When everything feels broken

I know it's not... but sometimes it feels like it.

This week has been a series of broken things. When they start to add up it can seem like everything is broken... and my life can start to feel a bit crumbly/crummy.

1. The Security Flood Light on the garage had apparently stopped working some time ago. We are hardly ever out past dark (something about being old, I suppose), so I didn't notice when it happened. Anyway, I googled how to check/fix it. They had me do all these things. One of their suggestions, however, was not to check to make sure both bulbs hadn't just burned out. Yep. So that was an easy enough fix. ~$12 for two floods.

2. The dryer timer was a little more complicated. It simply would not turn, and therefore the dryer wouldn't work. I sprayed some liquid wrench in the switch and could finally turn it with a pair of plyers. I've been doing that all week now. I did get a new switch, but I haven't gotten around to changing it yet. I bought it at the local appliance repair shop and got the GE replacement - rather than waiting on an aftermarket order. I should have saved my money and just got it on Amazon (for like $35, instead of $85). Oh well.

At first we thought this was the dryer we bought when we moved here. Silly us. It's only two years old!! And apparently the timer switch goes out quite often. Great. 

3. After that was the passenger side door mirror on my Ford Escape (picture above). I have backed out of our garage a million and seven times and never once hit the mirror. However, the other night we were in a hurry to get to a volleyball game and... CRUNCH! I said a few cuss words very loudly. I was so mad at myself because I'm usually very careful (it's a tight fit on my side of the garage). I don't know how it even happened, but I was mad, embarrassed, and humiliated. It had not been a great week anyway. Now I felt like I couldn't do anything right. Jane telling me it was "no big deal" did not help... because, you know, she's not the one who has to fix these sorts of things. Plus, I'm just not pleasant when I start to feel things piling up...

Anyway, I found this replacement part, it arrived today, and was a piece of cake to swap out. Three bolts and one plug. Whew. Still, $60 and the humiliation just about did me in.  

4. Of course, yesterday was cleaning day, and I'd noticed my toilet had been making a hissing sound for a few days. I finally looked under the hood and it was the fill valve. I tried to wiggle it or something. Wouldn't you know... that made it leak somewhere and I soon had a puddle of water on the bathroom floor. 

I figured that since yesterday was cleaning day anyway, I'd just put a new toilet valve in it. I got the cheapest one I could find at Menards and swapped it out in no time. I still had some water collecting, but by this morning it had stopped and was dry. 

5. I don't actually have any broken bones... but, man, are they weary. I did manage to run a little over 7 miles this morning, but my legs are feeling soooooo weak. I just seem to have no strength in them anymore. I'm still doing a weight workout twice a week, but I'm kinda sore.

I finally broke down and order some Creatine this week, I'll see if that helps. Otherwise, for no more running than I've been doing (3--5-ish miles, 3-4 times a week), I don't know why I'm so run down. Surely it's not just age... right?

I could go on with at least a few more things feeling broken in my life right now, but it's Friday, so... we'll stop at five. That seems like enough. 

New shoes for both of us

We both got a new pair of running shoes last night. One was planned... the other wasn't.

She wanted to go to the running shoe store after work. I tagged along because... that's what I often do; plus, I just wanted to look at shoes. I didn't intend to even try any on because the last couple times I was there they didn't have anything in my size.

Jane ended up with the light blue Altra Experience Flow 3. For some reason they were $5 cheaper in the store than online. Anyway, this is a new shoe for her - and I've never worn Altra's before either. I actually tried some on because I like the wide toe box but the one's I tried on were a stupid color.

While the salesperson was helping her find new running shoes, I was looking over their wall of sale shoes. They actually had quite a few in size 8.5 and 9, so I started trying some on. I ended up getting the navy Saucony Triumph 23 in a size 9. It turned out not only were they on sale at the running store, but Saucony was having a Labor Day sale, so they were only $91.95 instead of $170.

I've never been a Saucony fan - I had another pair of them that I did not like at all, but my grandson liked them. These seemed pretty comfortable in the store, and seem very much like the Brooks Glycerin I am used to. I'd wanted something a little different, but bought these mostly because they were on sale, and also because I simply need another pair of shoes on hand. So, we'll see.  

Weekend in st. paul

I think I figured out why these are such relaxing times for me...

