Responsibility

What does it mean to take responsibility?

This morning I was washing off the vinyl siding with Krud Kutter, and I recalled a conversation Jane and I had awhile back. I was reminded of it because cleaning the siding was something I didn't have to worry about when I first moved here. There was a gentleman in our church that took it upon himself to see to it that things like that got done. He was always on the lookout for things that needed fixing, trimming, replacing, or dealt with. And either he took care of it, or he found someone who could take care of it. It was nice having him around.

A problem that we seem to have now is... I have people who accuse me of trying to do everything myself. In fact, someone has even suggested that I do everything myself just to have an excuse to bitch about people not doing anything. I don't think that's true, because at the same time I feel like all I do is emphasize over and over the need for people to "take more responsibility themselves." What I usually hear is, "Well, if you would tell us what to do we would do it." Which I'm sure they would in most cases.

The problem though (I think) is that we have two different ideas of what it means to "take responsibility." To some people it means completing a list of tasks that someone has given them. They are responsible when they've done everything they were told. But to others, taking responsibility is coming up with the list of tasks without having to be told. That's what the gentleman I referred to earlier was so good at - he didn't need anyone to *tell* him what to do; he was always busy *seeing* what needed done. And this is what I generally mean when I say "taking responsibility." What likely frustrates others is that they think they ARE being responsible, because they do whatever it is they are asked to do. The problem is we're operating with differing opinions of what it means. I don't know that one is right and one is wrong - they're just different.

It has certainly helped me to come to this realization. It doesn't really help my frustration though. See, what I struggle with is, people are always asking me what they can do. And I just don't know. I barely know what I'm supposed to be doing most of the time. What I would like is for people to begin using their heads as much as their hands - so they don't always need to *ask* what needs done, but they can see for themselves.

One thing that might also contribute to this problem is that a lot of people see me as the "boss" in the church, and they are the underlings. So whenever anyone does anything, they believe they're doing it for me. And that when I ask for help, it's because I can't do "my" job myself. But the way I see it... there are all kinds of jobs in the church, and being pastor is just one of them. So when I say there are things that need done, I'm not necessarily saying "I" need help doing "my" job; but, in fact, I'm really saying others maybe need to step forward and do "their" job.

But... maybe I have it all wrong and I'm just trying to shirk my responsibilities as a pastor.

ADDED LATER: Of course I'm not talking about everyone in my church, or in any church for that matter. I'm just saying - there are *some*, and I, personally, wish I had some more people willing to help *make up the list* rather than just *do the list.*