Working patience

"Whoever is patient has great understanding,
but one who is quick-tempered displays folly."

~ Proverbs 14:29

Sometimes the bible is so annoying. Like we really need someone to point out our flaws... Well, okay, so maybe it's not the bible that's annoying...

I've been thinking about patience lately. What with working a new job, and a part-time job at that, I'm struggling with discouragement and frustration. But one day it hit me that maybe it's actually a patience problem. I want my life to be just how I want it, when I want it, and I want it now!

The disconnect for most human sapiens is between our expectations and our reality. The reality for me is, I'm a soon-to-be 55 year old who's sort of wandering about trying to figure something out that should have been done long ago. I can't seem to stay focused, motivated, or content with much of anything anymore. This mid-life crisis has turned into a disaster.

Or maybe it's like this for everybody in their fifties. I've said before how it doesn't seem much good in life happens to people in their fifties, but you do hear about people doing significant things in their sixties and seventies. I have a hard time believing I am any kind of normal though.

So I'm working this part-time job at the YMCA. I actually don't dislike the job, even though it's only twelve hours a week, I've been given no responsibility, and nothing much is expected of me other than to have the building open, coffee made, and towels available. Would I like more? Why, yes; yes I would. But I get it. I'm an old man in a young person's world, plus I'm just not overly outgoing.

You know what the worst part of my day is? It's when I get OFF work. Because I don't know what to do then. My regular schedule is to work three days a week from 5-9 am. That leaves a lot of day. Fortunately I've been able to pick up extra hours and work every day so far, but that's going to change in November.

My wife went through this same thing when she started at the Y, and it paid off in the end. She put in her time and eventually got a better job within the organization. I'm trying to take that approach too, but we all know I'm not like my wife. She is patient and has great understanding. Me... not so much.

I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to have ideas, and I see things that could stand a little tweaking. This is what worries me. I think that's part of what did me in at my last job. People don't really like new ideas. And I'm not so sure people really like me all that much. So I'm trying to keep my mouth shut.

I suppose if I'm not going to get very many hours I might as well start taking some classes at the Y. I intend to start this week. I would actually be interested in more of a 'wellness' position than a 'membership' position. But that's going to take time because I don't have the necessary skills. Actually, that's kind of the essence of this entire post: I lack the necessary skills... to do much of anything.

So I wait. As the late Tom Petty so delicately stated, "The waiting is the hardest part." I suppose especially if you have no idea what you're even waiting for...

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

~Romans 8:25

"Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him"

~ Psalm 37:7