This past weekend we took a quick trip to St. Paul, MN to see the boy and his family. They live in a small house just off West 7th Street. It is a chill quiet neighborhood, but easy walking distance to so many shops, restaurants, breweries, parks, and other activity. (I didn't realize West 7th was St. Paul's first settlement, and the oldest commercial corridor in the state!).

We flew up - direct from Fort Wayne - Friday morning, and flew home Sunday evening. This flight schedule is so nice for a weekend visit. We're there by 9:30am and stay until just after supper - arriving back to our house around 10pm. It was 1hr 20 minutes wheels up to wheels down on the way there, and 59 minutes on the way back (apparently we can fly faster at night).

This trip included most of the usual: a couple visits to Brake Bread for breakfast scones and coffee, Chinese takeout one night, Waldmann Brewery one afternoon, Francis (plant based) Burger Joint one night, and this time we took in some music at the White Squirrel Bar (just down the street from the boy's house). I also found a place to run from this house - a trail along Shepard Rd that is excellent).

Otherwise we mostly hung around the house with the youngest grandchild - watching him paint, play his dad's drum set, read books, and throw a ball outside in the yard.

I have to say, this boy has the sweetest, most tender heart of anyone in the world. I know he is sure to have it broken one day - and it will hurt mine when that happens - but I hope he can hold onto it for as long as possible.

That is largely why this is such a relaxing trip for me: His parents seem to have no anger themselves. Certainly no one is perfect, but it is such a breath of fresh air to be around people who feel hopeful and light and seemingly hold no anger, animosity, or bitterness towards other human beings. It just feels... "light" to be around them.

As you likely know, I am not like that. So it does my heart good to experience it on occasion. Even when we have to all share one bathroom, which is right next to our tiny guest room, in this close-quartered house. But it helps that McDonald's is a mere .25 miles away, and there are several places to get a drink in the same area.

Yet, all that said, it was still nice to get back to Fort Wayne and settle into my routine again. I'd give just about anything for all our kids to live in the same area. Probably not ever going to happen... but I can dream. A little. 

30 things we learned about love

Hey there... how about a surprise for this Friday? Instead of a mere five things, why not thirty!?!

These aren't from me, but our good friends at the Gottman Institute (well, not that I know them or anything, but we are currently reading/working through their book 'Eight Dates').

I subscribe to a couple of their newletters, and one I usually read is the bi-weekly Marriage Minute email. This came on Tuesday (9/1/26)... for their 30th anniversary of founding of the Institute:

30 things we’ve learned about love in 30 years:

1. Friendship is the foundation of lasting love.

2. Knowing your partner’s inner world matters.

3. Fondness and admiration protect connection.
4. Small moments can make a big difference.
5. Turning towards each other builds trust over time.
6. Happy couples still disagree.
7. How you fight matters more than whether you fight.
8. 69% of relationship problems are ongoing, or perpetual.
9. Not every disagreement needs to be solved.
10. Understanding can be more valuable than agreement.
11. Gentle beginnings lead to better conversations.
12. Criticism attacks the person, not the problem.
13. Defensiveness makes resolution harder.
14. Contempt is extremely damaging to relationships.

15. Shutting down is often a sign of overwhelm, or flooding.
16. A six second kiss can lead to more intimacy.
17. Repair attempts help couples reconnect.
18. Accepting influence strengthens partnership.
19. There are always two perspectives, two viewpoints, two opinions.
20. Trust is built in everyday interactions.
21. Commitment is a choice made again and again.
22. Appreciation should be expressed, not assumed.
23. Emotional intimacy supports physical intimacy.
24. Talking openly about sex leads to better sex.
25. Shared rituals create stability and meaning.
26. There's not one right way to support each other’s dreams.
27. A strong sense of “we” is important for your story.
28. Teamwork and an “us against the problem” mindset matters.
29. Great relationships require intention, not perfection.
30. Lasting love is built through small things often.

 And... there ya go!

Happy Friday!! 

Addicted to a clean car

This past winter we had a new car wash open not far from our house (Yea, Wash N Roll!) They offered one month of their free premium membership. Which meant I could drive through and get my car washed as often as I wanted. It was nice, so I took it!

I fully intended to use it for that month, then cancel the membership. Then... you know... because it was winter... I thought I would wait until Spring and cancel it.

Well, wouldn't you know... I still have that membership.

I've had it on my list of 'things to do' for weeks now to cancel that membership... and I just can't bring myself to do it. I think I'm addicted to a clean car.

