Five things friday (frenzy)

This day has already seemed kind of like the month of January, which has so far felt like nearly a year... I'm ready for 2026 to be over already!

Although... it's not like it's been all bad. It just started off that way. I did score a couple Wilco tickets this morning, and I'm pretty pumped about them coming to town in April!

Anyway, here's five random things that you may or may not care about...

1. DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

Yeah, there's that song... but also... my day started off with my watch not working.

A couple years ago I started wearing my Garmin Forerunner 45 watch around-the-clock (no pun intended). It tracks miles, steps, stress, and sleep (among other things). It took me a while to adjust to a healthy relationship with this - where I wasn't checking it all the time - and now I just check in a couple times a day. First thing in the morning is one of those times.

Well, apparently there was an automatic update last night... and it must have disconnected everyone's watch from their phones. At least that's what my app said when I went to check it first thing this morning. There was an apology, and it simply said to reconnect your device. Ha! Sure.

I tried and tried and tried to reconnect my watch to my phone... and it just pissed me off more and more. Finally I needed to get on with my life, so I just let it go. I did my run, went to lunch, washed the car... yada yada yada... and just now tried it again. It worked right away. I wish they'd have just told me to wait this morning, instead of me making myself crazy trying a bunch of stuff that apparently wasn't going to work anyway.

I suppose this is a 'first-world problem' though, right? (Is the USA still a first-world country?)

2. RUNNING

I've been running indoors for the past two weeks. I need to get outside again! Ugh.

This morning I ran 9 miles on the treadmill. I believe this is my last single-digit "long run" until the end of April. It really wasn't too bad - mostly because I wore a new pair of shoes (my white Glycerin 22s). I got one of the nice treadmills and didn't even listen to music or anything. I walked every 2.5 miles to take a drink (Tailwind berry flavored endurance fuel). Mostly I ran at 5.7-5.8 mph. I also saw a number of people and a couple of them chatted with me at different times while I was running.

All my runs these past two weeks have been on a treadmill, except one day I ran on the indoor track at the Y my daughter works at. Mmmmm... I didn't care for it too much. It was sooo hot, and it's pretty short. It takes 14 laps to make it one mile. I did three miles, and that seemed like a lot of times around. Plus I had trouble navigating the banked corners, especially if I was going around a walker, or the old man who was mopping. There are only two lanes.

Next week I hope to start running outside again. I hope...

3. RUNNING AROUND

I didn't have much time to lollygag this morning because I had a lunch "thing" at 11:30 this morning. That's partly why the watch situation upset me so (I ended up putting it in my watch manually - you know, because otherwise it doesn't count). 

Every month or so I meet for lunch with a group of people who work out at the Y where I work out (and where I used to work). Today we met at The Club Room at The Clyde, and there were fifteen of us. There are maybe a couple dozen if everyone ever showed up at the same time. Everyone is my age or older, and it's a somewhat eclectic group, if I do say so myself. Everyone is married, though myself and another lady don't ever bring our spouses, and one couple is two gay men (I don't know if they're married or not).

A few people are newer to the group and I don't know them very well, but otherwise I like everybody. We're all fairly different, but everyone has a pretty cool story. A couple are world travelors, a couple authors, two of the old guys played volleyball most of their lives (yes, they're tall), and... I don't know... it's just an interesting group. It's funny how we all just chat and don't really even have to think of things to say. I don't know that I've ever been part of a group of people like this in my life. It feels good to be included...

4. CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT ALCOHOL?

I get a lot of my news from the 1440 daily newsletter (email). It seems to be fairly unbiased, and generally gives me 'just enough' news, without too much... Anyway...

Today there was this article 'Can Civilization Function Without Alcohol?' that I found fairly interesting. 

It discusses "dry January" (we did a partial dry January in that we didn't drink at home, mostly), and the definite health benefits of not drinking alcohol. However, it also points out some of the benefits of alcohol on our society - especially in light of some of the alternatives we think are out there. I had never given much thought to any of this.

One other item of note, was the role GLP-1 use can play (which I was totally unaware of). As they say:

"GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy may reshape drinking culture by accident. Designed for diabetes and weight loss, they dampen the dopamine reward pathways that make alcohol feel good. ... As these medications spread, millions may find themselves functionally sober as a side effect, without ever deciding to quit." 

Who knew???

5. THE QUOTE

“The worst thing a jerk can do is to turn you into a jerk.” —​ Frank Oppenheimer (boy, do I resemble that remark -- both sides of it!)

 

Okay, well... I know you likely have a way busier day than I do, so... get on with it!

Stay cool... (but not cold).

Attachment: 'the big six' (secure or insecure?)

I suppose it might be helpful if I backed up a little. <beep, beep, beep>

Yesterday I discussed chapter 6 in Adam Young's book 'Make Sense of Your Story: Engaging Your Past With Kindness Changes Everything.' Today I want to jump back to chapter 4: "What if you engaged your family of origin story?"

