Words matter

I am scheduled to return to work a week from today. I have to admit, I am a little nervous. My concern isn't with getting the virus. It is... having to deal with the public.

While everyone has to deal with the public to some extent simply as a member of society, working from a 'front desk' is like holding a magnifying glass to what you see. It can be ugly up close! The "public" is a fickle beast. They/we almost always seem to project onto the person out front, even though we know they have little to do with decisions or policies. It's like we think 'this is the person that's here to take my crap!'

The truth is, we 'front desk people' are the low end of the totem pole. The bottom of the food chain. We are not where the buck stops, but where it usually starts. Such is life.

So, I stumbled onto this article "'Would You Be Willing?': Words to Turn A Conversation Around (and Those to Avoid)" and find it quite helpful. I want to drop it hear as much as a reminder for myself as anything. These are some useful words and phrases to be aware of.

As the article says, we've all heard the argument "It's not what you say, it's how you say it." Well, the truth is, sometimes it IS what you say that counts! Words do matter. Correct wording or phrasing can help diffuse difficult situations, settle arguments, change minds, and create better communication in a variety of situations.

I suggest reading the entire article (linked above) for explanations. The point, though, is to be more direct, more honest, and less fake. Here are some suggestions they make...

DO USE:

- Willing: "Would you be willing to...?"
 - Speak (instead of talk): "Can I speak to you about this?", rather than "Can we talk?"

- Sort (instead of help): "Let's see if we can sort this out."

- Some (instead of any): "Is there something else I can do for you today?", rather than "Anything else?" Or... "What do you think about X?", instead of "Any questions?"

- It seems like (in other words... LISTEN, and reflect or respond to what's being said to you): "It seems like you're frustrated with...", or "It seems like what you're saying is..."

- Hello: If someone comes at you with a line of questions or complaints, a simple "hello" can often provide a buffer and allow them to realize you are human.


DO NOT USE:

- Just: Just... stop using the word - especially in writing (I am guilty of this).

- How are you?: don't fake friendly; be polite.

- Yes, but: Everyone knows this means "no." Instead of "yes, but" use "What's needed here?" or "What do you need?"