And what I like about Wash N Roll is... not only is it an easy way to get my car automatically washed on the OUTSIDE... but I also like their features for the inside.

There is an attached garage with:

•  Microfiber towels to dry off the inside parts of the doors and back hatch (that the automatic dryer don't always get)
• Two types of vacuums for the interior
• An air hose to blow out little nooks and crannies
• A dry cleaner for floor mats
• A window clean for interior and exterior window cleaning
• And an interior spray to use on the hard surfaces
• They also sell various cleaning supplies inside

So, lately I've been cleaning my car inside and out at least once a week... and I can't tell you how much it improves my mood simply driving around in a clean car.

Whether it's worth $40 a month... I don't know. But I'd probably choose this over a lot of other things that cost that much or more.

Maybe I'm just a sucker for yet another subscription scam-a-jama... and I realize it's a super privileged thing to do (both the cost and having the time to do it)... but maybe some things that feel good... should be done.

I dunno. 

Writing ritual

I really do want to write in this space more often. I know I say that all the time (at least in my head I do). Yet, something always seems to come up.

Even lately, it's not that I haven't been writing. Not as much has been on this blog. However, I do have one chapter complete in what I hope some day will either be a short story or short novella. It's a lot different than anything else I've written, so this is the first I've spoken of it... to anyone. I also have somewhat of a framework for my long-overdue Holy Week devotional using the music of David Gilmour. And, then there's the handwritten journal I keep.

Still, what I would like to do is have this blog be for my daily writing routine. Just stuff that's off the top of my head. Then, perhaps I can utilize my substack page for more Five Things Friday type stuff... or something. I dunno. 

Basically, I guess, I want to continue trying to be a writer. I know I will never make a living at it... or probably any money at all... but I think there are worse things I could do with my time. I have the perfect spot to do it from - sitting here at the dining room table looking out over the neighborhood. The slightly elevated view of our street gives me the feeling of being the overseer or something... 

Yesterday I happened across this short (10-minute) video clip of a guy talking about the drawing advice that changed his life. He said he was advised to stop trying to do so many things, and concentrate on just doing one thing every single day... over and over and over... for a year (he drew pictures of a bird). I'm not sure how it works for everyone, but for an artist... it kind of makes sense. And, right or not, I consider writing to be sort of an art. So, I'd like to just write more... maybe not every day, but most days - whether I have anything to say or not. Sometimes... it may be that our best efforts come from those days we don't think we're being effective... (I dunno for sure, but it sounds like a good thing to say).

Although, I just read a piece on Wendell Berry (I can't believe he died yesterday - even though he was 92, but still...). Winn Collier said Wendell told him "our real work is our love." So Wendell may refute that 'do the same thing every day'... because life will dictate that interruptions will be necessary... if we're loving people. 

I suppose those are two good things to hold onto together: being intentional about what we do, but also holding onto love for others above all else.

And there it is... 

Preaching...

Yesterday I spoke at our Sunday service again. Oof. I'm glad it's over. Again.

I suppose it went fine. I mean, I survived... no one threw anything at me... no one cussed at me... no animals were harmed and nothing got broke (at least I don't think so). 

Still... ugh. 

I didn't sleep very well the night before - which I think had more to do with what I'd eaten for supper than nerves about speaking. But it made me nervous, because I wasn't sure how/if my stomach would cooperate. 

That part went fine. The part that didn't... I don't know... it's hard to explain. 

I'd been working on this sermon for way too long. I thought I was suppose to share in June, or July, or sometime before the last Sunday in August. So, I had too much time to prepare. Which, naturally, meant I didn't really settle on what I was going to say in particular until too late. Also, I didn't really go over it very much the few days before. 

I felt kind of unsettled - for lack of a better word I can think of - as I delivered it. 

And... two people got up and walked out right as I started to share. I felt my heart drop a bit, and it took way too much energy from me to not let it get to me... which means it got to me.

The space where we meet - which is actually a Methodist church sanctuary - has all glass across the back. So when I'm up front speaking to the audience, I can see what's happening in the foyer and even outside - since the doors and walls leading outside are all glass too. It can be very distracting to me when people are out in the foyer. Even more so when I see them walk out of the sanctuary, and then leave the building. My mind wanders and I wonder why they left, what were they thinking, was it me, something I said or did... or did it have nothing to do with me at all?

