I'm pretty sure I've used this title for a previous post(s) - taken from a John Prine line. I'm not sure I've ever meant it in quite the same way.
I don't have much to give today. Sure, I went to the Y at 6am, came home and ran outside, did a couple loads of laundry, dishes, other stuff around the house... But I'm kinda wore out.
I had another AFib ordeal last night. We'd had supper and some frozen yogurt and I was just sitting on the couch watching re-runs of MASH - kind of like the first night it happened. Out of the blue I could feel my heart pounding and fluttering and I started to feel kinda weird. Sure enough, my heart beat was all over the place. I tried a few tricks, even did some pushups and took a cold shower. Nothing worked, so I took another Diltiazem and went to bed.
Sometime between 11:30pm and 1:30am I converted back on my own. I felt okay when I got up, and this may be good for me (to let go of all control in my life), but it's kind of wearing on me too.
So, I guess I'm glad I have the ablation coming up in a month. I'd do it now if I could. At least I think that now. Hopefully I feel the same way afterward.
I'm trying not to beat myself up or make myself feel guilty for being a bum... but it ain't easy.
And... that's about all she wrote for today. I was going to just skip a post today, but this is about all I have to offer. I figure I can at least write about nothing.
One of these days I intend to share some of what I've gleaned from Martin Laird's 'Into the Silent Land' (which I finished today).
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