Last night Jane and I went to a high school basketball game. It was between the two high schools that our kids went to (we wouldn't want them to go to the same schools, you know). It was a REALLY boring game. The main offensive weapon my son's old school uses is to hold the ball until someone guards them. One game last year a player just stood and held the ball for all but like 6 seconds of the second quarter. Yeah... like I wanna pay money to see that!
Anyway, it really isn't even about the game. I mean, I like basketball and all, but the point of my post is... attending things like this is 'social exercise' for me. See, I tend to be an introvert. It's not that I don't like people or that I'm anti-social, but I am timid and insecure. So my natural inclination is to be isolated, or only spend time with "safe" people for me. And if I've learned anything in my 44 years, it's that this is not a healthy way of life. It leads to greater insecurity, depression, and invokes thoughts and feelings that are not even remotely real or true. So... I try to make a practice of FORCING myself into social situations... if for no other reason than my own mental health.
On my day off (Friday) I will often go to one of the malls, or the bookstore, or someplace like Walmart - just to be around people. And it's strange how nervous that makes me. But I HAVE to do it. And for as nervous as I am when I take off... I am almost always glad I did it when I'm done. Even those times when I don't speak to a soul - at least I v-e-n-t-u-r-e-d.
But even that really isn't enough. It's not the same to sneak into public areas and merely "be there." I really need to interject myself into some people's lives. You know, like, PERSONALLY. It's odd how it's so much easier for me to stand in front of large groups of people and speak and share and I hardly get nervous at all; but you put me one on one with somebody and... I don't know what to do.
But I will. That's going to be one of my New Year's resolutions (if I made them). I need to start forcing the personal card now. I am kind of in the 'people' business after all. But if this post is suddenly deleted... well, you know... we'll see.
Peace, friends. There's a revolution at hand.
10 comments:
At my last Christmas party, we had a couple of girls who are very soft-spoken and I'd call them shy. Well, we filled them with alcohol and tossed them the electronic "Catch Phrase" disk. That game is therapeautic, I think, because you've got a whole crowd of people trying to figure out what you're trying to convey to them in a round-about way. For example, one of the girls nailed one when she looked at the display, pointed at my sleeping canine and said "THAT, and 24 Hours" and someone pounced on it right away, "DOG DAYS!" The game beeps like a hot potato, after you get someone to guess what you're trying to tell them, you hand it to the next person. The beeping gets faster until it buzzes and whoever is holding it at that point has to take a jello-shot (okay, these are NOT the official rules). The Jell-o shots I made were terrible, but high octane, so there was a delayed reward for having to shoot one. The losers would have argued that they didn't lose at all. The point is, these girls were having a GREAT time, and it's hard to say whether it was the positive reinforcement of people connecting with them to figure out what they were saying, or the alcohol, but in this case I would say the ends justified the means. Haha... this reminds me of the time we were playing the original (not electronic) Catch Phrase and my friend Tim got put on a team of girls who all knew each other. The girl would read the card and then give a clue like "OH! Remember that time we were at the mall and I was looking at this top and..." Tim had had enough of that, "I don't KNOW YOU!!!" Haha... anyway, you want an ice breaker...electronic Catch Phrase. And alcohol. My family, none of which whom are shy, will be yelling at each other quite a bit on Christmas, I just hope I can stop them from throwing the game...it's very tempting.
Better to throw the game than the alcohol, I always say. :)
Moving (back) to a small town was a big deal for me. I'd forgotten how to say "hi" to absolutely everyone I met on the street. The first four years were really tough, but now I'm so deep in the habit, I find myself doing it when I visit the city, too. Does that qualify me as "country folk" yet?
WP,
Perhaps country 'folk', but not yet 'bumpkin.'
Hmmm... so now I'm thinking of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry doesn't want to kiss everyone hello and they draw silly faces on his picture in the lobby. [trying to make silly faces on the keyboard].
You know you're in a small town when they actually say "Howdy... Stranger."
Perhaps you are better at one on one then you believe. I have always thought you have a tremendous way with people.
Dare I say it is nothing more than a sliver of second-guessing?
And I should probably reiterate, because I'm on vacation and have time to reiterate... my last comment sounded a lot like "stay drunk" but I should also point out that I have never noticed the nervousness of which you speak. Althooooouuuugh... now that you mention it I've noticed you don't speak when Jane is drinking water.
Anonymous,
Thanks for your thoughts. If you read my earlier response, I wasn't trying to 'set you straight'... just trying to explain myself. Which isn't really necessary. I do appreciate the comment (though I still hate slivers). Thanks. :)
dh
Long ago I learned how to read what you were saying without trying to read INTO it.
I am Anonymous by the way, which I had to use because I forgot my google account info. (turns red) Too many passwords and accounts to keep up with.
Post a Comment