I'm too pessimistic and leery

Pessimism and lack of trust in others are perhaps my two biggest problems. I don't really trust anyone, and you may wonder why that's so bad, but it leads to being much too negative a person. Which has then robbed me of much joy in the friendships I have, and cost me some friendships that I could have had; but it's also cost others whom I might have helped. As best as I can tell, the reason for my lack of trust is tied to my not wanting to be played for a fool. I don't want to 'look bad.' Which is a rather vain and self-centered reason, indeed.

I've been aware of this problem for some time, but it just hit me between the eyes as I took a phone call a moment ago. I am always leery of answering the phone at the church, because it is usually a sales call (honestly, probably 3/4 of the calls I get are). Or else it's the guy who calls here all the time asking for money. He always acts like he's never called here before, but he does about once a month.

Anyway, I answered the phone and this person asked if I had a moment to talk. I reluctantly said, "okay," only because of the hollow sound of their voice. But then they blurted out, "In the final judgement, what will we be judged for?" And I immediately thought it was one of my dreaded end-times "friends" trying to get me into an argument. So I put up the ole' guard and asked what the nature of his call was. And... to make a long story short, he finally mentioned that his friend had committed suicide... and he wondered what would happen to him... He said he had been going through the phone book... calling churches... trying to find answers... trying to find someone to help him. I was completely humbled.

We talked for a bit, and I didn't have too many answers, but asked if I could pray for him. I don't know if it helped much, but at least it helped me to see how harmful my pessimistic lack of trust in others could be.

Lord, forgive me. I need to quit worrying so much about myself. Help me be more like Jesus. Amen.