I won't go heavy into specifics, but mostly wanted to briefly cover what he refers to as "The Big Six" of attachment. Attachment refers to the manner in which you connect with others. It's the emotional bond you develop with the people you are closest to (in most cases, parents and siblings). 

Young says, "If your primary caregivers were sufficiently attuned, responsive, and engaged with you as a child, you developed what is called a secure attachment" (1. the ability to regulate your affect; 2. built-in resilience to stress; 3. ability to make sense of your story and life experiences in a coherent way, which is important for brain health; and 4. a high likelihood of being in relationship with other securely attached people and having healthy, fulfilling, and meaningful relationships).

What determines if you will be have a secure attachment or insecure attachment? 

Young says there are six things we need from our primary caregivers to develop a secure attachment - The Big Six:

1. Attunement - your parents' desire and ability to read your emotional state.
2. Responsiveness - how well your parents responded to your emotions, moods, etc.
3. Engagement - your parents' genuine desire to know - and draw out - your inner emotional world.
4. Ability to Regulate Your Affect - (Affect refers to the felt sense of what is happening in your physical body... your internal bodily sensations) - how well did your parents handle this with you?
5. Ability to Handle Your Big Emotions - did your parents have the emotional strength to bring some containment to your negative emotions (anger, fear, sadness)?
6. Willingness to Repair Rupture - were your parents willing to repair harm when they wounded you?

Now, I don't know about you, but I feel like I suck/sucked pretty bad at these things myself as a parent... However, Young stresses over and over that we can't go there. First we need to understand how we got where we are. So, try not apply these things to yourself and your children, but to you and your parents (or primary caregivers).

Some things to keep in mind:

• "Attachment Ed Tronick points out that parents of securely attached children demonstrate attunement and responsiveness on the first try about 33% of the time! Only one time in three! The reason these children are securely attached is the parents notice when they are mis-attuning to their children and offer repair most of the time."
• "Your earliest relationship with your primary caretakers has significantly shaped the development of your brain."
  
• "The way you attached to your primary caregivers profoundly influences how you presently relate to other people."

Okay, that is the briefest of brief coverage of attachment - specifically secure attachment. 

What if your parents/caregivers weren't very good at the above? Well, the next post regarding the book - which will probably be early next week - will be on insecure attachment (you know... how I am).

See you then (unless you want to come back tomorrow for Five Things Friday). ;)

Two kinds of empathy; and memory

I'm over halfway through Adam Young's incredible book 'Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past With Kindness Changes Everything.' There are so many good and useful things (even though I had already heard most of it at his two-day seminar by the same name).

I was intrigued by his piece on two kinds of empathy in chapter 6 (Naming What is Most True About Your Story). 

As you may or may not be aware, political conservatives were throwing a fuss about empathy not too long ago... and it either included conservative Christians or was inferred to include - I can't really keep up. Anyway, apparently maga people were saying having empathy was weak/bad/wrong... or something like that. Well, regardless, that's not what this is about (You're welcome).

In this particular chapter he begins talking about Mind Mapping (as well as Traumatic Mind Mapping). Young uses the terms Mind Mapping and Empathy interchangeably. This is his definition:

"Empathy is the human capacity to know and understand another person's emotions and thoughts."

Now, when most of us think of empathy, we tend to think of compassion. But they are not the same thing. Compassion is concern for another person's suffering... and it's possible to have empathy without having compassion.

This is where he notes two types of empathy:

1. Compassionate Empathy is when you mind map someone, realize what they are feeling and thinking, and feel care and concern for their pain (what most of us think of as empathy).
2. Antisocial Empathy is a term coined by therapist David Schnartch in his book Brain Talk, in which you mind map someone, realize what they are feeling and thinking, and use that information to wound them. Bullies have antisocial empathy. That's how they prey on you.

This sort of blew my mind (as have many other things in the book - it's so good)...

Young then moves from this into the TWO LAYERS OF MEMORY we have: Implicit Memory and Explicit Memory. 

Again, when most of us think of the word 'memory,' we're thinking of explicit memories. When you recall information from a previous point in time. This begins developing around twenty-four months of age.

Implicit Memory, however, is operational before you even come out of the womb. To recall something in explicit memory, you had to be paying attention. Implicit memories are created whether you are paying attention or not! There is no sensation that you are remembering something. Implicit memory is about the "feel" of things. It's a sense. For instance, when you see a stray dog, you may instantly become afraid and panic. Your body has recalled a bad experience with a dog. Yet, someone else may have a very different reaction, because they've had different experiences. You didn't think "I need to panic" (or not panic), you just did it.

This can be true of any enjoyable or uncomfortable situation we may find ourselves in. We don't have to actively recall what happened... we implicitly know inside ourselves, and may not even be aware of why we feel the way we do.

For instance, someone may feel like - or seem to others - to be overreacting to a situation. And perhaps you don't even know why you're overreacting yourself. It could very well be because there is no explicit memory associated with it, but there IS an implicit memory. This is where doing story work can be helpful in learning to understand who we are...

