The three doorways into the silent land

How passionately do you sing along with U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For?" It's a good question as we dig into the practice of contemplation as outlined in Martin Laird's 'Into the Silent Land: A Guide to the Christian Practice of Contemplation.' 

Let's further set the stage with some underlying points of understanding...

Laird states (53), "Contemplative practice is a skill, a discipline that facilitates a process that is out of one's direct control, but it does not have the capacity to determine an outcome. A gardener for example, does not actually grow plants. The gardener practices finely honed skills, such as cultivating soil, watering, feeding, weeding, pruning. But there is nothing the gardener can do to make the plants grow. However, if the gardener does not do what a gardener is supposed to do, the plants are not as likely to flourish. In fact they might not grow at all." It's the same with a sailor who exercises considerable skill in sailing a boat, but nothing they do can produce the wind...

This is where the three components of contemplative practice we discussed previously come into play (posture, the use of a prayer word, and the breath). We must first still our bodies, focus on a prayer word to occupy our mind, and breathe deeply to calm our spirit. Again Laird points out: "The skills are necessary but by themselves insufficient. And so it is with contemplative practice and the spiritual life in general."

This is perhaps also a good time to explain the prayer word. It is a word or phrase one uses not only to still themselves, but to re-focus the mind. It can be the simple repetition of a word like "God" or "Jesus," or maybe a portion of Scripture such as Ps. 23 "The Lord is my Shepherd," or Ps. 46 "Be still and know that I am God." A popular one is some form of what is known as the "Jesus Prayer." From the fuller version "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" to simply "Jesus, have mercy on me." It's not so important what your prayer word is, as that it draws your mind to God and is something you can sync with your breathing - saying the first part on inhale and the second on exhale (but remember to exhale slightly longer than in).

A large part of the point of a prayer word is to give you something to come back to when your mind starts to wander (which it will). It is fine if thoughts pop up. Go ahead and acknowledge them, but as you think of it, get back to your word or phrase. Personally, this is a practice I have utilized for years when running. It helps with focus and is a good way to keep my breathing regular. 

So, chapter three presents 'The Three Doorways of the Present Moment.' 

The First Doorway is practical: addressing general fidgetiness, boredom, and self-preoccupation. Even experienced people of prayer struggle sometimes to be physically still for any length of time. Over time, and using the prayer word, it's possible to cross this doorway. When thoughts come, the advice is to note them; let them be; return to the prayer word. This simple discipline is called "practice."

The Second Doorway takes us a bit deeper. As noted on 63, "The use of the prayer word at the First Doorway of practice is characterized by the effective use of the prayer word as a refuge or shield from the onslaught of thoughts, even pious thoughts. It isn't that the prayer word prevents thoughts from happening, but we can use it to help us from getting caught up in them. As we cross the threshold of the Second Doorway, however, the way the prayer word is used begins to change. The deeper we delve into the prayer word, the less we use it as a shield from afflictive thoughts. Rather we meet the thoughts with stillness instead of commentary. We let the thoughts simply be, but without chasing them and whipping up commentaries on them."

The Third Doorway requires vigilant waiting in the silence of just being. This is where we acquire the skill not only to recognize our thoughts, but to shift our attention from the thought itself, to the awareness of the thought. We are no longer tossed about and drawn into internal banter. Laird says one of the characteristics of having moved through the Third Doorway shows itself in our sense of self. Perhaps like Paul in Galatians 2:20, "I live now not with my own life but with the life of Christ who lives in me." This is where we realize "Contemplative prayer is the prayer of just being." (73)

I know this stuff can seem a little 'out there' or daunting (different, if you will). It is for me. I was not taught anything like this in the evangelical churches of my past. And by no means have I mastered any of it. Shoot, I'm still working my way through the first doorway! But this sounds like what I've been looking for all my life: peace with God. It's a life completely at home in my skin, knowing God is here with me, and all the thoughts, internal videos, and emotions I constantly struggle with don't have to dictate who I am.

So, I practice. I'm not yet up to the recommended 20-30 minutes twice a day... But I practice at night when laying in bed; I practice when running; I try to do 5-10 minutes here and there during the day.

I still haven't found it, but I feel like this just might be... the way.

NOTE: Part 1 of this exploration is here: Part 2 is here.