Yesterday I set out to beat my fastest mile and 5k times. I jogged down Lower Huntington and didn't start my watch until I got on the Rivergreenway - I didn't want to have to wait on cars or count the climb down the side of the bridge in my time - I wanted a truer time than a couple of weeks ago when I ran a 7:53 and a 24:45.
Well... I actually did run a faster mile. But not by much. I ran it in 7:32; and I was pretty disappointed. I was also just about dead when I passed the mile mark. I kept going though, trying to beat my 5k time, but I couldn't even come close. It was like I'd never even run before. I was out of breath and just couldn't get going. I couldn't even make it to 4 miles. I stopped running at 3.1 and walked a ways, then I tried running some more, but I just wasn't into it. That kind of sums up life lately.
I ran better today. I ran towards Foster and did 5+ in an ok time. But yesterday took a lot out of me mentally/emotionally. It was a really long day.
I had been enjoying running, because it was one area of my life where I didn't feel like a failure. Now I'm starting to have my doubts there too.