Okay, that was way more than I intended to get into. I am finding it all quite interesting, to say the least. And... today I read about engaging your sexual story. If you thought empathy was interesting, you should read this chapter! ;) 

New headphones

One thing I wanted to buy myself for Christmas was a nice pair of headphones. Of course, that's not what I did... but I suppose I moved in that direction...

I've always wanted a 'nice' stereo again. I had a really nice one when I was in high school and early on in our marriage - receiver, turntable, cassette deck, and big speakers. I can still remember driving to Sterling, IL with Moose and getting it. I'm guessing I may have sold it when we moved to Ohio in the mid-1990s (or sooner).

Anyway, I'm not sure I would even know what to look for in a nice stereo anymore - what with everything digital, and running through T.V.s and all. So I figured a good, quality pair of over-ear, noise-cancelling headphones might be close enough (with an app to make personalized adjustments). 

I admit, I don't know much more about headphones than I do newfangled stereos... so I just googled "Best headphones for listening to music." Yeah... I didn't realize they could cost so much... and there could be so many different considerations. So...

I opted to start with this pair of Soundcore by Anker Q20i hybrid active noise cancelling headphones with wireless over-ear bluetooth, 40 hours anc playtime, hi-res audio, big bass, customizable via app, and with transparency mode.

Uh... I don't really understand much of that either, but these were rated fairly high on the "best over-ear, noise-cancelling headphones for music and exercise under $250." And they were only $45 (although now I see they're even cheaper at $40)! Whatever.

I've only used them a couple times so far, including as I type this I'm listening to meditation music called "Calm the Mind and Stop Overthinking." 

My goal at some point is to use them for the following:

• Meditation (I've recently started making a point of this in the afternoons again, with my tea)
• Trying to listen to more music, as 'listening to music time,' instead of while doing something else
• I may even try listening to an audio book (I've never done it, but lots of people do)
• Perhaps when I am forced to run on a treadmill (if it's more than 3-4 miles)

So, here I sit, typing this blog post, listening to relaxing sounds on my new headphones, feeling all sorts of mellow and calm and stuff (and maybe just a tad uppity privileged).

I suppose it's a process... ;)

Dr. visit: annual physical

I had my routine annual physical last Thursday... with a new doctor. My blood test numbers were the best overall since I started keeping track in 2015 (with the exception of one). Yet... the visit wasn't without some of the normal issues.

I switched my primary care physician because we've found a much cheaper route (through our insurance) and I was just tired of my old doctor's office and how difficult it is to even get in for a visit. I like the new doctor and staff (Dr. G.E).

As for my visit: 

Weight: 161 (compared to 159 a year ago)

BP: 162/100 (compared to 148/98 a year ago)

Pulse: 63

Oxygen: 98

Of course the doctor and nurse were concerned about my blood pressure. However, I showed them my recent history (116/73 the day before, at home), along with my history of anxiety-driven readings from every other doctor/cardiologist visit... and since it was back down towards the end of the visit (the nurse just said it was in the "acceptable" range), all was well. I hate how anxious I get when getting my BP taken...

Otherwise... this is the first time I can remember when all my numbers except one were in the normal range. My glucose was 118, which is not good. It is normally just over or under 100 (should be 70-99), and was 106 last year. However, my A1C was 5.6 (which is in the normal range, although right at the very top). So, I need to work on keeping that in check. 

The lipid panel usually gets me, but not this time (I guess taking a statin for the past year has made a difference - unfortunately). Cholesterol was 168, Triglycerides 109, HDL 58, VLDL 20, LDL 90.

They ordered me a Cologuard at-home test since I haven't done one for three years. I suppose I can comply with that.

Other than that, the doctor listened to my heart, lungs, looked inside my mouth and ears, pressed on my stomach and back, and had me do a squat and toe-touches and the like... and I guess he declared me physically fit enough to live another year. So, we'll see. 

*Here is my post about last year's visit

**And my post about where I keep my annual blood test history

Five things friday

Happy Friday, my frozen friends (at least if your temps are anything like the single digits they are here!) Here are some things for you...

1. WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

I renewed my servers license earlier this week, so for at least another three years I can sell/serve alcohol and tobacco. Previously I had a simple 'Volunteer Servers Permit,' which only costs $15 for three years, but was only good as a volunteer. This time I got the regular Employee Permit ($45 for three years), so I could possibly get a job at a liquor store, bar or restaurant... if I wanted. You just never know.

The worst part of this is watching the Indiana Server Training Program video and taking the test. It took me 90 minutes, and was the same exact video/test I did three years ago. The funniest part is the lady from the coalition against underage drinking (or something) who presents her part from her bed! Her headboard is the backdrop behind her. Haha. Apparently it was recorded during the covid shutdown... so, naturally, you do your presentation while in bed! Ha!