Anyway, I left out some big hunks of my manuscript, I rearranged parts of it on the fly (and not well), and I added some bits here and there. I wasn't very happy with it.

And that doesn't really bother me so much. I knew it was not my best effort going in. Maybe that's why the two people who left made it hurt so much worse.

I don't know.

Anyway, this morning I started reading Andrew Arndt's substack post for today (https://theandrewarndt.substack.com/p/20-years-in-miscellany-and-meanderings?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web). In it he had this little ditty about Yo-Yo Ma:

 I heard Yo-Yo Ma say once that he approaches his concerts not as performances but as acts of hospitality. The goal is to use the music to open up a generous, life-giving space for all to feast and enjoy.

I like that. THAT is what I would like my preaching to be like... opening up a generous, life-giving space for all to feast and enjoy. What a way to enter into communion, eh?

So... there ya have it. That's all I've got to say today.

Here is the Youtube link to the message: https://youtu.be/lLyvt6GagDQ?si=LPkPpu4XMjdVPbMn 

Tedeschi trucks band & alabama shakes show

I finally gave m'Lady her birthday present (from February). We saw the Tedeschi Trucks Band & Alabama Shakes at the Ruoff Music Center in Noblesville, IN this past Saturday (8/22). It was awesome!

For those wondering about the show: they were co-headlining (I guess that's what you call it). Alabama Shakes opened, but both bands played just a tad over 90 minutes... and they both had their own stage setup. It wasn't a traditional opening band then headliner. And they were both equally incredible.

I was perhaps slightly surprised at how good the Alabama Shakes set was. Wow! Just filthy awesome. Brittany Howard can sing out of this world, AND play the guitar! I really, really liked them. And the two female backup singers were fun to watch too. We could see them when they came off the stage. We were on the left side (looking at the stage), and they sang and danced just as hard when they were off-stage as they did when they were on! It created an extra good vibe.

Tedeschi Trucks, of course, sounded incredible with their 12-piece band. Susan (Tedeschi) and Derek (Trucks) were on top of their game. Between her vocals and his guitar, it sounded as good as anything I've ever heard. My only problem... the stage set. For some reason they had the keyboard/organ on risers in front of the entire rest of the band. Since it was to Susan and Derek's right, it almost completely blocked our view. We could only see Susan when she stepped to the mic to sing, otherwise she was hidden from us. So it seemed like they were only playing to the people from the middle seats towards the right side. It bothered me at first, but I was either quickly high enough (from the people around us), or I decided I wasn't going to let it ruin my night. They still sounded great.

Otherwise... there was about a 10-minute total downpour during the tail end of Alabama Shakes. We were under the roofed part, so we didn't get wet, but a lot of people got completely soaked! Still, I didn't notice that anyone left. 

The other annoying part were two women seated directly behind us. One of them in particular had the most annoyingly piercing voice - and she talked the entire time!!! I turned around and burned them both a look twice, and other people were doing the same. Finally, about halfway through TTB the two rows in front of them (including us) just stood up so they couldn't see anything. They obviously weren't there for the show anyway. They all left shortly after that.

Besides the stage setup for TTB, the brief downpour, and the annoying talkers... it was a near-perfect evening.

Logistically... the show start time was 7:30. We left home at 4pm and arrived at the Sleepy Bear Campground (directly across the street from Ruoff) at 5:30. It was a piece of cake getting there. Originally we intended to tent camp there, but our son happened to be in town for the weekend, so we just parked their and drove home after the concert. It was super convenient, and was a mere 1/2 mile walk to the venue. We had a glass of wine and ate our peanut butter sandwiches in our lawn chairs while we waited for gates to open. There were plenty of people milling about - playing cornhole, music, smoking pot, and drinking.

We walked over to the venue around 6:30 and just followed a group of people who went all the way around the entire venue before entering. There was quite a line, but it didn't take long at all to get through because neither of us had a bag to search and they didn't make us go through the metal detector. Once inside, we meandered about and located restrooms, food and drink spots, and our seats. 

A lot has been added since our last time there in ~2006. There were plenty of drink options and spots to get it, and bathroom lines weren't even too long (especially the mens). We did get a couple drinks each. Ouch! Beer and seltzers were in 25oz. cans, and two of them were $50+. I had two light beers between 6:30 and 11:30, and I didn't need any more than that.

