Confessions of a misophoniac

Yes, I'm afraid it's true.

I just can't listen to you chew.

Spit, slurp, breathe, smack your lips too.

I don't want to be there when you do. 

You know there's a word for this, right? Misophonia. According to WebMD:

Misophonia is a disorder in which certain sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses that some might perceive as unreasonable given the circumstance. Those who have misophonia might describe it as when a sound “drives you crazy.” Their reactions can range from anger and annoyance to panic and the need to flee. The disorder is sometimes called selective sound sensitivity syndrome.

I'm sure you're not surprised I struggle with this. Given my anxiety and being a highly sensitive person, it seems only natural. While most people may find nose-whistling, spitting, or lip-smacking unpleasant (or not notice it at all), it can create in me a complete fight-or-flight situation. All kidding aside.

This is why I cringe at the thought of church dinners (or "dinner church"), lunch meetings, and other social events involving food. Or especially when someone suggests, "Everyone loves to eat, right?" Well, no. I am that freak who doesn't enjoy it so much.

Now, don't get me wrong. It's not that I can't be around anyone when they're eating (or breathing). Some people don't bother me at all. I'd even say most of the time I don't notice or it's a mere minor annoyance. Restaurants are usually fine - because of the other noise. If we're in a home and the TV or music is on, that helps. 

There are some people, though, and some situations, which are completely intolerable. For instance, I finally had to say something to my boss at work. He's an open-mouth eater, and he apparently decided he was going to use the time when he had lunch or a snack to stand at my desk and socialize. I was honestly considering having to quit my job. I couldn't take it.

So, there ya go. Yet another idiosyncrasy of mine. I don't know why some people and some noises are exceptionally bothersome (and some aren't). I also don't know why it has to be me that's like this. While I can tolerate it fairly well most of the time, I finally had to admit it's just the way I am and sometimes I do have to set boundaries. I'm also not sure why this one seems more embarrassing than other of my "issues." I guess it seems "made up." I wish it were.