Off beat

If you have ever played with a band, or even heard a band, you know how discombobulating it is to have someone be off beat. It throws everything out of balance and makes for much unpleasantness all around.

That's how I have felt lately. I've been tired, grumpy, dis-interested and downright depressed even. At first I thought maybe it was a seasonal thing - you know, what with summer coming to an end and the impending midwest fall into winter. But I don't know if that's it.

As I lay wide awake in bed last night, it occurred to me that perhaps my problem is beat-related. My work schedule is so random and disordered that I can't get in a rhythm. For someone so dependent on order and discipline, my schedule is not only off beat, but I am completely out of tune as well!

I have no one to blame but myself though. Each month when we are asked to turn in our availability at work, in an effort to get as many hours as I can, I usually say I can work anytime between 5 am and 8 pm (with the exception of when I may have another obligation). So I end up having to work hours that are all over the place. Every month is different, and every week is different as well - not only in the days of the week I work, but the hours each day. It's hard to keep track of, and harder still on my physical and emotional health.

I do not understand how scheduling works at the Y. We have a new guy that just got hired to work the 5-8 pm shift a couple days per week. The only thing is, he can't be here until 5:30. So whoever works before him is supposed to adjust their schedule! Another person has so many different jobs that she can only work 3 hours per week. The rest of us are supposed to make adjustments so she can be here when it's convenient for her. Yet there are several of us who are constantly asking for more hours - and most of us who actually do CARE about the type of work we're supposed to be doing at the Y - and we seemingly just get the leftover's of the schedule because of the people who have greater commitments elsewhere. It doesn't make sense to me.

If I were bolder I would simply ask to work more of a set schedule. Something like 5am-noon Monday through Friday; or 5am-1pm Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Thirty Two hours is probably about as many as I can work on a regular basis, but I do have the flexibility to do some of it as Membership and some Wellness. Now that it's written down, it doesn't look all that unreasonable of a request. I'd think it would make sense to have the same people working at the same times - but apparently that's never been a concern for... anyone.

My only other alternative is to start/continue looking for another job. I really like my day-to-day job here though, but as is the case with most places: people don't quit jobs, they quit managers. And it's not that I don't like my boss... there just need to be some changes for my own personal mental health. So, we will see.