Monday, August 30, 2010

My midweek meditation

We started having these "Midweek Meditations" at the church on Wednesday nights. We've had two now. We just open the building up for an hour, and have four "stations" where people can open themselves up to God. One station offers cleansing & communion (with a written prayer of confession and communion meditation, along with a bowl of water to "cleanse" our hands, and the communion elements); one station is for Scripture meditation; one has a bunch of candles in case you want to pray and light a candle(s) for your prayer(s); and then we have paper and pencils for anyone wanting to write or draw. There is also some soft music playing in the background. For a little glimpse into my mind, and for a bit of posterity, here is what I wrote during our last one (from Wednesday, August 25, 2010). It's not very spiritual, but... it is what it is:
This is the second Midweek Meditation we've had. Last week we had 4 people: Me, Jane, ____, and ____. This week there are 5: Me, Jane, ____, and 2 new people, ____, and ____.

I think I have the music too loud; and I don't like this CD. I also thought that I would set the thermostat so it would cool off in the afternoon, then it wouldn't need to run for the hour while we are here... but I got the am/pm wrong, and it was hot when I got here, so I had to run it. Otherwise I think it went ok.

We had an interesting Scripture reading for the night. I just pick the gospel reading from the Daily Office, and it was John 7:1-13. I used the CEV. I have to admit, I read it over and over several times. Finally, all I could think is that... we don't really need to "advertise" Jesus. What he would really like is for people to see him through us. I don't know if that's the point of the passage, but that's what it made me think. It's like we spend so much time trying to make Jesus known with little trinkets and whatnot, but how much time do we spend making him known through our lives? Or, better yet, how does he influence our lives?

Anyway, I also spent a great deal of time at the confession/communion area. It was weird, I asked God to make me aware of any sins I needed to confess and, geezaroo... they just kept coming. And by the time I had confessed a bunch, I was already doing some of the things I'd confessed already. So I spent a lot of time there.

I spent a good deal of time at the prayer station too. At first nothing was coming, so I lit a candle - kind of hoping to "light a fire." It's interesting how intentionally praying for your 'enemies' really works on you.

As usual, I probably get the most out of the writing aspect. It's almost like I need to write in order to process my thinking. And, I know I write weird, but it helps me. I regret that I sometimes offend others on my blog - that is certainly not my intention. That's where the "dangerous" comes from in the title - there is always danger whenever I speak my mind. I'm not sure what more I can do other than continue to try to live my life transparently before others as I seek to walk with God. When I falter I need to ask forgiveness, otherwise I guess I do what I do, and be who I am.

Thank you, Lord, for loving me. I love you too. Your son, Dan.