Oh, sure, I'm plenty worn down and a little sore right now, but considering I could barely walk this past Wednesday, I was pretty happy with it. I managed to stretch it to 3 1/2 hours, plus another 3/4-mile walk afterward. That's still a little faster than I wanted to go. I was averaging just under 10:30 miles for the most part, and started walking a piece of every few miles towards the end. Again, it's not how fast I do these long runs, but how much time I spend on my feet. I'd have liked it to be closer to 4 hours today, but it never is. Whatever.
2. Speaking of the new doctor... Jane had to find a new doctor and she discovered this place called Premise Health. Apparently it's specifically for people who have PHP insurance (which we do). She really likes the doctor, and visits are only $35 - which usually includes your prescription and any lab work! Plus, it appears you can generally get a same-day appointment! So I tried it out. I made my appointment in the morning, and walked right in when I got there. The doctor is super mellow, I was in and out and had my antibiotic in 30 minutes! Btw, apparently it was an infection in my groin area (which I've dealt with most of my life every5-10 years or so). Personally, I think it was from pushing too hard the week after having the flu. I probably shouldn't have done that 16-miler last week. The infection attacked my weak areas (groin issue and my right knee) - at least that's my non-medical-degree hypothesis. Regardless of all that, it's feeling much better.
3. This morning I listened to Song of Songs (Song of Solomon) on the Youversion App. I recommend reading/listening to it in its entirety. There are just eight short chapters, and having the New International Version (Anglicised), Audio Edition guy read it to you is another plus! 
4. Lots of things going on, and I really do feel heel-ish for not blogging more than I do, but it's just how it is right now. And it's MARCH MADNESS! As much as money and greed is ruining everything, for some reason I'm still a sucker for men's college basketball. And, yes, I know women's sports are popular too... give me a break. You can watch it if you want; why can't I watch what I want to?? Anyway, I wish we had a better TV plan, and that I maybe cared just a little more, because I really like watching college basketball. I don't do it as much as I used to, nor get as into it as I used to, but it's a fun time of year. At least until I start to think about how it's all going to hell because of money and greed and whatnot...
5. "Learn what is to be taken seriously and laugh at the rest." -Hermann Hesse

 Well, I'm a little impressed with myself that I did this much today. I did not expect I'd get this far. Yay. How 'bout we all find something to laugh at today? Or at least smile. You can thank me later. ;)

Five things friday

Wow, it is 76°F with sunshine!!! What in the actual world... It's like summer time.

1.  This morning I ran ~16 miles, which included probably 2 miles of walking interspersed. I was scheduled to do 13, but I was also supposed to do 18 last Friday and did a big fat zero! So I wasn't sure what to do exactly. It was not one of my better runs, but I survived. It was hot! Next Friday calls for 19 miles. Ugh.
2. I'm thinking of doing a 4x4x48 run challenge later this year. Apparently it was popularized by a guy named David Goggins. The idea is: every 4 hours you run or walk 4 miles over a 48-hour period (for a total of 48 miles). I may do that instead of a fall marathon, but I'd like to read up on it a little more before making any kind of commitment.
3. We are babysitting the 3 grandkids who live nearest us (and their dog) overnight tonight. The one boy has basketball practice tonight, and the girl has a basketball tournament (in Warsaw) tomorrow, so we'll be hopping about - plus feeding their chickens on the farm. Should be fun!
4. And, speaking of the grandkids, I was asked if I would baptize the 3 of them at our church a week from Sunday. It sort of melted my heart, if you know what I mean. So I need to brush up on all that! :)
5. "There is too much bad news to justify complacency. There is too much good news to justify despair." - Donella Meadows (scientist)

Alrighty then... have a safe and smart St. Patty's day, friends (as I sip on a Guinness myself). ;)

Monday meander

Hey there,

It's Monday and I'm happy to report that I am still alive! Yes, we survived the stomach bug from last week. She had it much worse than I did - which sounds not un-similar to our marriage, I suppose. At any rate, we're both on the mend.