Our seats were great (other than the organ/keys setup). We were in section 105, row D, seats 1 & 2. So we were the fourth row back behind the pit area. They were nice stadium seats and we had a good view of the stage, but also the hallway leading from the green room to the stage. I always prefer being on the end of a row, and kind of like being slightly off to one side or the other. I think we paid $158 apiece, and for this show it was worth it.

The only real snafu came when the show ended. We just walked out with the crowd - which went toward the venue parking lot. Neither of us had any idea what direction the campground was from where we were, even while I was trying to use my phone map for directions. Finally we turned around and went to go back in the venue, which is what google maps said to do, and a kind security guard took us under his wing and walked us to where we needed to go to get to the campground. So, what should have been a 10-minute walk was more like 15. We made it to our car, and were easily back on I-69 heading north. We left the campground at 11:45pm, and pulled in the garage at 1:10am. Our son had just gotten home before us (from his 20th high school reunion).

All told, it was a very enjoyable time. The bands were awesome, the venue was superb, the campground parking excellent, and other than 10 minutes the weather was beautiful. I would definitely go see both bands again, and for sure take in more shows at Ruoff. A fine time, indeed! 

Five things friday

It's not that I've given up on this 'Five Things Friday' thing...

Some days I sit down to write a blog post... I put my hands on the keyboard... I raise a finger here and there (like opening my mouth to speak)...

And nothing comes out.

Here's another shot.

1. GLP-NONE

I tried some GLP-1 for weight loss. Granted, it wasn't the shots, and I didn't take it very long, but instead of losing weight... I gained a few pounds. Sounds about right, doesn't it?

Jane had gotten some GLP pills called "Calocurb" from a dietician or something (the main ingredient was Amarasate extract). They made her sick. So, instead of throwing them away, I took the rest. It was maybe 2 1/2 weeks worth. I could stand to lose 10 pounds or so. I figured, "Why not?"  

Well, one reason "why not" is because they didn't seem to do anything. I think I gained a couple pounds WHILE taking them, and a couple more since I stopped. 

2. BOOKS

I finished Jay Stringer's Desire (I may have already mentioned that), and last week finished Robin Wall Kimmerer's fine little book The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World. 

I loved it! For one thing, it's short (100 and some pages), but I also loved the sketches and the idea as a whole. What I think is most interesting, is that a lot of rural-ish, traditional-type people - the very same base who seem to make up a large portion of MAGA - would agree wholeheartedly with the book. However, if anyone else suggested the very same ideas, they would call them "woke" (or socialists, or liberal) or some such craziness.

Anyway, I really liked it, and think everyone should read it. It's economics made super simple, imho.

3. I'M PROBABLY ADDICTED

I stumbled onto this piece by Alex Olshonsky last week: You're Probably Addicted to Thinking. I think it's almost definitely true, but I'd like to read it again... so I put the link here.   

4. YES, I SAID SEX-THERAPIST

This is one (just one) of those things I've been meaning to write about but just don't really know how to get started. We have been seeing a Sex & Relationship therapist for... I think we've been there three times now. I know what you're thinking: We've been married more than 43 years, don't we know how to have sex yet??

Well, yes, we do. We even have proof!

However, it's also true that sex (and relationships) are complicated things. So, rather than just continue to avoid some delicate issues and cowander through old age as mere "companions"... we decided to do something about it. In other words - we think things could be better. 

I don't know why sometimes it seems so hard to say we could use a little help... because we could ALL use a little help. And, that's what we're doing. So far it's been good. We both really like our therapist, and most of the time it's honestly just us paying someone to sit in the room while we talk to each other. I think it's worth it. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions.

5. THE QUOTE

“The first gulp from the glass of natural sciences will turn you into an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for you.” — Walter Heisenberg, Nobel Prize-winning physicist 

Okey doke... I've done it! Five actual things. And I even have some left over! 

Here's some bonus content (for sticking around and being a pal - plus I didn't know where else to put it). From Mike Woodruff's Friday Update:

1) July was the hottest recorded month in the continental USA’s history.

2) Citing mental health concerns, the University of Michigan is launching a 2027 pilot program where no grades will be given to first-year students.

3) In the ‘90s, US men held 7M more payroll jobs than US women. Today, women hold 176K more jobs than men.

4) Last year, 52% of Zers directed funds meant for investing into sports betting.

5) Domesticated pet raccoons are becoming a thing.

6) Per this study, pastors are more concerned about AI than those in their churches.

