This is one of the things that's been weighing on my mind lately. I probably won't go into great detail, but... it bothers me. "Pedestal Personalities" is apparently a term some people use to describe pastors. Hrmpf.
I saw it on another person's blog. And I don't think they meant any harm. They seem to be a very kind and reasonable person. In fact, they were quoting from an article I had actually read myself, but I failed to notice it the first time through.
Pedestal personalities.
I don't know. I don't usually feel like that describes me. Not when I think about standing on my tiptoes on a ladder adhering plastic over our sanctuary windows. Not when I recall the time I had to clean shit off the floor and walls of the bathroom during VBS. Not when I think about having an 80-some year old man sobbing on my shoulder because his family put him in a nursing home against his will. Not when I... Oh, never mind.
You know, maybe what irritates me the most is that I wonder if it's true myself.
I went to church when I was a child. I was friends with the preacher's kids. Once they moved away, and I got into middle school - I don't ever remember going. Not until after I'd gotten married and we had kids. Then I started going on Sunday mornings with Jane - to the church she grew up attending. I was 26 years old when I finally figured out that I did not control life; that there was, in fact, a God; and that Jesus could make a difference in my life. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was in the parking lot of
My life changed. What was important to me changed. What I thought about changed. I saw things from a different perspective. I got involved in church. Pretty soon I was in a discipleship class. Later I taught a middle school Sunday School class; I taught adult classes; led home Bible Studies; served on the church council; became a deacon; did this, did that, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Eventually I had visions of starting a "different" sort of church - for people who were a little "different" like me. I got a seminary degree. Worked in a couple of churches. Now I am a full-time pastor.
I cringed when I saw it: pedestal personality. I can't stop thinking about it. Is that what I am? It's a very derogatory term. I don't like it. I resent it. I hate it. I don't know what to do about it.
I am debating whether to leave comments on or not. I don't need "cheered up." It's not about that. I'm just... I dunno.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Pedestal personalities
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11 comments:
chk! CHK! PUH! PUH! PUH! CH! CH! CH! PORK! CHOP! ...is this thing on?
I'm sure that's a term that SOME people use to describe SOME pastors, but it's a world away from here. Don't worry, if you start thinking you're all that I'll be like... "remember that day your parents peeled out of the church parking lot?" That'll take you down a peg.
Why does it have to be how YOU think? Sometimes t's the people in the church that admire their pastor enough to place them on a pedestal. It their minds their pastor has a pedestal perosality. He/she deserves to be placed up there.
I agree with MR. I've never met you, probably never will, BUT - you come across as a servant (and I mean that in a Good Way :o). Worry not - there are pedestal personalities in ministry (seen 'em, been "led" by 'em, have the scars), but you don't strike me as that. If you were, I doubt you'd be mowing the churchyard. :o)
SO...this is not get you "cheered up". You said you don't need it, and I trust your assessment. Instead, this is a friendly karmic slap upside yo' head. If the person had been writing about a male, or a white male, or an Indianian, or whatever, in the same frame of mind you coulda taken offense. Fuggidaboudit.
Peace.
Jim
Some people don't like leaders. Anyone who stands up against the crowd and says, "There is something more to life" must be shouted down. I see it everywhere, especially in high schools. "Who do you think you are having an idea that we should be anything than what we want to be? Get off your high horse!"
You could say the same about teachers. They just want to be the center of attention. I suppose you see that once in a while, but c'mon?! They just get a kick out of seeing the kid learn something they didn't know before.
Most of us pastors do need to remember that if everything is about Sunday than we are missing the point. I heard a pastor say once, "It's all about Sunday..." I think he added "Stupid" to the end of the sentence. He might have been as close to a pedestal pastor that I've seen.
I've been too sensitive about what people think. In the last year, through some hard things, I seemed to have stopped being so bothered. It is rather freeing.
I heard someone say once that politicians, educators, and pastors are the three groups who resist accountability the most and for the most part I think that is true. I think this goes hand in hand with what you're talking about.
I just read a thread on a church media forum from a guy who is afraid he is about to be fired due to a feedback problem that has cropped up with the pastor's lapel mic. I went to the churches website and read the pastor's bio. It was amazing how genuine he sounded but knowing a little more gave me the feeling that he had put himself on a pedestal.
It is easy to say "that's not me" but I think we need to be careful that we don't think it can't happen to us. If you really want to know how you stack up, ask Jane. My guess is she'll let you know.
Also Dan, while you're in that frame of mind, you should consider whether you're Batman. As a matter of fact I think we should all stop and ask ourselves occassionally "am I Batman?" Because, quite frankly, the question of whether Dan is humble enough is more preposterous.
Yeah... I still don't know what bothers me the most about this. I know some pastors are at fault; I know some non-pastors are at fault; and I don't know that that's even the issue for me. Part of me gets real irritated by all the supposed "Christian" blogs that don't like how church is - and honestly, they seem to insinuate it's all the fault of church leaders. It seems pretty easy to take pot shots when you're not a part of it. But the other part of me wonders if many church leaders aren't unknowingly a part of the problem - which is what I worry about myself. I mean, in my mind I don't "think" I'm that way, but then when I lay everything out there, am I really laying out the reality anymore than someone who thinks church is only about Sunday? We all have a way we see things, and maybe it's everybody's fault. But... I don't think the solution is to just try to topple pastors off of a pedestal (if they are even on one).
Basically I am tired of the whole "church deconstruction process." And I don't know that people shouldn't be doing it, but it wears me out; it brings me down; and I don't know that it's something for me. I think what I need to do is limit the number of blogs I read. Sometimes it's just too hurtful to be helpful. But then there's the danger of resisting accountability, like Tom said. So... I dunno. I appreciated the thoughts on this.
MR... Batman didn't drive a Torino though. Maybe he is Starsky or Hutch. Wasn't that car a Torino?
Dan,
Your post has, dare I say, "haunted me" since I first read it. Let's see if I can respond without sticking both feet in my mouth.
The subject you've raised is one of the things that I hate about this conversation. While many of us, myself included, swing the sledgehammers of deconstruction, sincere individuals, like you, are made to feel invalidated in their ministry and calling.
Yet, I think that there are guys like you who wouldn't hang around the conversation if you didn't share the same sense that things in the church must/will change.
I agree that it isn't fair to simply place the blame on the leader. In fact, passivity among the "laity" is probably a bigger and more entrenched problem. This usually becomes obvious to leaders who attempt to empower and involve members to a greater degree.
The reality is that there is a real shift toward more participatory styles of gathering. It will be leaders like yourself who will be able to make the change because you don't need the spotlight. In spite of that, change will be difficult because you will find yourself confronted with congregants who prefer their passive role.
For your own peace of mind when reading stuff like this, I would suggest that you remember that the changes in the church will be both within traditional systems and outside of existing church systems.
Those who end up outside of existing models of church may completely do away with the role of a central leader. However, there will be many existing churches needing a pastor/leader to lead them in change.
Obviously, that is where God has placed you at this time, and I have no doubt that He will equip and lead you in all that He has called you to do.
All that to say, just cuz someone is talking about pastors, they aren't necessarily talking about you. Not that I'm trying to cheer you up. ;)
my sister just throws shoes at me.
Grace,
Well said; and I know you are right. You don't need to feel "haunted" by this. I have been told more times than I care to remember that I am overly sensitive to a fault. Thanks for sharing.
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