At least I said no (in my dream)

British preacher and radical John Wesley is reported to have wrote in a letter to his sister:

"Money never stays with me. It would burn me if it did. I throw it out of my hands as soon as possible, lest it should find it's way into my heart."

I was having one doozy of a dream this morning. I woke in a sweat and, while I rarely remember dreams, it actually took me a moment to gather myself back to reality. There were people I knew, people I knew of, and some I wanted to know...

I was being asked to join into a venture of some kind (to be included), and it was somehow ministry related. Everyone was hip and cool, and Neil Young sang "the women all were beautiful." They had me watching a choreographed rehearsal of an interview scenario so I would know what questions to ask and how to respond. Then I was sitting by a fire in an open lot with a couple guys. The one was talking about Jim Wilder having driven the getaway car. I was taken aback and remember asking, "Are you associated with the mob?" A guy seeming like Michael W. Smith lit a giant cigar and says, "It's all about monage," as he waves the match out and tosses it aside (Apparently 'monage' is like 'voyage to make money'; making money 'for a cause'). I had just mustered the nerve to say I wasn't interested, when I woke up...

It's interesting that Jim Wilder just announced he was leaving one pastoral position for another (a "good guy" in my book, doing a good thing). I read this on Facebook at about the same time the pastor where our daughter's family goes announced he is leaving pastoral ministry (a move I was not surprised by, because his heart seems elsewhere). My mind has also been seasoned lately with stories on Mark Driscoll, James McDonald, and several other "famous" preachers who have apparently been lured into questionable practices. All for the sake of "ministry," you know.

Well... this is certainly not about me judging anyone. I just gave up. I wasn't even lured away. But I've always wanted to be cool; and I've always wanted to feel included. I wish I could be involved in some kind of ministry too. Evil can take root in many ways.

So, maybe it was just a silly dream. There was, however, an obvious question of integrity in the air. It's one thing to not do the wrong thing. Sometimes the bigger question though... is will we do the right thing???

And somehow while pondering all this at 4-ish this morning I recall thinking about the Matrix, and being able to see below the appearance of reality, and stuff like that. Now, though, apparently there is water on the floor in the women's restroom. So... duty calls. Such is life.

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Matthew 16:13-15

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”