2. BETTER QUESTIONS

I'm a sucker for these conversation-starter questions (even though I'm still terrible at conversations). Anyhew, I appreciated this list of 80 Interesting Questions to Ask Besides "How Are You?". Here are a few:

• What’s the best thing that happened to you today?
• What are you most looking forward to this week?
• What’s the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
• What’s been on your mind recently?
• If you got a do-over, what would you do differently this month? This year?
• On a scale of 1 to 10—with 10 being the best—what’s your current state of mind?
• What word describes your life right now, and why?
• Who or what always cheers you up?
• What made you smile today?
• What is the weirdest thing you saw on your commute?
• Is there anything you did today that you’d love to do every day?
• Which song would be the perfect theme for your day?
• Who made your day easier today?
• What’s one way you aim to make tomorrow better than today?
• Do you have any fun trips planned?
• What podcast are you currently obsessed with?
• What new movie or TV show should I check out? Which one is overrated?
  
• What could you give a TED Talk on with zero prep?
• What are you most looking forward to this year?
• What was the best thing that happened in school today?
• What was the most surprising thing you learned today?
• Who did you help today? Who helped you?
• When did you feel the most bored?
• What was the hardest thing you did today?
• If you could give your teacher one suggestion, what would it be?
• What made you laugh the most today?
• What is something you know now that you didn’t know yesterday?

There's plenty more at the link, but you get the idea. By the way, how are you? ;) 

3. MORE THAN RUNNING INDOORS

Yes, I did my 12-mile run on a treadmill today. It went about like you would think running 12 miles on a treadmill would go. Not great. I couldn't get my ear buds to work, so it was all done from the back row at the downtown Y I used to work at. Plus, I had a couple vials of blood sucked from my veins by the doctor yesterday, and I'm sure that didn't help. I was beat. Ugh.

However, when I arrived there were 15 other people there, and 13 of them greeted me by name. That makes a difference to someone like me, you know. And others came and went that I knew also. I really do need to get out more, and as they say at the Y (or at least they used to) - it's more than just a gym. It felt good to be noticed, greeted, and to be among friends.

4. READING

I mentioned earlier this week that I finished reading Slow Theology, by A.J. Swoboda and Nijay Gupta. What a gem. While it seems a lot of non-fiction books anymore start off well and then kind of fizzle towards the end (like they had already said what needed saying in the first couple chapters, but they needed more pages)... this one is the opposite. It started off a little slow to me (no pun intended), but boy did it end well. It got better as it went, from start to finish. Well done.

I have now started reading Make Sense of Your Story, by Adam Young. He presented a workshop at our church this past November on the contents of this book, and I want to dig deeper. After this I intend to look into some videos and other resources at the Allender Center (as well as some Jay Stringer stuff). I am finding all this very helpful right now...

5. QUOTE FOR TODAY

"The challenge of any chaotic moment is to not lose touch with the voice of Jesus." - A.J. Swoboda & Nijay Gupta, p.177, Slow Theology

 

**Bonus - This is what I'd like to do (if I did anything, and had the funds, and a building...): A listening bar. Play good music on nice sound equipment, have comfy furniture, good wine and coffee/tea, and a smooth vibe.

 

Alrighty... that seems to be about enough for this Friday. Although... I did pass my annual physical this week (more on that later), and I've switched up house-cleaning day from Friday to Thursday. So, now all I need to do is take a shower (this is becoming more of a priority by the minute), and then maybe some meditation to the J.J. Cale channel on Pandora (which I have been digging lately).

Keep the faith, friends... and your fanny from freezing!

New running shoes (ghost trail & glycerin 22)

I am a little behind on my running-shoe record-keeping. Oops.

I had to look back and see. I did apparently include a write-up on the new orange Brooks Ghost 17 that I purchased on 8/10/25. This is what I've been running in the most recently. I think (maybe) I ran the Fort4Fitness half marathon in these in the fall(??). They're still holding up fairly well, but mileage-wise I suppose are approaching retirement age. They've felt surprisingly good once I broke them in (and loosened the lower strings).

Since then I have bought two other pairs of running shoes...

I got these Brooks Ghost Trail shoes on 11/12/25. I have run in them several times on snow-covered pavement... including the 11 miles last Friday. They are actually more comfortable than the Ghost 17 above, with a slightly wider toe box. They do have a better tread than a regular shoe, and don't work too bad on snow (though not so much on ice). They are not super trail-y, though... so they work fairly good on the road as well. Hopefully I can get a couple more years out of them (fingers crossed).

On 12/17/25 I got this pair of Brooks Glycerin 22 on sale (I think for $125). I've worn them just a couple times, but these will start to be my daily trainer probably fairly soon as I amp up mileage for the April marathon. I will likely get another pair of Glycerin's to run that marathon in.
 

All three of these are size 8.5, which is nice. I don't like when I have to switch between 8.5 and 9 because the arch hits different. Although I wish there was an 8.75, because that's what I need! ;)

Anyway, now I should be caught up on my shoe posts for another couple months...

Abiding on the treadmill

I've been running on a treadmill this week. It kind of feels like I'm cheating or something, but...