I thought I'd just jot down a few different things while I was on here (just got done with my Monday online meeting)...

• I don't know if I've mentioned on here that we've been watching The Chosen. Yes, we're a bit late to the game, but, honestly, we really like it. No, it's not where we get our theology lessons... but why would we do that anyway? One thing, though, I really REALLY like the music, so I looked it up and, lo and behold, Dan Haseltine is involved. You might recall him from Jars of Clay (one of my fave bands of that era).
• We have not been to our church's worship gathering 3 of the last 4 Sundays (due to other commitments). It just so happened to coincide with when we were experimenting with a different space to meet in. I didn't really mind, because I AM NOT a fan of the new space they're looking at. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but it's very "church-y" to a specific era, and not one of my fonder eras at that. In the grand scheme I suppose it's a big "whatever," but I just don't know if I can handle PEW CHAIRS! And it has nothing to do with comfort (though I don't find them all that comfortable). It's more the look, and the VIBE. I'd personally rather sit in a mud puddle than subject myself to such trauma! (Ok, so maybe I'm over-reacting a little... but I don't like em).
• I missed my 18-mile run this past week, which actually makes two years in a row I missed that run in the Spring. Last year I actually took the entire week off from running after having the ablation procedure on my heart. The marathon happened nonetheless. I got back at it today with a slow and easy 5 miles. No worries. Well, no more than usual.
• I shared this on FB a few days ago... I have really been getting into listening to the Bible. We are both reading through chronologically this year, and I've been reading ahead. We've been using an actual paper-paged Bible, but one day I was out and about so I read from my phone. I've always used the Youversion App. Later it dawned on me to have the app read it for me. I have trouble with just listening, but I like how it also notes on the text where it's at - so you can follow along. I was using the NIV, and switched narrator's to the New International Version (Anglicised), Audio Edition, and... man, I really like listening to that guy. Not just his voice, but his inflection as well. Lately he's been reading the Psalms to me, and it is so, so calming.

 Okey doke, that's probably more than anyone wanted to read today from me. Why don't you take the rest of the day off and relax....

Peace

Five things friday (or less)

1. We have been sick puppies. M’Lady got sick with the stomach flu Wednesday night. I thought I might somehow escape it and was getting ready to work a concert yesterday afternoon when it hit me. Oh man. I haven’t had it near as bad as her, but it ain’t fun. So we’ll see how long I can type.
2. Speaking of which, I am writing this on the new iPad. I haven’t messed with it much but it’s allowed me to do this from the recliner.
3. I will say, I’m not a fan of how the keyboard is setup. Are all Mac’s like this? Why is a keyboard not just universal? It’s stupid. 
4. I do hope that someday I can get back to sharing some actual information on Fridays again. Man, it seems like one thing after another. And I missed my 18-mile run today! Not sure I’ve even taken 18 steps. 
5. “When I say, ‘Start young,’ I’m thinking that means now. You’re as young as you’re ever going to be!” -Don Kern

Have been

I'ma gonna try to start writing a little more often again. Maybe. At least for today...

One day in my daily journal (2/24/25) I read 2 Corinthians 5:14-21. The prompt was: "In Christ, you are a new creation. In what ways do you desire to live more fully aligned with this reality?" 

2 Corinthians 5:14-21

¹⁴ For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. ¹⁵ And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

¹⁶ So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. ¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! ¹⁸ All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: ¹⁹ that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. ²⁰ We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. ²¹ God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

I've read this text a number of times, but as I meditated on it that day (and again today), verse 18 really stood out. "...God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ..."

I haven't done a detailed study of the passage, but what really struck me was "reconciled" is in the past tense. Perhaps I've always thought about this along the lines of sanctification - which is a process - and considered it as "we are BEING reconciled." But that's not how the text reads. Whether it us you and me as a follower of Jesus, or even just the author of this text, it is a done deal!

