Oy vey. What a week it's been. Not so much because anything bad has happened (yet), but there's lots of internal stuff going on. One good thing though...
MUSIC ON THE MAIN FLOOR
We moved our little radio up from the basement into the upstairs living space. It's not exactly hi-fi sound (nothing but volume control) but in addition to the radio there is a record player, cassette, cd, and digital connection all in one. So we've been listening to music more. Personally, this was something I have needed. It helps occupy my mind and keep me from distractions.
I could still kick myself for giving away our record collection eons ago. When we became 'hard core' Christians we put aside what we considered the "devils music" and only listened to "Christian" music. I think we gave them all to one of Jane's brothers. That's one of my bigger regrets over the years. So we just have a small record collection (although, for some reason we have all of Jane's 45s from when she was in high school). I haven't actually tried a cassette tape. We do have a number of cds still, though some don't work so well, and we are mysteriously missing some too. Anyway, it's better than nothing. And we can always plug our phones into the unit.
MARATHON MISGIVINGS
The main thing occupying my mind this week (and why I haven't posted anything) is the marathon tomorrow. I am always a nervous wreck as these events approach. I convince myself I'll never be able to do it, something will go wrong, or it will turn out to be the worst thing ever.
This year my foot is giving me problems. I had been feeling really good - feet, ankles, knees, legs - until Wednesday. Wouldn't you know it, I took two days off in a row, and just did an easy few miles Wednesday morning, and while my right foot was a little sore when I woke up Wednesday, I could barely walk on it Thursday morning. I don't know if it was the mid-foot arthritis, the tendon, or what, but it hurt worse than it has in a long time. I didn't do anything to it, and it felt fine after the run Sunday, so I'm chalking it up to this is my proverbial "achilles heel" this year. I remember one year my back hurt really bad right before (maybe more than once), and another time it was something else. I am hoping it's just a stress thing and once I start moving it will be fine.
I don't feel near as prepared physically as in past years, so I'm trying to be better prepared in other areas. Today I've been crossing things off my checklist like: lay out my clothes (long sleeve and short sleeve shirt), trim my toenails (worst thing about toe socks), make sure the watch is fully charged, get all my food and gels situated where I can find it, make three jugs of 'Liquid IV' hydration fluid (this is what I will carry with me in my water bottle), and have breakfast and meds set to go for when I get up tomorrow.
My plan for the day tomorrow (though things rarely go as planned for some reason):
- Get up at 5 am and have a bagel, coffee, and ibuprofen (and maybe an egg)
- Head out at 6 am on the 10k with one gel, water bottle, go the Bluffton Road/Foster short route/greenway and back home. Try to maintain no more than 11-minute/mile pace.
- 7:15-ish come home and offload watch, refill water, eat a banana half, get another gel, and within 15 minutes Jane and I will start out on a second time around the same course. This will be her 10k and my first lap of the half marathon. Again try to maintain near 11-minute/miles.
- 8:40-ish return home with Jane and quickly refill water, grab another gel, eat banana half and do the long loop around Foster to finish the half.
- 10-ish finish the half and return home to offload watch, refill water, eat something (raisins, egg, bagel, or... a McD's cheeseburger would be great!) and set out on the 4 mile. Must finish this by 11 am, then complete the final 2.9 miles (to make it a marathon) by noon.
I know this seems like overkill on preparation, and I think it actually would have been easier to go somewhere and just run a marathon. Making so many loops around the same course, and around home, only seems to complicate things. However, I want to do it this way at least this once. I know this is a virtual event that is completely meaningless as far as the rest of the world. So this is MY event. I'm running this fucker for myself. Sure, I got a medal and a shirt and all, and there will be other runners out doing the same thing as me, but I want to do it basically solo. Call it my 'covid marathon' (or pandemic marathon, or quarantine marathon, or whatever).
Yesterday I stood and listened to two people telling me how stupid it was to run these virtual events. They were talking about someone else and had no idea I was doing the same. It made me mad. If anything it served as motivation, even if my foot does hurt. Why would I run a virtual marathon? Well... because I fucking can! At least I hope I can. Why do people climb mountains, take classes, read books, play instruments, or any number of other things? I think largely it's to see if we can. Maybe it's to prove we're still alive. I don't know. And, again, I don't know if I will be able to complete it or not. Doesn't matter. You try anyway.
So, tonight we will eat pasta from Pizza Hut and watch another running movie. I may suggest 'Spirit of the Marathon' or something that we've already watched. I'm also hoping to limit myself to two glasses of wine. I DO NOT want to run another marathon with a hangover. Once was enough!
MISCELLANEOUS MUSINGS
Oh, there's plenty of stuff that's had me feeling everywhere from melancholy to mean. Politics, religion, racial injustice, economics, and more. These are tumultuous times the likes I have never witnessed in my lifetime. I've started scribbling notes here and there and stuffing them in my pocket and work bag, though most of the time my thoughts get drowned out by newer ones. I've really had to limit my social media intake, because my heart can't take much more. So I've been trying to focus on the marathon for now, and maybe then I may need to catch up on some Brother Lawrence stuff or something.
I have been grateful for my friend Jim's updates on his running, as well as the writings of a few others, in trying to keep me sane. It's not been easy, but the struggle may not be all bad for me.
So, until tomorrow, friends! Hopefully I will be able to write again (though it may be a day or four before I do)...
***
"We have such a great cloud of witnesses all around us! What we must do is this: we must put aside each heavy weight, and the sin which gets in the way so easily. We must run the race that lies in front of us, and we must run it patently. We must look ahead, to Jesus. He is the one who carved out the path for faith, and he's the one who brought it to completion. He knew that there was joy spread out and waiting for him. That's why he endured the cross, making light of its shame, and has now taken his seat at the right hand of God's throne. He put up with enormous opposition from sinners. Weigh up in your minds just how severe it was; then you won't find yourselves getting weary and worn out." (Hebrews 12:1-3)
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