It was bitter cold Monday, and I wasn't feeling the greatest, so I swallowed hard and decided to use a treadmill at the Y instead of running outside. I admit, I had grown a little uppity about treadmill running. I had become a road-runner, not an indoor runner. Rain, sleet, snow... cold or hot... it didn't matter. I was a tough guy. (I know, right? It's laughable.)

Anyway, Monday morning I walked into the Y I used to work at, and there were several friends just inside the door. Right away they wondered what I was doing there. I sheepishly admitted I was running on the treadmill instead of outside. I felt a little wimpy and hung my head.

However, it finally dawned on me: At least I was doing something! Running on a treadmill beats laying on the couch (not that I didn't also lay on the couch Monday).

Then, the more I thought about it, the better I felt. Who was I trying to impress? Yes, I would need to do the bulk of training miles for a road race on a road, but it didn't mean I had to be stupid and run outside in below-zero windchills.

So, I ran 3 miles Monday and today, 6 on Tuesday, and will likely do my 12 on a treadmill Friday. Why not? 

Then, in the latest book I read, they talked about the idea of "abiding," that John uses in his gospel.

Slow Theology, by A.J. Swoboda and Nijay Gupta was pretty good. In the final chapter ("Don't Ever Give Up") they discuss the theological meaning of the verb "Abide." Here's what they say on p.174...

"Abide" has a kind of old-timey religious ring to it; it sounds holy and spiritual (and it's used in the cult classic The Big Lebowski in the saying, "The dude abides"). "Abide sounds like a transcendent state of being and spiritual bond with the divine that is otherworldly and mysterious, doesn't it? So it is a little ironic that the Greek word that John uses here is menō, a very common and ordinary word for living, persisting, or remaining in one place. In fact, it's most basic meaning is "to stay."

The authors talk about this for several wonderful pages - times when Jesus used the word, and the theology behind God's abiding love. On p.175-176 they add...

That's Christianity at its most basic: yearning to be near Christ and to do whatever it is that he is doing. And he wants the same, to be near us... The Christian -- the one who abides in Jesus -- is the one who continues to hold firmly to their love for Christ until their very end.

It's a really beautiful section - brings a tear to my eye reading it again. The whole book was like that.

So, I'm thinking that this time spent on the treadmill is a chance for me to not only stay in one place while (still) running... but a time to abide with Jesus too. 

At least that's the excuse I'm using...

Five things friday

Happy Friday! I suppose I should get back in the habit of sharing a FTF again. Here ya go...

1. CRITICAL IGNORING

According to this WSJ article, Critical Ignoring is going to be our key survival skill for surviving 2026. I've seen this mentioned several places, and we discussed it at our elders meeting the other night. 'Knowing more' is no longer what we need. As someone noted: In an age of endless low-quality information, knowing what to ignore - and taking steps to do so - is now a life skill.

At the elder meeting we did the small, but intentional, step of physically turning off our phones (except two people who said they couldn't). Of course, this doesn't mean we should ignore everything - thus the "critical" nature...

2. ON LONG, LONE PARTNERSHIPS

For some reason I seem to see/hear more and more about open relationships. I can't say I'm a fan. This morning I was thinking about how nice it is that I've been in a long, lone relationship. I mean, when I reminisce - say I hear an old song, and reflect back on it - the person I was with is... the same person I'm still with. There's no longing for an "old love"... because my old love is my current love. And, I'll admit, there have been times in my life when I've thought, "Gee, I wonder if I've missed out on... something?" You know what? I haven't! I haven't missed out on anything, because I've had a good and full life with the ONE I love. Anyhew, just something I was thinking about on my run this morning.

3. RUNNING (double digits)

Today was my first double-digit mile run. I ran 11 miles in 25F tempts with patches of snow and ice. I almost wiped out three times. Earlier in the week was a 3, 6, 3, and I'll likely do another 3 miles tomorrow. The weekly mileage will only increase from now until mid-April. The biggest problem on longer runs in the winter is fuel. I'm using a Tailwind mix for electrolytes and calories. I've ditched my hydration pack and just carry it in bottles in my backpack (that way the hose doesn't freeze). Not ideal, but functional.

4. WRITING

I read Darius Foroux now and then, and found this post, 'Why I Write,' particularly interesting. Especially his answer. He apparently quotes Friedrich Nietzsche:

"I have not discovered any other way of getting rid of my thoughts."

I can certainly relate to that. Getting rid of my thoughts, or processing my thoughts, or... something along those lines is my reason too. At least as good of a reason as anything else... ;)

5. QUOTING

"Every time I read the Gospels, I'm struck by how much of Jesus' ministry was just paying attention to people everyone else overlooked. That might still be the most radical thing a Christian can do." - Beau Stricker

Well, there ya have it. It's another Friday, it is now snowing pretty good out, and the house is waiting to be cleaned.

Peace

Accord oil change & coolant exchange

I took our 2013 Honda Accord LX 4-door sedan with a 2.4 Liter L4 MPI DOHC 16 in for an oil change and to have the coolant system flushed and refilled. They also washed it for me, which it desperately needed. Total cost was ~$250, and it took around 90 minutes.