There is no working out being reconciled, like working out our salvation. The work was done by God, in Christ. I/we HAVE BEEN reconciled to God!

So, the only question is: how then will I live knowing this? There's nothing to earn, nothing to achieve, nothing to wait for... Reconciliation with God, oneness with God, peace with God (however you want to say it), has happened.

There should be more joy. That's how I think this applies to me.

What about you?

Mental health retreat

This past weekend we participated in an overnight retreat put on by our church. It wasn't really a "mental health" retreat so much, but is part of our church's Mental Health Initiative this year. We received a grant centered on integrating Christian Spirituality and Mental Health, and this is one of about a dozen pieces to that.

There will be two weekend retreats with around 30 people at each. We were in the first.

Accommodations were at The Bradley hotel in downtown Fort Wayne. After check-in we began Friday evening with a group meal at a nearby local restaurant (Nawa). There was one session Friday night following the meal, breakfast in the morning, followed by two more sessions, then lunch. We were done by 1 pm.

The sessions were led by Holland, MI based therapist and trauma specialist Ryan Kuja, with guided contemplative practices, instruction and workshop related to relevant mental health themes, and space for personal reflection. There were also plenty of opportunities to connect with others.

I thought it was quite interesting. I was familiar with some of the topics (Ignatian Examen, IFS (a little), Visio Divina, prayers of lament, and some of the regulating resources mentioned/practiced (pendulation, orienting, various breathing techniques & somatic practices, etc.). Some of the discussion on the nervous system, attachment theory treatment, autonomic mapping, and such was at times a bit over my head, but I also found it intriguing and helpful. 

The more I look over my notes, the more I recall from this too-short time together, and the more I appreciate it.

Below I will share a few of the quotes/thoughts I made note of and highlighted:

• God's first question to Adam & Eve: "Where are you?" (kindness/longing/reconnection)
• "I'm not broken; I'm just stuck" (thus the need for regulating resources)
• Trauma = Greek word for "wound"
• "There is something more than agony in our wounds; there is something of value. A journey of finding value then transforming our wounds."
• "Beneath the pattern lies protection; beneath the protection lies pain (wound); Healing means going beneath the protection and touching the pain."
• "Our protective parts courageously defend a thousand bleeding wounds."
• "The wound is the thing that joins us to the crucified God. It is touching the pain and allowing others to touch it that transforms our wounds (allowing us to become a site of new life)."
• "What we resist persists."
• "Politics = our shared life together."
• "Lament is a healthy response to the pain and chaos we experience."
• "Lament is the language of suffering" (Brueggeman)
• ~"The goal is not to become better, but a more human version of ourselves" (Jason K.)
• "There's a time to tame the dragon, and a time to become the dragon."
• "Authoritative regions don't want you at peace, they want you in chaos. Resist! ... Rest is resistance, and turning the other cheek, joy, etc.)
• *Aikido in Combat video

 So, there's some of that. I'm glad we went, and am looking forward to some of the other components coming up over the rest of the year.

New-phone nightmare

Ugh. Can you relate?

Like getting old doesn't have enough problems without technology... Getting a new phone has to be among the worst of things (just below buying a car, a new house, and picking out a casket).

Yet, both of us took the plunge and got new phones. Not because we wanted to, but we needed to. Our old phones we being more and more uncooperative (not unlike me), and we feared they were just going to quit one of these days. So...

I went from an iPhone 8 to an iPhone 16 (I can't even see the top of this learning curve from where I stand), and Jane went from an 11 to a 16 Pro (she wanted the better camera).

HOW IT HAPPENED

We went to Best Buy, as we have done for most of our phones, and it turns out they now just have Verizon employees in-house. So, after the customary, "Oh, we don't even offer that plan anymore. For a mere few dollars more we can get you all these extras (that we don't want)!" Yada yada. We are supposed to be receiving a "free" ($10/month) iPad in the mail.