7) Although sharks get the movies, mosquitoes kill more people in a day than sharks do in a century.

8) Among D’s, more now favor socialism than capitalism.

 

Five things...

I didn't use the full title of my old "Five Things Friday" because this isn't a full-fledged ftf. But, I realized I need to write something. If not for you, for myself. So, here's... something.

1. NEW COMPUTER

We got a new laptop. The one I've been using (and still am using for most things) is a Lenovo we bought in 2012. I can't believe it still works. 

We bought a refurbished Dell from a guy Jane works with for $300. I have yet to transfer very much over to it, but yowza is it a lot faster! It's not fit for gaming or anything like that - but neither am I. It makes the simple tasks of reading email and online articles a whole lot better though.

2. RUNNING... SLOW

I ran two days this week again. I started back after taking a month off, but only made it a couple days before the back started aching again. So, I took a couple more weeks off. Wednesday was the first run since July 17. I just went a couple miles - jogging 1/4 mile and walking .1 alternately. Today I went 1/2 mile before walking, and did 3 miles.

We'll see how it goes.

3. PROCRASTINATION

I have been having a really hard time with procrastination lately. Not long after I last spoke at church I started work on a new message I thought I was to deliver right about now. That has been pushed back to the end of August. I've basically written two separate messages, but not finished either one.

It seems to take me forever to start writing once I have an idea in mind. Then, I just can't seem to follow through. I don't know what my problem is. I don't know if I simply need to take a break from speaking or writing things again... or if I need quicker deadlines. I'm leaning toward the first, because it's really wearing on me. 

I miss my routine of reading, writing, and running. And, by 'writing,' I mean on here. Maybe I simply can't handle the pressure of speaking in church anymore. I dunno.

4. DESIRE

I am nearing the end of Jay Stringer's book Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal and Grow. It's been helpful, but it's a long book. I was thinking of getting the workbook, but, dang, I see it is every bit as long as the regular book. I don't know about that...

5. QUOTE (actually, two - totally separate, but the same)

"Whatever can be measured grabs our attention. How much money we make. How much weight we can lift. How many bedrooms are in the house. And once we notice a number, it is natural to want to improve it. We find ourselves wondering how to make more money, lift more weight, add another bedroom. What is measurable becomes what is important. Not because it matters more, but because it is easier to see..." - James Clear

"We often value what we can count, rather than what's important." - David Brooks

And... there ya have it. Five things. I actually did it. I wasn't sure I could... 

Sleep disorder study

I suppose it means I failed. Not necessarily that I have a sleep disorder... I failed the test entirely!

Last night I did my much anticipated/dreaded at-home sleep disorder test. My cardiologist (EP) ordered it for me just to see. I told him my wife says I sometimes stop breathing when I sleep. 

I went to the sleep disorder clinic at 3:30 to pick up the stuff and have them show me how to use it. A woman who had lost her voice the day before took me into one of the bedrooms. She sat on the bed and I sat across from her in a chair. She put the contraption together and showed me how everything worked and what I was supposed to do. There was...

• One strap with the battery-operated device that went over my chest
• one strap that went over my abdomen and connected to the device on my chest
• an oxygen sensor that wrapped around my finger and connected to the device on my chest
• a tube that wrapped over my ears, went into my nostrils, and had a piece that hung down to my bottom lip - which also connected to the device on my chest.

The device was set to turn on automatically at 9pm (which is when I told them I went to bed), and would turn off automatically at 6am. I think I was supposed to wear it for at least 6 1/2 hours. I asked what happened if I didn't sleep very well. The lady said as long as I slept at least a couple hours that would likely be sufficient.

So, at 9pm I strapped everything on. I had to tape the tube to each cheek, and the sensor onto my hand. I felt like I had wires and hoses dangling everywhere when I tried to climb into bed. I wondered if I would ever be able to sleep.

Actually... I found I could sleep better than I thought. Once I lay down and got adjusted to everything, it wasn't so bad. Of course, I had to get up and pee twice during the night. Once around 11pm, and again at 4:14am. 

That's when the bad news came. 4:14am. I know, because I had a strange feeling, turned on the bathroom light, and checked all the wires.

Somehow the lead from the abdomen strap/sensor had come unplugged. I'm not sure when it happened. It could have been right from the start when I put everything on, or at any point during the night.

