Try softer - pt. 2

Yesterday I shared some of my highlights (and thoughts) on the first section of Aundi Kolber's helpful book 'Try Softer.' Today I will share some of the same from section two, which she titled, 'Practices To Try Softer.'  

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P.120 - "Mindfulness includes awareness of both external and internal things. This is one reason there is overlap in the meaning of contemplative Christian practices and secular/non-Christian practices. Practitioners of Westernized/secular mindfulness are simply looking to accept what is. But as Christians, we need not be afraid of this observing exercise, for we know that God holds it all: 'Everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen' (Romans 11:36, NLT)."

I understand the hesitance of some in the "Christian" world to embrace anything connected to mindfulness. I've been there myself. However, I now believe God's sovereignty over all things allows us to utilize whatever works for us. I am a big fan of contemplative/mindfulness practices. They help me recognize His presence perhaps as much as anything.

PP. 126-132 - Under the heading "Learning to Live With Attention" are the practices of: Pendulation (focus on something that feels soothing or empowering to help us delve into more disturbing feelings), Beauty Hunting ("When we hunt for beauty, we learn to pay attention;" also the poem by John O'Donohue), and Tracking (learning to intentionally notice your sensations and emotions as they change). See also the exercises on pp.137-139.

Yeah, that bolded quote on beauty hunting is good. That is something I need to be much more intentional about in general (and shouldn't we all)!  

PP. 132-136 - She calls this section "Love Your Neighbor As Yourself," and it is good as well. A few quotes:

"Mindful attention toward our internal experiences is a step toward practicing self-compassion; in turn, it can lead to attunement - a responsiveness to our own needs. Attunement is built on attention, but it's not attention alone." ... 

"The process of learning to attune to myself has taught me that the greatest gift I can give my clients, family, and friends is not my knowledge or even what I can do for them. Instead, when I'm connected to my embodied self, I can more deeply connect to them too." ...

"Doing our own work allows us to feel with others, and it is the framework that allows us to 'hold space' for others."

In other words: working on ourselves is not 'for ourselves' alone. When I am better, I can help others be better, and so on; thereby making the world around us better. 

Chapter 7 - PP.141-161 - deals with attending to our bodies sensations (embodiment). She notes Schwartz and Maiberger's feedback systems of Exteroception, Proprioception, and Interoception. I also enjoyed p.156ff and the idea of developing our 'felt sense.' 

 

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I like this second part of the book because each chapter contains actual and practical things we can do... to try softer (rather than merely trying harder).

I'm going to stop here for today, though, and make this a three-part series (at least)... Because the chapters on trying softer with Emotions, the Internal Critic, and Resilience are A LOT (again, I mean this in a good way - there's a lot to take in; and it's all good!). Hopefully I can get to that first thing next week. :) 

Peace