Soul-weak and iworship

This past Sunday we used an iworship dvd for our morning gathering. I don't think we've used one before for the congregational singing time. I had just purchased the 'Calls to Worship' dvd, because it was on sale for $4.99 at christianbook.com. I like how you can put the words at the top or bottom of the screen; you can also adjust the song tracks; and I love how they have 3-song sets grouped together by theme. We used the middle set consisting of: "All Hail the Power of Jesus Name," "Open the Eyes of My Heart," and "Thank You Lord." There are 7 total songs on this dvd, and 3 sets of 3 themed groupings.

I really don't know how anyone else felt about using this. I didn't ask anyone because... it's kind of hard for me to get feedback. There are only a few people who seem to understand the concept of being aware of others, and I hate always putting them on the spot. I'm sure having a worship band is the best; and the dvd probably would be better even having someone leading the singing. I just played the dvd, with no song leader. I'm sure it would also have been better if we were more familiar with all the songs. But it sure was nice not having to be up front for a change.

I'm actually thinking of using it again this Sunday. Maybe even using the same 3 songs. Last week I did it because the drummer and one singer weren't able to be there. And, to be honest, I'm feeling a bit soul-weak at the moment. I'm in one of those funks where it's difficult to get up in front of everyone and do both the preaching and singing parts. I'm sure it's just temporary, but... there are some things you can force yourself to do when you're soul-weak, and there are some that you can't. Leading worship is very difficult. For those who have never done it I doubt that they can understand. For some reason some people think it's easier for me to stand up front than it is for them. Last Sunday I just played and sang on the closing song, and I didn't think I was going to get through that. I was ready to quit and walk out about halfway through it.

So, I don't know. I don't see using these iworship dvd's all the time. And this could be a temporary thing that I come out of tomorrow. But I really wish we had a different worship leader/guitarist. Preaching AND leading worship is getting to be a bit much. I have no one to blame but myself, and I'm sure I am the only one holding anyone else back from doing it. That seems to be a recurring problem we have. So maybe it's time for an even bigger change. I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud. I did appreciate being able to just stand and sing with everyone else for a change last week. I think my wife appreciated not having to play the piano too (like she does for every other service we have). Maybe someday we might even be able to stand beside one another and worship together.