So, I plugged it in at 4:14 and went back to bed. I intended to get up at 5:15, but I decided to wait until the unit turned off at 6 - hoping maybe that hour forty five would be enough time to get what they needed.

When I returned the unit at 8 this morning the lady who took it from me seemed like she was in a hurry, and she didn't speak very good English either, so I didn't get a chance to say anything about it. I'd written it down, so hopefully someone will read it in the paperwork I had to submit with the list of questions from before and after the test.

Now... I wait. They said it will be up to two weeks before they send the results to my doctor.

I suppose the worst case is that it will be inconclusive and they will either want me to do it again, or they will want me to do the test there. Best case would be that they got enough info to determine one way or the other. I'm hoping for that... and that it determines I do not have a sleep disorder.

All in all, it seemed like a lot of hassle for something that doesn't seem to bother me. But, I guess we'll see. 

Bike lubing

 I'd had it on my list of things to do for over a month. Earlier in the spring/summer, we'd gone for a bike ride and Jane said her shifter wouldn't change gears. She has a Linus bike with an internal-hub 7 speed. Naturally, I procrastinated because... "internal hub." I figured it was beyond me to repair.

We finally got it to work in one gear. I kept it on my list of things to do, but... you know how that goes.

Well, Monday she wanted to ride her bike to work. Her office recently moved to a new location which is much closer than her old office. It is 2.5 miles from our house by car, and 3.5 miles by bicycle via the river greenway path. Wouldn't you know it, when she went to leave, the shifter wouldn't work again.

She ended up taking my bike, and I went out right away and started looking her bike over (still in my pajamas).

I pulled up a Youtube video on Shimano shifters that won't change gears. Oh... it seemed like a simple enough fix. They said the old lube was likely hardened and gunked up and that's what was keeping it from moving. So...

I removed one screw, popped the cap off the bottom of the shifter (after loosening the whole assembly and turning it upside down), sprayed it with some PB Blaster penetrating oil, let it sit, dried it off, shot it with some compressed air to remove particles and further dry, then sprayed it with the WD40 chain lube. Now it works like a charm!

Chain lube probably isn't the best thing to use on the shifter, but google says it's okay as long as it's not too thick. I just gave it a light spray.

While I was at it, I sprayed down the chain and sprockets too. I went ahead and did my bike as well. So, we are rolling smooth and good to go!!

This morning we both rode our bikes to her office. It took us 24 minutes together. I raced home and made it in something like 17 minutes. I drove the car there later and it took 6 1/2 minutes. And here we are…

Family vacation 2026

I'm finally getting around to posting about our family vacation from a few weeks ago. It was basically a long weekend from July 2-6. The two of us along with the Feipel five drove to Galena, IL from Fort Wayne (right about 6 hours), and the Minnesota clan drove down in just under 5 hours. We all arrived Thursday afternoon, and left Monday around noon.

This was our third family vacation where we rented a vrbo in The Galena Territory. The other times were in 2017 and 2019. It seems to work out nice for us. It's hard to beat the beautiful views in the rolling hills of Northwest Illinois; Galena is a cool little town with a lot of quaint shops, parks, and paths; and we always put the Owner's Club to good use with their indoor and outdoor pools, game room, fitness center, and courts.

This year a number of our group went on a trail ride at the Shenandoah Riding Center. Jane, Isaac, Drew, Anna, Bennett and Caleb braved an hour ride - and discovered horseback riding uses muscles that don't often get much work! I can't remember the name of their guide, but she did an awesome job - especially considering most of the group had never been on a horse before, and even the ones who had were well out of practice.

Another outing we all did together was a tour of Ulysses S. Grant's home. It was interesting, though a few of us had seen enough before the full tour was over. There were a bit too many people in our party, and it got a little crowded. 

Most of the time we made our own meals - with different people taking turns cooking. One night we did order pizza... I think it was Cannova's Pizzaria (?). Oh my... it was sooooooo good!!!

Other than that, we hired a photographer (JennaDarcy.com) to take some family pictures. She was absolutely fantastic to work with - especially since we had to work around a nasty weather system - and we got a lot of nice pics from Grant Park in downtown Galena.

So, that's the basics. As always, it was much too short, but we do appreciate our kids/grandkids taking time out of very busy lives for the biennial (every other year) gathering.We know it may not be possible much longer, but we'll take what we can get. 

It's been awhile...