I opted to hang out in their nicely redone customer service area. I was able to read a chapter in my current book, as well as sift through some emails. It was also an exercise in being around some other humans for awhile - which is something I probably need to do more of.

The usual list of recommended work is:

• new battery (it's 5 years old, and the price they quoted is actually lower than if I replaced it myself: $168.95 to $209)
• serpentine belt ($183.67) 
• brake fluid flush ($189.95)
• transmission service ($299.95)
• fuel injection system cleaning ($199.95)
• engine performance restoration ($79.95)
• spark plugs ($192.71)
• they also noted the cabin air filter and engine air filter should be replaced at next oil change 

Geezaroo... that would have been an extra $1,315.13 if I'd had everything done! 

I should probably get a new battery, serpentine belt and break fluid flush, but I don't know about the rest. I'd really like to get rid of this car and get something else but... yeah... we'll see.

Elder

Well, it finally happened. I am back in another church leadership position.

Twelve and one half years after leaving my position as a local church pastor, I am now officially a local church elder. This past Sunday I was "consecrated" - I guess is the term - as an elder at the church we've been part of for the past few years.

I was initially nominated and asked to be an elder last year (like, 18 months ago), and it simply didn't feel right (which may be another way of saying I was scared). They asked me again this year and... I said I would do it. 

I'm not entirely sure what changed between then and now, but ever since last year when I said no, it had kind of been gnawing on me. I now feel like it's a way I can offer service to the church, and I want to.

Tonight will be my first 'elder meeting,' which I'm told will last around two hours. They aren't really "business meetings," as much as they're supposed to be about formation and development. 

The "team" I will be joining as leaders of the church can be found on THIS PAGE.

The 'Elder Role' (for our church community) is described as such:

The elders provide oversight of the affairs of the church. In collaboration with one another, and in close proximity and service to the Canvas Community, and for no compensation, the Elders will commit to:

• Following and walking with Jesus as Lord, savior, and friend.
• Seeking and cultivating a Jesus-centered approach to the scriptures.
• The pursuit of health and ongoing growth in all areas of life: spiritual, emotional, mental, physical.
• Cultivating a life and environment of prayer.
• Pursuit of integrity and ethical conduct in all aspects of life (private & public).
• Seeking, listening for, and following the lead of the Spirit.
• Kindness, respect, and warmth in conversation and written communication.

 The 'Expectations and Requirements' for elders in our church community are:

Personal Growth 

• Engaged in some form of regular counseling, spiritual direction, 1 to 1, or group work which provides context for being known and receiving guidance.
• Demonstrates an openness and desire for growth and health in all areas of life.

Familiarity with the community 

• Consistent presence at Canvas events
• Seeks to better know the people of Canvas through presence, time together, and relational initiative and investment.

Service 

• Provides ongoing leadership presence and/or oversight to at least 1 area or ministry team.
• Seeks to be in touch with and aware of all aspects of the church through attendance of meetings, and timely engagement with written communication.
• Seeks responsibility and stewardship for the well-being of the church as a whole.
• Full Time Staff Support – Each full time staff will have 2 designated Support Elders, selected by the staff person and confirmed by the Elder Team, of one male and one female, assigned for encouragement, discernment & alignment with the stated vision of Canvas, and soul care. The main role of the support Elders is support and must exhibit tangible artifacts of that support. An Elder may serve as support for more than 1 full time staff, if desired.

 

I don't know if I really feel "qualified" or even "ready" to be in a leadership position like this again, but... I probably feel more qualified and ready than I ever have been (even when I was a pastor). Not because I think I'm any wiser or more prepared... but maybe because I feel... less. 

One verse that stood out to me as I pondered accepting the role this year was James 3:17:

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere."

I guess I feel like I have a better sense that the wisdom I should be seeking shouldn't be my own... but the "wisdom from above." That's how I want to approach this. I want to have that attitude.

So, this is what's been happening in my life recently. There was a process of like three weeks where they notified the congregation of their intent to add me to the elder team. During that time people were encouraged to speak to me and/or weigh in on the decision. I had a couple people ask me about it, but apparently no one raised any red flags and... that's that. 

Here we go!

A new chair

Sometimes it's the simplest of things that can make the biggest difference...

I got a new chair! Yay, for me!

My "desk" is actually our dining room table, which sits in our dining/living room. It allows me to look out our two big windows onto the street at the front of the house. Usually it's just this laptop that I'm writing on, the iPad, and some scattered papers and books.

We have laminate flooring, and I noticed that our dining room chairs have started to scratch the floor - mostly where I sit at the computer every day. Plus, most of them are not very comfortable. So, I made the decision it was time for an office chair!

My first instinct was to go to Office Depot and just get the cheapest one they had. When I saw that it was $129... I decided maybe my instincts needed an update.

So, I ordered this Amazon Basics Low-Back Office Desk Chair with Back Support, Adjustable Height, 360 Degree Swivel, Fabric Upholstery, Rolling, Black chair for $67 and received it two days later.

