A marker for progress?

Oof. On the morning I'm writing this I am... not feeling it. You know, I'm tired, all I want to do is go back to bed, I feel isolated and alone... What's the point?

Honestly, I did a slow jog a couple days ago and my foot kinda/sorta hurts and I'm bummed about that; I'm sick of getting up alone and coming home in the middle of the day and being alone until just a couple hours before bed; I have no motivation for my job or running or working out or pretty much anything; I simply cannot imagine this life for another 5-7 years until I can retire...

Those were my thoughts. I had them. I can't argue with that. I will very likely have them all again.

I'm thankful, though, for this book by Richard Foster 'Learning Humility.' Most days I don't think it's a very "good" book. It's mostly just random journal notes from an old man who lives a very quiet life. Yet it has been good for me right now.

For one thing, he mentions another book I would like to get now: The Lakota Way by Joseph M. Marshall III. For years I've wanted to read some American history from a Native perspective. This looks like a good starter.

In my reading from Foster today though he quotes Thomas a Kempis's The Imitation of Christ:

"Do not think that you have made any progress unless you feel truly humble before God and others." (p.98)

Richard follows the quote up with, "What a marker for progress in the spiritual life!" 

Hmm. I know there's a difference between feeling sorry for oneself and humility, but perhaps these feelings I'm having are an opportunity for progress. Maybe the mundane moments of life are when God is most calling me to learn and grow. Could it be my holy chance to slow down and "enter the cosmic patience of God" as Foster puts it?

I don't know. It's something, that's for sure.

I probably just need to have some coffee and wake up...