Five things friday

I kind of liked when I used to do the ftf (five things friday). God forbid I commit to something... but here's another...

1. I feel like there's some wisdom in saying: When you open a window shade be sure to look out the window. I walked into the bedroom and lifted the shade (as I do most days) and just turned around to walk out. Something didn't feel right, so I stopped myself and went back to look. Yeah, there was only a branch dangling from the tree outside, but there could have been something more (maybe like the magnificence of all creation!). Windows are important, and we would do well to notice them.
2. After slogging through the first few chapters of Martin Laird's 'Into The Silent Land' I am really getting into it now. I'd been warned it starts out slow, but to keep going. Today's chapter on 'The Three Doorways of the Present Moment: The Way of the Prayer Word' was not only enlightening, but I think just reading it changed me. I can't wait to deepen the practice.
3. Related to #2 is trajectory. I feel like planets are lining up. I mean, I feel like progress is being made even if it's only below the surface. Like, things are beginning to take shape even if it's not readily visible. I've noticed memory fragments that came out of nowhere from old bible studies in Buda, my time in seminary, pastoring, and so on as being preparation for the steps I'm taking today. It's really weird stuff. I've thought several times that my life lately doesn't feel all that different from when I was a full-time pastor - other than not doing "pastoral visitation" and preaching, and this is the best part! I mean, I hate to be too positive, but I feel kinda good right now. I should probably stop talking about it...
4. Health-wise I am feeling good too. My blood pressure has been as good as it's been in as long as I've monitored it. There's an occasional day of like 130/80, but mostly it's between 105-118/60-75. My resting heart rate is probably too low still - low 40s to 50 (this morning it was dipping into the 30s), but I think I tend to underestimate my physical conditioning. I also haven't noticed any high or out-of-rhythm heart rates, but my doctor said the monitoring shows it's still there but not necessarily bad enough to be detectable (?). I'm trying not to think about whether the ablation is still a good idea or not.
   
5. The one thing I have been struggling with is a stinking rash on my arm. I think it's either an allergic reaction to the contrast solution from the CT Scan last week or from what they used to disinfect my arm for the IV. I didn't break out until 3 days afterward, and I've had it all week now. It's red and bumpy and itches like crazy basically in the entire area where the nurse disinfected for the needle. Man, sometimes I think a rash is the worst... more so than pain even. I've been putting some Benadryl and OTC Cortisone cream on it. I hope it clears up soon. I don't even know who to ask about it. Do I call the cardiologist office, the hospital where the scan was done, or go to a walk-in clinic? Grrr. I wish my regular doctor weren't so hard to get into but I know better than to call there. Not that there's anything wrong with our healthcare system... (and I'm not criticizing doctors or nurses, but the system; you know, the thing that can't really be addressed by anyone because there's no one to address... which is the nature of systems. Double-grrr!!!).
   

So, anyway, there ya have it. It's Friday, folks! Pat yourself on the back for hanging in there another week. And go look out a window...