I was hoping to write something every day. It's been a chore I've not kept up with very well so far.
Anyway, something I've been thinking about for awhile now is... crying. I actually didn't realize 'No More Tears' was an Ozzie Osborne album - which isn't what this is about. It's also not about Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes."
The thing is... I don't seem to cry anymore. I used to do so regularly - especially when I was pastoring. Times of prayer would often result in tears; or heart-to-hearts with friends and/or acquaintances. Even church meetings and conversations about how to care for one another better. But now... I don't even remember the last time I cried.
Certainly my day to day life was different working in self-storage than it used to be. I don't think it's just because I've become too 'busy' though. My fear is I've lost a heart for the things of God. For instance, the flooding in Texas. I really have no thoughts or feelings on the subject whatsoever. Tragic scenes have no effect.
Another thing is simply not having - or taking - the time to ponder the things of life deeply. I miss intimate moments in prayer, and hours spent empathizing with and for lost and hurting souls. It's like, not only is there a disconnect from God and others, but from my own inner self too. My mind is too far from my heart.
I'm not saying I want to become a cry-baby, but I do desire a deepening within; a better connection to my soul; to the place of emotions and compassion; and also to God. That's what I've been thinking about, and what I want back.
Peace out; and in.