Tomorrow is a long time

Today was a crooked highway...

WRECK

I came up on an accident yesterday. I was heading home from work down the three lanes of Clinton Street just north of Southside High School. I was barely conscious when I heard a loud THUD! Several cars in front of me a car suddenly spun out and everyone slammed on their brakes. The car had run head-on into a concrete barricade and was smashed pretty badly. I would guess maybe half dozen cars just meandered around the wreckage and continued on their way.

Honestly, that's what I wanted to do, but then I remembered, "Dang, I am legally obligated to stop (CPR & First Aid training)." I even still had my Y shirt on.

So I pulled over, went up to the old woman still sitting stunned in her car. I had to pry the door open and ask if she was okay. She was in a bit of shock, so I called 911. I tried talking to the woman, and eventually she threw up. Fortunately some tow-truck guys showed up, and a cop and fire truck were there within 5 minutes. I left soon after and don't know any more than that.

COPS

What struck me most about the above wreck was the cop. Why do cops have to be jerks?! When I called 911 I reported there appeared to be a two-car accident, because apparently a car in front of the wrecked car pulled over too. I found out later that they just stopped to see what happened, but weren't actually involved.

By the time the cop arrived the other car had moseyed on their way. The first thing he says to me is, "Where's the other vehicle?" I said it was just the one. He said it had been reported as a two-car accident and he wanted to know where the other vehicle was. I told him I am who called it in, and I mistakenly thought there were two cars involved, but it was just the one. He then just walked on past me without even acknowledging my presence. First thing he does is go to the back of the car and start getting the license plate information.

He was a total jerk about the whole thing! Again, why do cops have to be like that? And why do they then wonder why so many people don't like them? I started to hate this guy almost immediately and it made me question why I called 911 or stopped to assist in the first place. Fuck the cops! I know they're not all assholes, but almost all of them I know seem to be.

RALPH

After getting home and trying to take a nap (that only resulted in staring at the ceiling) I ran a 10k. It wasn't a spectacular run (I haven't been feeling the greatest; think I might have covid; my chest seems full, coughing, runny nose, headache - thanks unvaccinated people). On the mile cool-down walk afterward I had a chat with one of the old guys I always see along Winchester Road. Turns out his name is Ralph, and he will be 92 in January. There are few times I/we go by his house that he isn't outside working in the yard or sitting in his lawn chair in front of his garage. He can't seem to hear for crap, but he always waves. He walks his dog and his neighbors dog around the neighborhood every day, goes fishing a lot, and still mows his own lawn. Spry old chap. I hope I can still be like that at 92, though, truth be told, I really hope I'm not around that long.

WORK 

All this happened after a totally sucky day. My boss ended up getting a new job at a different Y, which is really good for him because he's been used and abused for the past year and a half. He's been forced to do like 4 full time jobs, mostly because there are morons running the place. So I'm really happy for him.

Unfortunately it leaves those of us still working here in the wake. I was originally a little excited (I kind of knew it was coming) because I thought this might actually be a chance for me to be somebody again. I thought I might have a shot at a full-time job! I've basically been handling the day-to-day operations since we reopened after the shutdown, I'm the closest to a full-time person we've had (35-ish hours per week), I am present on the premises way more than my boss or anyone else, and I had taken somewhat of an informal leadership role among the staff. Apparently my boss even told a co-worker of mine that me and her "run the place."

Well, that may be how things seemed, but... we are neither one paid to run the place, we are neither one allowed any input into running the place, neither of us has any authority to run the place, and, in fact, neither one of us is even LISTED AS STAFF on the website!!! (It's almost like we don't even work here in the minds of some).

To top things off yesterday, my coworker asks if I know about the new people hired. No, I didn't. Apparently two people have been hired, and two current staff plus a group exercise instructor will be leaving. We're never told these things. AND, this coworker said she asked my boss who was going to train the new people... and he says, "Dan"... like it's an assumed given.

[ADDED LATER]... Oh, and I forgot the kicker. A woman comes in who can't speak English. Couldn't understand a word she said. Finally my boss interrupted his workout to come over and take her back to our exercise room. Turns out this is the new Zumba instructor. Who starts this week! And did I mention SHE CAN'T FUCKING SPEAK ENGLISH???!!!??? Not to mention he hadn't told any of the people who work there about it!

You know.... YOU FUCKING KNOW... ... ... Why do people in leadership roles think none of this matters? Why do they think it doesn't matter if we know about staff changes? Why do they think it doesn't matter if we know what's going to be expected of us? Why do they think it doesn't matter that they take advantage of us? Why do they think it doesn't matter if we're treated with any kind of fucking respect or dignity???

In the end, I'm still happy for my boss to finally get out of this hell hole. But if anyone thinks I'm going to continue acting in this unofficial leadership role... they can go fuck themselves! I am nothing more than a membership enrollment specialist. When I started working here all anyone in my position did was sit at the front desk and do their homework. Well, I don't have homework, but I can read books and sit with my thumb up my ass.

Oof. I'm getting too old for this. And I can feel myself dying a little more every day I'm at this job. I realize that showing up for work every day on time, without ever calling in sick, without needing to leave early or anything like that doesn't make me a great employee. I'm like the German Shepherd. Dependable, but not seen as necessary. In the end I guess I don't consider that I really work FOR my employer anyway.  I work for myself. Fuck them.

"I can't see my reflection in the waters
 I can't speak the sounds that show no pain
 I can't hear the echo of my footsteps
 Or remember the sound of my own name"

(Bob Dylan)

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Psalm 13:1

"How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?"