Anyway, I probably should have opted for an older model, but they didn't have any on display (if you can imagine). At least we are supposed to get ~$450 when we return our old phones. So he changed our plan and we paid the taxes and whatnot, then... THEN, we needed to drive across town to an actual Verizon store to pick up our phones! Yeesh!

That was about all I could muster for the night. Spending nearly $2,000 for a couple devices that we couldn't even use yet. Um, and no one bothered to tell us none of our chargers would work on these phones! Let alone a new case and screen protector... Uh, NO, I do not want the insurance for an extra $20/month!

THE SWITCH

We'd never done the changeover ourselves, but didn't want to spend yet another $50 per phone to have them do it, so we waited until the next day to tackle that.

I watched a couple Youtube videos and it didn't really look too difficult. Much easier than the Verizon salesman explained to us anyway. So, while Jane was at an after-work event, I decided to go for it by myself! 

All I had to do was set my old phone next to the new phone and turn the new one on. It immediately started a series of prompts between the phones and seemed to be going pretty well. That is... until they texted me some code number, and I had to leave the prompt screen to retrieve the texted number... and there appeared to be no way to return to the screen doing the transfer!! So I ended up having to abort the process on the new phone, restart it all over again, and hope for the best (Jane had to do the same thing later on her phone).

That was really the only glitch during the changeover - that I'd discovered initially. It switched all my apps and settings and everything easy peazy. 

However, Jane texted me when she was on her way home. I received it, but when I texted her back, it went to my old phone instead of her phone. Then my texts starting going right back to me. This is because for some reason we share an iCloud account, and we can't seem to figure out how not to. Once Jane got home we finally figured out what I'd done wrong in the setup process and got that straightened out. I don't think I can even explain it...

THE ONLY APP PROBLEM

So far (so far), the only app I've discovered that didn't successfully make the transition was my Garmin watch. I messed and messed with it between both phones last night and wore myself into a fury trying to get the phone to "discover" the watch. I finally had to just go to bed and resign myself that I might lose all my run history and not be able to use my watch for my 8 miles today.

This morning I tried a few more things and, lo and behold, I finally got the watch and phone connected. For awhile. It wasn't exactly how I had it before, and after monkeying around, I then got the watch into some funky mode that wouldn't allow me to do anything. I just called customer support because I was tired of googling possible fixes and racking my tiny little pea-sized weary brain.

The watch and app appear to be working now, but I do need to go into the watch setting to try to get it set back up how it was. Whatever.

So, that's the long sad story of two old farts getting new phones. It ain't pretty... And I doubt it's going to get any easier here on out.

Now I need to figure out what all we need to get to charge the stupid things!!! I tried looking at the store yesterday, and it just made my brain hurt.

Ugh.

Five things friday

Did you think I was going to skip another ftf? Nope... here we go.

1. So, here's the thing... Last Friday I just "wasn't feeling it." I wasn't depressed, or sick, or mad about anything... I simply didn't feel like saying anything. And, I kinda think, I'm feeling like that more and more. I don't know that I've run out of things to say as much as... I don't really feel much like saying anything.
2. Here's another thing... My silence/contemplation/prayer/meditation practice seems to be ... I don't know the exact word I'm looking for ... expanding/growing/becoming more fulfilling, or fruitful, or... something. It's a bit hard to pinpoint, and the last thing I think I want to do is try to "figure it out." It's been good, and I don't want to, you know, ruin it or something.
3. Shoot, I almost already forgot that I ran 17 miles this morning! It took just under 3 hours, averaging a 10:25 pace. This was my last week doing 4/8/4 midweek, and next week I start 5/8/5, and have a long run of 18. Ugh. Then I step back to 13(?), then 19, another step-back, then 20, and THEN I start the taper. So this next few weeks will be the worst. I'm debating whether to cut back on weight training during this time or just keep at it as long as I can...
4. Oh, and yesterday was me lovely Lady's birthday! I got her a trash can. :) Yep, it's true. :) Though not just any trash can. We've kind of had an internal back-and-forth about our old Rubbermaid kitchen can. She doesn't like how it gets stained inside the lid and whatnot. I've never been too fond of the idea of spending a bundle on something as basic as a garbage can. Anyway, I got one of those stainless steel cans with an insert (only I found one in white!), and then filled it with tea, chocolates, and flowers. She seemed happy enough; so I think I'll keep her. ;)
5. "...love runs the cosmos, as pervasive and powerful as gravity and dark matter and the smell of coffee in the morning. Love will teach you to say no to fear and the lust for punishing others." - Matt Tebbe (I love that quote, btw)

