Not only is it Monday morning, but I feel a certain weight today.
A young couple who were just married this summer lost their unborn child yesterday. Labor must take on a whole new meaning in those circumstances.
An internet friend (Milton) was informed Saturday morning that his church no longer wanted him to preach. Nice timing.
I am fighting the urge to feel overwhelmed. I really do like Christmas-time -- what it's all about; being together with family; the music; etc. I even like shopping (I know, I know. I really am a guy). But as a pastor, it is one of the two most busy times of year for me. So I have to work hard to not let myself get distracted and lose the joy of the season. And it's complicated by the fact that I usually take a week of vacation right after Christmas. And vacation for me just means I have to do that much more work right before and right after vacation - so it's not really all that much fun sometimes. But... I will not be denied. I am going to enjoy Christmas if it kills me! Ho ho ho. :)
Sadly though, I have this tendency to sometimes take on other people's pain. Especially unstated pain. You know, when you can see in someone's face that they're really sad or hurting. It hurts. And I often either want to try to "fix" things, or I begin to "own" their grief... and neither one of these things are healthy, right, or worthwhile. Instead, I will try to keep their pictures in my mind and pray over them as I flip the pages. Being sure to also keep the image of hope that is what this season is all about.
Advent is waiting.
Wait. Weight. Slate.
Straight. Bait. Hate.
Validate. Skate. State.
Rate. Irate. Infiltrate.
Defibrilate. Insinerate. Escalate.
Debate. Plate. Date.
Mate.
Never late.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
17 comments:
Great poetry to end your post, Dan...you should've written it that way (instead of paragraph form).
There are a few people in my "sphere" who are struggling with excruciating circumstance right now--one, a husband moved out last week after an on-again, off-again 3-year affair :(, the other, the mom of one of my daughter's best friends is hospitalized for about the 12th time this year, and the money she was given to purchase Christmas gifts was stolen (they barely bring in enough to cover living expenses), etc.... It's sooo difficult to LOVE people in action when it's not "convenient" (so busy just keeping up with my own family); I, too, wanna "fix", and I can't help but feel their pain. In the past, I've not set boundaries, and consequently allowed myself to get sucked in to some things that I probably shouldn't have. There's that whole co-dependency thing going on, too. Now...I'm praying for WISDOM and discernment in knowing how to respond, and the freedom NOT to be a "fixer". I'm learning, but not there yet.......:/.
Thanks Robin. Okay, I changed the poetry (I think).
Yes, you seem like a "fixer" from what I've read of you. Praying for wisdom is always wise. :)
Thanks,
dh
I imagine it's hard not to get jaded as a defense mechanism. Unfortunately, there is always a bad day and a worst day of your life lurking out there, and most of us just wait for our turn and deal with it, but I'm sure these people find solice in the empathy of their Pastor who shares it with them. Unfortunately, that means Pastors have more bad days than most people, I guess, which is kind of a bummer, I hope there are others who share their good days with you.
Speaking of tragedy and poetry, this has both. In 1987 INXS was my favorite band, their album "Kick" had four or five hits on it and I was listening to it over and over. The lead singer here, Michael Hutchence, of course killed himself in '97. You might recognize the song at the front of this video, "Need you Tonight" but you don't have to listen to that if you weren't a fan, just slide the bar to a point just past half way and you'll see guys there tossing cue-cards with words on them. The song is "Mediate" and I think you'll appreciate it today.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tskD85e-h0Y&search=INXS%20Mediate
Nice change...did you add some words?
Yep...recovering people pleaser AND fixer...tough to overcome.....
(from "what you've read of me..." smack, smack)
MR,
Ha... i was a huge INXS/Michael Hutchence fan. Weren't videos great back then? I wasn't actually thinking of this song/video at the time, but it could have been so embedded in my mind that that is where those words came from. And the video had some good ones I didn't think of - MEDIATE, liberate, etc. (hmm, but notice how "sex" kept popping into the video - and it doesn't even rhyme).
Anyway, thanks for the trip down memory lane; and for once again seeing the 'peripheral' in the pic.
peace,
dh
Robin,
Nope - no words added. But I can think of several i'd like to... but it's too..... "late." :)
dh
Great poem, Dan. Mind if I post it and credit you?
I have always respected Pastor-types this time of year. I know how hard it is to find time to spend with people and to actually enjoy this season for those of us who AREN'T Pastors. I can't imagine having the responsability of shepherding and caring for a church body, too.
Blessings to you for what you do.
Lily.
Lily,
I didn't even know it was a poem until Robin said so. I was more just rambling. But I'm honored you liked it and please feel free to use it as you wish.
Thanks also for the kind words. It's probably not as bad as I make it out to be (I'm such a whiner). But I appreciate your thoughts and blessing nonetheless.
peace and grace,
dh
At some point, we're going to hit more information than you need, but you probably liked that video because you're a Bob Dylan fan:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-xIulyVsG8
See, this is exactly what I need... kind of like an external memory source. :)
My son does a great job on that song (Subterranean Homesick Blues). I think his favorite line is, "The pumps don't work 'cause the vandals took the handles." Great stuff!
STOP THE PRESSES!!! Just so everyone knows... I signed in on the comment page and my comment posted on the first try! Ha... and I thought it couldn't be done. Now we'll see if it can happen twice in a row.
Sharing people's pain, I believe, is a gift. I know first-hand that you have that gift and am grateful for it. It gives strength.
And in a convergence of events, with me as the bridge, I carry this link over from a friend's blog who was very impressed with it. I watched it and I, too, felt the very palpable sincerity in the room and the effect it had on the audience with this cover of "Fix You" done by Young@Heart, an elderly group. The singer, whoever he is, does a better job with it than the original artist, I think. And these people, who have had the time to really understand pain and healing, bring an enhanced meaning to the song. So, here's one for the fixers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2u6k-99qcCE&eurl=
MR,
Yes... awesome video. There's something about aged wisdom that adds a certain depth to things. One of the best I've seen in awhile.
Thanks for sharing.
dh
Dan, sorry to hear about your pain. I'm touched that you are concerned about my situation. Please don't grieve for me, though. Carolyn and I are excited about the prospects for serving the church and we're in good shape emotionally. Thanks for your prayers and concerns. You're in my prayers, too, brother. Peace.
Milton
Milton,
Good to hear from you, and really glad to hear that you're doing well.
Peace, my friend.
Dan
Ironic... his name even reflects the balance of things. Milton - Paradise Lost, and Paradise Regained.
...just thinkin' out loud. I'm reading backward now to see comments from people who don't blog every day. You know, normal people. :D
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