Gunshy

My dad has always had hunting dogs. He used to train them to be around guns. Because you didn't want a hunting dog who was afraid of guns, or it wouldn't be any good.

I have been feeling a little gunshy lately. I hope it doesn't mean I'm not any good. I just don't know what to say anymore. You know, like, I'm just not sure about a lot of things. Not that I don't believe in anything; not that I necessarily disagree with anything; and I don't think it's because I don't care. I just don't know what to say.

I read this morning about a new religion called "Universism." Their sole dogma is uncertainty. The headline says, "Doubt is Their Co-Pilot." They might believe in God, they might not. The only thing they accept is uncertainty.

That's kind of how I feel. But I don't want to. Because I think that is basically a copout. It's a refusal to take a stand. It's giving in. It's irresponsible. It's too safe!

And maybe safety is the issue. Following Jesus is not safe. Not at all. It's downright dangerous. And the truth is... a lot of people stray from Christianity because of that fact. I think a lot of people are looking for a religion that is completely safe. One where no one will ever disagree with them; one where no one can ever say they're wrong, or that they need help or guidance. You always have an out.

I've been thinking a lot lately about some discussions on whether Jesus and Christianity are both ways to heaven. I think the question is: Can you get to heaven by following Jesus, without necessarily following Christianity? I think that thought appeals to a lot of people because there are a lot of Christians who have done some terribly stupid things (myself included). The "safe" thing is to try to dissassociate from those people... say, "Well, I just follow Jesus, I don't want anything to do with the rest of them."

But I think when you do that... you're not following Jesus anymore. I don't think you can seperate Jesus and Christianity - even the parts you don't like about it.

Yes, I understand there is an "institutional" side of Christianity, and I don't care much for that. But I think that's a part of the whole "community" thing. It's not just "can I follow Jesus." It's "can WE follow Jesus." Can I follow him with you and you and you; and can I help you, and forgive you, and turn the other cheek, and will you do the same for me and stuff like that.

Following Jesus (being a Christian, or Christ-follower, if you will) is messy. It's hard. It's dirty. It's humbling, above all. And I think it means that sometimes you will get gunshy. Not because you don't care, but because there will be times when your feelings will get hurt; times when you've stuck your neck out and it gets trampled on; times when you've bet the house and lost.

And healing needs to take place. And it will. It may take time. It will be humbling. But it will be good.

Visited my friend Ken last night at the hospital in Indy. He'd had a rough day the day before. I just sat and listened to him talk last night. AFterward he was like a different person. He thanked me over and over. And all I did was listen. Thank You, Lord, for speaking to him. Thanks for listening to me.

peace