Okey doke. We're participating in a mental health retreat put on by our church this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. Also planning to attend a couple of our granddaughter's basketball games. Let the sun shine, friends!!!

Weekend in minneapolis

I've been meaning to make note of this since Monday, and yet, here we are... 

We made a quick trip to Minnesota to see the boy's family (and that newest grandson!) last weekend. A good summation of this visit: I took my shoes off when we arrived Friday at noon, and didn't put them back on until we left Sunday evening. It was that relaxing and splendid. :)

Once again we made use of the super-convenient Delta direct flight between our airport and theirs. Interestingly enough, it takes roughly 90 minutes flying from FWA to MSP in the morning, but only 60 minutes coming back at night. I wonder if the difference is air traffic around Chicago is less at night (at least Sunday night). I dunno, but they were both smooth and uneventful - which is the best kind (especially finding out about the Delta flight out of MSP that crashed the day after we got home!).

We took an Uber from the airport to Isaac's, and it was $50 instead of $20 the last time we flew up there. Maybe it was time of day... or maybe a different president... Again, who knows. Things change. Especially babies!

There is not much else to report about this visit. We tried to hold and snuggle with now-4-month-old Wynn as much as we could. Isaac said he'd been fussy lately, and he maybe was a little bit when we got their Friday, but it didn't last. Saturday and Sunday he seemed to be mostly sleeping, smiling, and starting to learn to giggle! Oh, and he can rip pretty good farts too!!

We ordered pizza Friday night, Isaac made us breakfast Saturday morning, had Asian take-out Saturday night, and otherwise just ate leftovers. 

Perhaps the highlight of the trip was Saturday and Sunday afternoon when we finally convinced I & R to go out while we stayed home with the boy and the dogs. And they actually did! I think they mostly just ran some errands, but they seemed happy to spend a couple hours each day just the two of them again.

It snowed most of Friday night and Saturday, and they maybe got 4" on top of what was already there. It was also pretty chilly (maybe 5°F), though it was supposed to be down to -11 when we left.

Saying goodbye was a bit hard this time - not just to them and Wynn, but this was also probably the last time we will see their old dog, Crosby. We've thought that before, but the vet has confirmed it's likely a matter of months now for the 15 year-old boy. They've had him since college, and I know it will be hard for them.

So, now we are back home. I do have to say, it makes me sad to be so far away. Even thought we don't see our daughter and her family ALL THE TIME... still... they're right here, and we can when we want. It's difficult to think about Wynn growing up and changing so much between each time we see him. But, I know, such is life.

I feel we've been fortunate to have seen the new baby three times in his first four months. Not sure how long we can keep that pace up financially, or how much longer they'll even be in Minnesota, but we'll try to enjoy it while we can.

Five things friday

Hey, we're doing pretty good at rolling back around to these Friday things. The world may be going to hell, but Fridays keep on comin'! 

