Hey, old hippy

On my way home from work I was sitting at the light on Washington just across from the library. An old homeless-looking guy smoking a cigarette on the curb hollers, "Hey, old hippy!" He said it in such a way I couldn't help but smile and start up a conversation. It was like we knew each other. So we chatted as long as a red light allows, and I went on my way.

I have to admit... it kind of made my day. I was worn out and feeling worthless - as usual after work. He kind of startled me out of my stupor. I've always felt like an old hippy at heart. The thought that someone actually saw me the same way I see myself.... It felt like being "known!" I was glad he was there.

 

It seems like I'm angry a lot of the time. I don't want to be angry. I don't like being angry. I know it's not healthy (and I can feel what it does to me). I don't really even know who or what I'm angry at or about. I'm frustrated from boredom and insignificance, disappointed in our lack of church life, saddened by the state of society, lonely, and... well, they keep showing the same old reruns on GRIT TV.

I was reading in Matthew 16 where Jesus asks his disciples who people say he is. Then he asks them who THEY think he is. Peter blurts out, "You're the Messiah! The son of the living God!" Jesus says that's true, and that Peter didn't learn that, it was God himself who made it known to him.

So I wondered who I am. What do people say about me? Although, then it made me consider the old man on the curb. Who was he?? Was that maybe God himself, letting me know he saw me? That would be pretty cool if it was. Yet I don't know that that's how it works.

Maybe that's what this blog should be about: finding myself. Or searching for God in everyday life. Or, my search for peace in this mixed up crazy world. Hmm. Maybe they're all the same.

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Psalm 35:22

"Lord, you have seen this; do not be silent.
    Do not be far from me, Lord."