It's nothing fancy, but it is actually much more comfortable than I expected. It's a far cry from some of the cheapo office chairs I've sat in over the years. I also like being able to roll around, and spin.

---

At church we've lately been talking about gratitude. We had people write things they're grateful for on post-it notes and put them up. Our pastor noted how none of the things people wrote they were grateful for had to do with their occupation, career, paycheck, bigger house/car/boat... They were almost all simple and small things. Parents, spouses, kids, friends, pets, coffee, laughter... things like that.

Some of the things I put were my wife, kids, and grandkids... as well as quiet mornings, growing older, our couch - where I sit and read, and silence. Again... simple.

This morning I am feeling pretty grateful for this "basic" office chair. With it I can look out our windows and see the world: trees, grass, houses, neighbors, cats, and signs of a gentle winter breeze.

It's nice...

Christmas 2025

The Christmas and New Year's holidays are over, and now we settle in for the long winter suck. Though it is currently a sunny 38F in this little slice o' heaven known as northeast Indiana, USA.

As per usual, if you had any expectations of me posting over the past couple weeks, I have let you down. Such is life. Get used to it.

Still, here is what I can recall from the time:

THE PRESENTS

Since we all know Christmas is about the presents we get... ;). The above pic is my haul.

• Jane and I got each other pajamas, because we're like that now
• Bombas socks are a staple gift around our house every year, for everyone
• Books for me is another given
• The daughter got me a digital picture frame - which I really like!

One other gift that I got for Jane, which is actually for both of us, is this 'We're Not Really Strangers: Couples Edition.' They say it's "For couples looking to deepen their existing connection." I thought it might help create discussion on long trips, or as an alternative to sitting and staring at our phones at night. We've already gone through several of the questions - which come on cards - and I would say it has proven quite nice already. I'm glad I got it!

PRESENCE

I do realize this holiday season is way more about presence than presents, at least in the world I live in. And we were once again fortunate to spend time with family. My mom was here from 12/24-12/30, the son's family from 12/25-12/29. The daughter's family (who live in town) were in and out the entire time too. 

I went and got my mom on the 23rd/24th, and we went to our church's Christmas Eve service at 4:30p, along with the daughter's family. On Christmas Day we always go out to the daughter's house for breakfast and to see what her kids got. Then we drove to Anderson, IN and picked up the son, daughter-in-law, and little Wynn. We all then gathered at our house to open presents in the afternoon, then had the big "Christmas" feast for supper (lasagna - both with and without meat).

We did also remember, and manage to get, this family pic (as well as various other combinations of people).

On Saturday night, the son-in-law's band played a show at a local brewery, so we all went there for supper and baby Wynn's first ever concert. It was fun!

Otherwise, aside from a few shopping trips and occasional walks around the block, we didn't do much but laze around the house and eat. A very nice and relaxing time.

TRAVELS

As mentioned, I drove to pick up my mom, and then Jane and I both took her home. Both trips were just overnight, and traffic was a piece of cake. We returned to FW around 7:30a on both Xmas Eve and NYE, and it was smooth sailing!

The son's family flew from Minnesota to Indy on the weekend before Xmas. They stayed with her family until Xmas Day; then stayed at our house until early Monday 12/29, flying out of FW. It sounds like both flights were excellent and the little traveler seems to be a natural. 

OTHER

Besides all the above, we had our nephew from Colorado and his wife and two kids (teens) stop by and spend the night on New Year's Day. It was a brief visit including supper, and he regaled us with some of his hurdy gurdy playing. 

Well, I'm sure I've forgotten several important details - like having a couple bouts with Afib during the week - but that's about it for the most part. Lots of food, a little bit of fun, and nothing much got broken. A pretty swell time once again...

Five things friday

Can you believe it? We made it to the second-to-last Friday of the year!! And it's the last one before Christmas, so there may or may not be another ftf in 2025 (we'll see how it goes). Anyway... this week is a bit "R" rated (hopefully you'll catch on). Here ya go...

1. REGARDING MENTAL HEALTH AND GOD

I try to read Richard Beck's substack every day - though I admit it's difficult to keep up, because he literally posts one every day (and it's not everyday stuff like I post). It is so good though. And this post on Soteriology and Mental Health hits so many nails on the head for much of what ails many people today. Here's a blurb (and don't be intimidated by the big words... he explains them):

Here’s the basic thesis. Much of our imagination about how God works in our lives has been shaped by soteriology, our beliefs about salvation. That is, when we talk about God’s actions in the world we mostly talk about how God saves us. This creates a habit of mind, an imagination about the shape and nature of God’s actions in our lives. But this imagination, while appropriate for talking about salvation, isn’t always the best for thinking about mental health and well-being. Basically, we import a soteriological imagination into therapeutic contexts where it is ill-suited.

2. RUNNING

The next round of marathon training starts Monday (12/22/25). This is according to my 18-week training plan in preparation for the next Fort Wayne Marathon on April 26, 2026.  

