Running to stand still

As much as I like the U2 song, 'Running To Stand Still' (which is about heroin addiction), I'm actually talking about my road running. Anymore I feel like my running has come to a... standstill.

Sure, I'm still plugging along. Slow as ever. Saturday I ran the farthest I've run continually since the last marathon (last September) - a whopping 5 miles. Ugh. At this time last year I was doing 15-milers, and at a faster clip. The other day I only had to do 3.5 miles and I didn't think I was going to get to 2!

I'm not sure what it is. My legs, feet and ankle are healed up. I've rested and eased back into shape... but I'm feeling pretty sluggish.

Actually, I think I can attribute it to two things: First, I wasn't eating enough. In my efforts to lose weight (which I still need to do), I wasn't eating enough to keep me energized. So I've added a morning egg and some more meat (at least figuratively) to my lunch. Second, though, is simply... everything that's going on in the world! Stress.

There is this pandemic thing, questions about schools reopening, sports, another shutdown, every day the president feels the need to do something to dominate the news cycle, job uncertainty (not only will I have one but will I be able to cope with it)... and the list goes on...

I am tired. I think we're all tired. Of just about everything. In many ways it's almost like we are addicts ourselves. That first line from the song...

And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was
Lying still
Said I gotta do something
About where we're going

Yeah... where are we going? That's a good question. I have no confidence anyone on earth really knows.

However, maybe knowing where we're going isn't the point. This is where I'm reminded of James Clear's emphasis on systems thinking over goals. As he says in this article, "The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game" (from his fantastic book 'Atomic Habits').  THAT is what so many of us need right now... figuring out how to keep going; continue playing. If no one knows what's going to happen, what will we do in the meantime??

For me, as a runner, that's why I'm glad I've made out this half-marathon training program. I will likely do the event virtually, but the greater benefit is the system it instills. On those days I don't feel like running, I still need to keep up with my program. That's how I keep going.

So, that's what I'm holding onto today. Sticking to my routine, my system, and not worrying about how this all turns out.

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." (Proverbs 19:21)