1. I did a 15-mile run ... on a treadmill!!! Egads. I won't get into the whole story but I did my long run yesterday, and we had snow and freezing rain, and I just didn't feel like slip-sliding around for almost 3 hours outside. So, the treadmill. And I do have to say, it's much easier on the treadmill. Controlled climate, straight and smooth path, no dogs, corners, or weirdos. Well, maybe a few weirdos. Plus, when Jane got done I borrowed her AirPods and actually listened to music! I got through U2s 'Joshua Tree' and 'Achtung, Baby' albums. It went okay.
2. I am working on another sermon (I got asked last week to speak on something specific), and I think I found the perfect opening bit. The U2 song "Until the End of the World" off Achtung, Baby is about an imaginary conversation between Jesus and Judas (Iscariot). And there's this line, "...I was drowning my sorrows, But my sorrows they'd learned to swim." Wow! I like that. Achtung, indeed!!
3. Not bragging, but I've been doing pretty good with my daily Bible reading and this 40-day journal that includes 10 minutes of silence. Man, I really like structure like that. One thing that's really been on my mind a lot lately is: I've been feeling convicted about not speaking out against injustice enough. Yeah, I get it that it's exhausting trying to keep up with social media, politics, and everything going on in the world right now (particularly the USA). I'd like to just stick my head in the sand, drink a beer, and watch funny pet videos. But... I don't know that that is what Jesus would have me do. I don't know that that's what he did; or the Apostles; or the Martyrs. ... ... Yeah ... ...
4. Anyway, one thing I've been meaning to add here for some time is... boy have I really sucked at reading emails lately! Like, a lot! I used to hate having unread/unresponded to emails in my inbox. There's just so much. Mostly I just let them pile up and then at some point I'll go through and swipe them all into the garbage. I'm not proud. S*it happens.
5. "When accessing all information is common, paying attention to important information is rare." - James Clear

Alright, my friends... You know what to do. And I mean that... I think you do.

Happy Valentines Day! ;)

Marathon focus

Some people at church have been trying to talk me into doing a Sprint Triathlon this Spring. It's not so much that I am opposed to doing it, but it's just not that easy (for me). For instance,

• I am not a good swimmer. In fact, in 2020, I took swimming lessons with the specific intent to someday be able to do a tri. Unfortunately, it only convinced me I am just not cut out to be a swimmer.
• I also don't have any tri "gear." And I don't really even know if I need it, because I've never actually been to a tri! I don't know what all is involved, how "official" it has to be, and whatnot. Oof. I know I would at least need to get a bicycle helmet.
  
• I do think getting a wet suit would help me be more comfortable with swimming (I did not know the neoprene helps with flotation), but they ain't cheap, and finding a good used one in these parts may be a challenge in itself.
• The biggest reason, though, is I am almost halfway into my marathon training plan... and that's no small thing for me. I don't know that I need the added pressure of working on my swimming as well as running, or the added stress of worrying about how cold the water will be (it's an open-water swim in May), or the added distraction of trying to find the right gear and learn the ins-and-outs of a tri and all that.

I think what it comes down to is... I intend to run a marathon this Spring. It may or may not be my only one this year (I'm currently thinking I'll do the April marathon and then focus on half marathons the remainder of the year), but regardless, running a marathon (and training for one) is a LOT. At least for me it is. Sure, maybe someday I can add in a tri - maybe even later this summer! - but not right now.

There. Thanks for letting me work through that in my head...

Currently I am focused on a Spring marathon (I still haven't signed up for one, but that's just a detail). Swimming, wet suits, triathlons and such... maybe some other time.

Five things friday

Hey there, ho there. I gotta get a grip on these Fridays. They've been way too busy lately, and next week may be worse!

