Annual review (at work)

I had my annual review last Friday (Friday the 13th). It was fine. Nothing I didn't expect. And, actually, it was nice to actually talk about work with a couple supervisors. I wish I could do that more often and with more people! But I don't have the status to be included in meetings, and I doubt anyone is interested in what an old man thinks anyway.

I met with not only my current supervisor (who is an "associate" director), but also his supervisor (who is an actual director - at a different facility). So it was a little unclear as to who I was supposed to be talking to. It still is. Not trying to be critical, but the place is somewhat of a mess all around and that's a struggle for me. 

Anyway, the three of us met at a coffee shop. I made the mistake of ordering an Americano - not fully understanding what it was. I likely talked too much due to being all hopped up on caffeine. I wanted something to keep me awake though since I'd just finished my 8-hour shift. It did that.

As for the review, we were supposed to go over the following:

• What are some accomplishments you are most proud in your YMCA work from 2022? (this is not a type on my part, that's how it was written)
  
• Things you do as my supervisor that help me to be successful:
• Things you could do as my supervisor that would help me be even MORE  successful:
• 2023 Personal Development Goal:
• 2023 Department/Branch Goal:

I answered everything and wrote it out as best I could, but....... Ugh. It just doesn't matter. And, honestly, I don't feel like I know a darn thing right now. About anything!

I'm also somewhat torn since I've been reading this 'Learning Humility' book. I feel like I'm wrong about everything. Yet, still, I feel like there's so much wrong around me too! I don't trust people to make good decisions, mostly because they so often don't; and I have no confidence in anyone to do the right thing. It's very discouraging. 

So, I guess I don't really have a lot to say. My supervisor's supervisor wrote some things down, and I asked if I could have a copy. She assured me she would send it right away. Yeah... I'm not expecting to see it, or for anything to happen that was discussed.

These things make me think Mellencamp was right: "Nothing matters, and what if it did."

At least.... At least.... it's good practice in learning humility. I'm beginning to think that's what EVERYTHING is about. And I'm okay with that.