Romans 7:15 says, " I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."
That's the story of my life these days. I used to live a very disciplined life. A majority of my time was spent praying, reading, studying, writing, playing guitar, running, and working out. Now I don't do any of those things. Mostly I just go to work, come home, and kind of wander through the evening until the next day.
I want to do the things I used to do.... it's just hard once you stop. And for some reason I have very little self-discipline. I would at least like to start running, writing, and playing guitar again. However, just wanting to do something and actually doing it are not the same thing.
I guess this is just where I am in life right now. I don't know if it's better to try to force something that's not there, or whether to just cut myself some slack and hope that one day I can change. Again.