1. I managed to get my 14-mile run in this morning. I can't say that I enjoyed the run, per se, but I did enjoy the 2 1/2 hours of outdoor alone time to think and take in the beauty of creation. Although, I think my hydration pack may be done for. It seems to be leaking, and I don't really need anything making me even wetter (than sweat). So I took the bladder out and put my 32oz water bottle in it, then carried my 12oz bottle and filled as needed. That worked.
2. Far be it from me to ever offer financial advice. I don't have much of a grasp of money, or much of it. However, we did go back to the bank today and finalized putting the bulk of our investments in a much more safe/stable situation for the time being. The world is just a bit too crazy for me right now.
3. And speaking of books... I ordered a couple new ones this week: The Subtle Art of Resistance: Lessons From Cats For Surviving Fascism, and Running Until You're 100: A Guide to Lifelong Running. I'm looking forward to them for a bit of a change of pace.
4. I worked a concert last night and we're both working another tonight. The venue where we volunteer is having a Thursday night "battle of the bands" type thing. The first one was fun. It's a younger crowd than we normally get, and a different genre of music. Not that I don't like the old folks who usually come and listen to the blues, but different is good sometimes. Although, I wish they'd let me, or listen to me, about setting up for these shows. I tried to tell them they didn't need as many seats. Last night people wanted to mingle and move about, you know, because they're young! We still had it set up for the 60-80 year-old crowd. Whatever.
5. "God gives us work -- not to further our ambition or feather our nest but to deepen creation and sanctify society." - Eugene Peterson (Where Your Treasure Is, 139)

Well, you know what to do... (right?). I'ma gonna take a nap, and continue to avoid the growing list of unread emails in my box. Peace!

Patrick Lencioni's Five Dysfunctions of A Team from this post.

Why trump so gets under my skin

There have been presidents (and others) whom I have disagreed with, not liked, not thought capable or good at their job, etc. But none of them rankled my rump the way Trump ... does. 

I was recently doing a centering prayer exercise - where I spend 10 minutes simply sitting quietly before God. I'd just read Romans 3:9-18, which is a collection of Psalms and prophetic words, and I felt like God opened my eyes to just why DJT makes my blood boil so...

He reminds me of the worst of who I am.

If I am honest there are times when I want to be rich, powerful, the center of attention; times I want to appear smart, connected, and be able to boss others around; times I am brash, crude, rude, deceitful, dishonest, and vain. There are shameful times I've wanted to say someone or something is "retarded" or call someone a "faggot." I know these versions of myself all to well... and I don't particularly care for myself when I realize it.

However, there are also times - quiet moments of silent prayer, or while laying in bed late at night - where deep, deep down in my heart I know that I do NOT want to be like that. I want to care, to love, to help anyone and everyone; I want to cry (and often do) because of other people's pain and heartache; to tenderly reach out and soothe the suffering of another; and... there are times when I, too, am one of these people who hurts, suffers, hopes to no end for the chance to be forgiven (again), shown grace and mercy (again), and loved in spite of my despicable self. 

There is a battle within me that sways between this "trumpish" way, and the faithful loving ways of Jesus... and I so want the latter to win out.

I actually do pray for the president, and his family. I pray that they may someday come to know the Jesus I know. Yet, I am in need of prayer myself... that I may get over this loathing I have for someone just as much in need as me.

Romans 3:9-20 (The Message) 

So where does that put us? Do we Jews get a better break than the others? Not really. Basically, all of us, whether insiders or outsiders, start out in identical conditions, which is to say that we all start out as sinners. Scripture leaves no doubt about it:

There’s nobody living right, not even one,
    nobody who knows the score, nobody alert for God.
They’ve all taken the wrong turn;
    they’ve all wandered down blind alleys.
No one’s living right;
    I can’t find a single one.
Their throats are gaping graves,
    their tongues slick as mudslides.
Every word they speak is tinged with poison.
    They open their mouths and pollute the air.
They race for the honor of sinner-of-the-year,
    litter the land with heartbreak and ruin,
Don’t know the first thing about living with others.
    They never give God the time of day.

This makes it clear, doesn’t it, that whatever is written in these Scriptures is not what God says about others but to us to whom these Scriptures were addressed in the first place! And it’s clear enough, isn’t it, that we’re sinners, every one of us, in the same sinking boat with everybody else? Our involvement with God’s revelation doesn’t put us right with God. What it does is force us to face our complicity in everyone else’s sin.