Seeing the stitches

I have recently begun wallowing in the muck of trying to figure out what I want to do with my life again (when I grow up). It's especially frustrating since I'm on the downward side and still don't have a clue. Yet it's become clear that my present employment is not going to suffice, so I might as well give it another shot, what with some 15-25 years of usefulness left in me (hopefully).

I've been reading Reggie McNeal's book "Get Off Your Donkey," and he shares in it a story I've heard him tell in person and I've also shared on the blog before. It's about Ted Williams, the legendary baseball hitter, and how he was once asked to help coach a rookie who had just arrived from the minors. The rookie was having trouble hitting, and Williams told him to "just watch the stitches." The rookie had no idea what he was talking about. "What stitches," he asked? Williams said to watch the stitches on the baseball as it was coming at him - which way they were rotating would influence how the ball behaved. The young player was like, "You can see the stitches?!?" Williams had no idea most people couldn't actually SEE them on a 95-mile-an-hour fastball coming at them! That was his strength.

Chapter 6 in the book is about helping find one's talents, competencies, and strengths. We're supposed to answer questions like...

• What comes naturally to you? (things you see that others don't notice)
• What interests you?
• What makes you feel like "This is what I was born to do!"?
• What have people or instruments told you that you are good at?
• What can you do almost without effort? What do you learn quickly?
• What might you need to change in order to work more out of your areas of strength?

In Chapter 4 was another insightful question: "When do you feel the smile of God?" This was related to the scene in the movie "Chariots of Fire" where Olympic runner Eric Liddell shares that when he runs he "feels God's pleasure."

These are all great questions, and I totally buy into the 'working from your strengths' mindset. However, I'm one of those people who has a hard time determining what my strengths and talents are. If I am told I do 100 things well and then someone hints that maybe I lack in one area... I become convinced I can't do anything at all well! Ugh. So it's a difficult process to say the least.

Sometimes it's not even that I question my talents and abilities. I actually do know that I possess certain skills. Yet I can't seem to name any of them. So I need to work at this. I also need to get input from others as to what I'm good at.

One thing I've been looking at the past few days is this list of "20 Questions to Improve Your Self-Awareness." I filled it out in pencil about a week ago, and each day I look at it again - sometimes changing the answers; sometimes wondering why I answered how I did; sometimes convinced I simply don't know anything about anything. But I press on. At least until a "time of day when it's appropriate to drink wine." :)

20 Questions to Improve Your Self-Awareness:

1. What am I good at?
2. What am I so-so at?
3. What am I bad at?
4. What makes me tired?
5. What is the most important thing in my life?
6. Who are the most important people in my life?
7. How much sleep do I need?
8. What stresses me out?
9. What relaxes me?
10. What's my definition of success?
11. What type of worker am I?
12. How do I want others to see me?
13. What makes me sad?
14. What makes me happy?
15. What makes me angry?
16. What type of person do I want to be?
17. What type of friend do I want to be?
18. What do I think about myself?
19. What things do I value in life?
20. What makes me afraid?