I posted this on my Substack page today. I hadn't written anything there in a long while. I still go back and forth whether I like that format or this one better. Anyway, if you would like to subscribe to my substack, just click the link to my post from today (https://open.substack.com/pub/danhorwedel/p/its-been-awhile?r=1n32p6&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web) and then click "subscribe." It's free, though I'm still not sure you'll get your money's worth...

Anyway, here is today's post: 

Life has a funny way of changing us sometimes, doesn’t it? I tend to think of that as a bad thing… but is it? Imagine if we never changed…

I don’t really know why I stopped writing. One might think it was because I had nothing to say. It may be just as likely I had too much. I suppose a lot of problems have been caused by people saying things they weren’t really sure how to put into words. I’m never sure if it’s better to say them poorly, or not at all.

I finished reading the Penguin Classics book ‘The Desert Fathers,’ which was translated by Benedicta Ward. It was not an easy read - which doesn’t mean it was bad or good. I suppose it was good to read during a period of darkness. I know it was good to read while lying flat on my back for a week recuperating from a bout of stupidly lifting too much weight. I wish I could say it helped me deal with not being able to run for almost a month now. Still… I’m glad I read it, and glad it’s done.

I am currently reading through Poet Priest-Vol. II by Andy Squyres. Today’s reading included this (p.31-33): “The world is such that if you don’t abandon your tenderness early on, you will be crushed, and sometimes dramatically so. You will be crushed many times over as long as you let tenderness be active in your heart… But Christ promised that in learning from him - from Christ - we will ‘find rest for our souls,’ and I think that we who have been taught by the hostility of the world must dare to hold ourselves open again to the tender workings of Christ.” I’m trying to do that. But… damn… it fucking hurts to be crushed over and over. And I don’t say that as an innocent victim. Merely a human being stumbling through life the only way I know how.

Next up to read is Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow, by Jay Stringer. I’m not really looking forward to it - mostly because it has a lot of pages but also because of the content - but I’m also looking forward to it.

I have a lot of unread and unanswered emails. I never used to be like that. I don’t know what’s happened to me. Anyway, I was supposed to send a link to my latest “sermon” (or, the last time I spoke in church) to a couple people. I think this link still works: 5.3.26 sermon. Sorry about that.

I’m currently working on a message about Habakkuk, which is due to be delivered in a few weeks (I think). I’ve been living with him in my head for too long… though, probably, rightly so. I feel like we’re kindreds. And I can’t seem to find the right words to describe him (or me).

Such is life, eh? 

Clogged drain

Well, it's been a bit... again. We were gone for a week on vacation and I'm just now getting back into the flow of things.

Speaking of flow... the DAY BEFORE we were to leave for a week's vacation... the main drain in our house clogged. Ugh. That's such a terrible feeling.

I'd cleaned the house and did some laundry and I was washing the throw blankets we use on the couch. When I went to put them in the dryer... there was still water in the washing machine! We also have a utility sink beside the washing machine that the machine will overflow into when draining, and it was full too. Not good.

First I called Korte, because that's who we used 15 years ago when it clogged. It was about 1:30pm, and they said they could have a plumber there "sometime in the afternoon/evening." I went ahead and booked the appointment, but then called Roto-Rooter. They said they had a couple guys just finishing a job, and they would send them straight over. So I cancelled the Korte appointment. 

Two guys from Roto-Rooter showed up in 30 minutes. Since we don't have an outside drain cleanout, they were unsure exactly how to go about snaking the main drain. The inside cleanout is the old cast pipe, and the cap sits right up against the furnace (for some stupid reason). It wasn't likely to come out anyway - at least without breaking. At first they thought about pulling one of the toilets off and snaking through there. What they ended up doing was cutting the copper soil pipe that comes down from the two bathrooms. 

So, they cut the pipe and ran their snake with the root cutter through there. The guy worked at it for about 30 minutes or so. Then they patched the soil pipe with a rubber boot. All told, they were here for 90 minutes and it was $635! Wowza!! That's a bit more than the $168 I paid in 2011.

They said what we need to do at some point is have an exterior drain cleanout installed. That piping is larger and they can use a larger snake/cutting tool. It's likely that there are tree roots that have grown through the pipes outside, so it's probably only a matter of time before it happens again.

I was just relieved they got it unclogged before we left on vacation. Although I did still worry about it off and on while we were gone. One of those things, I guess.

I don't even want to think about how much it will cost to have someone put an exterior cleanout in...