Here is the world

I am sitting at work on this crawling fall Wednesday morning. It has been unusually slow from the time I opened at 5 am. So I began to wonder what I might write about now that I'm done with this marathon and I've finished my last book.

I have started another book: Reggie McNeal's 'Get Off Your Donkey!'. I'm not sure when or how I even acquired this read from 2013 but it's been on the shelf for probably that long. I'm not too far into it yet, but as I was submerged in p. 51, a local politician came in for her personal training workout and she asked what I was reading. I told her; she said, "I like it!"; and then my mind began to wander.

I sit at a desk in a chair where my feet dangle halfway to the ground and I look out a wall of windows in the heart of downtown Fort Wayne. I really do like this space. It's more of a "micro" YMCA - we have no pool or gymnasium, and you have to be at least 15 years old to enter. It's actually more of a company workout facility in that it's housed in a 9-floor office building, but any Y member can use it. So I began to look around at the people who were here at the time.

• The 'politician' - who is actually only running for congress, and whom her opponent advertises as "too liberal for Indiana" - comes in and works out here maybe a couple times a week. She is super nice and very perky. I would never take her for a politician in that she seems to defy all the stereotypes I've ever had about them.
• Her 'personal trainer' is a guy who works for the Y, as well as several other "gigs" (server, meditation instructor, etc.). He's one of those free-spirit types who kind of marches to the beat of his own drum. I like him.
• The guy on the elliptical is manager of the public access station operating out of the downtown library. He recently lost a bunch of weight and is now able to fit into the same size pants he wore when he got married several decades ago.
• There is also a guy sitting on the couch charging his phone who currently resides at the rescue mission. He comes in just about every day for coffee and a chance to just sit in peace and quiet. Very nice gentleman who also doesn't fit the stereotype of a "homeless person."
• Back in the free weights area is a man who recently stepped down from his staff position at a local mega church. He has started coming in every morning the last few weeks, and he works out HARD. He never says much but is always courteous. I'm guessing he has a lot on his mind.
• There's another guy wandering around talking on his bluetooth phone. He comes in and sometimes will get on a treadmill or something, but mostly he drinks coffee and talks business, and it's usually quite loudly. He's either a very important businessman, or he wants people to think he is. He's always preoccupied, and never seems to really do much exercising.
• Last, but certainly not least, is the bike mechanic working in the space across from my desk. Another one of those free-spirits who operates more from the "gig" than convention perspective. He does not own a car and bikes everywhere. His whole life is bikes, and I find him quite interesting to talk with.

And... that's my world on most days. I feel fortunate to work with and among a variety of interesting people, and I like it! I like the conversations... as long as they don't have to go on for too long. I like the blend of people from all walks of life. I actually kind of like being in the hub of things too. However, I think what makes it likable is..... I am not responsible for anyone. I just do my thing by 'being here,' so they can be here too. That's the only expectation placed on me - just to be here. I like that.

It occurred to me somewhere between what I was reading and what I was wondering that that just might be my biggest fear in life: expectations of having to do for others. I do not mind responsibility. I don't want to feel like I need to be responsible to meet someone else's expectations though. I think that probably comes from my time serving as a pastor. I got overwhelmed trying to meet other people's wants and needs. I don't want to go back there.

Anyway, I could be totally off base, but these are the thoughts I was having on this Wednesday morning sitting at my post in the center of the city. I think I'll have some yogurt now...