Right on cue

You knew it was going to happen, didn't you? I should have known. 

Remember the other day when I was boasting about how good I'd been feeling, and I hadn't had an afib episode in awhile, and everything seemed to be going just so? I even had a great 12-mile run Saturday! Yeah... I should have known better...

Oh, everything is fine. But I was kind of tired and - after not being sore at all after my run - I was oddly sore Sunday and just kinda couldn't get going. Then yesterday I was really tired. I read a chapter in the morning and had to re-read it again later on because I couldn't keep my eyes open.

Well, this morning I woke up and could tell without checking that my heart rate was high and completely out of rhythm. Although, I do have to say, when my heart rate is "high" it's actually in the normal range for most people. Like, a resting HR of 80 is perfectly in the middle of the recommended 60-100, but for me it's double what it usually is so it feels weird. 

Anyway, I went ahead and went to the gym at 6am. I lifted weights for 45 minutes and walked a mile on a treadmill. I didn't feel great, but it went okay. Then I came home and ran three miles and walked another one outside in 33F degrees and rain (it started getting slippery towards the end), and lo and behold... when I got done... my heart was back in rhythm and my heart rate and blood pressure were normal (120/74)!

That's the worst thing about this. You just never know what each day is going to be like. I'll go for awhile and everything is fine and I start to wonder if it's stupid that I'm scheduled to have this ablation... then all of a sudden out of the blue I can't stay awake and I feel crappy. And by 'crappy' it's not that I've ever really felt terrible... But I just feel off. My body feels weird and I can tell something is wrong.

So, such is life at the moment. A constant state of not knowing. Literally, not just because I'm stupid. And, really, maybe this is good for me. I can't control it and it's forcing me to learn to accept that and... know that life goes on. And even if it doesn't... that too is part of life.

The only constant seems to be (as it's always been)... whenever it feels like all is right with the world... it's only a matter of time before it goes to shit. Lol. But that too shall pass... :)