I lost my sh*t at work yesterday. Not literally, mind you, but I went berserk on this guy (who had also lost his sh*t). It wasn't as bad as it maybe sounds - there was more of an internal loss of composure - but it left me feeling like a loser nonetheless. He's a moody person, as am I, and our moods were not in sync on this day.
I'm sure this never happens to you, but maybe you know someone... You've (I mean 'they've') had so many bad days in a row, stress is building, nothing seems to go right. We can only take so much, and then... look out! We yell at the kids, kick the cat, scream at some poor unsuspecting soul... Frustration rarely seeps out, it's more an explosion!
How do you feel when this happens? I don't know about you, but I usually feel worse instead of better. Then I want to crawl home with my tail between my legs and hide under the covers for the day.
Well, I'm probably the last person who should be giving advice on this, but I happened across this article the other day on dealing with grief... and it seems like it would work here also (or maybe this is a form of grief?).
Lucy Hone is a resilience expert and she has a TED Talk and article 'Sorrow and Tragedy Will Happen to Us All - Here Are 3 Strategies to Help You Cope.' It's a really good and pretty short read, which I highly recommend you click to.
I want to drop this super-brief summary of the three points here as a reminder for myself.
The following are Lucy's go-to strategies she relies upon and what saved her in her darkest days, and they're readily available to us all.
1. KNOW THAT SUFFERING IS PART OF LIFE
None of us escapes suffering, or even bad days where we lose our temper. We need to realize... it happens. To all of us.
2. CAREFULLY CHOOSE WHERE YOU'RE DIRECTING YOUR ATTENTION
Whether you want to call it 'benefit-finding', 'counting your blessings' or 'hunting the good stuff'... it doesn't matter. Somehow figure out how to focus on the things you can change, and learn to accept the things you cannot.
3. ASK YOURSELF: "IS WHAT I'M DOING HELPING ME OR HARMING ME?"
This is perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind. Always! It can apply to so many situations, and it can be powerfully useful.
Again, I highly recommend the article for explanations of each. They seem pretty simple on the surface, but that doesn't mean they don't work.
So, maybe this is just me trying to convince myself that all is not lost. Whether there's been a tragedy we're trying to deal with, or we simply lose our cool... There is hope, and help.
**Note: I read this article days ago, but today I was reading the biblical text below which, if you know, follows the account of Jesus calming the storm at sea. Storms can be scary, especially when they're inside of us. Jesus might be another 'simple' place to turn.
***
Matthew 8:28-32
When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. “What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?”
Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. The demons begged Jesus, “If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.”
He said to them, “Go!” So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water. [The demons, not the men]
1 comment:
Thanks for this. I have felt defeated in my attempts to be a decent human being lately. All is not lost, I know, but it would be nice to look in the mirror and not be frightened by who is looking back... Thanks for listening to all of my rants.
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