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Hey there.

So... I don't know if anyone even noticed, but... I took a bit of a break. It wasn't intended. I just sort of... stopped writing.

At first I guess I just ran out of things to say. Or maybe I simply got tired of saying them. I'm not real sure.

Then... I've been through a bit of a rough patch. Still am, in some ways. A lot going on inside my head and such. Among other things.

Some of it has not been bad. Maybe even good. Those wilderness times / dark night of the soul type things are maybe difficult at first, but usually seem to be better in the end. I guess. I can't say that I'm 'better' yet. But the silence and alone-ness has been noticed. I am beginning to feel different.

I've read some books, and am currently reading an old book on The Desert Fathers. That is somewhat helpful. I think. I feel like I'm in the desert, and a bit monk-like. And I think I feel just as messed up and vulnerable as some of them - which is why they went to the desert in the first place.

So... that's about all I've got as far as explaining my absence for the last month-plus. This may be the longest break I've taken on this blog in the twenty-some years I've been writing here (maybe not, I don't know). Anyway, I can't say if I'm 'back' yet or not... but I'm here today.

* * * * * 

Also, today is the first time my back hasn't hurt since last Wednesday. I had started doing some additional weight training and was doing some speed work running. A week ago Tuesday I added dead lifts. I really have no business doing dead lifts - especially not at my age, and since I've never done them before. Plus, I probably had too much weight on the bar to begin with. So, my back was already a bit sore from that, in addition to the normal weight routine I do.

It didn't stop there, though. A week ago Wednesday, while my lower back was already sore from the dead lifts, I did five 800 meter runs at a pace quite a bit faster than I normally go. This was after a mile warmup run. On the second one I actually had to stop halfway through because my back sent a jolt of pain into my hips. Silly me... I kept right on going in spite of it.

Well, beginning that afternoon I could barely walk, sit, stand or breathe without pain. I figured I'd give it a few days and that would be that. Except... after a few days it was still just as tight/sore. So, for a full week I mostly laid on the couch or in bed (other than the day before Fathers Day and Fathers Day itself, when we went to ribfest). However, I couldn't drive and it was pretty darn uncomfortable. 

I finally drove for the first time this past Wednesday - so a whole week later. I also mowed the lawn... with my back brace on. It has slowly gotten back to almost normal. Today was the first time I did my morning stretches.

I ended up having to postpone my at-home sleep study test, because I didn't think it would be very accurate when I was having such a hard time sleeping. I also missed an elder meeting and the Sunday gathering. And... I was plenty lonely, not being able to go anywhere or do anything.  

Anyway, I'm glad the back is back to mostly-normal. I plan to go for a walk today (3 miles, hopefully), and gradually ease back into running maybe next week or the week after. Fortunately I wasn't really training for anything at the moment. However, it is a bit of a bummer that I'd actually started making some strides towards getting a bit faster and increasing my VO2max slightly.

 

So, there ya have it. Carry on.