I've been doing between 2-5 miles a day for the last couple weeks, four days a week. Once again I will use a Hal Higdon plan - either Novice 1 or Novice 2. I'm thinking of the latter this year, though it calls for 8 miles next Friday. Gulp.

3. REFLECTION 

I'm not entirely sure where I even stumbled upon this journaling app: Reflection journaling app, but it looks kinda cool to me. I have yet to use it, but I may give it a try. Here are a few blurbs from their website:

• "Journal daily, unpack your thoughts, and improve your mental well-being with an AI coach."
•  "Your private journaling app with real-time guidance and insights to help you flourish."  
• "...more than just a digital diary — it’s a tool for clarity, self-awareness, and personal growth."

4. READING

I finished, 'Something To Do With Paying Attention' by David Foster Wallace, this morning. This was a stand-alone piece from his novel 'The Pale King,' both of which were written before he died, but published after. Amazon says, "It is the story of a young man, a self-described “wastoid,” adrift in the suburban Midwest of the 1970s, whose life is changed forever by an encounter with advanced tax law." So, other than the tax law part, made it interesting to me. It reminded me of 'On The Road' by Jack Kerouac, in that it had no chapters and was basically a very long train-of-thought from beginning to end. I liked it, but, as with most things, I don't know that I would recommend it, because you may not like it. Still, it made for a worthwhile read to occupy my mind for a week.

I don't know if I will start anything else before the end of the year or not. I still have a few on the waiting-to-be-read pile, and am assuming I will get some more for Christmas next week. However, I will also be kinda busy until the end of the year, so... we will see.

5. READ THIS QUOTE (and reflect)

"Grace is not a race to the finish line. It is the patient, renovating work of God over a lifetime, often through people who will not collude with our illusions but also will not abandon us in our shame." - Chuck DeGroat, When Patterns Tell the Truth

Alrighty, I have almost all our Christmas presents wrapped - just need to buy two more small things - and now it's time to finish cleaning the house, plus a 5-mile run. I wish I'd have run yesterday when it was 50F, instead of the 18 with feels like of 0 that it is today. Oh well.

Happy festivus and whatever else you wanna celebrate!

Peace

Five things friday

Well, the calendar says it's Friday, so I suppose I should whip somethin' out. I've been in a bit of a rut this week and just haven't been too motivated. Yet, here are a few things...

1. BUDA

We made it to the old hometown (village) and back last weekend. It was a Thursday to Saturday trip this time. Oddly enough, my mom wasn't even there - though she did return home on Saturday after we'd already left. While Jane was at her brother's house most of the time, I spent my time cleaning at my mom's. Dusting, vacuuming, fixed a couple things, and cleaned up her sidewalks and driveway of snow. I wasn't expecting to work quite so hard, but it was otherwise a pretty good trip.

2. AI NEWS

I saw the following two items on the 12/11/25 Superhuman newsletter. Both seem like really cool things (in spite of being sucked further into AI usage):

1. Oboe raises $16M from a16z to scale its AI learning platform: Oboe’s generalized learning platform transforms any subject into a structured learning experience, complete with custom visuals that break down complex technical concepts into digestible lessons. The startup recently raised $16M to continue developing its platform — try it for free here.

2. Adobe launches free access to photo-editing tools in ChatGPT: Adobe announced that Photoshop, Express, and Acrobat are now free in ChatGPT, allowing anyone to easily edit photos conversationally without leaving their chat. Just type each tool’s name in ChatGPT to get started. Live for web, desktop, and iOS — coming soon to Android. See the new features in action.

3. RUNNING

I started back running this week. I took two weeks off... I can't really remember why now. I guess we were in Minnesota for one, and once I'd decided not to do the trail half marathon, I didn't feel the need. Anyway, this week I've run on M,W,F, and I will tomorrow... just 3-ish miles each day. I also managed to do my weight routine in T & TH. So far I've managed the running all outside. Chilly, and Wednesday it was drizzling rain, but it feels good to run in the cold... at least once I'm done. ;)

4. READING 

I finished reading 'Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing' by Jay Stringer. Wowza. That was a doozie of a book. It took me some places I wasn't expecting, and was much more difficult than I thought it would be. Not that it's a hard read, but... it really threw me for a loop in some ways. That's partly why I've been struggling this week. I will definitely be digging into further resources along those lines. It was a very eye-opening book that probably most everybody should read - whether you think you have sexual brokenness in your life or not (because you likely do).

Yesterday I started 'Something to Do With Paying Attention' by David Foster Wallace. So far, in the first 20 or so pages, he pretty much describes my growing up years (we were born in the same year and lived in the same area). It's crazy...

5. QUOTE

I've needed to read this quote from Henri Nouwen a few times, and likely need to many more...

If we could just be, 
for a few moments each day, 
fully where we are, 
we would indeed discover 
that we are not alone 
and that the One who is with us 
wants only one thing: 
to give us love.

 

Okey doke... 'tis the season for busy stores, bad traffic, and holiday parties. We have one tonight, an Xmas concert to work tomorrow, Jane's work party Monday, and I have one on Tuesday.

Watch out for reindeer...