Cancelling Church

I called off church today. I'm sure we could have had it - it's 43 degrees and pretty darn nice out right now. There was more slush than anything this morning though, and it was probably best to have people off the roads so they could clear them. It was kinda slick too.

I probably should have felt worse about cancelling than I did. I wanted to do it last night even. It's not that I don't like getting together on Sunday mornings. In fact, I have always REALLY liked it. But if I'm perfectly honest, sometimes it just gets to be such a drain when I feel like I have to play "cheerleader", or I feel like nobody else wants to be there. I've been feeling a bit drained lately. It didn't help that I had several people tell me Saturday that they were already planning to not come Sunday - because of the "big storm." Sometimes it seems like nobody would come at all if it didn't make them feel guilty when they saw me. Argh. And... I try to have studies and things that I think would interest people, or do things I think would be beneficial. And it's like pulling teeth. I hate that feeling. It's even worse when I say, "Okay, I'll ask what other people want to do." And guess what? Nothing! Nobody says a damn thing. Unless it's to suggest something I just got done doing which they didn't participate in. So I guess the alternative is to do nothing, but then I feel like even more of a failure. This community-building; disciple-making stuff is just a real drag sometimes. It's not that I don't like it, but, yes, there are times that I do not. I'm just not a good motivator, and it really zaps me when I have to try. And I don't think people understand how much offering "just a little bit" would help. But...... ahg... I'm tired of thinking about it.

So, I was actually more than happy to cancel church today. Sorry if that rocks your world. I think everybody hates going to work sometimes. And I can't change the fact that this is my work. So, it was probably better for everybody. Besides, it's not like the church "is" the Sunday worship gathering. That was even in my sermon I had prepared for today.

Jane and I went to my good friend Tom's church - the Zanesville United Brethren. It was nice. Funny how much I can enjoy just 'attending' church sometimes. They have a real comfortable arrangement, and we knew a lot of the people. Tom even preached a good sermon - though I'm not sure about that high-fivin' bit. :) (Tom had everybody high-five a couple people and say, "the best part's coming" right before his sermon).

This afternoon we are going to see Chris Tomlin and Matt Redmon. I'm a little leery, but hopeful. I pretty much got burned out on any kind of christian concerts years ago. But I like the music of both these guys - undoubtedly two of the premier worship music writers of our time. We sing a lot of their stuff. In fact, we were going to do stuff by both of them this morning. So I'm hoping it will be more of a simple worship-style affair than a concert. I don't want the "superficial alter call and compassion child guilt trip" as my daughter would say. It really does get old after awhile.

Well, now that you're wondering if I am even a Christian, and thinking I definately shouldn't be a pastor... it's time to sign off. Until later...

Peace in; peace out.